tetrainor

I am still here. I have not posted in quite a while. I had a PET Scan in June on 07 and they came back with cautiously optimistic. With in a month, I was confronted with a choice for a second line therapy. I chose a study and after 3 rounds I wanted to be dead!!! I stopped the study, went into Home Hospice and have been getting better ever since. They had thought maybe 3 weeks!!! About 3 months about I started taking Tarceva and handled that well. My emotions go everywhere. We just got back (3/1-3/8) trip to Disney World with our 5 and 7 year olds. That was my big milestone to that point. Well the next milestone is 4/4 - my 50th birthday. I have days of hope and days of just being tired of all of this. Then the guilt for not appreciating EVERY DAY!!!! I am blessed for every day that I have with my kids, that I know. And the reality is that in many ways that fact that I am still here is helping them with my eventual passing. Well, I guess that's all for now from me.

I found this website through an email from carepages. I joined carepages last January when my then 2 year old great neice was diagnosed with Nuroblastoma (sp). Then on 8/23/06 I went in to a biopsy to come out with stage 3A lung cancer at 48. Talk about rocking my world. I have 2 daughters, 4 and 6 and am in no way ready to move on without them. So I have a lot to live for. In many ways I knew something was wrong, and when I have more energy (very long day today!) I will fill you in on more of my story. The lesson for me is keep asking questions and pushing back. No one will fight for me better than me (and my wonderful partner and family). I will be going to Philadelphia on 4/2 for a second opinion at Cancer Treatment Centers of America. I want to get the second opinion, but also be treated in an environment that treats me holistically. I have been doing acupuncture during all my treatments (went from once a month to 2-3 times per week at times). I truely believe that the acupuncture is what got me through my radiation and chemo with decent blood counts. Where I am struggling now is between the ears! While doing my best to stay positive, I am feeling more fear in the waiting game and with my cough not improving much, it just adds to the fear (even though I am considered stable at this point). I am working full time and doing well for the most part. Sleep is not what I would like for now and hence am very tired, yet could not get off the message board tonight. Will sign off for now and look forward to more postings. Thanks for being here.