kathy86

This very thing happened to my mother in law. Unfortunatley he started in on her when she moved to florida in her 50's. He moved her to his hometown of Chicago, used her all up and left her broke. My husband and I and his father, who had never divorced his mother, went up and moved her back to Indy. She lived with my father in law until his death in 1999. It was not until 2005 that we learned, thru a gal that helped her with errands and housekeeping, that he was not only back in her life.....BUT THEY WERE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!! My mother in law had 3 son's, 2, my husband and one brother lived nearby. We celebrated birthdays,holidays,anniversarys, called frequently and when she was diagnosed with lung cancer and we found out she was abusing precscription anxiety meds, we helped her move to a very nice assited living community. I visited 2 to 3 times a week and brought her anything she asked for. This is where he got to her!!!! I wondered how this had happened? She had a studio apartment, the doors are locked after 9:00pm, every guest has to sign in, it was one 3 story building, not blocks and blocks of apartments!!! He abused drugs too, they failed to notify us when her locked drug cabinet was broken into. It was too high for her to reach, he had to have done it. I guess as long as they got there $1800 a month, who cared? He showed her how to file restraining orders on her 2 sons and myself, full of lies, I went to court twice, after the 2nd time she failed to show up, they dropped the order. They were married in Dec 2005, I got the call I knew would come in July 2006. My mother in law was afraid for her life,she needed us, she was sorry and so on... I told her we would be there no matter what. Her entire life savings was gone, last I had heard she had about $40,000 left, which, with social security would have let her live her remaining years without worries about money. Not only was the money gone, she was another $30,000 in debt on top of that. She had to file bankruptcy, she had left the assisted living facility when she married him and she was living in another one. We once again had trouble with the abuse of meds and I was told by the state we had no choice but to move her to full time care in a nursing home. Medicaid paid for this. Medicare and my father in laws insurance covered her drugs and hospice care. It was about a month after this that I was diagnosed . My mother in law passed away in April 2008. She had made me her POA. I still get call's from creditors. I give them his name, ssn and parole officers name, yes he is an ex con. We did call adult protective services when we first learned of his prescence, but as long as she told them she was safe and happy, there was nothing they could do. They did help when she finally admitted to being scared and abused. I guess the reason for this long e mail is to say THANK YOU Thank you to you and all the people surrounding this women with protection. Thank God she admitted all he had done to her, otherwise, there is very little that can be done. Please tell this wonderful woman she is not alone, there are many victims out there and if my Mother in law had been as strong has she has been, we could have helped her much sooner. She did nothing wrong and these predators should be put in prison, not just made to go away. I don't know that the facility could have done anything. I know I sound bitter toward them, I just wish they had let us know this person was visiting her, again, though, we could have done very little as long as she kept up the facade of being in control of her facalties. Take care, and please give your friend a hug for me. She is truly very brave.

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and positive vibes!!! We are all survivors, all we have to do is wake up everyday I will post the results of my pet scan under the test results etc... column. I won't get them for a week as my Doc is on vacation. Just another week to believe in the power of positive thinking.

Going on 10 months since I was told that I had 2 to 10 months to live. I feel really great for an almost dead person!!! I exercise with oxygen 5 times a week,(the only time I have to use oxygen) eat organic and healthy as much as I can stand, I do cheat and eat out once every week or two. I take supplements and use alternative treatments with my chemo. I have rescheduled my PET for this friday, my husband changed jobs and we had to wait for the typical insurance snafu's. I know the results will be good. My goal is to keep giving the C word what it hates, antioxidant's and oxygen!! THERE, TAKE THAT C WORD!!!!!! Thanks Connie for keeping people aware that every day we awake, we are survivors.

Hi, I was diagnosed around the same time as you were. I did apply for SS disability and was approved. I loved my job but I worked in a Doctors office and the risk of getting sick was not worth it. If you have a stressfull job, don't go back! Attitude has everything to do with healing. You will survive and see your kids grow up, believe that, apply for SS and spend quality time with your family. Laughter is the best medicine and kids can provide so much of that, with little effort for them . Get the book, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, read it, believe it, it works! I haven't updated my profile, but I should. I have a PET scheduled for next month and I expect it to show that I am healthy. Never give up, live, laugh and love. Take Care.

