What a difference one week can make.
Andy had his 3 month check up with the oncologist last Monday, the pet scan results were good, cancer hasn't spread or grown.
Three days later he is in the hospital fighting for his life.
I had thought that I had prepared for this. I have read everything I could on lung cancer and death and dying, but again and again I find myself at a total loss during these last 5 days.
I really want to share with you some of the things I have learned this week:
1. In the movies when you call an ambulance...you get an ambulance. In real life when you call an ambulance you get 12 volunteer fireman (all in their own vehicles with flashing lights) 1 fire truck and lastly an ambulance. Your house will be a zoo with 15 people in and out all asking you the same questions over and over. (I do live in a small town... so I am not sure how it would be in a bigger city.)
2. Don't count on the many talks you have had with your spouse about how they don't want to be on a ventilator, get it in writing with witnesses.
3. (I am still in shock about this one) Don't assume that your spouse can die in the hospital. Turns out Andy's breathing trouble was caused by pnuemonia and that also caused a deadly blood infection. I was told Friday that he could have anywhere from 2 hours to 1 week to live. Monday March 31st the hospital tells me that because there is no treatment that the hospital can give him that will make him better my insurance will no longer pay for the hospital stay and he needs to be discharged into hospice. I needed to choose right away. Later that day when I called my insurance company they were angry that I was being told this. They said I have 100% coverage with no limit on how long he is there. They suggested that the hospital wants him out because he is dying and he will be a death statistic to them. It just seems wrong to move someone when death is imminent.
I'll post more later. My daughter left her lap top here and I am glad she did. I am too tired to check for spelling errors but I know you all won't mind.