lewellen9581

I had my baby!!! A little boy, he was born Tuesday morning at 10:24 am CST. It was the middle od the night here in Japan though. He is absolutely adorable and perfect in every way. It has been a very rough pregnancy to say the least, and now it all makes sense. I miss my Dad so much still, but I now have a new angel to love. I am truly happy for the first time in months. I havent cried since the birth, and I feel so happy and ok with things now. I just wanted to share. I know there isnt much good news coming through here.

I havent posted a new thread since everything happened. And you all may not remebr me, I was only a member for a few weeks. My Daddy passed away Dec. 27th. I had came back to Japan for Christmas and he had a stroke while I was home. Things got really bad Christmas Eve and all of hte travel agencies here were closed. So when we finally got tickets an hour before takeoff. I called to let them know I was on my way, and he died about an hour later. It sucked, it jsut sucked, thats all I can say right now. It was almost another 24 hours (We had a looong layover in Tokyo) before I found out. We landed in Atlanta and I called from the baggage claim area. Not a great place to get the worse news ever. I just couldnt believe how the world was still switling and bustling around me. I wanted everyone to stop. So, after getting a rental we drove about halfway home and decided to stop for the night, we were exhausted. Th enext morning we drove on home, and went straight to the funeral home to make arrangements. His best friend read the eulogy and he did the best job possible. My 6 year old son had a very hard time. He still has his days. My now 3 year old thinks Papaw is still at the 'doctors' I wish he would remember something besides that, but right now that is his only memory. Tomorrow is his birthday and he would be 50. Sorry I havent posted in a while, I have tried to keep up with everyone though. I know I am in major denial, being so far from home it doesnt seem I have to deal with it here. I have gotten out hte cards from the funeral home 3 times to write out Thank Yous and I just cant do it. I am also pregnant right now, and due any day, so hopefully when baby is born, horomones will get back on track, and everything will get better. Thank you all for your advice and support during his illness.

I dont think you are being selfish at all. Ultimately, if he is able, it is his decision. You being the one person that loves him more than anyone else. should support him and stand-by him. There are far to many people who I know that pushed their relatives to fight as hard as they could until the very end, and then regretted it. With Daddy I always told him to only do what he wanted to do, dont ever take a pill or a needle for me. He did get mad when I called the ONC one night he had a high fever, but felt fine. So after going to the ER at midnight to have his bloodcount done he told me that he didnt want to go , but he knew I would keep nagging until he did What can I say, I wanted the best for him! Now, after he had the stroke, it was all on me. And I DECIDED that if he couldnt enjoy life, I didnt want him here. He hated hospitals, of course, who doesnt? They did offer to continue treatments, but at that point it was out of my hands and his quality of life was more important. I am sorry the nurse was being a hag, I think some nurses need more training in compassion, apparently everyone isnt born with it. My Daddys onc nurse was very unfriendly and unhelpful to put it nicely. I wish you well, and I am deeply sorry you are having to go through this with your DH.

Does he have insurance to cover his meds? If not, go to www.needymeds.com. almost every drug my Daddy was on was on there, it even paid for his Duragesic patches that were lmost $3000 a month!!

I was in your shoes just a couple months ago. My husband is in the Air Force and we are stationed in Japan. I have 2 boys ages 6 and 2 and I was 6 months pregnant at the time. I dropped everything and the boys and I went home for eight weeks to stay. It was hard no doubt. I missed my husband, and we were living out of a suitcase for 2 months, sleeping on a different family members floor each night. We came back to Japan for Christmas, and Daddy passed away December 27th. Believe me, it can happen anytime, he had been having some of his best days since diagnosis. I wouldnt take anything in the world for the time me and the boys were able to spend with Daddy. I truly believe if you do go, your Dad will be more willing to talk to you about some of these tough topics. I knew that Dadd realized what condition he was in, and he was OK with it, he wasnt scared. He told me and the kids several times how much he loved us, and even gave me some parenting advice, LOL. Also, if your children havent seen him recently, you might also want to think about what memories they may have of him. I am glad the funeral isnt something the kids really remember, it was the weeks before. Sorry to ramble, but I was just so recently in your shoes. I wasnt there when my Daddy died, and regret that and it haunts me that I wasnt there to hold his hand. But at the same time, I know I did him much more good the weeks before, than being there the last few minutes. If finances are making your decision harder. I know it was for us (3 roundtrip tickets from Japan=$$$$) try talking to your family Support. I know the AF offers interest free loans for emergencies. Also, there is a website www.unmetneeds.com set up for Military families. they have grants available for anything and everything. A friend of mine whose Dad passed about a year ago from LC was able to get a grant from them to pay for her and her children a rental car. It is def worth a shot!

Daddy passed away Dec 27th when I was on my way to the airport. We landed in the US at 3 pm on the 28th, when I called they told me the news. I had called on my way out the door to tell them I was on my way, but I hadnt even made it to the airport when he took his final breath. We had a very rough flight into Tokyo, so I guess he was looking over me then.

