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Hope

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  1. It was an honor to "know" you, Dean Carl. I am so saddened by your passing. Tears are falling. Prayers for Gay and family. Hope Mom, dx sclc 01/02, entered heaven 06/l5/04
  2. Your story just keeps getting better and better! I always love to get on here and read your encouraging updates. Keep it up, and I'll be praying for you during your leg surgery. Hugs, Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging. 05/04 Difficulty breathing, placed on home oxygen. Discusses administering chemo to relieve symptoms. 06/01/04 Began administration of Topotecan. Hospitalized 5 days for pnuemonia. 06/08/04 Second round of Topotecan. Tolerated well. 06/09/04 Became disoriented, extremely short of breath. Taken to ICU, placed on bi-pap machine. 06/l5/04 Received in Heaven, 5am.
  3. Well, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post! Were you a writer in your former life? Though I am sorry that we had to "meet" like this...on this forum. I did see that you were newly diagnosed, and wanted you to know that there are people on this forum cheering you on, and those who are an encouragement (see CindyRN!). I'm no longer part of this board, but do lurk to see how everyone is doing. Thanks for the smiles Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging. 05/04 Difficulty breathing, placed on home oxygen. Discusses administering chemo to relieve symptoms. 06/01/04 Began administration of Topotecan. Hospitalized 5 days for pnuemonia. 06/08/04 Second round of Topotecan. Tolerated well. 06/09/04 Became disoriented, extremely short of breath. Taken to ICU, placed on bi-pap machine. 06/l5/04 Received in Heaven, 5am.
  4. Cindy, I've been following your story, and it was so wonderful to log on tonight and read your news! Praise God! I pray that others with sclc will be able to join you in the "4 years and going strong" club! Hope Mom diagnosed limited stage sclc 12/01 Entered heaven 6/l5/04
  5. Dean Carl- Your post officially made my Christmas happier! : ) Yes, you and everyone else on this board are NOT statistics. My mom fought so hard not to be a statistic, and although she didn't make it, she refused to be defined that way. I know that she would cheer you and everyone else on in your continued perserverance...in life! I enjoy reading your posts. Please continue to keep us informed of your thoughts and accomplishments. Love, Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging. 05/04 Difficulty breathing, placed on home oxygen. Discusses administering chemo to relieve symptoms. 06/01/04 Began administration of Topotecan. Hospitalized 5 days for pnuemonia. 06/08/04 Second round of Topotecan. Tolerated well. 06/09/04 Became disoriented, extremely short of breath. Taken to ICU, placed on bi-pap machine. 06/l5/04 Received in Heaven, 5am.
  6. Thanks for sharing that imagery, Dean Carl. You are a truly gifted writer. I'm praying that those bumps on your path become smooth. Thinking of you daily, Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging. 05/04 Difficulty breathing, placed on home oxygen. Discusses administering chemo to relieve symptoms. 06/01/04 Began administration of Topotecan. Hospitalized 5 days for pnuemonia. 06/08/04 Second round of Topotecan. Tolerated well. 06/09/04 Became disoriented, extremely short of breath. Taken to ICU, placed on bi-pap machine. 06/l5/04 Received in Heaven, 5am.
  7. My sisters and I went through my mom's things and kept some that reminded us of her. Each of us also took a few things that we wanted to have to use, and then we gave the rest to Goodwill. I took an organizer purse so that I could put toiletries in it when I go camping. After returning from camping last night, I began to put away the toiletries. I found her comb in one of the pockets. It had been there all along, tucked quietly inside. I just didn't notice it. The "wave" (such a good analogy) really washed over me as I remember how she combed her hair with that exact comb. It is hard. Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging. 05/04 Difficulty breathing, placed on home oxygen. Discusses administering chemo to relieve symptoms. 06/01/04 Began administration of Topotecan. Hospitalized 5 days for pnuemonia. 06/08/04 Second round of Topotecan. Tolerated well. 06/09/04 Became disoriented, extremely short of breath. Taken to ICU, placed on bi-pap machine. 06/l5/04 Received in Heaven, 5am.
  8. Dean, I check in here to see how you and many others are doing. It's great to get an update, and to hear that you are enjoying many things in your life. You have the best attitude of anyone I know or have known! You are an inspiration. God bless you and Gay as you continue your journey. Hugs, Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging. 05/04 Difficulty breathing, placed on home oxygen. Discusses administering chemo to relieve symptoms. 06/01/04 Began administration of Topotecan. Hospitalized 5 days for pnuemonia. 06/08/04 Second round of Topotecan. Tolerated well. 06/09/04 Became disoriented, extremely short of breath. Taken to ICU, placed on bi-pap machine. 06/l5/04 Received in Heaven, 5am.
  9. Hope

    My mom

    My dear mother passed away on Tuesday, June l5, 2004 at 5am. She had been admitted to the hospital Tuesday, June 8 for administration of Topotecan to control symptoms of SCLC. She was given an experimental drug to control the side affects of the Topotecan, and did wonderfully. She suddenly began to deteriorate on Wednesday night. She was confused and breathing became more difficult. On Thursday, she was admitted to the ICU because her oxygen levels were so low. She was placed on a bi-pap machine. By Sunday, she was no longer alert. Her difficult breathing slowed and then stopped at 5am Tuesday morning. Thank you to everyone on this board for the past 2 l/2 years of support and sharing of knowledge about this horrible disease. Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging. 05/04 Difficulty breathing, placed on home oxygen. Discusses administering chemo to relieve symptoms. 06/01/04 Began administration of Topotecan. Hospitalized 5 days for pnuemonia. 06/08/04 Second round of Topotecan. Tolerated well. 06/09/04 Became disoriented, extremely short of breath. Taken to ICU, placed on bi-pap machine. 06/l5/04 Received in Heaven, 5am.
  10. Hope

    An Update.

