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markguilloz

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Everything posted by markguilloz

  1. Good day everyone, And it is a beautiful day in Colorado. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, cool temperatures and I am finding much wonderful love from everyone here. I cannot believe the response to my checking in with all. many are saying they were just recently thinking of Leslie and I. All I can say is Leslie is here, and she too wanted to say hi through me, to you. It must be, for I had no intention to check in yesterday, but suddenly, some how, for some reason did so. I come in this morning to work, and I find so many more responses. I amazed and very touched, Thank you. Yes I do think of, and feel Leslie every single day. I will always have the special reserved space in my heart for her while here, this temporary place we all reside called Earth. Leslie wrote me a poem when we first met. I don't know word for word the poem from memory, but do have it at home, and can share her exact words later. But what I do remember says this: "We have circled one another for eternity, meeting, being together, separating and coming together again and again". Leslie is (from my perception) a very old soul. Leslie has intuition beyond anyone I have ever known. Leslie loves all creatures, and pursues to help and assist all who suffer here on this planet, at this time. And I really mean that. My home still has many four legged creatures as a result of he compassion for any and all refugees, hurt and lonely souls. I remember Leslie seeing a lonely homeless man on Christmas eve in Mojave, California. We were heading home. When she saw this man, alone, from a distance while we drove by where he sat, Leslie demanded we turn around to help him. And so I did, and Leslie met with the man, asked him what she could do for him. We gave hime enough money to insure he could at least have a decent meal on Christmas eve. That is just one small example of the hundreds of compassionate traits Leslie possesed, and would pursue to help anyone and everyone she possibly could. So, with that said, my heart still aches, I do so miss my Leslie. But I know, without any doubt I will again see her beyone the bend of this path we all follow. Thank you for the tremendous response. I know Leslie is pleased. I know she is aware you all are feeling her. Leslie wanted me to do this, to continue to interact with you on this site. She asked me to. But I couldn't for some time. It just hurt to much to continue to discuss. I had to distance myself from cancer, from the extreme pain. And I knew one day I would be able to come back, but didn't know when, as none of us do know when, where or what our future will bring. Well I have returned, as I feel has Leslie, through me. I will stay in touch. And do so look forward to the day I can meet, in person many of you. Mark
  2. Hi, Well I am touched deeply. I had no idea, wrong!, I had some idea that there would be those here that would be happy to hear from me. Leslie's garden...........well, things didn't come to fruition like we (Kim Chase, John Hamilton and I) had wished . The "cowboy bar" next door was no help at all to allow us to put the garden between thier building and the post office (Leslie's work place), so the idea fizzled out. Kim still wants to do something, but not too sure what. Leslie does have a tree planted with her ashes in Placerville, CA. in the front yard of her life long friend, Sally. Sally says the tree is doing wonderful. We had doubts the tree would fare well when first planted as it was so very hot last June when I met with Sally to bury Leslie's ashes with the tree. But Leslie being as strong willed and stubborn (in a wonderful way) as she was, must have made sure (her) tree would thrive. I am very well now. I am convinced that Leslie fullfilled her wish for me to not be alone and have a companion to take care of me. I met a wonderful lady at greif support last year after Leslie's passing. He name is Kathy, or actually Kathleen. Kathy lost her husband to Pnemonia (not sure spelled right) April 05. We shared a mutual sense of great loss and loneliness, and gravitated to one another profoundly. Many thought we were rushing into things, but many do not understand loss of a soul mate, those who have not lost someone that was your absolute other half. We married last October and are now so happy together. I do think of, and feel Leslie every single day. I get tingles all through my body at times I cannot describe. Have heard the feeling is a loved ones presence. Leslie did say she would be around me. So, to her very last moments here, she reiterated for me to not be alone. I sincerily feel she brought Kathy and I together. I have Italy pictures on my computer at work. I look at them almost everyday. I usually only look at the ones of Leslie. She is looking back at me, into my eyes. I hear her voice, I feel her, she is here, at least in part. I sense her being everywhere, and I KNOW I'll see her again. She is only around the bend of the path ahead. I glimpse her at times. Thanks for the response. I feel overwhelmed in a wonderful way. I will continue to correspond. And if anyone needs to talk about greif, experience or whatever, I am here. Love you all, Mark
  3. Hi Everyone, It's been more than a year since I have visited the site. Anyone remember me? Leslie221's husband, Mark. Leslie passed away January 20th 2006 with BAC. I guess I desired to leave all this behind, anything to do with cancer. Wanted it out of my life, no word mentioned of it. So I dissapeared from sight for a time. Now I find myself reflecting, seeing my wife in my minds eye so much. I feel her many times, many days. I don't know why, but here I am coming back to this community. I sense Leslie desiring of me to check in, provide updates and to support anyone who may be experiencing what Leslie and I went through. So that's all. Just checking in. If anyone remebers me, I will be so happy to hear how you are. Take care, Mark
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