fillise

Gosh yes--Rich! Miss him so much. Susan

Ernie, Don and Ned. These were the men I thought of as the LCSC lions. They were always here. They were all very proactive and informed in fighting their disease. They NEVER hesititated to share their knowledge and experiences with the rest of us. There are so many who I have come to love on this board, but these three men seemed to me like an anchor. They were steady and unmoving. They never seemed to let a setback throw them. Each of their timelines contained volumes of useful information; what they learned they shared with all of us. Now they have each left us. Ernie in the spring of 2009, Don in the winter of 2009 and Ned just last Friday. The roar of our lions has ceased, but their spirits live on. Thank you Ernie, thank you Don, and thank you Ned. Love, Susan

((((Kasey & Fred)))) Love you, Susan

In addition to Ned's great response, I also want to emphasize that the prognosis is meaningless on an individual basis. My mom was diagnosed with stage IV lunchg cancer with mets to her spine. I looked at the stats and began preparing myself to lose her within the year. She had other plans. She responded so well to the initial chemo and radiation that she was off all treatment for well over a year. Then she would do another round of chemo and radiation and get some more time off. most of that time she was feeling pretty good and was active. The cancer finally took it's toll, but it was 45 months later. I am grateful for the additional three years beyond what I expected. There is much in your Dad's story that sounds similar to hers so I hope you have that much time and a great deal more. Susan

Rebncor, It would be helpful to have someone to talk with who is not a family member. Someone who is not relying on you to be strong. Do you have a friend or a paster or even a counselor? The primary caregiver has to manage not only the patient's fears, but her own and those of her family. It is hard to be that person. One thing I discovered with my mom was that I was afraid to talk with her for fear of upsetting her and she was afraid to talk with me for fear of upsetting me. But she really needed to talk about her fears and what she wanted to happen. Once we started talking to each other it was much better for both of us. I was better able to help her do the things she wanted to do and to say the things she wanted to say. She relaxed visably and becase less fearful when she felt free to talk about what she was afraid of. Susan

((((Lillian))))

Jean, I am watching my father go through the same thing. He is only three months in, but he lost his wife of almost 56 years. I didn't really think it was as hard for him as it apparently is until he told me is going to the cemetery every day or every other day so he can talk to her. It sounds like you got good advice from everyone. All I can offer is a hug. ((((Jean)))) Love you, Susan

Nicole, I am so sorry. It is so hard to let go and say goodbye, even when you know they are ready. From one griving daughter to another, I will keep you in my prayers. Let me know if you need to talk or just cry. Susan

Cathy, I'd like to wish you a belated welcome to our little corner of the internet. This is a great spot for support and information. Susan

Judy, At least the node was small and appears to be contained. I will continue my prayers for Dottie that thay got it all and she is cured. Susan

Hi Cody, I remember you mom. She was always quick to offer support and I miss her a lot on this board. I wish I could help you, but I don't have any of the articles you mentioned. Susan

Katy--Christmas cards are what is doing me in this season. The songs I can handle, but the cards reduce me to a puddle every time. Your idea about a definite time is good. Everyone expects you to be "over" it so quickly. Sheesh. Susan

Katy--Good for you! It was a stupid and insensitive question and you answered it very appropriately. Susan

((((Michelle))) I agree with others here. I don't think the tears are signs of weakness. You are still grieving. Please be gentle with yourself and let the tears come when they need to. The release is good. Susan

((((Jan)))) Thinking of you today, Susan

I'm so sorry. I understand how tender you still are and how much this must be hurting you. Your friends are in my prayers. You are too. Susan

I am in tears every time a get a Christmas card this year. Sometimes they mention mom and other times it is just a card, but every one of them sends a tear or two down my cheeks. Susan

Great to hear from you Dawn! I'm sorry it has been so rough. Isn't it just the way that good news is always accompanied by a new challenge (e.g. your car). I know you will have a good scan in Jan. but let us know so we can all celebrate with you. Susan

Jassen, I am so sorry you are in this situation with your mother. It is never easy, but she is so lucky to have you to make sure she does not suffer. I've been where you are and it is not a good place to be. You just have to know you are making the best decisions you can with the information you have. That is all you can do. I know it doesn't feel like it is enough, but for your mom it is everything. She knows you love her and want the best for her. Susan

Ginny, I'm so sorry. Sending prayers for him and his family. Susan

Jassen, I understand as I have been there. It's an increadibly diccucult position to be in. Your mother is lucky to have both you and your wife advocating and caring for her. Stick to your guns about making sure her wishes are honored. Check with hospice organizations in your area. Some will allow patients to be undergoing palliative treatment (e.g. treatment with the intent to lessen pain and/or improve the quality of life as opposed to curing the diease) while enrolled in hospice. It sure sounds like you and your wife could use the support provided by hospice. Susan

Heidi--you have my prayers! I hope it is NOT cancer and something that can be easily treated. Susan

Hi Creature, There are lots of us rabid cancer fighters here. We will help you in any way we can. Susan

Hi Indy, We can help provide better support if you will tell us a little but about yourself. There are lots of people here with extensive knowledge and experience with lung cancer so we are glad to help in any way we can. Susan

I am so sorry to read the news about your husband. I, like others, urge you to get hospice involved as quickly as possible. They help not just the patient, but the entire family. Susan