    Dean Carl- as Zpacific said, taking the morphine will not be addictive. My Mom's onc described it as "taking the pain killer when you NEED it will in no way make you addicted, it's people taking it who DON"T need it that get addicted." Hope this finds you feeling stronger. Hope Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging and possible mets to spine. 05/004 Weak. Starting Topotecan, once a week for 3 weeks.
  11. Hope

    Denial

    Lillyjohn, I forgot to reply to you! Thank you for sharing about your and Johnny's experience. I remember when you posted that you felt that the drs were the main reason why Johnny gave up. I'm sorry that it has caused you enduring pain, that you feel that he would have had more time had he not been so discouraged by others. We are not trying to discourage my mom. She is a fighter, that is how she has made it 2 l/2 years total following a sclc diagnosis, and 9 months past a recurrance. She has beaten the "odds" every time. It's obvious that her denial is how she is dealing with the disease. Yes, it is HER disease. I fully realize that. She is the one who has cancer. She is the one who goes through treatment. I think it isn't wrong to only hope that this all plays out the best way it can. And when a person won't even consider discussing what needs to be done (my dad drives a truck for a living and is hundreds of miles away for a week at a time and my mother lives in the boondocks one hour from us and the hospital) then it very frustrating. LC affects everyone, as you sadly experienced yourself. Thanks for your reply. Hope
  12. Hope

    Denial

    Thanks to everyone for your responses: DeanCarl- Thank you for your gentle encouragement. We don't want to be pushy with anything. I appreciate the opportunity to vent our frustrations. Gail- Thank you for the book referral, I will look it up my next trip to the library. Snowflake- I hope you understand we are not asking her to give up, we are asking her to let go. NOT let go of her life, but whatever it is that would have her not be open with us and discuss what is happening with her, what she thinks and ultimately what she wants. Someone gave me a great poem today at work: Giving up implies a struggle, letting go implies a partnership. Giving up dreads the future, letting go looks forward to the future. Giving up lives out of fear, letting go lives out of grace and trust. Giving up is a defeat, letting go is a victory. Giving up is unwillingly yielding control to forces beyond myself, letting go is choosing to yield to forces beyond myself. Giving up believes that God is to be feard, letting go trusts in God to care for me. -Hank Dunn All of those things are my desire for her. I imagine that if she would ever vocalize her feelings, they would be the same words that you just used. And you know what, those words would be welcome to hear. Yes, this IS her experience. It would be nice if it didn't affect anyone else, but unfortunately it does. Deeply. Gerbil Runner- Thanks for relating your story about the dnr. We don't want that experience to ever be repeated. I know it is an important issue, one of many that families and individuals with lung cancer must face. Ry- Thanks for your insight and kind words. I hope that ultimately my mom would be able to say that she lived life- all the way- to the best of her ability. And I am hoping that lung cancer doesn't impede that, and it is frustrating to me that, in my mind, it is. Hope
  13. Hope

    Denial

    I hope this ok to post here. My mom is currently in the hospital and is doing ok, will probably come home tomorrow. I noticed in some posts that those who have lc have said that their families are in denial. The opposite is true for us, my mom is the one who is in denial. Last week she told my sister that she probably doesn't even have lung cancer, but if she does she will beat it. I know that she realizes she does really have this disease, it is probably just a defense mechanism. Lung cancer for us is the elephant in the room that nobody talks about. Our last visit with the onc before this hospitilization my sister brought up the issue of a dnr order with the dr who said it was a good idea to talk about, and my mom said it was up to the family. The dr said it was up to her. She said she had a living will, but would not discuss that it was not the same as a dnr. The floor dr today asked again about resusitation issue while explaining the results of some tests that were done. She said that she would talk to my mom about it, which I am dreading since I know that will make her go ballastic. My sister once used the word "terminal" with her and my mother was emotionally outraged that she would say that. We are supporting her in every way. It is just seems to make it harder that she won't in any way acknowledge what is happening to her. She actually says that she "is fine, well except for ha ha he he". She won't even say the word cancer usually! I guess I am frustrated that she is possibly not using any time that she has left no matter how long that may be and making it meaningful. I, of course, cannot pretend to imagine what it must feel like. I am only speaking for myself here and my families frustration with how this is playing out. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for letting me vent. Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging and possible mets to spine.
  14. Fay, I saw that show and agree with your letter. I was glad that there was at least one redeeming part of it though. The nurse who did the euthenasia (sp) realized (after she received word that her cancer had taken a turn for the worse) that life was more important than dying and told the support group director that she couldn't do it anymore. Yes, someone definately had an agenda to promote on that show. Did you laugh at the last part where the fbi guy got a haircut? It made me smile because I was wondering why he was letting his hair get so long on the show! : ) Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Dr decided to wait on administering more chemo due to possibility of seizure being caused by chemotherapuetic neurotoxicity.
  15. I just have to say thanks, too, Dean. I usually hang out on the sclc threads, but always check the general threads to see how you are doing! I was so thrilled to find tonight that you are moderating The Path Less Traveled. So far I love what I see! I appreciate you and your wife. God bless you. Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar.
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