hawkeye

Thank you all so much.....I found some e-mails while lookin for some documents on Mary's computer. Some of it hurt me very much and filled me doubts. I am so torn right now and the hurt is deeper from finding these.

My brother has to leave to go back to Ohio at 3AM. This will be the first time I will be in the house alone and I feel so lost. I have not heard from any of Mary's family except for Robbie (son). I just have so many conflicting feelings. I did call her sister Nancy and felt mixed feelings (the being polite type)from her. I also called her brother Jimmy. I do expect to keep in contact with Jimmy but I don't get the same feeling with the rest of the family. However Mary did have problems with several of them in her lifetime. Anyway I got to get busy doing something cause when I'm not doing anything it hurts too much. Peace out hawkeye

Sorry you have to be here but this is a great group of people and there is alot of knowledge here. Instead of trying to take notes I would recommend you take a small portable tape recorder if you have one available. That way you have the tape to know exactly what was said. Prayers your way. Peace out hawkeye

I know what you are going thru. May God grant you and your mother strenght, peace and comfort in this very difficult time. We are here for you. My prayers for your both. Peace out hawkeye

Mary's memorial service was today. It was beautiful. She is (not would be) very proud.I arranged a memorial lunch at our favorite resterant. We know the owners and it gave them a chance to be a part of the celebration of Mary's life. I know they were honored.

if you don't take care of you you can't take care of them

My Mary passed away today at 3:50 P.M. She was at peace and comfortable. I was with her. I had just this morning assured her that we would be ok. We had just gived her her meds and I was putting a cool cloth on her neck. She fought a courageous battle for the past 2 years. She saw the light and went to it. She is now at peace and has no pain. Peace out Mary and hawkeye

We got Mary home on Monday and set up with the hospice. They showed us how to administer her drugs and make her comfortable. She hardly eats or drinks at all and sleeps almost all the time. I fear that she doesn't have long to go. Her oldest son and his wife are staying here and have been simply fantastic. Mary would be so proud of them as I am. Its very hard especially since Mary really has no "quality of life" at this point. She will mumble now and then but can't really speak. It is so hard to watch her lay there and I feel so helpless. She is out of it almost all the time. I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!! CANCER SUCKS!!!!! Peace out Mary and hawkeye

Mary has been doing somewhat betterand if all goes well she will come home tomorrow (Monday). We have hospice coming in and one nice thing about the one we chose is that a niece of ours is going to be our HHA. That made Mary happy. The oldest boy (Robbie) and his wife are going to move in to help out. They have both been great in helping to care for her. We have a list of friends and phone #s to help run errands and sit with Mary from time to time so this is good since most of them are the "porch " crowd . The hard part is she is heavily medicated for the pain and is having scattered thoughts. We do seem to have her pain under control which is really good. Although I have a few things to vent I dont feel like doing that tonite. Peace out Mary and hawkeye

Hi all, Just a quick update here. Since last April several of Mary's coworkers would come over once a month for a "Porch party". We would sit in the backyark have a couple of drinks and converse. That was a wonderful time for mary. Well friday I was able to get ahold of these folks and we did the same thing in the hospital room ( without the alcohol) although the doc said if she wanted a drink why not!!! Mary was awake and talkative and had a great time. She even got some baloons and a box of fudge from the main office in Cincinnati. She smiled and laughed and had a great time. I have hospice coming in also. I'm tired and am going to try to sleep (hasn't been easy though). Peace out Mary and hawkeye

Welcome Renate..sorry you had to find us but glad you did. This is a wonderful site with alot of amazing and informative people. Once you get "staged" and you get treatment options folks will have better answers for your questions. Just a quick tip for you when you go for the results. Take a friend with you and also take a tape recorder. The doc shouldn't mind and its very helpful to go back over exactlly what was said. Some of us don't remember all of the conversation and its a good way to be able to go over it. Our prayers are with you. Peace out Mary and hawkeye

Thank you all your prayers and support. I must let you know that Mary had a prety comfortable and painfree day. She was aware and abit talkative. I did manage to reduce the "crowd" in the room and have it to 3-4 at a time and was also able to get several in by themselves. Mary has always been a caregiver in her family so its a very different situation for her. Not that we're giving up by any means but i have asked everyone to let her know that they will be "OK". And that we will take care of eachother. I think its important for her know that. Anyway I'm tired but I doubt I'll sleep much. Peace out

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while but its been really hectic here and I'm probably going to vent a bit. That said we had a scan done on 12-31-07. the results did not come back good. The tumors have grown and spread extensively. Mary has been in the hospital since feb 1.That day we had gone to the hospital to have some fluid drained from her lung which we did with some problems. It only gave her reliefe for a very short time. The doc also said that she had air on the outside of her lung(not good). That's when we got her admitted. A chest tube was out of the question because of how the tumor is situated and the doc;s weren't sure if it would seal properly which if it didn't would cause more problems. Surgery posed the same problems plus the fact that she is sooooo weak. This all said her brothers and sisters are all here along with her sons. The sons are handleing things well. The problem is with a couple of her brothers and sisters. They are ttrying to take over all of her care and not talking to me at all about it. This is very upsetting.Fortunately I talked to the nurses before and they know i have POA and what Mary's wishes are. It's just hard. The ones that are doting over her are the same ones that we going to "sue" her for not paying rent when she stayed at their deceased fathers house when she was getting divorced many years ago.And they actually forced her to pay them!!!!!!! Now ther'e trying to be all caring. Actually my "fix" has been to let them dote over her if it makes them feel better. I will have my time and Mary and I have had "our times". And it's givin me time to take care of a few things. Well I've rambled enough. We love each and everyone of you folks for all you support thru thhis journey. Peace out Mary and hawkeye

Just wanted you to know that you and your family are in Mary's and my prayers.

Mary and I are so sorry Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Mary and hawkeye