JulieClark

Hi! I just wanted to thank you all for your advice and understanding. I was feeling so guilty for not jumping the first plane to Kansas from here in California but somehow knew it would be best not to. Here's a little bit more of the story--I apologize that it is rather confusing, but I am not sure how many straight answers I am getting from my dad. My did went to his primary care physician last summer, complaining of back pain. After trying to manage my dads pain after ordering an MRI on the back and the tumor looking like disc trouble, my dad didn't see that doctor or any other doctors until early in 2004 when he had an anestheologist friend give him 2 epidurals to help with the pain. From what I understand, last month his pc physician referred him to an orthopedic surgeon who ordered the newest MRI taken earlier this month. Then the orthopedic doctor left of vaction. In the meantime, the Russian oncologist arrived and, seeing my dad in so much pain, had him referred to an actupuncturist. The actupuncturist wanted a copy of the both MRIs and reports, which is where she read all this information and saw the growth of the tumor. she also suspects metastasis to the shoulder. I don't know how much dad will listen to me. It's been hard enough to run my home and be there as much as possible for my mom who lives an hour and a half away. The Russian doctor wants to leave the country and have me take care of my dad, now that he is in so much pain, he is not getting out of bed. He does have major medical insurance with a high deductible. Thanks again for listening. I know it is a bit chaotic but am not so sure what my role is. My mom goes to a large HMO and lives fairly close and has a wide support system of family and friends. My dad avoids the doc when possible, hasn't lived within 2000 miles of me for my entire adult life, and only has me and this Russian lady who I have never met! I know all will work out fine in the end

Hi! I just wanted to thank you all for your advice and understanding. I was feeling so guilty for not jumping the first plane to Kansas from here in California but somehow knew it would be best not to. Here's a little bit more of the story--I apologize that it is rather confusing, but I am not sure how many straight answers I am getting from my dad. My did went to his primary care physician last summer, complaining of back pain. After trying to manage my dads pain after ordering an MRI on the back and the tumor looking like disc trouble, my dad didn't see that doctor or any other doctors until early in 2004 when he had an anestheologist friend give him 2 epidurals to help with the pain. From what I understand, last month his pc physician referred him to an orthopedic surgeon who ordered the newest MRI taken earlier this month. Then the orthopedic doctor left of vaction. In the meantime, the Russian oncologist arrived and, seeing my dad in so much pain, had him referred to an actupuncturist. The actupuncturist wanted a copy of the both MRIs and reports, which is where she read all this information and saw the growth of the tumor. she also suspects metastasis to the shoulder. I don't know how much dad will listen to me. It's been hard enough to run my home and be there as much as possible for my mom who lives an hour and a half away. The Russian doctor wants to leave the country and have me take care of my dad, now that he is in so much pain, he is not getting out of bed. He does have major medical insurance with a high deductible. Thanks again for listening. I know it is a bit chaotic but am not so sure what my role is. My mom goes to a large HMO and lives fairly close and has a wide support system of family and friends. My dad avoids the doc when possible, hasn't lived within 2000 miles of me for my entire adult life, and only has me and this Russian lady who I have never met! I know all will work out fine in the end

Hi! I know I have been very quiet on this board, but I read the messages every day and have laughed, cried, grieved with, and prayed for each of you over the last 8 months. I have a crisis here that I have no experience in dealing with, and I am needing some expertise. The crisis actually does not have much to do with my mother, who is still undergoing weekly navelbine chemo and is growing weaker but is feeling good otherwise. It has to do with my father, whom my mother divorced nearly 30 years ago. I have had a relationship with him during my entire childhood and adulthood. He is not a very easy personality to get along with and has alienated all other relatives except myself. He lives 2000 miles away, and we talk once every three weeks or so and see each other once every two or three years. He has had back pain for a few months now, and it is getting more intense. During this time, he also began corresponding with and went on 3 separate vacations with a female oncologist from Russia. They started talking about marriage, and she came to America with her 13 year old son a week ago. I got an e-mail from her this morning that she has read my father's MRIs and reports and after 20 years in the field, believes that he has multiple metastases of cancer all over his body. She doesn't know what to do next, because she can't practice medicine in this country. She doesn't even know how to set him up with an oncologist or get him the pain relief he needs. She has only told my dad that he has a tumor on his spine which could be benign, nothing about the other metastases. There is no way that I can physically go there for at least another week--my husband is traveling and I am homeschooling my two children. What should I tell her? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

