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shirleyb

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Posts posted by shirleyb

  1. If I had more time.....

    I would sit and watch the wonders of the world instead of just passing them by because I have to be somewhere else,

    I would talk to my children more,

    I would walk more,

    I would have spent more time with those I love who have passed.

    I would write letters and not just make phone calls.

    I would take better care of myself.

  2. Peggy,

    It is good to see you post. All the things you wrote about have a familiar ring to them. I was were you are now two years ago. It seems a life time ago and some days like it was yesterday. I am glad you are taking care of yourself and seeking help when you feel the need.

    I guess what hit me most was what you wrote about Mike. I think the kids take it harder than we realize. It just goes to show how we deal with our grief in our own way.

    You are in my prayers.

    Shirley

  3. Lil,

    As usual, everything came alive in your post. I am glad you made it through the wedding and now that you have some good news about your work. How glad I am for you.

    More importantly, I am impressed and proud of you for not smoking. I have been trying to quit too. I have not gotten quite as far as you but I am working on it. I will get there. (Katie, send me the link too please.)

    You go girl!!!

    Shirley

  4. Ann,

    Dreams sometimes bring us great joy and other times great sadness or confusion. I am glad you got to talk to Dennis. He is still watching over you. Now what would be strange is if the guy he mentioned calls or shows up in the next couple of days.

    I have had some dreams about my family that have been very comforting and then there have been the other ones where I either wake up confused or just plain sad. But like Don, I am always glad I have had them.

    Shirley

  5. My dear Ginny,

    You have been in my thoughts and prayers.

    Raising a toast to you and Earl. I know what 26 years feels like. Like yesterday and a life time. And somehow we go on.

    May you feel Earl with you in your celebration of your marriage and unending love.

    Much love,

    Shirleyb

  6. What name would I choose????? Tinkerbell. She always seems to make magic happen when needed. Atleast that is what my bosses think of me. I am a miracle worker to them. Saved their hinnies more times than not due to their not thinking ahead.

    Use to be known as twinklefingers because I have the "touch" to do massage and make anyone feel better. That was before carpal tunnel set in. Still have the touch though and can give a mean neck/shoulder/head massage...:)

  7. My mothers wedding band as a pinkie ring on my right hand, jeans and a tshirt. I work in an office that is suppose to be professional but I find nothing professional about working in an office attached to a warehouse. So I buck the system and wear my comfy clothes. I might "dress up" meaning I don't wear jeans to work if I have enough notice to get mentally prepared for it.

    Otherwise I wear what fits my mood for the day....:)

  8. Ann,

    I sent you a pm the other day. The feelings you have are real and justified. But now what to do. I hope that you are able to come to a place with your MIL and it lets you feel okay. I can totally understand if you don't ever want to see them again.

    Love you girl. Keep loving yourself and knowing you are doing what is best for you.

    Shirleyb

  9. I always thought that Randy and I would grow old together. Never in my wildest dreams did I think he would get lung cancer and die before we were 50.

    I always thought my "friends" would be here for me after he died and I was wrong. Only two stood by me while I grieved. I found out who my true friends were.

    Thank you Ann for starting this.

  10. It was two years ago today that my best friend, my husband and the father of my children lost his battle with this terrible monster.

    How does one go on? I don't have an answer to that. I just know you do one day and sometimes one minute at a time.

    God has seen fit to bless me still since then. He gave me time to cry, to grieve, to become strong again. He has blessed me with another man in my life that is understanding, caring, compassionate, and who is another soul mate. Someone who can hold me while I still cry for Randy at times and can handle the emotions I still have for him.

    After reading about Peggy's loss yesterday, it just brings me back again to where I was two years ago. I did not think I would be able to continue and I felt I would never be happy or love again like I had with Randy. But God brought me through. Just like He does all those that believe in HIM. God was and is my rock. The one I can turn to when I am lost and in pain. HE has given me comfort in knowing that those I have loved so much in my life and have died are with HIM in heaven.

