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Snowflake

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Everything posted by Snowflake

  1. Sarah, I had a recurrence after eleven years just three years ago. I just shook it off and continued my usual life... Yeah, right. I curled up in a ball and cried for a week straight. Then, I found out not only was there a tumor behind my clavicle, but that it had a friend in my brain. Ugh. I am STILL fighting depression/anxiety over this new detour. I can function, I am taking happy pills to drag myself out of a sobbing mass. On the bright side, stage IV is immediate approval for Disability, there's just that first six months of no income. I can nap any time I want to, no job to go off to. I'm in the middle of the mitten and my hospital is affiliated with U of M. I had genetic testing and have the ALK mutation so have been on Xalkori since radiation ended. I am glad my trusted oncologist has this resource and am happy to share that there have been many improvements since my last trip in 2003. Hang in there, big girls DO cry, but they also take care of business and get extra help when needed. Better Living through chemistry. Good luck, Becky
  2. 100% of the "me" in this whole world survived 5 years with a projected expectancy of 12%. A few years ago, I took a college statistics class....sooooo of many ways to report the same information to put a different spin on the info. Seriously. Skip the numbers, they cause indigestion. [emoji41] P.S. Currently 14 years out from initial diagnosis, 3 years from recurrence. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
  3. Hi, Brandon, I was diagnosed IIIA in 2003 at 34. Lifelong nonsmoker. I had surgery, then radiation and two months of Iressa followed by years of monitoring. After five years, I saw the oncologist once a year. At the time I was diagnosed, chemo was not standard after (or before) surgery. Eleven years later at my annual checkup, the oncologist touched a spot on my neck that hurt and he was concerned. Long story short, it was back. I've been restaged to IV. I've had surgery to clean out what could be removed in my neck, and gamma knife to treat a brain tumor. I've also gone through another round of radiation and chemo. My oncologist sent out for genetic testing and I'm a happy mutant. I am currently taking Xalkori and holding. Biggest thing to learn is when it is too big to handle alone and talk to your doctor about anti-anxiety medication and/or antidepressants. Get the feeling of panic controlled so your brain can process the information you are being given. Hang in there, you're still lucky, hold on to that. Cowboy up.
  4. I have an introduction, but all things considered, it's probably easier to just submit a new one. 2014 was one really crappy year. My annual testing, after eleven years cancer-free, was at the end of April. May 5, I am in with my oncologist and he is explaining to me that it's been long enough that I can just follow up with my GP. As he's talking, he's doing the neck lymph node touchy-feely exam...and hits a tender spot at my collar bone. He says he doesn't like that, wants tests. He looks concerned, I tell him he sees cancer everywhere, that's his job, but I'm not going to worry until there's something to worry about. I am in for a CT on Thursday and then consult with him on Friday. Need a better look at this swollen lymphynode, PET on Tuesday, poke biopsy on Wednesday. Surgical biopsy on Monday and the unmistakable sound of manure hitting the oscillator. It's a tumor with an extremely slow growth rate - in fact, he thinks it came from the original tumor. The entire tumor cannot be removed by the ENT that performed the procedure, it's touching the carotid and the jugular vein. Gee, maybe we should check out my head... June 3, meeting with radiation oncologist to see if I am a candidate for radiation of the unclear margins. During this meeting, he's not as concerned with that as the lesion in my brain. June 6 Gamma Knife, radiation and chemo start June 10. Many trials and tribulations, but still kicking. Now stage IV, but like age and weight, it's just a number. My oncologist tells me I'm not normal - I've never tried to be. He says a recurrence after eleven years is unheard of. Yep. Blowing up stats left and right! On the bright side, I no longer have to go to work any more and am enjoying the fur kids! The plan is to beat this monster back under the bed with my Louisville Slugger. Snowflake
  5. Eric, unlike many who are on "city" utilities, my gas comes from a large propane tank ("pig") in the yard. Filling the whole thing is about $1K and lasts about a whole season. We use propane for heat and for cooking (gas stove). Our electric bill is roughly $125/month. We have central air in the summer and an electric heater we run in our bathroom that is at the end of the heating ducts and beyond frozen during the winter. Bad thing about using a tank is that the fuel has to be paid for on delivery, where the mainline can be "fudged" by paying partial bills or late payments when the paycheck doesn't quite cover the full amount. The least amount I can add to the tank is $500. Starting to seriously think about moving out of state with the rough economy and costs associated with hot/humid summers and rough winters.
