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okiegrl

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  1. A lady with bone cancer had trouble getting to sleep at night because of the pain. To make matters worse, her tomcat's yowling would wake her up just as she fell asleep. "I don't need this," she raged. She had the tomcat neutered. A few months later she found an ancient lantern up in her attic. Just for kicks, she rubbed it. Immediately a giant genie appeared and offered her three wishes. First, she wished to be cancer free. It was done. Next, she wished to be young. It was done. Amazed, she asked for the third and final wish. "Bring me a handsome young prince." The genie looked around and the only living thing in sight was her cat, which he immediately transformed into a handsome young prince. She swooned into the prince's arms. When she awoke, the prince said, "Darling, I'll always be at your side, but aren't you sorry you had me neutered?"
  2. okiegrl

    Mixed emotions

    Lillian ~ When my Ken died last March I had just lost my dog of 14 years 6 months earlier to prostrate cancer. It just about killed me to have to put him down. In fact I didn't want to only wanted to bring him home, but Ken my husband said it would be better for the boy he wouldn't hurt anymore and then he said the most powerful words I will ever recall coming from this man. They treat dogs better than people. At first I didn't understand what he meant, now I do. Any way about a month later he said something about getting another dog. Well at first I just wouldn't have anything to do with it. I mean my friend of 14 years just pasted and felt it would be wrong to do. But Ken knew it would be what I needed. Since he knew he would be leaving me soon. He knew it would bring me the companionship I would need, the love I would need. Let me tell you I am so glad now I got Hause, he's a bull mastif blackmask my BIG gober as I call him. He only knew my husband for about 6 months of his life and when Ken died this dog was what got me up in the morning, washed my face with his kisses, laid his head on my lap, ect.....made me function literally.. even though he only knew Ken for 6 months of his life he knew DA, what we called Ken to him, was not here anymore and I could tell he missed him as much as me. We both needed each other. They listen and do not complain, they love ya even in your worst moments. And they are our best friends in this time. I bet if you really look you will notice she will remind you of him. It may sound strange but they almost take on the character of the master and believe me sometimes I can see Hause do things and I think you know that dog still remembers Ken or better yet here's a funny one, the other night I was laying in bed and just couldn't seem to get myself to go to sleep here was the dog laying on the floor next to the bed and was snoring and you know what - I swear it sounded just like my Ken snoring. I couldn't help but laugh to myself because it was like he was there, in that dog. Next thing I knew I was asleep. So look at your little girl and know she loved him too and she will be your comfort always. They may not be them per say, but in some respects they can show us them. And all you can do is take comfort in knowing she loves you too just as he did. Cause they do.
  3. okiegrl

    Wall of memory

    I too have just come from the Wall of Memory. Its wonderful. With help from Rickey I got my Kenneth on there. Bless you. Now I feel each time I visit he is with me though I know he will always be with me. But now all who visit will see my partner who I shared 23 years with. He was a great person to me and all who knew him. I want to thank each and all for being great listeners for me when I have my moments. And being there with your words of kindness and strength. May all of us stand together and remember those we love and know one day we will be with them again....Peace & Love
  4. okiegrl

