jenn

I posted earlier today about my 65yr old mom, who was dx with SCC and NSCC stage 4 (smoker for 50yrs) She is on her 2nd round of chemo and they want to introduce radiation 1 x day for 17 weeks). She is very reluctent and so are we but after reading some of the posts, is seemed like everyone opted for it. I am not sure how to help her make an informed decision. The side-effects will leave her unable to travel, enjoy good food and play with her grandchildren, basically all the things she loves to do. Did I mention that she is asymptomatic even with the chemo. I know that can change, especially from the cummeraltive effects of the chemo. What kind of questions should I be asking. The doctor seems to think it is very necessary. Not sure if he is really concerned about her quality of life or thinking he can cure her (did I mention it is stage 4 and the tumor is on the edge of the lung with projections surrounding the heart), wish it was possible. Jenn

My mother has been dx with stage 4 NSC and stage 1 SC (I might have those switched) and was dx back in Atlanta, where the oncolgist there said he would recc. chemothearpy but not radiation at this time given how advanced it was and that she was asymptomatic. My Aunt insisted I have her come back to NY to be treated in the city at MSK. She is on her 2nd cycle of chemo and it was discussed two days ago that he wanted to start radiation tx but not for another two weeks and we could discuss it with the radiologist. I get a call from my mom yesterday that they want to start radiation today. My mom has made it clear to my sister that she didn't want any tx and was only doing the chemo for us. My aunts have made it clear that they are in charge and have purposely with held information about my mom's treatment from us so that we can not voice our opinion. My mom is 65 and in very good health (other than having cancer) is asymptomatic and has had no symptoms from the chemo other than being alittle tired for a couple of days. I am in conflict. I feel like my aunts and the doctor are pushing my mom into something she does not want to do (she says no) and my mother unfortunately has always been one not to stand up for herself or just go with it to avoid an agruement or conflict. My two children are extremely close with my mom and it would kill her and them if they could not have good quality time together. Not sure how to handle all of this. Any advice would be great. Thanks, jenn