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  1. For some reason this year, this is hitting me especially hard. As others have mentioned, this is a yearly issue- every October... Susan hit on my concern. I actually think this pink "marketing" is doing a disservice to all of us. Do I truly believe that if I purchase the pink cupcakes my local grocery store is selling this month, that I am in any tangible monetary way, supporting breast cancer research? I am 99.99% sure there is no money going to bc research from those cupcakes.... But, I think, there are many many people who DO believe it. That will purchase those pink cupcakes over the plain white ones because they believe somehow they are making a difference. I do know that many of the products donate a portion of their proceeds. But the number of products now is so staggering- it is getting harder and harder to tell which ones are worthy of purchasing. I think this blurring of the lines into breast cancer used as marketing does a huge disservice to the organizations truly raising funds. On one hand, it does raise awareness, but on the other, how many people are purchasing products (thinking they are doing good), instead of donating directly..... Amy
  2. I haven't been on the board in a long time and this is the first post I read and I can relate. Its been almost 4 years since my mom passed. She would have been 62 this year and I'm 37 now. Way too soon... Hardest for me is seeing women in their 60s escorting their mothers- women in their 80s- to the grocery store or the mall. How much Mom and I missed out on... Only my 8 year old remembers her much at all. And I have a daughter she never met. Amy
  3. Mom was 52 at diagnosis- stage iv- lived 6 years.
  4. I have not posted in a very long time but lurk occasionally. Your post caught my eye. I am almost to the end of year 2 and in some ways it has been easier and in some it has been harder. The triggers are fewer but when triggered the pain is just as bad. I think too my grief is more visible in my irritability rather than more overt sadness. Last year I was sad more. This year I'm more easily irritated by things. Something is not right and not fixable. I don't have any advice to offer. Just empathy. Hang in there. Amy
  5. I started seeing a therapist about 2 months ago. It's been very helpful, but mostly we've talked about other issues other than Mom until yesterday. In the course of our discussions it has come up that most of the bad things or most of my meltdowns seem to happen on Tuesday. Well, another work issue erupted a week ago Tuesday, so we talked about it yesterday. My therapist said, Hmmm another Tuesday... Just out of curiosity, what day did your Mom die? Guess what?? It was a Tuesday. This is so bizarre. She did acknowledge that it could be purely coincidental, but that perhaps I just tend to be more vulnerable on Tuesdays. Very weird. I would have never guessed it. So, while I won't be hiding in my room on Tuesdays from now on, it does help to have acknowledged it I think.
  6. ahhappy

    Lonely in Loss

    Me too! I'm nodding my head too! My mother was my very best friend. Better than my other friends because she KNEW me. Every little part of me. Every expression, every body language movement. She knew. We talked about everything. And we talked 3 times a day at least. I can't get away with that with my friends- even as great as my friends are. They don't want to hear from me 3 times a day every day. Like you, I didn't realize the extent of lonliness that I feel. I'm not a big talk to the sky kind of person either. I'm not to the point where I can think about telling her things without bawling. I'm sorry you are hurting. Amy
  7. Oh wow! That is awesome. What a gift- and such a poignant moment.
  8. Thanks for your prayers. My friend definitely does NOT have lung cancer. It is taking a very long time. At first they were 98% sure it was lc and then it was ruled out. But they couldn't determine what it was. Still haven't. But they rechecked for lc and the spots on her lung have reduced (which doesn't happen without treatment I guess with lc) so they have ruled it out again. Still a serious problem. But not lc. Thanks again.
  9. ahhappy

    prayer request

    Thank you all. For some reason this is hitting me really hard. Her name is Sheila and I heard today through my supervisor that they found three spots on one lung during the scan. Keep praying please. THank you. Amy
  10. Ditto what Don said- get it checked out. I remember my mom having a problem with hers. I can't remember the exact issue- but it had to be replaced or redone. Amy
  11. ahhappy

    prayer request

    I have a friend who is going for a cat scan today due to coughing up blood and chest pain. I'm so nervous for her. Any prayers would be gladly accepted. Thanks. Amy
  12. It's funny, I don't remember the first moments anymore. Shock and disbelief is what I remember most. And I wanted as much information as I could gather. But my most vivid memories are of the scan results over the years. If I got a phone call, all was well (or well enough). But if, after results of scans, my parents arrived at my doorstep, I knew it was horrible news again. So I would sit at home and wait and wait and wait. Praying for the phone to ring.
  13. 1. Sunshiney days 2. Kids paintings 3. cars are paid off 4. flannel sheets (and open windows at night) 5. babies
  14. ahhappy


    Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
  15. A married couple in their early 60's were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! Two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands. Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime. So I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife who is 30 years younger than me". The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and -- abracadabra! The 60 year old husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story.....Men might be idiots....But fairies are......female.
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