Flowergirlie

I am sorry for your recent diagnosis. I am certain that was shocking news given it was intended as preventative/ precautionary maintenance. We are always here to be a support for whatever questions you may have or anytime you need us. Take Care...Flowergirlie

As time passes, feelings that existed before my dear hubby passed, remain. The one thing that drives me nuts though is that everyone says to me, you are so young, and you will find someone else to hold you and love you and that, quite frankly, is the last thing on my mind right now. Although I miss my hubby profusely, I do not want someone else. I do not feel desperate to fill this emptiness with someone else, I want to mourn the loss of my soulmate, and that is OK. I do not understand why other people want to project possibly their personal loneliness and discontedness onto me. I am not there and maybe will never be. My life focus has completely changed. I am going back to school for nursing. I am going to raise my kids, and take vacations and still do the things that we were all going to do together. People say it is OK to grieve however it seems right to you and then still put you into this grief box. Oh, she is grieving too much and should be doing better or she is not grieving enough and shouldn't be doing so well. But, everyday I get to live with me and I am managing, and we are going to be alright. I like to remind my family and friends that just because I can hold a conversation and function, does NOT mean that I am not suffering DEEPLY, and DOES NOT mean I want or NEED someone else. I am OK but it still hurts and it is going to and every 'regular old thing' I do is like doing it for the first time because he is not right next to me just offering me that extra security with his presence. I will always love him and miss him so much but I do not feel as though I can not go on and do what I am supposed to do...and to get there does not mean I HAVE to have a new person, is that so hard to accept, even if I am so young? Thanks for reading my rant today. Flowergirlie

I get the warm tingley feeling all up and down my body. I know my hubby is still with us. I love signs...I am just now getting to the place where I can want them though...before it was too hard to think about. I hope for many, many more. Thanks for sharing. It always helps to not think I am the only one. Hugs...Flowergirlie

Denial is OK because it protects you and allows you to gradually accept your deep loss and grief. I always read/ hear about people who think they are magically going to get 'better' after losing someone so significant in their lives, but that is not the goal. We learn and grow as a result of our grief, which obviously is inspired by the loss of someone we are totally crazy about. It is alright to be sane and comforting to someone else when expressing the loss you have suffered and then freak out later by yourself or with someone else. OK< I am going to stop while I am hopefully ahead. Peace...Flowergirlie

That is terrific Sonia! I am glad you are doing positive things to express your respects for your dad. I hope your mum is feelign alright, overall. It is never easy...but we have to try each day again. Hugs...Flowergirlie

We smoked Marlboro Lights. I don't think it matters too much personally. I think they are all dirty rotten scoundrels for putting additives in them. I had a love affair with smoking and never wanted to hate them like I do now, but it took my hubby away and that wasn't worth all those years of smoking to me. It is always in hindsight I guess, but then again, would he have been taken by another means? I am off smoking for almost 9 months now. Saves a lot of money for sure and my kids love the fresh new momma but hate that pops is gone. Hugs...Flowergirlie

The two key symptoms, when it was too late already, were night sweats and fatigue, along with the 'normal' smokers couph...Please do yourself a favor, since stress can add to the progression of cancer, and check it out sooner than later. A simple blood test with a physical *can* indicate something is going wrong without being paranoid or a hypochondriac. It is good to be in tuned with what your body is telling you. I hope it is nothing. I say, better safe than sorry. My hubby really wished he had gone sooner but you can not go back for a do over unfortunately. Wishing you the best! Peace...Flowergirlie

I hope she begins to feel better. My hubby had a hard time with radiation as well. Radiation can knock the steam out of your engine so maybe she is just experiencing the fatigue, flu like factor that can accompany the treatment. Peace...Flowergirlie

Hugs to you (((Missy)))...it is OK to not go back to work...it is so important to grieve...and of course you miss your mom. I am sorry! It doesn't make it easier but nonetheless, this is all part of it. I hope tomorrow is a little easier. Hugs...Flowergirlie

The one thing I regret not doing earlier is talking about feelings on death, which my hubby wanted to do and I sort of skirted until the last month because I didn't want to believe his death was inevitable. When we did start to discuss it though, we became even closer and had an amazing new depth to our connection that is indescribable. Say everything you need to say, kiss and hug and allow the peace of your blessing to go when they are ready, offering the reality that you will be alright and will always hold them close to your heart. There is nothing so painful as losing someone you love so much but it is true that we grow from our sufferings and are able to gently help others and give a new understanding of compassion to others from our experience. I don't know if that helps...grief is hard and it is not taught to us in our society but it is natural to pass on from this life and I wish it wasn't viewed as so bad here. Hugs...Flowergirlie

I have learned that there is no such thing as living life on your own terms...life has a way of taking the reigns when you do not expect. It may be that you have an extended period of time where the odds are in your favor, but no guarantees unfortunately. I love sociology...it is such an interesting study. There are many aspects of cancer that force an adjusted way of thinking. I hope your dad has great success with treatment and is able to maintain his energy level with little to no side effects. I am sorry you, dad and your family are going through this. It is so important to always listen to what your dad needs too. Peace...Flowergirlie

