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Willw99

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Everything posted by Willw99

  1. This is beautiful. It really helps.
  2. It has been a month since Dear Diana died in my arms. I still am having a hard time adjusting. Every day I want to start putting my life in some semblance of order. That is what Di would have wanted me to do. I cannot seem to stop being terribly sad and lonely and going all numb. Everyone on this site has been so kind to me and I thank you all for your kind words. I did not imagine it would be so painful. The silence is deafening. the house is so empty and all the days are grey with no life in my heart. I grieve the life Di and I were planning this time last year. So many changes and a life so different. I do not like the expression "it takes time to heal"-Iam not sick! I have changed. I want to be the person our dogs think I am. I just don't know any more.
  3. My Darling Diana died in my arms at 10:45PST Feb.1,2008. I will celebrate her life and mourn her passing into the light. With a Grateful Heart for having such a wonderful wife in my life. Will
  4. I just came back from the hospital.Diana's white cell count has increased dramatically in the last 2 days. I really want to thank you all for wonderful support in these last days. I love you all for your thoughts and prayers. You have made a great difference in my life. it really hurts and cancer really does SUCK! With a grateful heart, Will
  5. My darling wife, Diana was admitted to the Palliative Care Unit in Vancouver Monday Jan 28th. After not sleeping for 4 days because of SOB, swollen legs and stomach and pelvic pain,we discovered via blood tests and X-Ray her liver was infected and her organs were shutting down. It seems it is a matter of days until complete failure. It's happening too fast! I bounce between total emotion and complete numbness. My heart is breaking. If Kindness were a part of the criteria,Darling Diana would live forever. I will post more when I am less emotional. With still a grateful heart, Will
  6. Willw99

    What Now?

    First let me say how much strength, hope and wisdom I have gained from this wonderful community and how thankful I am. Diana and I received the results from a CT scan after having 10 radiation treatments 4 cycles of chemotherapy and 4 blood transfusions. There was no new growth and no change in tumour size. What now? Next test in Feb.08 I guess we really don't know what to expect. She is still very tired, has no strength and is feeling quite sick most of the time. I am hoping for some increased mobility in her so she can enjoy the holidays with our beautiful 18 month old grandchild. Sometimes I ramble on a little too much and I thank you for the place to do it. Maybe out of all this pain and sadness we can find some peace and love. With a Grateful Heart, Will
  7. Hawkeye I heard from you a few nights ago and I can both see and hear the frustration and pain you are feeling in the things you write about. I think you are like many of caregivers: annoyed, mad and feeling helpless at these times. Please vent like you told me to do! My thoughts are with both you and Mary. No need to be excused. We have all felt this way. You are not alone. I was given great insight on the life of the roles we find ourselves in-and not by choice-in responses to my post. Keep being the good man I know you are Will
  8. I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. I am looking into all the suggestions tomorrow. Your love and compassion for complete strangers in any stage of worry is so much appreciated by all. With an eternally grateful heart for having all of you here, Will
  9. I have not posted anything in this forum for some time now. I have been looking after my dear wife of 36 years since she was dxd in April 07. It is really hard to see someone go through the treatments and feel so bad at the same time. Diana has stage 4 nsclc affecting the right lung,the lymph nodes on the left side of the throat and a 3rd tumour on the adrenal glands. She underwent 10 pallative radiation sessions in June and now has finished 3 of 4 cycles of cisplatin and gemcitabine. Also she has had 3 blood transfusions between these last cycles because of low RBC. She seems to me to get weaker and sicker after every treatment. She is extremely fatigued, nauseaous and has terrible mouth sores. She is a fighter but she seems to get more despondent daily. For someone so active she says she wants her life back and wants this sickness to go away. We still have 1 more chemo on Nov. 14th and 21st. A CT scan is scheduled for the 28th. We were wondering what to expect then? What should we be asking the oncologist when we get a time to see him? Diana tells me she won't do any more treatments if she is going to feel this bad all the time. It is relentless and does not give her a moment of peace. I regret to say that she is still a smoker after 40+ years. To have her stop now would be more stressful than the therapy.Please don't suggest it. I have tried to get her to stop for over 30 years. Her real pride and joy is our 15 month grandaughter and the one person I can count on to cheer her up. Of course all this doesn't make it any easier for me. I don't wish to complain.Sometimes I wish I didn't feel so helpless and alone . I am very grateful for all the things and people I have in my life-BUT CANCER SUCKS! With a grateful heart Will
  10. Willw99

    John

    Dear Rochelle I am so sorry for your loss. You have been such a source of strength and inspiration in this forum. Every time I come to this place, you have always had a kind word for everyone. You are indeed a model for us all! With a grateful heart, Will
  11. Dear Nanci I have not been able to hold back tears since I read your post. I have been in your position with my mother years ago. Now My Darling Wife of 36 years has advanced stage 4nsclc and has not responded very well to 10 radiation treatments and 3 cycles of chemo. This message can also aid caregivers in a wonderful way. At least I now know what I can do to help others in pain and alone when they are looking after loved ones. When friends ask about Diana,I have some gentle answers. It tells me how I might look after myself now, and later when I might be alone. Bless you With a grateful heart, Will
  12. Message Willw99 Joined: 04 Jun 2007 Posts: 2 Location: Vancouver BC Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 8:54 am Post subject: need your input Diana and I saw the oncologist yesterday. She offered Di 4 options: 1. Do Nothing 2. Medication to relieve pain 3.A combination of carboplation and paclitaxel starting in August after she does 10 radiation treatments starting June 14th. 4.Participation in a clinical trial involving the above with experimental drug AZD2171 Does anyone have any experience with any of these options and the outcomes? I mentioned in my previous post that my darling wife for 36 yars has been diagnosed at stage 4 NSCLC with a tumor on the adrenal gland. I need your input to help her make a decision. Back to top
  13. Diana and I saw the oncologist yesterday. She offered Di 4 options: 1. Do Nothing 2. Medication to relieve pain 3.A combination of carboplation and paclitaxel starting in August after she does 10 radiation treatments starting June 14th. 4.Participation in a clinical trial involving the above with experimental drug AZD2171 Does anyone have any experience with any of these options and the outcomes? I mentioned in my previous post that my darling wife for 36 yars has been diagnosed at stage 4 NSCLC with a tumor on the adrenal gland. I need your input to help her make a decision.
  14. Hi,my name is Will. My wife has been diagnosed with NSCLC-Stage IV with something on her adrenal gland. We are going to see the oncologist for chemo consultations Wednesday. She is to start palliative radiation next week. Her back is very warm most of the time and she is taking Tramacet for pain.It seems she has more pain when she goes to bed. Cold compresses sem to help. It is the constant waking during the night that causes a great deal of fatigue. We really don't know what to expect. I need to know what I can do to help her. she is 64 and has reasonable health for now. Wish us luck in this time. Nobody wants to talk about the elephant dancing in the corner
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