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angsexton

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  1. Wow...it's been a while since I could even come back to this site. I don't think that I have posted here since I shared with you all that my dad had passed. I have been reading everyone's posts to catch up and have cried until I don't think I have any more tears. While this place is so wonderful to share feelings, it also makes me face the reality that my father has been gone for almost 4 months and what a heart-wrenching fight he had. Along with that reality, I will not receive a phone call from him tomorrow on my 31st birthday. This will be the first birthday without either of my parents. I am really having a "poor pitiful me party" right now. Thanks for listening to me vent. I thought this was getting easier, but was I ever wrong!
  2. I am so sorry for your pain. I will pray for you and your family.
  3. It has been almost 3 years since my mother passed from LC and my dad passed about 2 weeks ago from LC. When your parents are gone, so is that feeling that someone is on your side no matter what. Although I have an amazing husband, the connection to your parents is so different. Lonely is the right word. I was especially close to my mother. She was my best friend. It has been 3 years and I am still catching myself thinking, "Oh I need to tell my mom about so and so." It's very weird. I know she is gone, but I still want to call her. After she died, my dad became the "go to" parent, and now he is gone. My husband and my two precious children are my only family now. It is so strange.
  4. Carleen, I have nothing to say that will ease your pain other than please know I care. I don't know you, but as of June 29, 2007, we now share the date that we lost loved ones to this monster of a disease. I can't even imagine the pain you must feel. I am so sorry that you have to go through this...it's not fair. Your words touched me. You have a gift with words. You said you have nothing to give but pain. You have shared your pain AND the testimony of the amazing love you had with your husband. What a blessing it has been to me to hear what a rare and loving relationship you two had. Thank you for sharing your heart and being real.
  5. Thanks for all of your support and sincere concern. I really appreciate all of your kindness.
  6. My father went to be with our Heavenly father at 12:10 am on June 29. I was in the car on my way to see him and say goodbye. I was two hours away, and I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. I know he knew how much I loved him. I will miss him so much. It hurts so bad. I now have no parents. It is a very empty feeling. Thanks to all of you who have prayed for my family. Please keep it up...we need it now more than ever.
  7. Fred Thompson: The Philip Morris Candidate Link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/06/2 ... 53736.html If Fred Thompson is elected president, he will be the first federally registered lobbyist to become Commander in Chief since his days as top minority counsel to the Senate Watergate Committee, Thompson has collected over $1 million in lobbying fees. In return, he has provided exceptional access to those in power. Thompson's prospective presidential bid stands out in another respect: No campaign has been so dominated by staffers and advisers who have worked on behalf of Philip Morris, one of the world's leading tobacco conglomerates and a leading force in promoting cigarette smoking. Thompson's lobbying career demonstrates his striking skill in capitalizing on his own government service and on the success of his friends in public office. In 1981, when the Republicans took control of the Senate, Thompson's employer and mentor, Senator Howard Baker, became Majority LeaderWith Baker's rise to power, Thompson's lobbying fees from Westinghouse and other clients shot up from a paltry $2,575 in 1980 to $100,438 in 1981 -- then a considerable sum. That was peanuts compared to the fees Thompson got from just one lobbying client 23 years later, after another Tennessee friend, Bill Frist, was elected Senate Majority Leader. Equitas, a British firm seeking to minimize the cost of damages to Lloyds of London under pending legislation governing asbestos liability (asbestos is a known cause of respiratory diseases and of mesothelioma, a lethal lung cancer) in 2004 hired Thompson as part of a massive, $7.88 million lobbying drive. For two years' work, which consisted primarily in guaranteeing Equitas access to Senator Frist, Thompson was paid $760,000 ... Read the rest at HuffingtonPost.com
  8. I wonder if anyone can understand where I am. My father is basically nearing the end. He may make it another month, and he lives about 400 miles from me. I am married, work, and have 2 very small children, so dropping my life to stay away is not a great option for my family. My mother passed about 3 years ago of the same disease, so my Dad is the last parent left. I feel so much guilt that I can't go be with him every minute of the day. I was with my mom every step of her battle, but she lived downstairs in my house. My husband and I have been arguing more lately because I am so short fused and he is worried about me. I guess I am taking some of my anger about losing my Dad out on him, but I can't seem to stop. I just get so flipping angry at the unfairness of this horrible beast of a disease. Thanks for letting me vent. This place is such a blessing!
  9. Vegas, I am so sorry to hear that your mom is suffering so much. I know the feeling of watching or hearing a parent go through such a horrific time. Please know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It's so hard to live away from your parents when they are going through this. I spent a week with my Dad in May and driving away was the most painful experience of my life. You have someone here who will be praying you through this. One piece of advice....don't hesitate to share whatever is on your heart while you are there. I am so sorry that you have to go through this.
  10. I will pray for great news for your sister! I am sorry that you are going through this, but she is so blessed to have you. Keep us updated.
  11. Thanks so much for your advice and encouraging words. It's such a blessing to have this place to vent. I hate that you all know what I am going through, but I am so glad that someone does! Leslie-how odd that you are in such a similar situation. I appreciate your bringing me back to reality with saying that life is really uncertain for everyone. It makes it more bearable (sort of) Again, thanks to all and you remain in my prayers. Angie
  12. I just got back from visiting my Dad. He lives about 400 miles away with my stepmother. It was so good to spend time with him, but saying goodbye was horrible. Is that THE final goodbye? Will he make it until I can visit again in July? My dad is such a fighter, but he started giving life advice during our visit. Such as...I tried to raise you right...always stay close to your sister...always put God first...please know that I love you so much. It's hard because I know what he was thinking. He spent 95% of the time we were there in bed. He was too weak to get out of bed, and when he did get out, he fell. When do your prayers change from "please let my Dad's life be longer" to "please have mercy on him"? Thanks for letting me vent.
  13. Thank you so much for your support. This sounds like a great group of people. I will keep everyone upadated. Thanks again for your kind words. It means a lot to know that so many of you understand how I am feeling.
  14. Hi everyone. I really wish that I had had this support when I was going through losing my mother to cancer almost three years ago. I felt very alone. I was only 27, had just had my first baby, and was without my mother. It's so amazing that something like this exists. I am now going through this all over again with my father. He is Stage IV NSCLC with mets to his skin, bladder and abdomen. He lives over 500 miles away and it's so hard not being with him every day. He is such a fighter, but I think he is ready to be with my mom again. There is this something different in his voice lately. Not defeat...just fatigue. He was in the hospital for the last 2 weeks and a doctor acutally told him that he was dying from cancer and needed hospice. Why don't they make every doctor take a course in bed-side manner? Thanks for letting me vent. All of you and your loved ones will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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