    Doors

    One Door closes another will open...I hear this said alot to me and wondering exactly what does it mean??? Do you know that even though its been 10 months since you lost your love, your best friend, your partner your life......that still the pain is there. Good or bad memories hurt. You still cry you still ask why and your still alone. Folks can act sometimes as if oh my God here she goes again.........is it just some are happy its not them? Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years come and went just another day on the calendar. Still looking for work. Got made to early retire 6 months after Kens death from cancer after 22 years of working there. Thank you very much. I know this time I feel I should be renewing myself, but can't seem to. I have hard time moving ahead it seems. I want someone to listen, just listen. No opinions, no judgment none of those things that make you fell worse than you do. Just listen and know for some its still hard, its still unbareable and lonely. I believe in God but sometimes I wonder the WHY of it all. I know he is here but this time I look at it and wonder ok I took care of my grandmother, my mother and now my husband was that it is that why I am here. I get so angry at myself at the world at even poor Ken who died not by his fault some damn dieseas we have not conquered yet....and wonder what is out there for me who am I? When is it going to be better? Why am I here? What do I do? Am I going to get a job that pays me so I can keep the roof over my head? I feel over whelmed people just flat out over whelmed and beat. And quilty for feeling it. Comfort in knowing one door closes another opens is not helping.......... Thanks for listening at least I put it down and that is a burden I will drop here.........get up and tackle another day....
  5. Hello Betty and let me say I feel for you. I lost my husband of 23 years this past March 21st, 2003 to lc after 2 1/2 years of battle and I know your pain sweetie....it hurts like hell you get mad, you wonder if doctors are doing all they can one minute you think all is going to be fine, then wam.......it throws you a curve with a capital C. Take each day to its fullest do not only see the sky but see the blue smell the air see the leaf fall. Enjoy each other even in the pain the sickness. Keep holding to each other every day. Never miss saying I love you. And know always you did everything you could do and keep holding to your faith cause faith love and the folks out here do help you keep on keeping on.......peace and we are here anytime sweetie any time. Cancer is so limited... It cannot cripple love It cannot shatter hope It cannot corrode faith It cannot destroy peace It cannot kill friendship It cannot suppress memories It cannot silence courage It cannot invade the soul It cannot steal eternal life It cannot conquer the spirit.
  6. Just wanted to say hello to all here and introduce myself. My call name is okiegirl, I am 44 years old. I live in TN but originally from OKLA., City, OK. My husband passed away from LC March 21, 2003 after 2 1/2 years of battle with it. We had been married for 23 years. I am here because I have not really had an opportunity to talk with or share with anyone my pain, feelings, ect. Doing this in itself is a new road to walk down. Never have been one to go to chat sites like this. But figuare what can it hurt, right? Maybe it can help me and who knows maybe there is someone out there I can help. Or at least say hey you are not alone. Peace and Love....
  7. Fresca I was very touched by the words and how true they are it made me think of my husband. And any time we think of those we have lost IS AS GOOD THING! Thank you for posting it.
  8. Hello I too have just lost my love of 23 years to LC on March 21st, 2003. For two and one half years we both battled this disease only to see it take him away. Its been 4 months since he passed away ( I count the 21st of each month now). Most of which I have had to deal with by myself. It has really been hard since I do not have any family, children of my own, no father no mother, sister, brother and really not much of friends you know close ones you have known like forever. I always had my husband we were each others family, friend, partner kindred spirit...and you want to talk about the lonelyness. Man somedays I just don't know if I will make it through the day. But you know you do...it does get better ONE DAY AT A TIME. Just like when we were going through all the stuff the doctors, hospital put him through, ONE DAY AT A TIME. People I work with keep saying to me it will get better that I am one heck of a strong lady (somedays I don't think so). I guess it has but the pain never really goes away I think it never does/will. But you learn to manage, get a grip realize somehow he would have wanted me to not stop trying, pick myself up and go on and keep going on. Find the comfort in knowing that one day we will see each other again and it will be like we never were apart....Its not easy, no not at all. I have to learn how to grow, trust myself, DEPEND on myself keep loving GOD even though sometimes I know I have made him mad at me, because of the anger you can feel at times. All of it is a roller coaster ride. One day your up another your not. But I find if you try and keep focused keep telling yourself that there will be someone out there who cares that you will make it past all those holidays, birthdays, aniversaries, certain dates that meant something to you and him. And one day like waking up you can say DARN I made it. But you will always feel the if only, the maybe I should haves. Just don't let it keep you down. I can only hope that one day I am granted the oppurtunity of having another love in my life just as wonderful. Not the same, it couldn't be. But something that will fill me up again and bring back the laugh, the hope, the dreams, the desires and maybe just maybe the knowing I am important and I did all I could and there is so much more I can do. Peace and Love. Keep the chin up and be comforted in knowing they are watching over us. LORD can you imagine they have the POWER NOW....lol
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