Debi

Jim, I am so glad that you posted. I have only been a member of this board since June but Ada responded to many of my posts. There are often people who stand out in life and who do so without even trying. Ada was one of those people. She had such dignity and such serenity...anything that she said was automatically greeted with reverance by me. She was a quiet voice, but one which carried a lot of determination and strength behind it. I hope that you and your family find your peace in the fact that Ada will not be forgotten here even by those, like myself, who did not know her well. I share your loss and wish you the best....

I didn't see that one coming!!

Oh now you all went and did it girls...you've awakened one of Dave's fantasies!!!

Hey Rich... I love this one from your signature.. I think I will plagarize and put it up on my board tomorrow at work. How true it is...I like it!!

Fay, What a perfectly shaped head you have!!! I think its screaming for a tattoo though!!!

Marisa, I just wanted to wish you well and let you know that you are not alone in your fears...I am the same. You might want to check the forum "Early Stage NSCLC"...you will probably find all the fears that you voice located there!! I think also that you have received some great advice on the board from our fellow woman survivors as far as getting a CT. Just think of the relief you will feel after you get the results and they are negative!! That is worth it alone for your well being...It will take some of the "punch" out of those other aches and pains. My Surgeon and Pulmonary Specialist also told me that I had an 80/85% chance of survival (my nodule was 1.3) and to get on with my life..that I was "cured". I have been in many threads here regarding adjuvent chemo and will spare all by not going on again . However, my choice after surgery was to follow what my surgeon and pulmonary specialist said...to not have it. I agree 100% with Eileen..the study did not really separate Stage 1a and Stage 1b and it is thought that there was no advance in survival rates among Stage 1a people that had the chemo. There WAS a 5% increase among Stage 1b patients. The decision to have adjuvent chemo is definitely a personal one...and neither right nor wrong...I have no regrets about not having it and if my cancer does come back, will still have no regrets. I hope that you will continue posting Marisa....its great to meet other survivors!!!

David, I'm sorry that the news was not good from your tests. But I know that you are a Survivor and a fighter....long before cancer even came into your life....you fought and won against a different disease... I know that you know that we are all here for you...and are your cheerleaders as you fight this new battle. (Just try not to visualize some of us in the pompoms and skirts ) You'll get through this...you ARE a survivor!!

Bob... A big woooooo hoooooooooo for your "halfway" mark!!! You are an inspiration! Read your article...I like the "Marlboro miles for cancer" title. I collected those damn miles too... Your post came at a good time...today was a very stressful day for me and I probably came the closest to buying a pack of cigarettes yet. Took alot of talking to myself and thinking it through. Sometimes its one minute at a time.....what an addiction, huh? Anyway Bob, thanks and a HUGE congratulations!!

Doug, I understand your concern and wanted to let you know that I think everything that you are feeling is "normal" after surgery. I only had 2 lobes removed, it seems like your surgery was more involved than mine. I am just over the 4 month mark and my right side and front is still numb, although at times I experience all different types of pains and feelings in that area sometimes without warning! I also still have trouble sleeping on my right side because it is uncomfortable. The incision in my back is completely numb still. I also have numbness of various degrees on other parts of my body, although I think that this is a reaction that I have had to my epidural. My surgeon told me that this surgery is a huge surgery, between the cancer, incision, anesthesia, etc, there is a long recovery period. Muscles, nerves, etc have been cut...people recover in different ways. The best thing to do I guess is to listen to your body. If you get winded after walking for 20 minutes, accept that for today and try again tomorrow for 21 minutes. I get winded after a hard day of running around at work, and I get upset that if I address a group, I am breathless after about 10 minutes of constant talking. However, 4 weeks after surgery I could barely make it through Walmart and thought I would pass out at the cash register. I try to remember that it is going to take awhile to heal and I will most likely not get back to "normal" whatever that is.....I have a new phrase that I stole from another member here.. I am at my "new normal"!! (Thanks Gail! ) I no longer take pain pills..I pretty much stopped taking the pills a few weeks after the surgery. My pain was bearable...I had more trouble trying to sleep at night and accepting the fact that I had cancer. I'm not sure about the stomach problems...I had problems right after surgery but then was okay. Could the percocet upset your stomach maybe?? Have you asked your doctor about your stomach? Glad that you found us Doug and hope you keep posting.......

Thanks, I feel better now...I was kicking myself that I couldn't make it to 4000 on the damn thing..wasn't sure where I am supposed to be!!! I had this terrible nurse...I called her Nurse Ratchett after my surgery...she kept telling me that I wasn't even trying when I couldn't get above 500. Her relentless critisism didn't make me get over 500, it just made me feel that there was something wrong with me because I couldn't get above it. When I got home, I remember the day about a week later I finally was able to get 750 on the thing. Well Fay, we may not be able to run any races yet but we'll get to where we need to on our own time!!