  6. If you've been following Lily's posts, you'll know that she just spent Thanksgiving with Jacci and her family.
  7. Glad I could make you laugh, Judy. Life is hard for the sensitive souls, good thing our core is steel!
  8. My screw ups for the day, so far (and this is from 10:00 - 12:00, just two hours). I can't take a phone message and milk every bit of information out of a potential client. I got a name, a phone number, opposing party name, did a conflict check and got the "whole story" from the caller, but I did not quiz him on where he had heard of the firm. It would have been hard, though, since her cheap phone hung up on him when I tried to "un-hold" him... Called back and had to leave a message on his voice mail, haven't heard back yet. I also do not know how to make double-side copies (total BS, I'm a pro, have even worked in a job where I formatted reports, bindered them and sent them on to the clients in record time) - but I was given a tutorial while a client was waiting on her. Seriously, and she billed the client for that time, as well! I wonder why she hired me if I'm not competent to even make copies... If I could ONLY find something else, ANYTHING else. Cripes, it can't pay any less!
  9. Welcome to Redneckville! First day of firearms deer season and the woods are full of volleys and echos. The drive to work should be an experience. Hoping the first few shots scared the critters into hiding instead of flushing them out into the road... I don't wanna go to work. I'm tired. The only saving grace is that I know the boss won't be in until around 10, so I have a little bit of time to do the job without the constant nagging. Amazing how much I can do when she's not around to ride my butt... Okay, Judy, step in here any time now, I've opened, you just need to pop in and have your say!
  10. Very much a Monday - I posted something today at lunch and then blasted it to the stratosphere. Bummer! Off to bed, tomorrow is another day to screw up in. I'm sure that there will be problems with so very many things I just don't comprehend - like how to open an envelope, staple a page, and file paperwork standing upright in the folders so the tabs cannot be read. (Her demand, since I can't be trusted to file appropriately, I am punished with a handicap of not being able to read the files. If there were ANYTHING else available, I'd tell her where to go in a heart beat!) Whatever. Another day, another dollar. Later, taters!
  11. Houghton Lake is about a half hour from me. Seriously. If not for the lack of income, losing the job would be great. My house is a disaster area, hubby is working 12-hour days and weekends are spent sleeping and relaxing. Home-cooked meals are a dim memory. Butchering really isn't that bad, but the roadkill one really did make me feel weak in the knees. Less than three hours and it's Monday. Ack.
  12. In less than five hours it will be Monday again. Argh. Looks like you didn't end up blown to Kingdom Come, MI Judy. Where does the hubster go that's "north"? I'm about middle of the mitten on the sun rise side.... Took hubby and did some shopping yesterday. Kohl's was having a sale (aren't they always?) AND I had a 30% off card, as well as another card for $10 off - I saved more than I spent! Hubby has been wanting a specific coffee maker and the stars had all aligned, so I picked it up, along with some flannel shirts for my father-in-law for Christmas (I drew his name in the family drawing - ~$15 for shirts originally marked at $46 isn't too bad). I think I may be coming down with something, besides Monday Aversion. Woke up to a really dry mouth and throat this morning and have felt kinda foggy. Secondary symptom would be a digestive system that feels like a heavy artillery shelling - loud enough to have the dog looking at me strangely. Maybe there's a sick day or two in my future, wa-hoo! Add to that the positive side effect of weight loss and it'll be a big mark in the win column! Oh Lily, I never would eat venison when my dad made it. Couldn't get past the Bambi vision...I had to TASTE it (house rules) but I didn't have to eat it if I didn't want it. I had to give the hubby the same consideration when he made it a point to cook it for me, after telling me that he cleans it more thoroughly than most. He knows what he's talking about. As for being able to choke down some beef, I have a friend who grew up on a dairy farm. I've seen those beautiful little calves and the mommies have such sweet and kind eyes... I love steak, but I know where it comes from, as well. Piggies are cute, too. I haven't really felt the desire to be the one who shoots the deer and has to field dress it (hubby said he'd do that if I were to go with him and get one), but I help butcher it when he brings in the quarters. It keeps the grocery bill lower, and the meat is actually healthier than beef and pork - go figure! ...and yes, it surprised him that I didn't get all squimish over the venison as we were butchering it, since he thinks I'm prissy...LOL I sooooo don't want to go to work tomorrow..or Tuesday...or Wednesday... We'll see what the rest of the month brings, I may be out of a job by then, as she can't run her business in the building she is in after the end of the month and hasn't looked for any place to move. Seriously.