I try so hard to follow what they say about faith. You should only ask once, and then really believe that your prayers are answered. I too struggle with the God's will be done. I prayed that His will is the same as mine, to live many more decades. I recently read the book, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne. This book, like many others before it, talks about the power of positive thinking, positive attitude, positive everything. . When I was little, my Mom's favorite book was "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. My Mom is still the most positive influence in my life. My husband trys so hard, I don't think he can think of my condition in "reality", it's too hard for those so close to us. Faith is really the only answer. Stay positive and keep positive thoughts in your mind, shove the negative ones out the second you know they are there. I imagine being a primary caregiver is more heartwrenching then being the patient. Hang in there. My positive thoughts and prayers are with all.

Thanks to all for your replies. Hearrean, Dr. Otto Warburg discovered the connections between sugar and cancer many decades ago. It is my opinion that most Doctors do not tell us this because it directly links to alternative medicine. Most Doctors can not/will not approve alternative medicines as the FDA will not recognize them as they are not "medicine". Think of the billions of dollars the drug companies would lose if all Doctors could/would recognize CAM as a valid treatment option.(I worked for Doctors offices for years, in the admin field, the drug reps need a revolving door, the money they spend marketing their drugs is disgusting, see this months AARP bulletin, if you need more convincing.) The fermented soy beverage I use, Haelan951, has been a lifesaver. I recently started using Coral Calcium and AHCC. I am still doing chemo at this point, however, Thank you God, with the use of Haelan951, I have not suffered the ill effects of the chemo. I do not believe in the hype that it "interferes with the chemo", in fact, MD Anderson in Houston is currently doing a study on the Haelan951 and how it helps with the side effects of chemo. I know I will be healed from this hideous disease, I have the faith now. It took me a long time to find it. My fondest wish is that the Oncologists would work with the CAM specialist's and quit letting people die from the toxic effect's of chemo. Weight loss, blood clots, tumors bleeding and on and on and on are listed as side effects in the handouts I was given for the taxotere and avastin I am now on. Please everyone out there read about Haelan951 and AHCC, if nothing else. Read the following books... "Beating Cancer with Nutrition", Patrick Quillin "The Cure to Cancer is in your Kitchen", Theodore Daw "Cancer Free, Your Guide to Gentle Non Toxic Healing", Bill Henderson The first oncologist I went to told me I had 2mos to 12 mos to live and that nutrition was not important, eat whatever I could. I truly believe I would be dead or near death now, if I had listened to him. My first visit with that Onc. was my last. Again, Thanks be to God, I have plenty of energy, I exercise at least 4 times a week,I have a ravenous appetite, (it is very hard to stay away from sugar and carbs)my cholesterol,triglycerides,blood sugar and blood pressure are the best they have been in 10 years or more.The only time I was seriously ill was when I had pneumonia in September and guess what? I had stopped taking the Haelan951 just a week prior to the pneumonia setting in. I know that God's will, will be done. I hope his will is the same as mine, to live another 3 or 4 decades, I am 45. I'd like to think I got this disease to get my neices, both 21 years old, to stop smoking and eating fast food. One niece is trying very hard, the other, well I just keep hoping she will learn from my mistakes. They were both stunned when their headstrong, kick butt, take no names, invincible Aunt Kathy was given a death sentence. I have no children, but I love these girls like they were my own. Whew, for those of you who read this far, thanks for letting me get my "opinion" out there. Everyone take care, keep the faith, and fight the good fight. God Bless

I believe the wet refers to the fact that I had a great deal of pleural effusion by the time I was diagnosed. The effusion seems to have slowed down now but the fluid is still in the pleural lining of my left lung. I found the info when I googled IIIB Wet = survival. Did your husband have effusion? I guess I'm really frustrated because my onc mentioned the tarceva again on my last visit, even though on my first visit he said it would be about 2% effective for my cancer. I had to suggest more chemo, got the names and ideas of what I wanted to try be reading here, and he said that was fine. At least he listens, the last onc did not. Thanks for pointing out that the chemo gave your husband the 5 years. I have trouble getting that first onc prognosis out of my head!

Robin, I am so sorry you have to spend one minute alone. My 73 yr old Mom is my primary caregiver, my husband too has to continue to work. Are there any local churches you or any friends attend? I know they have a lot of members who are willing to help when someone is alone. Also, don't be afraid to ask your friends for help. Sometimes they can rotate and dropping by for just 30 minutes or doing some shopping or light housekeeping could help a great deal.

