Marci

Joyce, Your words show strength and tenacity needed in this disease and I hope you keep that positive outlook. You are in my prayers. Blessings Marci

Thanks for all the support. I hope things turn around soon for me and for all of you too. I keep praying for all of you too. I just keep reciting: Be Still and Know that I am God to myself through out all this. Thanks Again- Marci

Hi All, Well, I finally know why now when they say Men mourn different then women. Sorry to the few that still have the respect for their families. It just came out in front of the whole community that my Dad has been seeing a girl I went to highschool with. I didn't like her then and now I despise her for sleeping with my father so gross. He says he ended it not b/c he disgraced my mother's family and her memory but that he misses his wife. Whatever the damage to this mourning period has been forever tarnished. Yes, I do forgive him (he asked for foregiveness) b/c I love him but how much more can I take and my 18 year old brother right now. Well he has decided to sell the house that I rent an apt. with my husband so now we must make that transistion too and for me to get the house ready to be sold. I feel all this was so unfair and I told him that he denied me my mourning b/c this has all been about him so maybe by moving even though this is scary for me it will be the best thing I can do so I can mourn and have peace. I am begging people in my home to please let me mourn my mother in peace and they have just wiped me out. Marci

Nick, That is so nice! Marci

So Sorry Denise. Marci

Hi All, Thanks for all your input. I know I have to sit and talk to my boss, I just feel like I don't want to open a can of worms if I do that. I feel the more I avoid it maybe it will go away but it seems to rear its ugly head at work now and then. They were very good to me when I was out with my Mom while she was ill and then when she passed but now they have made comments about being out and not having the family member anymore. I found that so cold and offensive. Just b/c she is gone from this Earth doesn't mean I am not struggling still in my grieving. Yes, I know the economy is horrible and people would grab my job in a second flat. My family keeps telling me just keep holding on for now this too shall pass. Again, thanks for the support I somehow feel better with the support given that I am not alone in this. Thanks for listening Marci

Mary, My prayers are with you and your Mom for a successful outcome with the chemotherapy. Blessings, Marci

Hi All, I am in the grieving process now and its only been since Feb. that my Mom passed. It seems so fresh now since the services are over and I find myself missing her more and more. I miss running home from work to care for her etc. although I know she hated to be taken care she was so independent and strong and the disease just consumed her and I. My major obstacle now is my job that I have gone back to work regularly in my eyes although I have taken some days here and there when I am either truly sick or just have hit bottom of the depression. I used all of my time vacation, sick, etc. in the beginning of the year when Mom was declining and then passed. I used FMLA also after I had used my time. I do not accrue anymore vacation this year although I do get 1 sick day per month which I seem to burn through so easily. My main concern is that have any others experienced the employer holding it up against you for someone passing away and having to take the time off? I mean she wasn't just someone she was my Mother and I feel I have this cloud over me now there and feel no matter what I do I can't redeem myself there almost like they have seen me in that light and thats what they base their judgement on my as an employee. I have always prided myself in being a good employee but this happening was major for me. Just curious if others experienced this backlash and what they did about it. Thanks for listening Marci

Hi Randy, Sorry you had such a rough day. I find only those who have experienced what we have know exactly how it feels when these things come up. I hope for better days for you. It never is easy. You are in my prayers. Marci

I love all you guys so much, I can't tell you where I would be right now if it wasn't for all the support here. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I pray for all of you and continue to rally for those fighting the fight. This site seems to make the journey more manageable in a way. I love you all and will continue to hold all of you in my prayers daily. Thanks for the support ALWAYS- Marci

Hi All, Just venting here. After my Mom passed 2/21/09 I had been so strong for my brother and father. All of sudden I seem to cry everyday and just can't stop. I need to function to work and am finding functioning to becoming an issue all though I keep the feelings at bay right now so not to lose total control. My therapist says its normal to cry like that and go through all kinds of emotions. I am angry one minute sad the next. The missing her and knowing that I have to face each day without her is just so horrible to me. Just venting.... Marci

Hi Ginny, Me too mad as hell! I remember watching it on TV with my Mom that night and believing that this was a change to come. Wow - what a kick in the stomach to all those who believed them. Marci