Hi! I know I have been very quiet on this board, but I read the messages every day and have laughed, cried, grieved with, and prayed for each of you over the last 8 months. I have a crisis here that I have no experience in dealing with, and I am needing some expertise. The crisis actually does not have much to do with my mother, who is still undergoing weekly navelbine chemo and is growing weaker but is feeling good otherwise. It has to do with my father, whom my mother divorced nearly 30 years ago. I have had a relationship with him during my entire childhood and adulthood. He is not a very easy personality to get along with and has alienated all other relatives except myself. He lives 2000 miles away, and we talk once every three weeks or so and see each other once every two or three years. He has had back pain for a few months now, and it is getting more intense. During this time, he also began corresponding with and went on 3 separate vacations with a female oncologist from Russia. They started talking about marriage, and she came to America with her 13 year old son a week ago. I got an e-mail from her this morning that she has read my father's MRIs and reports and after 20 years in the field, believes that he has multiple metastases of cancer all over his body. She doesn't know what to do next, because she can't practice medicine in this country. She doesn't even know how to set him up with an oncologist or get him the pain relief he needs. She has only told my dad that he has a tumor on his spine which could be benign, nothing about the other metastases. There is no way that I can physically go there for at least another week--my husband is traveling and I am homeschooling my two children. What should I tell her? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

Dear Heather, I can so strongly relate to your post. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung cancer last summer and told she had around 6 months to live. I was crushed and mentally began planning her memorial service. My children were 9 and 10 at the time. Now, after radiation and still undergoing chemo, my mom feels much better than she has since long before she was diagnosed. It has given us precious time that I would have taken for granted if she weren't sick. Chemo is just part of her weekly routine now, much like going to the grocery store. It takes some adjustment, but there is hope! Don't give up!

Dear Heather, I can so strongly relate to your post. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung cancer last summer and told she had around 6 months to live. I was crushed and mentally began planning her memorial service. My children were 9 and 10 at the time. Now, after radiation and still undergoing chemo, my mom feels much better than she has since long before she was diagnosed. It has given us precious time that I would have taken for granted if she weren't sick. Chemo is just part of her weekly routine now, much like going to the grocery store. It takes some adjustment, but there is hope! Don't give up!

Dear Heather, I can so strongly relate to your post. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung cancer last summer and told she had around 6 months to live. I was crushed and mentally began planning her memorial service. My children were 9 and 10 at the time. Now, after radiation and still undergoing chemo, my mom feels much better than she has since long before she was diagnosed. It has given us precious time that I would have taken for granted if she weren't sick. Chemo is just part of her weekly routine now, much like going to the grocery store. It takes some adjustment, but there is hope! Don't give up!

Hi Micki, I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I so understand what youa re going through as I am going through the same thing, just a few weeks ahead of you. I can't guarantee you that your mom will go through exactly what my mom did, but I can tell you what happened with us so you can maybe get an idea of what to expect. My Mom had a lung biopsy on June 10 and began treatment on June 20. Has your mom seen an oncologist yet? He is the one who will recommend and be the catalyst for treament. My mom had radiation (her lung cancer had already metastasized to her brain) and started chemo last Thursday. The chemotherpay did not give her any side effects this treatment, but the nurses told her she would feel the effects by next treatment. She will be receiving chemo every three weeks. If you have any more questions on anything, please don't hesitate to give a holler. We all need to stick together. Julie

Hi all! I wanted to deeply thank each of you for your hearty welcome and words of encouragement. It means so much and has really changed my attitude and the way I look at this disease. Mom did well after her first chemo treatment but is having a very hard time with the heat. Let's all work togethr and encourage each other through this never dull, often arduous, and always growth-inducing journey

Hi all, It's so comforting to be in this community of others who understand... I'm Julie, and I still consider myself new to the journey of lung cancer. My Mom was officially diagnosed on June 11 of this year, after a brain MRI found 3 brain tumors and a chest CT scan found hundreds of tumors. The oncologist told us that all treatment is pure palliative and will hopefully extend her life from 6 months to 2 years. She noticed a lot of improvement with brain radiation and will begin her Taxotere/Carboplatin chemo day after tomorrow. I live an hour and a half away and leave my 9 and 11 year old children with my husband every other week and go spend time helping mom. I am so torn and feel like I've walked into a nightmare. What can I expect? How do I keep my sanity? Thank you all for being there!