Ry

I am so sorry Ann-

How wonderful! I am so happy for your news.

Happy Anniversary! So happy you are doing well!

Congratulations! I am so happy for you. I love your new picture.

I saw the post from her son on facebook-- so sad. She loved that boy so much. My sympathy to her family.

I don't check in as often as I should, but I still check in.

I felt a lot of guilt when I started to date someone else. I think it's because you don't feel single-- there was no break-up, no divorce-- you still feel married. It takes awhile to get past the feeling that you are cheating on your spouse. I know that sounds weird but that's how I felt. I am so glad you are seeing someone. Be happy.

We've lost too many.

That is so cool Beck. Good for you!

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

My sympathy to you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. Rochelle

Judy- I am sorry for what you are (both) going through. Not too many individuals post about what this monster does to relationships and marriages but believe me what you are going through happens a lot. Many people I've been close with on this board have shared the heartache they have gone through with their spouse and felt they were no longer loved. But that said, it can get better. It can make you closer if you work at it. You can make it better than it was before - honest. Let him vent his frustration and talk it out. You've both lost a lot -- don't make it worse by canceling your dream trip. Go to Hawaii. Next time you come this way let me know. I am not that far from Ann Arbor.

How great for both of you. She is very fortunate to have you as a caregiver. I am glad you found a path forward.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband almost 3 years ago. The only thing that was helpful to me in the beginning was talking to other people that had been through the same thing. Other women were a great support to me. If you go to the Grieving forum you will find lots of posts that will help you with things you have to do now, and how to get through this time. If you don't have a friend to talk to then read a book about how others got through things. I posted a great book in the Grieving forum. The beginning of this journey is so hard and extremely painful. A wise women on this board always posted "keep busy, keep busy" -- I took her advice and it helped keep the despair at bay. I am so sorry to welcome you to the club no one wants to join.

What a wonderful tribute to your mom. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Michelle- I am sorry I am late on this. To paraphrase, grieving is not for sissies - it's hard work. You will get to a point where it will get easier - you will be able to talk about him and laugh, and enjoy memories...the crying will be less and less. You'll get there.

I am so glad for you. I know how rare these can be and how comforting.

Congratulations! Maybe if someone opened the freaking pub once in awhile attendance would improve! Man we haven't had a decent pub party in forever. I think Katie's buying. I'll have a beer!

Only you Beck! I hope you found a great dress.

He would be proud of you and you should be proud of you for all you did during his illness. You were a great caregiver and advocate for him, and we were all so sad when he lost the battle. Reading your messages after he passed away and how you dealt with your grief helped me tremendously in dealing with mine. Rest in peace Duke.

Did someone say fine? Good idea! I should fine the Beck but I don't think she could pay it. How about the bus ends up in Michigan September 12th for our walk? You can be the Keg bus team and Becky can be captain. Watcha think Beck?

It's hard to be home -- I remember that so well. When you're away from home you can function but when you get home, your spouse should be there. I did everything I could to keep busy and away from home. One thing I did do was throw out everything that made me think of the cancer - it was good therapy to toss x-rays, meds, water bottle he took to chemo etc. and it worked out a lot of anger. I changed things around to make the space a little different and planned some remodeling projects -- just trying to make the time pass and the house a little different then when we shared it. I was fortunate to have some friends that helped me - ironically one that lost her husband shortly after John passed away. I posted a book recommendation in the Grieving Forum - it helps to read how others have handled their grief and what's normal and what's not. Writing in a journal helped tremendously so it's good you're writing your story. It's hard -- really hard -- but usually after those bad emotional days you have a good one. It helps to let it out. Many of us get what you're going through and we're here to help. Rochelle

Welcome and good luck with the trial. As one of our members used to say, "it's not over till the fat lady sings" so just avoid her! You need a doctor that will fight with you -- we went through 3 before we found the right guy. Let us know how it goes. Rochelle

Your post took me back to the beginning of my husband's illness. We were also in shock and rushed through treatments quickly because his tumor was on the vena cava causing vena cava syndrome. It was such a whirlwind. This site helped me tremendously and I hope it does the same for you. It's very important to get your husband to drink fluids. Dehydration decreases the appetite so if you can get more liquids in him his appetite will improve. One thing we did was to buy a lot of fruit Popsicles and that helped with some calories and fluid at the same time. Hang in there and let us know how things go.

Welcome- You need to get a second opinion if you haven't already. Some doctors are more aggressive than others. A different chemo regimen may shrink the cancer enough that surgery is possible -- or there are drugs like Tarceva that may hold your cancer in check for a long time. Please go to Kasey's story -- her 4th opinion saved her life. I believe she just posted an update. If you read her profile you can see what she went through to be cancer free. Keep reading and researching -- I know how hard this is with kids at home. Keep us posted on your progress.