  13. Yay! I did it! I figured out how to merge! (Was so afraid to delete both topics, but it worked!) Almost lunch time here, hustling to finish off the morning. Take care!
  14. Missed this yesterday, having a job makes my free time almost non-existent, between work and homelife, what's left? Nope, gotta sleep in that little window! What do hunters do after the deer is dead and it's hanging? They skin it, do a better job of cleaning out the organs (when hunting, they are "field dressed" but not so much on a public road), and quarter it to butcher. At our house, everything gets cut off the bone and the back straps ("tenderloins") are butterflied. Steaks are cut and small pieces are set aside to ground into Bambi burgers after being cut with pork. Venison is pretty lean, pork is added so there's some fat to cook with. We then buy some stock in Zip-loc and portion and freeze the whole lot. Hours of work. I prefer the hunted deer to the road kill, too much trauma in the road kill and it smells so much worse. Larry had two deer on his hunting license last year and one that was downed by a Ram truck. The one he hit was sooooo horrible to butcher and not all of the meat is good, since wherever the impact was damages the muscle/tissue - and the blood pools in the organs and mixes with whatever may have been broke up in the collision. It's pretty yucky (I type this as I'm working toward lunch, ew). Help me, my neck gets redder every day!
  15. I made a bunch of them and took them to RY's house party, years ago. Glued them on brooch pins, with a rhinestone in the center. Didn't cost a whole lot to do, but did involve burning my fingers with the hot glue gun. Glue and I just do not get along, I usually end up Super Gluing my fingers to the tube, it's embarrassing.
  16. Officially, I am beyond halfway through the week, a definite plus. I have also found out that the boss will be out of the office on Friday, another big AMEN moment! She will, however, be in early so I have to make sure I'm in on time to unlock and turn on the lights.. Looking forward to another weekend of deer season prep. Last weekend, we headed out to the pumpkin fields and picked up some pumpkins for bait. The guys and I loaded them into the back of the pick-up and hauled 'em out by the deer blind where we began chucking them in all different directions and smashing quite a few of them. The boy noted with the first one to be smashed, "YUCK! That smells like a fart!" After that, we took some time to sight in the rifles. Hoping hubby can fill the tags he has purchased and take some of the strain off the grocery budget. (I swear, I had to pick up a few things last night and thought that many things had increased a buck or two - like laundry detergent!) Good ol' redneck fun. Yep, spoke with Judy last night on my way home from work, a dark and rainy night (and no, Eddie Rabbitt, I do NOT love a rainy night). Does anyone else remember when the paint used on roads actually reflected and could be seen on a rainy night? Seriously. Back to the salt mines, gotta earn that daily dollar!
  17. Short nights lead to long days...went to bed late, woke up at 4:00 by a dog giving herself a bath, then again at 5:00 by same dog losing her dinner under my bed. I don't have to actually get up until 6:00, but all those breaks in sleep lead to a very grumpy girl. Oh, and so does this wonderful job. Seriously. BUT, it is no longer Monday and after today the calendar just has "WTF". My sentiments, exactly! Cool and rainy here, I'm just freezing at my desk, wondering if I should find my snow boots to keep my tootsies warm. Bud, hope that cold is just a runny nose that ends soon. Hate the full-fledged thing with all the symptoms. ....and let Judy enjoy getting all of her errands done before hubby has to haul butt back home and get his hip out of commission! TTFN!
  18. They may be on to something! Think in the political vein of doublespeak - if only those never-smoking women would just QUIT SMOKING, LC would go away forever... Vote for me!
  19. It's Monday. It's late (early) and I need to head to bed. Figured I could get in here and open up the air while the rest of the world is sleeping...nothing like a light autumn breeze to aid in the slumber. Ahhh, the tyranny of boss-who's-too-big-for-her-britches in an employers' economy. Yep, that's all I can say about getting paid minimum wage for a job I have decades of experience in. Nicest thing I can say, since I haven't been PAID yet and should have been. Minimum wage and she still can't remember to sign a pay check that is less than her mileage reimbursement for the month. Nice. ...and now, to bed. The day is short when eight hours are spent working and four are spent searching for another job. Hell, can't find anything that pays less, so why not? The bright side? Loving hubby and son. Always the silver lining and big reasons to get up in the morning. Good night, I'll be back up in less than six short hours!
