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Kirsty

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Everything posted by Kirsty

  1. Strange, isn't it? It's different and yet the same for all of us. I found the weeks leading up to the first anniversary much the worst - reliving it all day by day - yet on the actual anniversary I was OK.
  2. I'm sorry you are having a bad day today - but I'm perfectly sure that you did the right thing, for all of you including your mom.
  3. So sorry that your Mom is slipping away, but thankful to read that you are in caring hands now. I think you are right, that your Mom felt safe and able to let go - and the distress you described in your first post was very much about her - and you - not feeling safe. You will remember these last few hours with her with love, and you should remember them with pride too because you have done everything a daughter could possibly do to help her.
  4. onlychild - you are doing the best you can in an awful situation. If the Hospice can't or won't help you, can you engage another provider? Snoopyfn had the same problem: http://www.lchelp.org/l_community/viewtopic.php?t=31788
  5. We've been told that the side-effects of radiotherapy can take some weeks to pass off - and WBR is notorious for making people tired. The message seems to be not to try and push yourself through the fatigue - a bit of fresh air and change of scene every day is a good thing, but not to overdo it. I've found this helpful: http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/defau ... page=10273
  6. Leslie and Adrian - Same here - my father is going through a radiotherapy programme at the moment and eating is hard work. Puddings seem to go down better than savoury stuff - everything tastes of nothing much so the softer the texture the less hard work it is. Really really creamy milk puddings (lots of butter and sugar and cream and full cream milk with rice or semolina) or panacotta/creme brulee type desserts pack a lot of calories in for the volume. I think it's much easier to bump up the calorie content of sweet things without changing the taste or texture beyond recognition than it is for the savoury stuff. Even if your father hasn't had much of a sweet tooth up to now, he may be willing to try the puddings - pureed fruit with lots of cream but less sugar could be an alternative in that case. For savoury things - does he eat fish? As long as you get all the bones out before you cook it, white fish baked with breadcrumbs mixed with parsley, grated lemon rind, and melted butter might be worth trying. Although the calorie content by weight is less, the overall nutritional value of fish is very high. We have found that ginger beer/ale is good - also you might try lemon and ginger tea. I like the snack tray idea - going to give that one some more thought. Finally, check that he hasn't got thrush - that will affect his sense of taste too and could make swallowing painful - and also make sure he's not getting constipated, as that won't help either. Another good reason for keeping the fluids going in, even if nothing much else is. As I write, one other thought occurs to me. Particularly as he has been through a great deal in the last few weeks - and has gone through a series of losses which really matter to him - I just wonder whether he could be a bit depressed. Might be worth asking your oncologist about that? Hang on in there - it is really hard to stay on the encouraging rather than nagging side of the line - and try not to let it get to you if he still doesn't eat as much as you would like in spite of all your efforts.
  7. Hi Aubree Yes that's a feeling we all remember - the instant transition from "it's OK" to "it's very definitely not OK". It does pass, but it takes time to get used to a new world. One thing I've found when keeping in touch long distance is that it's so easy to end up spending far too much time talking about the cancer and what it may or may not be doing this week, and not talking enough about living. However old your father is, and however much the disease is affecting him at the moment, there are options and choices. What he needs to know is that his family will support whatever decisions he makes. Don't for a minute think that just because you are a long way off, or because you are not in the health business, that your support and love aren't important to him. They are, and "being strong and loving" will be enough.
  8. From what I've heard, omeprazole and Tarceva is OK, but ibuprofen (or any similar painkiller) and Tarceva is a definite no-no. Don't know anything about either with Avastin, though (not much used over here).
  9. I agree with Ned - and would just add that there is a fine line between encouraging your Dad to continue "as normal" and pressurizing him to do so. The whole point about this situation is that once this diagnosis is on the table, nothing is "normal", ever again, which takes some getting used to. With this particular treatment, he is going to get tired; he is going to need to take it easy; he is very likely to have to stop teaching for a bit to pick up his strength again. What will not be helpful to him is if he keeps going for longer than he really should because he feels he must, and by tiring himself out he might be putting himself at greater risk of some other complication - an infection for example - which could have an even greater impact on his quality of life.
  10. Definitely get advice from the nutritionist - there are all sorts of supplements that can be tried, with high calorie content - maximum return for minimum effort. Great to hear that he is still teaching - that attitude will count for a lot. Don't be surprised though if the treatment catches up with him a bit - radiation therapy does have a tendency to make you tired eventually, unfortunately, but this should get better in time.
  11. Sadly, I'm afraid the doctor is right to say that your father shouldn't drive. The problem is that his reaction times will be affected by the disease and/or the treatment, and so it just isn't safe. It is understandable that this is so upsetting - for all of you - but your father's doctor doesn't have an alternative. Try to think of how your father would feel if he carried on driving and had an accident that injured someone else because he saw something too late to react. Your father getting a second opinion won't make any difference to this one, although another doctor might have a different view about treatment. However, if your father trusts his present doctor it may be better to leave things be. It is so difficult to accept that he may die soon, but insisting on second opinions could cause him distress and gain him very little in terms of quality or duration of life in return. What is really important is that you all get the best out of the time that you do have, however long or short it may be.
  12. Flowergirlie - your post has made me so angry with that nurse that I have stopped lurking and signed on, just to send you encouragement and support. As everyone else has said, the priority must be to get your husband pain free. This should be possible, and I would keep on at the oncologist until it's done. Then you can all think clearly and decide what to do next. And yes, it is down to your husband, and you on his behalf if necessary, to make the decisions about whether to continue or not with treatment. Don't let insensitive nurses bully you into doubting yourself and your instincts.
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