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Pipfitz

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Everything posted by Pipfitz

  1. Randy, I don't visit here often but you're such a stalwart I thought I'd reply. Don't know if I'm any help, though, it's all so different for everyone - and different at different times. Gerry died over three years ago. I've had five girls to bring up and they keep me going. But it is lonely (though I'm never alone) and rather than moving on I try to work on managing that sense of loss. ee cummings poem about carrying his heart in my heart is how I feel. Seeing someone else might be fun - so I keep up social engagements and remain open to possibilities. No one come along yet, and maybe that's just how it's meant to be at the moment. My mother-in-law and my grandmother both lost their husbands at about the age I am now - neither so much as dated again, they both held their husbands in such high affection maybe they couldn't. But they both lived long and happy lives after.
  2. One of the best and most respected English judges died of lung cancer http://www.guardian.co.uk/law/2010/sep/ ... l-obituary
  3. Amanda and all Don M's family and friends, May God comfort you. Don M was a great help and source of inspiration to many of us. Pippa
  4. Pipfitz

    It's strange

    Hi all, Oh yes, you're all so right. I had a week away with the children skiing which was lovely, but I've been totally miserable since we got back. Fooled myself that I was managing ok and now feel back to square one. But I just try to hold on that there will be some moments when I feel ok, and even, sometimes when I can almost feel "normal" - and hope those moments become more common. Peace to everyone this Sunday night. Weekends are the worst, I find. Pippa
  5. Pipfitz

    Letting Go

    Carrie, I'm so sorry to read this today. You and all your wonderful mother's family and friends are in my thoughts. My God comfort you all, Pippa
  6. Dear All, I've not posted for a few weeks and you probably know that means one of two things: either everything's hunkydory and one's getting on with life too busy to post or everything's not so good. We've had a bit of both. DH died on 22nd November at 4 p.m. with just our lovely parish priest and me holding a hand each, in his own bed at home. He was only really ill for the last 48 hours and only in bed for 4 days. He managed to say goodbye to several old friends, his mother, siblings, my parents, all the children and me in the 24 hours before he died. 7 days before he died we'd been out to dinner just the two of us and he went to Tottenham to see our third daughter score a hat trick (3 goals) in a key mid table soccer match against Tottenham B 4 days before he died. In a way we both got what we wanted, he was terrified of liver mets - having seen his father die horribly of liver cancer in the 70's - and I was terrified of brain mets. He couldn't have died better - though it was terribly hard, he struggled and fought for a couple of hours. Fit as an ox apart from his lungs! We only had a nurse for the last night, but the support from the professionals was always just a quick call away. We had the most wonderful funeral yesterday (30th November), which he planned himself (though I did most of the music - Libera Me from Faure's Requiem sung by our great friend Charbel Mattar of the Royal Opera House amongst the best bits) and buried him in a nearby consecrated woodland burial site. Then we celebrated his memory in Crozes Hermitage (long story why that is significant) at home with many of the over 400 who attended his funeral. This site has been the most amazing source of information - the people here are wonderful and I've lurked about gaining lots of useful tips and reminders. If I can return any favours or offer any help, you know where to reach me: pipparogerson@hotmail.com. With the best of good wishes to you all, Pippa
  7. Pipfitz

    Our father

    Lesley and Adrian, I'm so sorry for your loss but how wonderful that you found spirituality and peace in his passing. He sounded a marvellous person, with a lovely family to be there for him. With all best wishes, Pippa
  8. Pipfitz

    John

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. John's story has been an inspiration to me. He is at peace now and I pray you and the Jillinator find great peace too. Pippa
  9. Hi everyone, Just to introduce myself as I've been lurking on the boards for quite a while now! Darling husband has been living with a diagnosis of NCLC for nearly 8 months now and seems to have been progressing slowly through all that time. He's still reasonably well: working part-time, walking a mile or two a day, eating with interest if not relish, but is also losing muscle and not sleeping well. We live in Cambridge England and have five wonderful daughters between 3 and 16. Just a little warning - I personally find the language of "battle" with this disease uncomfortable. I'm sure lots of people want to fight it out and need to believe that's what they're doing. But that metaphor leaves those of us who know that the "fight" will be lost eventually marked as somehow "failing" or "giving up" and therefore guilty of not trying hard enough. We're all doing what we can - and for me that's to live the life we have as well as we can in recognition that life is very finite and the good days won't come by too often with this disease. Best wishes to everyone from a foggy autumnal Cambridge!
  10. Welthy, I am so very sorry for your loss. There are no words but you are amazing. Pippa
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