  20. Dinosaurs are in the House, visiting with Mr. Ed and Roseanne, who are Married, With Children.
  21. Judy, Judy, Judy.... I dropped you a note. Never did sleep last night. Hubby got home from work, said it was supposed to rain in the afternoon and had a bucket of minnows in the truck. We decided to head out fishing, before the rain hit. On the way to the fishing hole, it started to rain. Yep, sure did. He was going to call it, but I told him that the fish and the minnows didn't mind being wet and we could use an umbrella... Off we went! How'd we do? LOL - well..... It's a pond that's been stocked and had fish kills over the past few years. We were surprised last week to find that there are once again fish in the pond, after a few bumper years of tadpoles and at least one very happy pair of bluegills. There was a mama on her nest under the dock and a bazillion fingerlings. They were so aggressive on the day we had worms, that they were hanging off the worms to at least two feet out of the water (too small for the hook). So today, I caught two fish, and hubby caught one - larger than the two I caught. These little guys actually were hooked, but if cleaned would not have made a fish stick... BUT, it was miserable, cold, wet...and fun. It's a free fishing weekend in the state, so I can fish without a license (hubby has one, we went last weekend and I watched him and the boy fish). With a bucket of minnows, looks like I need to get at least a nap in before he hauls me out again. He's been baiting my hook and taking fish off my line - shhh, don't tell him my daddy always made me do that stuff myself, I like this princess thing... Play nice, Becky
  22. Annette, Bud isn't international, and you'd have to ship as "freight" because the kid is over 75 pounds (or just send him in pieces - win-win?). Might be able to get him on a plane from big city to big city for a sale price, especially going to someplace HOT in the summer... Scorcher here today. Ventured out this morning and won't be doing any more venturing out of this cool cave that's longer than chaining the dog out! WOW! And tomorrow is supposed to be worse...gotta love hot and humid - NOT! After a night of just four hours of sleep, I think I may be headed for a nap. A/C is blowing, sounds like a plan... Stay cool!
  23. Well, I am not the least bit tired and it is now tomorrow, so I'll go from reading Sunday's air to opening Monday's... Sweltering here. Managed to get sunburned, and I spent the day chasing bits of shade - and mainly the air-conditioned coolness of indoors. Must have been my sunny disposition (yeah, right) that did it... Wow, Annette. Just, WOW. How old is the kid, again? Obviously old enough to know better... Hey, I have an idea - if you can't have the take him away, have them take YOU away. Yeah, that's the ticket. He can't stay alone, so some other arrangement will have to be made, you'll have a relaxing stay in a padded room with nice people to talk to - courtesy of your mental health rider on your insurance. Yep, win-win! Judy, Judy, Judy. Gee, could it be stress that's giving you the Swiss cheese memory? Nah, you ain't got no stinkin' stress... Wishing you all the best tomorrow. Northern Judy, sheesh! The C-PAP is definitely better than the snoring, but I found that a separate room really helped me sleep better when I had a spouse with that issue. Of course, he also had restless legs and kicked all night and I'm kinda sensitive to movement....woke up by tremors when living in Alaska, can't sleep in a moving vehicle, etc. I feel your pain. -oh, and the need to sleep? Depression. If it gets worse, talk to your doctor. Seriously. Dealing with a brand of that myself. Could be why I'm still up... Thursday night, I gave in and took an Ambien and a Xanax and headed for bed. According to my husband, when he got home, I was dead to the world. Funny thing is, his mother had called me half an hour prior to his getting home and I had texted him a message. Somehow. Thank goodness I'm not prone to sleepwalking, I could have been down to your house by the time I woke up (4:30 p.m.). I don't remember waking up when he came home, but having mowed the day before, DID wake up choking, horribly sometime after noon. One of these days, I may drown in my sleep, I swear. I walked out to the couch so I could sit up and relax, and when the coughing subsided, laid down and went back to sleep. ...and when I finally woke up, I started piecing together what I did in my sleep. I had knowledge of family plans that I hadn't heard from hubby and didn't know about when I went to bed, it was crazy! Checked my phone history to see whom I had talked to. Good thing I didn't agree to new windows or something... I think I need some chocolate, gotta ransack the kitchen and see what I can find. It's going to be another long night/short morning... Take care!
  24. Judy, WHERE are you in the hospital? Still in New England, back home, or somewhere in between?
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