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The hardest part for me was being at home. I would be fine when I went out of the house and I accepted almost every invitation I was offered. It was hard to be where John wasn't and that was at home. I think I played a game in my mind when I was out of the house that he was at home. It was always hard to go home and not have him there. So accept the invitations and get out. Don't make the mistake I did. I also avoided counseling because I thought I could deal with things and it was a sign of weakness. It was a mistake and if I had it to do all over again I would have started earlier. It wasn't until I had a real wake up call with my older daughter that I knew we needed some help. Don't think of it as seeing a shrink-- ask for a grief counselor-- someone with experience getting people through loss. Whatever you do - get out of the house.

I am so sorry about your husband's diagnosis. I am not clear from your post if you are in the U.S. now or still in Mexico. You may want to consider getting a second opinion as to what your treatment options are. Please keep us posted on how he's doing.

Gail~ I am so sorry for your loss. My sympathy to you and your family. Rochelle

Sheri- I am sorry for your loss. I hope the meeting went well.

Heck with my house I am taking everyone to Ginny's.

One thing that helped me was to start a different bedtime ritual. It was strange to be sleeping alone so I started to read in bed prior to going to sleep. I had never done that before and it helped shut off my mind until I was tired enough to fall asleep. Now when I wake up in the night I grab my book and read until I am sleepy. The other thing I did was to start a journal. I started writing in a journal and told John what I had done that day, vented about things and just got it out on paper. Xanax worked for me also - I posted a book in the sticky area and that book really helped me. I know it's hard. It will get easier.

Frank was just a great guy. He and John talked on the phone several times before Frank passed away. I think it helped them both to talk things out. The chat room has never been the same since the loss of David A, Frank, Bob mac, Judy B, and others. So many losses-- too many losses.

It's a good idea for your son to go also. I had my daughter go for awhile. She had a lot of anger and didn't know how to cope -- it helped her a great deal.

Heck I'm way late to the party Patti -- I am facing Ohio and toasting your survivorship. Here's to seeing Nick married!

I think it's good to be able to talk to someone. Even though I made my appointment for grief counseling we touched on many things. Ask around and see if anyone has a recommendation of a good therapist and go. It's not too late and if you don't go you will always wonder if you should have.

Seven Choices: Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World. Elizabeth Harper Neeld. I am not a self help book person at all but this book is amazing. It helped me a lot. Here's the amazon link so you can look at it. http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Choices-Fin ... 0446690503

Looking back I wish I would have gone to counseling much sooner. I didn't go until after the first year. For some reason our family just fell apart as the anniversary got closer and both my middle daughter and I went. It really helps to talk and vent-- I did a lot of that here.

I had a hard time getting through all the things that have to be done following a death. There is a sticky post I put on after John passed away which might help you. I think the title is something like "can we talk about all the other stuff?" Rich put a link to a list - hopefully it still works. I started out getting through a lot of things and then I just couldn't do it anymore. I still have things that should be done. Social Security went well I thought until the paperwork arrived and it had my daughter Jillian as deceased instead of John. It was a nightmare trying to get it corrected. At one point they said I might have to bring her to the office to prove she was alive! I couldn't believe it. So I hope it goes well for you and you get through it better than I did. Rochelle

Joe B was in a vaccine trial at NIH. You can PM him for details or search his posts about it.

I am so glad you stopped in and updated us on how you are doing. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.

This is our own Lisa O's part of the show. http://link.brightcove.com/services/pla ... 4790910001

Happy Five Day!

I am so sorry to read this. I loved her sense of humor and the support she gave in her posts. My sympathy to her family and friends.

Great job!

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry your back in this -- best wishes for your dad.

I still have one of my best friend from high school and see her or talk to her a lot. It's nice to have someone in your life that has known you since you were 16!

Thank God-- I am so happy it went well.

It's weird isn't it? I often feel guilty that it took losing my husband for things to change in my life.

I am sorry I am late in welcoming you to the board. I am so glad you are going with your mom to her appointment. As others have said, she is at a stage where she has good odds. Keep us posted on how the appointment goes-- we will all be thinking of you.