I know this is a little off topic, but I had to put this on here. Right now everything in life seems so unfair. My Dad is losing his very short battle with Cancer, and it hurts me so much to see him wanting to give up, but not sure if he should. Also, it seems so unfair that my fids are about to lose their only Grandpa. My Father in law passed away about 3 years ago. My Daddy is the only person, aside from my kids that I talk to EVERY day. With my husband being in the military, he an be gone adn unable to talk for weeks at a time, but I always talk to Daddy every morning and every night. I dont have that now, and it hurts me so much. But, what I do want to say is what I am THANKFUL for: I am thankful that I have 2 healthy kids, Cancer is a terrible thing, and I cannot imagine havng to see my babies fight for their lives the way Daddy has, and I know it happens every day. I am thankful that my children have both parents here that are healthy and able to provide a loving home for them. I am thankful that although my Daddy is sick, that I am grown now, and able to care for myself. I wish I could keep him forever, but I know I will survive without him, and he knows that too. I am thankful that my Husband was here for Christmas this year. I am thankful for the past 24 years I have been able to spend with Daddy. 24 Birthdays, 24 Christmas's, and 24 Fathers Days. I am also very greatful that he seems at Peace with everything going on. As horrible as this past few months have seemed to be, I know that it could be so much worse. I just needed to remind myself that I do have many things to be greatful for. This has helped me, I hope it helps you too.

Daddy hasnt gotten any better since the stroke Sunday, he is a little more aware of his surroundings most of the time, but still very confused at times too. He isnt eating or drinkng but maybe 8z of fluid a day. He also isnt taking any of his meds. He has severe seizures if he dosnt take his dilantin, sometimes if he only misses one dose he will have one. He hasnt had one yet though. We are due to fly out of Japan Wednesday night and wil be back at Daddys house Thursday night if all goes well. I hope he can hang on until I get there, only a few more days.

Yes he has, however that takes time, and as many of you know time is a precious thing. I just thought I would offer some help to those who need help while going through the application proceses.

My dad has no isnurance and is, of course, now unemployed. I have came across several different resources for help payng various bills. Please anyone let me know if they need the info.

Just to update everyone, Daddy had been doing remarkably well. He had driven twice this week, and went to his favorite steakhouse for a nice juicy ribeye and baked potatoe. The chemo is going fantastic, no side effects except a little acheness and soreness on the second day after. Well, I guess all good things muct come to an end. He had a stroke last night and is in the ICU. He also has RSV and Pneumonia. He is in ICU and I am here in Japan. The nurses are being great and are letting me call every few hours to check his status, and they have held the phone for me to talk to him a couple of times. Just wanted to update.

Again, I wasnt able to talk to the Doc, just the nurse. SHE says it isnt considered terminal unless it isnt responding to treatment. So how do I get them to write it as terminal so he can get approved. I got a letter today and it details his diagnosis, but the word terminal wasnt there. According to SSI it HAD to say terminal!

At what point is it considered terminal cancer? I am trying to get Daddy on SSI disability (he hasnt worked since Sept) and state insurance since he was sel-employed and has none. THe general time for both of these is 6 months, I called and told them the situatio, and was told that if the DR determines it is terminal cancer , he can be approved within 30 days. Of course, I dont want to her that he has terminal cancer, because it just sounds plain ugly! But, if thats what he has I need to know so we can get him some health coverage ASAP!! Thanks

Thanks so much for your replies. Daddy is switching to another clini that will be easier for him to get to. It is the same DR just a different office. The nurs there is super great! She talked to me forever tody and kept praising me for doing a good job. The other nurse acted as if I was more of a bother than anything else. She was extremly unfriendly. I have called severaly times in the past few days trying to get questions answered and other things in order. My family is Military, and we are currently stationed in Japan. My two kids and I have been home with my Daddy since October 24th. We are going back to Japan next week to stay until January 5th. Some of my mothers family (they are divorced) is giving me a hard time about "abandoning" my Daddy right now. His brother and a few frinds havebeenlined up to help and ARE coming back. I just wish ppl would inderstand the emotional and physical toll this has taken on me, and instead of passing judgement offer to help. I am 6 months pregnant with a 2 and 6 year old. Most days Daddy feels too bad to have the kids around, and the possibility of getting a germ from one of them frightens me because I know he will have to miss chemo then. I havent spent any time with my children since I have been hre, and I miss my husband. I need someone to lean on for a few weeks. Sorry I didn mean for this to turn into a rant, but I really got my feelings hurt today. I am trying 24 hours a day to do everything I can to get him better, and keep him comfortable.

First of all I would like to say this site is awesome. Although I so wish there wasnt a need for this site and that me or you had never had to look for it. My Daddy was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer with METS to the bones and Liver. I am having a hard time getting questions answered from his Oncologist, which is annoying me. We have had 1 appt with him, and Daddy was in soooo much pain that day I couldnt hang out to ask questions. Now when I call I have to talk to the Nurse. I dont like this because I have so many questions. I am going to ask a few of my questions on here. #1~His bone cancer is in both hips and lower spine. He is in pain most of the time, and at the very best, he is just uncomfortable to lay or sit, and his legs are too weak to stand. He is also unable to bend, so he cant dress himself. I called and asked the nurse about the possibility of doing radiation to help with the pain. The doc said, with as many spots as he has, he is afraid the radiation would be at toxic levels. I think they should attempt maybe just one spot at a time? #2~Does the PET scan check for Brain Cancer? If not, should I request one? I think so, but if he is having no symptoms, I sont want to give him anything else to worry about.