I have been quite forgetful since my hubby passed, along with many other significant changes. I must say that grief is necessary and it has to be experienced. It is so important to be concerned and aware of changes for your loved ones, and I do not know to what level of support he has, if he is allowing himself to feel the devastating emotions of losing your soulmate, if he is reading about others who experience grief, going to grief gatherings but I think they are all vital. I believe the anti-depressants mask the intense emotions and emptiness that has to be allowed and felt. Sorry if that seems harsh. Maybe a phone call to say you are there no matter what, gentle suggestions of your supportiveness...even sharing with him how you feel about the loss of your sister can be helpful. I can give reading tips if you would like too...??? Many warm hugs...Flowergirlie

Hi Nova, I do hope he is continuing to feel better. My hubby did experience these feelings as well. It was after he had stopped chemo treatment for a couple of months and was feeling alright and then he just didn't feel too good suddenly. Maybe he needs his sodium level checked? How does Harry feel about his treatment? It really does take a toll on ones self, mind and body. Have you discussed what the best next step for you and Harry is? Maybe he needs to continue on a break from treatments until he recoups a little. My intentions are good and I send you and Harry wishes for comfort and peace during this most difficult time. Hugs...Flowergirlie

I think it is always the initial intent to try to cure and how each individual responds is the unpredictable part. My understanding is the first line of treatment is the best chance for cure. Obviously you are dealing with mets to the brain...are there any additional met sites? I am sorry you are going through this. If you would like, you can share more details so we have a better picture of your circumstances...I am here via PM as well if you have any more questions or need my support. There are many things to be aware of during WBR. Peace...Flowergirlie

Tanner...I am so sorry for everything you are going through and your experience with hospice so far. I remember how scared I was to have hospice even being a consideration and then when it became necessary, it gradually became helpful (during the five days they were involved). I would call and express your dissatisfaction with the care so far and the aggressiveness of the social workers. You might let them know that the team is coming on a little strong and it is causing undue stress. I know they offer some services that seemed way over the top to me and I declined respectfully since I was able to manage those things myself. I hope Karen stays very comfortable and peaceful. I am always here as a support if you want. Peace...Flowergirlie

Nice to have a random success story! Thanks for being an encouragement to others. Cheers...Flowergirlie

I am sorry for the loss of your husband Mary. I wish for you comfort and peace. I am here for you if you need. Hugs...Flowergirlie

Hugs to you (((Lori))) I wish I could offer comforting words but just know that so many are thinking about you and hoping tomorrow is at least a little easier. Hugs...Flowergirlie

I am so sorry you are feeling so full of sorrow. It is not easy to lose someone you love so much and there is nothing consoling short of having that someone back. To feel sorrow is to allow yourself the opportunity to heal and to grow. It is so important to feel what needs to be felt. It sucks and is horrible but necessary. I think it is terrific that you are enjoying things you used to enjoy with your mom. Being able to reflect on the positive memories will help along the grief path and always keep her close. I too would trade most everything to have my hubby back...if only it were that easy. Peace and comfort and gentle hugs to you tonight. Flowergirlie

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Sometimes life is so bittersweet...and death comes at a time that does not suit our wants or plans. I do hope for you to have comfort during this most difficult time. Hugs...Flowergirlie

I just wanted to send you a great big hug and tell you I am thinking about you. I do hope the brain met will be savagely destroyed, but not hurting anything else of course. Hugs to you and your mom...Flowergirlie

Side effects can vary tremendously. My hubby had virtually no effects in the beginning and had high energy level, a lot of it was probably nervous, anxious energy. The side effects gradually got worse with the low blood sodium, anemia, nausea, vomiting, extreme fatigue, weight loss/ loss of appetite (my hubby did not lose his hair though). Some people seem to fare so well and others not so well. I do hope that your mum has an easier time of it but all of these are possibilities to be aware of. Please give your mum a big hug and love her up everyday. Hugs...Flowergirlie

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I can not imagine what you must be going through with your brother now being diagnosed. It seems to much to handle, I am sure. I was just wondering if anything had changed with your brothers situation since you posted this. Small Cell is certainly nothing to play games with. Please let us know what the status is. I will be more than willing to be available to you and give you any information I have. Hugs...Flowergirlie

My hubby also had wheezing and we were told that was a result of the cancer breaking up. One suggestion we were given was to lightly 'pound' the chest with a fist, sort of in a t-shape - shoulder to shoulder and then from the heart to the bottom of ribs to help the blood flow and assist in oxygen to lungs. It was something that my hubby said felt good and helped some. I am sorry you are going through this. I do hope your mum feels as well as to be expected and has great success with chemo. It can be difficult trying to sort what is normal and what to be alarmed by. I am here if you ever need to chat. Hugs...Flowergirlie

I think it is so nice that you have come here to be a support as well as to reflect with others who were dear to Leslie and likewise. I am new in the grief process myself. Welcome back. Peace...Flowergirlie