Berisa, I don't know much about gout but I do know that pain can really affect moods. I hope that your dad gets something to help his pain and he starts feeling better. I agree with the above posts and I think we all go through "bad" days and depressing days...I am sure your dad will come out of this and be back to himself!! Try not to take everything that he says to heart and know that the pain is what is talking right now. Sending my best wishes...

Sounds good to me Becky...start eating!! I have a pint of my usual Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia...will start you off!

David, This one is priceless!!! And so TRUE!!!!

David, I don't know much but have been around this board long enough to know that quite often, additional tests prove there is no cause for alarm. I hope that in your case, this is the outcome. Will be thinking of you Monday... and will be there in spirit!

Way to go woman... as far as the NED is concerned!! Sorry to hear about the Gall Bladder though...but hey, you keep shedding parts like you said...you'll never have to diet. Wonder how much a gall bladder weighs??

Thanks for all your replies and I apologize for not making chat or emailing those of you I email. Donna..that is the name of the gland..the parotid gland! I love this board, you can come on here and someone has heard of whatever you may have!! Fay, I will definitely tell my Onc about it..I have an appointment in a couple weeks for my 3 month check up and will mention it to him. Am so sorry that I haven't been in touch since my last post. On Monday I found out my boss was leaving and within 24 hours he had resigned and left. I had mixed emotions over his departure. He called me Tuesday evening after he had cleared out his office and when I hung up I cried for about 1/2 hour. I haven't cried in a very long time even when I found out about my cancer. Although my boss has made many mistakes and not always done the right thing, he called me every day I was in the hospital and at least 3 times a week while I was recovering. That's something that you can't forget no matter what some one might have done. Anyway, am really tired..have wanted to cut back on my stress at work and now there is added stress and responsibility. I'm working long hours but actually am feeling good other than the soreness that I get when I'm fatigued. Today, my coworkers said I was starting to list again when I walk and I noticed that I do that when I get worn out. Its the front of me, my ribs, my breastbone and down my right side...it gets so sore and I start favoring it. Yesterday, at one point, I was literally gasping for breath because I was running all over the place the entire day. But you know what? I feel so alive right now. Even limping, and gasping... I feel good...if that makes sense!! I tried breathing on the spirometer (?)..that breathing thingy I got at the hospital...and I am a little over 3500 now. I remember in the weeks after my surgery how I struggled to get over the 500 mark..I never thought I would be able to do it!! So I am feeling pretty good overall and just hope that it will continue. Thanks again for all your replies and Becky...I didn't get into the plane ride in my post...that was another LONG story that I spared you all!!

How terrible that she is gone..she was trying so hard to be here for her son. I don't think that losing people will ever get easier no matter how long I am here... It just gets harder and harder. I hope that Janet's family is able to find some sort of peace...

Hey Gail... Don't you go blaming this on ME!!!! Anyway, I meant to say in my other post, I agree with what you said about the stress in your life. I've been reading books particularly about the affects of stress on your body and as a result have started thinking of a way to leave my job. In the meantime, am going to study relaxation techniques to try to get through the coming stressful season without reacting daily to the stress which I honestly can see now has a big impact on me. Well, time to get to my piles of laundry that are stacked up in my dining room...talk about leaves in the yard...at least you can close the blinds! And Dave..I vote to keep you here...you have been so involved on this board no matter what stage you are ... but I think we would definitely like to keep you here as an honorary I.

Cheryl, I was wondering how you were doing post-op!! I am sorry that you had to go back to work so fast but know your situation and am glad that you were able to! I tend to agree with your surgeon and Onc...your body needs to heal woman...the surgery is a huge thing and especially having to go back to work so early..you need healing time. Of course this opinion might mean more if I had a medical license.... Glad all is well...

Peg... Am so happy for you and Bill!! Wonderful news!!!

The average person walks the equivalent of twice around the world in a lifetime. The New York phone book had 22 Hitlers listed before World War II ... and none after. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, "They'll put a man on the moon before I hit a home run." On July 20, 1969, a few hours after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Gaylord Perry hit his first, and only, home run. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was Willy. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name. Men commit suicide three times more frequently than women do. But women attempt suicide two to three times more often than men. In 1900 the average age at death in the US was 47. A poll of 3,000 Americans found that for 41 percent, the thing they're most afraid of is speaking before a group of people. 32 percent stated they were afraid of heights. The Western practice of wearing a wedding ring on the third finger (not including the thumb) began in Greece in the third century B.C. The Greeks believed that there was a vein, named the "vein of love," that ran from what we now call the ring finger directly to the heart. As a result, they placed the ring that symbolized love on that finger. In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33 Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80% Percentage of American women who say they'd marry the same man: 50% Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar. First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

Hebbie, Thanks for the info... I found the stuff on the mushrooms very interesting. Let me know what your Oncologist says when you speak to him. I will also ask mine when I see him next month but I don't have any expectations for what he may answer !! He isn't very "cutting edge" I'm afraid.