Hi Annie, My mother was diagnosed with a spot of cancer in her buttock area when her PET showed it there. She also had adrenal glands show up "hot" too but the Dr.s never were concerned with the areas. I was concerned about every little millimeter of it but maybe from their point of view looking back at my mothers spread of cancer they were more concerned with the major areas concerning organs, etc. Things that would be more life threatening to her. So maybe that is why they are putting you off with it. To me it seemed like I wanted to talk about every detail and the DR. wanted to get to other things. Looking back the things I was concerned with weren't life threatening to her as much as other areas in the body. Hope this helps and maybe thats where they are coming from but if her PAIN is there and PERSISTS you must fight on for relief maybe ask about getting the spot radiated etc. I had to fight on for my mother to get her shoulder radiated after 4 painful sorrowful weeks I watched my mom go througth not knowing that was an option for her. Best of Luck to you and you are in my prayers- Marci

Caren, I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers. I wish you strength and peace in the days ahead. Love Marci

Judy, I will pray for MJ. Hope you are doing ok. Marci

I am so sorry your Dad is not feeling well. Just a thought that my mom's oncologist advised that Tarceva can be a very nasty drug on some. Maybe the Tarceva is interfering with things too. Of course you should ask the Doc. to tell you all the side effects of Tarceva so you know how to differ between the drugs vs. the cancer. So hard b/c most drugs have side effects. I hope your Dad improves and gets home soon. Keep the faith during this time when things seem to be at their worst, know that you do not walk alone in your heart and prayers. Marci

Hi Kristi, Oh yes, oxygen is very helpful. My mom had a machine at home and a portable for doctor's appointment. Plus she used a nebubilzer which she did 4x a day which she used albuterol at home too. This may help with the breathing. My mom saw a pulmonary doctor who presribed all of the above. Hope things get better! Marci

Hi All, It seems there are no takers on here for the wigs so I will be dropping the wigs off at the local American Cancer Society today. Something special today about Good Friday for me to do it. Makes me feel somewhat at peace about the wigs. I have been driving around with them in my backseat for 2 weeks now. Happy Passover and Happy Easter to All! Hope you all enjoy your holiday with family and good friends! Love to All Marci

Hi Jenn, I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers will include you and your family to get through this difficult time now. May you somehow find comfort and peace through faith. Marci

Hi All, I have brand new wigs my mother purchased and never wore. I wanted to donate them to someone who is in need of them. Anyone have any ideas on where. Of course, I was thinking to call my local American Cancer Society chapter. If anyone would like them or is in need or can think of someone who may need them please let me know. They are all in the brownish red color and are all very attractive like my MOM! I will mail them to anyone who is need! I can upload pictures of them if needed too. Thanks and Love You All- Marci

So sorry for your loss. Just your name alone Teardrop brings tears to my eyes. May peace be with you. Marci

I know its so hard but don't give the disease the power to stop this. Even though physcially she won't be there she will be really in her heart from where ever she is such as the hospital/home etc. That is a good sign for her to be saying that, she is not letting the disease win over this. One thing I learned with my mom was that there were things I had no control over what so ever but things I did have control over I did them in spite of the disease and I think it gave my mom the hope and strength to go on with treatment etc. So, Congratulations to you are in order for tomorrow!!! Many Blessings, Marci

Thank You very much for all your heartfelt condolences. I will still be on checking on all of you and keeping you all in my prayers. Love Marci

Mom passed away in the hospital with me by her side holding her hand on 2/21. 2/21 was her father's birthday in which he was already in heaven and came to get her for his birthday. The battle is over and she is at peace now. Her agony is over and mine has just begun. I will miss her all the days, minutes, and seconds of my life. Marci

Hi Denise, Boy, do I know what you mean with the financials! It seems so overwhelming at times. I will keep you in my prayers for some relief soon - sometimes when we think there is no solution or we think we won't make it through GOD finds a way. I will pray he will give you what you and Tom need now. Now a days I pray for things we just need not want!!! Don't want to push it ya know with the man upstairs!!! You and Tom are in my prayers for assistance from up above!!! Take Care Marci