Lady Salt

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead, Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. For nothing now can ever come to any good. "Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone" W. H. Auden

MERRITT, David MERRITT, David Walter - It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of David Walter Merritt on Thursday, September 20, 2007 after a courageous battle. David, beloved husband of Marta, dear father of Shaun, Robyn (Trevor Telfer), Jyll (James Hill), Sarah Scott and Scott Merritt. Cherished grandfather of Taylor, Cole, Gabriel and Julian. He will be greatly missed by his brother Peter and sister-in-law Christine. Predeceased by his parents Walter and Agnes Stehelin. Born in Halifax, David moved to Toronto in the early 1980's where he made his home. As vice-president of Design Build & Business Development at Ledcor, he was well respected in the construction industry. Family will receive friends at the Murray E. Newbigging Funeral Home, 733 Mount Pleasant Rd. (south of Eglinton) on Sunday, September 23 from 2-4 and 7-9 p.m. A funeral service in the funeral home chapel will take place Monday, September 24 at 11 a.m. Cremation has already taken place and interment will occur at a later date. In lieu of flowers, donations to a cancer charity of your choice would be greatly appreciated by the family.

Hubby has bone mets also... three ribs and the third vertebrae are compromised. He will start treatment next week on Tuesday: 10 sessions of radiation. The oncologist said he was too weak to go through chemo and radiation at the same time, so he will have the appointment with her after the radiation is over. Please keep us updated. I will add you to my prayers.

Many prayers for good news. Keep positive

I hate this disease with a passion so immense, it is only surpassed by my love for my husband... barely. I understand the wisdom when caring people advise to "keep positive", and I believe we all try to. I know I struggle very hard to maintain a positive attitude... specially when my beloved husbad is around. But I see him suffer, I see him go through so much and I can't do anything for him. And that feeling of desperation creeps up inside, and the anger bursts in flames in my heart, and all the light goes off and leaves me in that black hole. And it is all I can do to cling to reason not to go completely mad. I guess what I am trying to say is, it is ok to feel that way. I dont believe anyone in his right mind could go through something as terrible as this disease without getting some serious anxiety and stress attacks. When it happens, let it all out. Cry, yell, kick, hit, cry again, and keep on crying. It helps. At least it helps me. After letting it all out I feel I am ready to go and take some more in. A huge bear hug for you. And another for your husband. He sounds like he would get along just fine with mine. Many prayers for you both.

Many prayers for you both

I am so incredibly happy about those news. Both of you receive a bear hug!!! Be certain that we will be keeping you in our prayers for a complete and swift recovery.

Hi Mandi, I can understand how difficult it is for all of you to have to go through this. In this site you will find answers and lots of support. Welcome! Please keep us posted on your mom's condition.

I had forgotten another little trick: A product called "Polycose". It is a powder that has absolutely no taste, and you can add it to just about anything, from soups, to mashed potatoes,to juices, milk and even water. It adds 200 calories per spoonfull. You can also get it at hospital drugstores (here they have both Polycose and Skandyshake readily available at the kids hospital) or have your pharmacy order it for you.

Dr. West, Thank you so much for answering. We are still trying to assimilate the news, and struggling to remain optimistic and positive during this time. Your explanation is very much appreciated. Thank you!

Hubby developed instant dislike for those meal replacement drinks such as ensure, boost, etc. He has not been able to tolerate them well. But one thing he likes (600 calories per glass) is "Skandyshake". You can buy the pouches at the drugstore (usually hospital drugstores) or request your neighboring pharmacy they get it for you. It tastes just like an icecream or milkshake. You can add to it (or at least I do) powdered milk (more calories and more protein), icecream, fruits, anything you like and just blend them together. I hope your mom likes them as well. There is a recipe that I also prepare for hubby at least once a week and that he seems to enjoy very much. It has almost 800 calories per serving and it is very easy to make and even easier to eat. It is called "Baked chicken salad" and here is the site: http://www.hdny.org/recipes.html I hope it helps

Wishing your dad a speedy recovery from that cough and an easy chemo treatment. Please keep us informed

I know for a fact that David had liver enzymes elevated (they also thought it was liver mets but liver was, and still remains, clear). It has never been found why an inflamation of the liver would be present. We just know it is there and so far it has not had any relevance to his treatment or illness other than the fact that doctors recommend he does not take any form of Tylenol.

Hi and welcome! As sad and difficult as it is that you had the need to find this site, be certain that you found the right place. This is a space where you will find answers, support, motivation, compassion, comfort and inspiration. Please keep us updated on your mom's situation. I will be adding you both to my prayers.

I also believe in miracles. I don't have the pleasure of having met Bill, but please say hi to him anyways. Sending prayers for him.

Thank you all for your replies. It is very strange, but no matter how upset I am, every time I sit to read the forums in this site, I feel in peace. Maybe it is because of all the positive energy that is gathered in here that is able to reach people beyond the limits of space and time, of pc screens and internet. Maybe it is because there are so many lives and stories in here that are so incredibly motivating. I am so very happy I found you all. And I am so incredibly grateful to all of you for taking the time to answer questions, calm nerves, soothe souls and give back the proper perspective when we loose it in the tangle of medicine bottles. I will keep positive, I will not believe in numbers and I will have absolute faith in the fact that David WILL do well, that he WILL survive this. Thank you!!!!