What a great thread this is...and I relate to so much of what has been said! As I've posted before..I'm in that struggle of trying to find my life after my diagnosis and how to live it without constant fear. My diagnosis has been the monster in my closet, the boogey man under my bed. Its the sound of a footstep outside my window..and being convinced that its the madman from all those old horror flicks I used to watch, coming to get me. Its everything that I've ever feared..rolled into one. As the holiday approaches I wonder if I'm going to have more holidays.. if my son is going to remember me and the times we've spent if I don't. I realize every single day that my stay at Stage 1A is not guaranteed and fight constantly to keep that realization dim. I struggle to find my positive "space" and be able to look at my son without thinking that I am running out of time with him. Eileen, something you said in particular hit home... I love it.. this kind of puts things in perspective for me and I hope that after my tests next month and more time under my belt, I'll be able to live by your words...they are so true!! Hopefully, with the help of all of you who have come before me, I will be able to find my "new normal" because I don't want to live in fear....I don't feel spared at all... but wish I could feel spared.

Well, I actually made it back home... Here's a bit of trivia...What does a fugitive murderer who is wanted by the FBI and the subject of a massive manhunt AND yours truly have in common?? Give up? ...we both stayed at the same Doubletree Hotel in Virginia Monday night. Yes, once again, my luck surfaces!!! My coworker happened to be staying in the adjoining room from him. I was on the next floor since I had a non smoking room. Well, long story short..my coworker was called by the FBI and told to evacuate her room and I decided to leave mine since I was directly over him. Sat in the lounge until 3 am watching the SWAT team, FBI, about 5 different types of law enforcement and the Police Negotiators walking through the lobby. Of course there were lots of other displaced people there too..and the hotel provided quarter beers for the inconvenience. Of course I don't drink OR smoke so sat there in the haze of smoke watching everyone else get drunk!!! But didn't feel comfortable going back to my room with the SWAT team underneath me. Finally, after 5 hours they threw smoke bombs in his room and the SWAT team broke the door down with a battering ram. It was a nightmare. Of course, next morning when we went to work, everyone was giggling because it had made news all over the area and they all knew we were at the Doubletree. Thursday night we were eating dinner and the left side of my face and neck blew up until I looked like a bullfrog. It was completely numb so I went to an emergency care center that happened to be right next to the restaurant (coincidence?? ) I was afraid that it was a lymph node or something and I was going to be stuck in a strange state and not be able to get home to my son..I was terrified. By the time I got to see the doctor (2 hours later ) the swelling was pretty much gone but she was able to see some of it. It originated above my jawline so she said it was not my lymph node and she could almost guarantee it had nothing to do with cancer. She said it looked like it was my salivary gland (can't remember the name of it) and that it might have flared up for some reason since it happened when I was eating. It was okay the next day and I will mention it to my doctor but I'm not that worried since it was not a lymph node. The entire trip was one crazy thing after another including the trip home but won't bore any longer! We had alot of down time during the week so we were able to do the tourist thing and see alot of sites around the area. Required alot of walking and although I did get out of breath at times, so did my coworker who is 14 years younger than me and smokes. I would say we were pretty even and maybe I even kicked her butt a bit in the walking area...at least I know I did at the airport. Kind of made me feel good that she tired before I did and I had to wait for her to catch up several times. My suitcases were also really heavy and the one didn't have wheels but I had no problem (or at least no more than anyone else would have) carrying it. I get discouraged alot about where I am in my recovery with my aches and pains but bottom line is, I've come a long way from those first weeks after surgery and this trip helped to show me how far I have come.... I'm glad to see that it looks like it has been a relatively quiet week on the board and hope all are doing well......sorry for the novel!!!

Thanks for all the well wishes!! I am going to miss chat this week! I'm starting to get a damn cough now...thinking maybe its just allergies. I am also feeling pain in my right breastbone...where I normally feel uncomfortable. I actually think that the numbness is going away and that is why I am starting to feel slight pain. Not even sure if you would call it pain...more like soreness...like the feeling you get when you cough alot and it hurts to cough cos you pulled a muscle or something. Since it does feel "alive" and not as numb anymore...I guess I won't complain. It would be nice to feel my chest again. That's not going to sound good no matter HOW I word it...but you know what I mean!! The cough was worrying me because I didn't want to get sick away from home and then I thought .. what am I thinking??? I'm going to miss this crack medical care they give me here??? I'm better off getting sick AWAY from here... I might have half a chance!! Anyway, will miss all of you....