Nikky, Research all alternative treatments. I have been using them with my chemo since I was diagnosed. I really believe in a fermented soy beverage called Haelan 951. It is very expensive, but if you can afford it, it is worth it. My family has helped my husband and I financially because they have seen how healthy I look for someone given 2mos to a year to live. I would never tell someone to abandon chemo completely, but the alternative methods do work! You may want to look up Enrol's page on this site. He is really an inspiration. Good luck and God Bless Kathy

I just read on a medical journal website that persons diagnosed with nsclc stage IIIB Wet, have less than a year to survive and most die within that year with no evidence of distant metastisis. What? Then what do they die of? The only thing I can think of, because the journal did not elaborate on these details, is the toxic effects of the chemo. I'm just so flabergasted that the medical community does this to people. The first onc I saw told me I had 2 mos to a year to live, I was inoperable, radiation was not an option, chemo was the only option and nutrition was not important! What a bunch of bull! I am now 6 months into this and with the help of fermented soy beverages, I have had no toxic side effects from the chemo. My veins are getting weak, they had to call IV therapy at my last ct to get into a vein. NOT ONE DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT CANCER LOVES AND FEEDS OFF OF SUGAR AND I AM A DIABETIC! Sorry for yelling, I have always been a passionate person and this just makes me so angry. Why do they push the chemo drugs? My Dad, God rest his soul, always said "follow the money". I don't mind them treating people with chemo, but they should have a responsibility to have each and every cancer patient speak at length with a nutritionist. How dare they play God. I am scheduled for my next round of Avastin and taxotere on 01-25-08 and it may be my last for now. Does anyone have any ideas on this? How long of breaks have others taken without too much risk? I will never give up my supplements. I am adding ESSIAC tea and coral calcium to the fermented soy beverage. This came from the book written by Theodore W Daw, "The Cure to Cancer is in Your Kitchen". The tea, coral calcium,pynognel,water,exercise and a positive attitude can do wonders. He was diagnosed in 1995 and is still living. I do really appreciate this web site and having others to bounce ideas off of. Thanks and Keep the Faith

I guess I'm a little late in the game, but I would like to say "as a 27 year smoker" that I have been advised that Tarceva would be about 2% to 8% effective for my cancer according to two different oncologist's, because I am a woman who did smoke. I wonder how many billions of dollars were spent on it? I'm glad it's there for the non smokers, however as a "reformed smoker" I really appreciate any and all alternative method idea's out there. I have used them since the beginning of my diagnosis, along with conventional chemo. See Enrol's page as he seems to be a mighty fighter who also uses supplements. It is really hard to keep faith and hope, no person should knock any alternative med and all persons should check into them personally before trying them. Whew!!! I feel much better.

I will state that I have read that oncologist's receive 90% of their income from chemotherapy. I do take supplements and strongly believe in them. Read about Haelan 951 and AHCC. I do take the Haelan 951 and have not suffered any of the side effects of the chemo. My oncologist did ask me not to take my supplements the day before, the day of and the day after my chemo, otherwise he is fine with them. Chemo is poison, but like so many people, I'm scared to totally abandon it for supplements. I think that when used together, they can compliment each other.

I was diagnosed July 2007. A friend of my husbands had done extensive research for his Mother and told us about a product called Haelan 951. I have had treatment with cisplatin/alimta and gemzar/navalbine. I have not lost my hair,have not had any nausea,mouth sores or the multitude of other chemo side effects. The only drawback is the product costs about $50 a day. With the Lords blessing, we have had help from family members, we also refinanced our house. I really believe in this product. I have also heard that AHCC helps with all these side effects and it is not nearly as expensive, I have seen it on web sites ranging anywhere from $125/mo to $160/mo, at the recomended dose of 6 500mg tabs daily for someone with our diagnosis. My sister always looks up companies who sell these products on the Better Business Bureau. Hope this helps. Take care and God Bless.

want to be full of hope. I have had 2 different Docs tell me I have stage 3b and stage 4 nsclc. Yes I was a smoker for 27 years. I quit 2 weeks after my diagnosis with the help of Chantix. I am using several different alternative meds along with my chemo. The one that seems most helpful is Haelan 951. It is about $50 a day, but with family's help, my husband and I are making it. I have not lost any hair, not that that would bother me, nor have I had any really bad chemo hangovers as of yet. That would bother me. They say it's all in my right lung and nodes, no mets yet! Yeah. The haelan 951 is supposed to help with the anti-angiogensis. I stay away from sugar and try to eat as healthy as I can. I pray a lot and try to keep the faith. _________________