I just called and ordered it after reading your post and the review. Thank you so much!

David and I went today to the appointment with the radiation oncologist armed with the CD containing the all CT scans performed on David so far, the report from the last one and high hopes that the visit would leave us with some kind of positive feelings. Apparently we were not meant to be that lucky. A team of doctors reviewed the scan and the consensus is that the cancer is there. Three ribs appear compromised along with one of the vertebrae. There are what appear to be two tumors: one growing along the trachea and one behind of the vena cava. Why did David have to ask the question??? he did, and the answer was: uncurable, if lucky, one more year tops. The doctor say that at this stage they will treat it more than likely with taxoterre, which is the most aggressive treatment according to his oppinion. They will also try to alleviate the pain. We are devastated. He is so very scared. First time I see him cry, and it was heartbreaking. I keep telling him that numbers are numbers, that they dont mean anything, that it only takes one person to break the odds... It seems to be working on keeping him without giving up Does anyone have a survival story involving lung cancer having spread to the bones? He is my love, my life, my soul... I refuse to even consider for a tiny moment life without him. How can I help him? How can I keep him motivated? How do I get him to eat so he is stronger for the treatment that is coming his way?

I am very sorry for your loss

I called today the doctor that directed David's radiation treatment last year. He was extremely supportive and immediately got us an opening to see him tomorrow first thing in the morning (despite the fact that he was fully booked.. bless him!). We just picked up from the Hospital the CD with the actual scan plus the report to take to him when we go. When we saw the oncologist yesterday we were so totally unprepared for the news that I think it took our minds a few hours to start working again... I didn't ask the oncologist any questions, didn't think to ask any questions.. actually I don't think I even spoke to her after she told us.. and I feel terrible because asking questions and finding answers is my responsibility. David is too weak and sometimes too confused to be worrying about that. Hopefully my head will be in fully working order tomorrow and I will get as much information as I can from the doctor at Sunnybrook. Thank you all so very much for your support and your advice. It truly means a lot to me!

I would cure it, so noone needs to worry about it anymore... Failing that, I would smack it flat with my heaviest cast-iron pan, just to get back at it for taking David's apetite away... and then I would hang it by the toes and start taking little pieces off it with a nail clipper, just to get back at it for all the pain it caused to my husband...and then.. well.. you guys get the picture...

I am very sorry to hear your news. I hope your mom changes her mind, there are always enough reasons to "bother". Life is worth fighting for!

We went today to the oncologist fully expecting to receive a positive outcome from the CT scan and some answers related to pain / weight loss. What we got was not what we wanted and needed to hear. I will transcribe here the report, because I can't understand most of it, but basically what the doctor said was that the CT scan shows something is in there. She mentioned the possibility that it might be scar tissue from the radiation, but that we must consider the possibility of the cancer being back. I have the report with me and here is the bulk of it: "There are increasing masses in the right upper lung with focal posterior rib destruction of the 3rd right rib posteriorly and T3 right transverse process. The 4th rib is also thought to be affected along its medial margin. There is sof tissue mass effect posterior to the trachea. There is soft tissue mass identified posterior to the vena cava A small area of atelectasis is seen in hte lingula. No lung metastases are identified. There are precarinal aortopulmonary window lymph nodes which have enlarged slightly. Slight density is identified in the right hilum, but no definite lymphadenopathy is seen. No left hilar adenopathy is identified" Can anyone help us understand all that lingo please? We are extremely worried and scared, mostly because we cant understand what is going on. In February he had a CT scan andeverything appeared normal... and now this? Can it really be scar tissue from a radiation treatment that took place in December last year? if so, why didn't it show in the past CT scan? David's pain is still really bad. The doctor mentioned that if it is confirmed cancer, more than likely he will receive the "traditional" treatment of Tarceva or Taxoterre vs clinical trials because of the weight issue. If anyone can help us understand the report I would be so very grateful... things seem to loose their "fear power" when we understand them better. David will have a complete body bone scan on Friday along with blood tests. Next week we will meet with the surgeon and evaluate the possibility of a biopsy. In the meantime, we wait, we worry, we suffer.

I am so incredibly sorry! I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I will add you and your family to my prayers. Please keep us informed

David is taking right now: Oxycontin - 20 mg - 4 pills every 8 hours (Long term pain management) Oxy-IR - 10 mg - 2 to 4 pills every hour as needed (breakthrough pill) Apo-Gabapentin - 300 mg - 1 capsule every 8 hours. Nortryptiline - 10 mg - 3 capsules at bedtime Methotrimeprazine - 5 mg - 1 pill at bedtime (new prescription we got today from the doctor) Thank you all for your answers. I can't wait to talk tomorrow to the oncologist about his weight and hear what she proposes to solve that issue.