    I think back to all those who have losted those that have gone through this battle with cancer and know we are choosen ones. We have this support board with wonderful directors and board members that allows us to share and give to each other. I know I would not be where I am today without this place.

    Thank you to each and everyone who is here. You have held me up when I could not stand, you made me laugh through my tears, you have given unselfishly of yourselves, and we have stood by each other through and through.

    So my five for today are these.

    1. I am thankful for today. It means I am alive.

    2. I am thankful for this board. It has given me strength when I thought I had none.

    3. I am thankful for God, for being right beside each of us as we travel our journey's.

    4. I am thankful for my children and friends and especially for Mike. Without them I would be nothing.

    5. I am thankful that Randy is in heaven enjoying the fishing boat with all those we know and love and having the time of eternal life.

    To those that are hurting, I pray for comfort. To those that are still reeling from their loses, I pray the world slows down for you and that the memories you have will sustain you. To those that have made this board a safe place for all of us, I pray God continues to bless you.

    May we all have peace in our lives. May we all realize the blessings we have in our family and friends. May we all feel the power of love, hope, and faith. May we all get the hugs we need that help us to carry on. May God bless each of us and hold us in the palm of HIS hand.

    I know Randy will always be in my heart and I know he wanted me to be happy again. That is now my mission. To live each day as if it is my last. To dance as if no one can see me, to sing even though I can't carry a tune, to tell those that I love how much I love them everytime I talk to them. To share my faith. To share my story so others can learn from my mistakes.

    Praying for us all.

    Much love,

    Shirley

  11. Peggy,

    I am so very saddened by this news. I am so sorry that you are in the pain you are in at this time. I understand it only too well. My husband died two years ago tomorrow and his death too was so very unexpected.

    I am so sorry.

    May God and family be your rock in the days and weeks to come.

    Much love and understanding.

    Praying for us all.

    Shirleyb

  12. Nancy,

    There is nothing that can be said that you don't already know. Just understand that there are many of us here that know what you are going through as we too have been there.

    I know when Randy died, I cried rivers of tears for many long days. I can't remember when I stopped crying every day but it has been almost two years now, and I still cry for him even though I have started moving on with my life.

    I have a new man in my life that has been so supportive and understanding that there are days I still cry for Randy. As he said, Randy was a hugh part of my life for so long, that if I didn't cry about him he would think something was wrong.

    Each of us will travel this path at a different pace but it is a path we travel.

    In time the pain eases but it never goes away. I am glad you are posting still as I too found this site to be a life saver. There are just somethings you can't talk to your kids about but here, anything goes.

    May God hold you close and may you feel His comforting hands holding you.

    Much love,

    Shirley

  13. I think Katie pretty well said it. Just stay involved with your mom. What she is going through is really normal. The first year and a half for me was very hard to get through.

    Just stay involved with your mom and let her know you are there.

    Much love.

    Praying for us all.

    Shirleyb

  14. Karen, Faith, Becky and the rest of the Chapman family,

    There are no words to convey the sorrow I feel at hearing about David. It is so so sad.

    I am not going to say how strong you all are because I don't think any of us are strong. We are survivors!! Somehow God helps us to walk the path we are on and continue on living.

    I pray that the Lord holds you close in His heart and that you find comfort in your memories of Dave. He was a very special man and I know he is missed.

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Praying for us all.

    Much love,

    Shirleyb

  15. Lenda,

    What you are feeling is quiet normal to be honest. Some people heal sooner than others but from what you have gone through, I would imagine it will take time.

    I too lost my husband, just 34 days after we found out he had cancer. It is such a shock and horrible nightmare. I was fortunate enough though that one of Randy's nurses directed me to this site. It has been my life saver.

    This is the place to come to vent, rage, cry, scream, and also to share the good times. There are a number of us who have been in your position and everyone here will be a great support to you.

    I am so sorry you lost your husband. The pain it creates is like no other. Be kind to yourself and come here often to work through your emotions. In time the pain does ease but like I said, some heal sooner than others.

    Praying for us all.

    Shirleyb

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