shirleyb
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Posts posted by shirleyb
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Andrea,
I am so sorry that life has taken this turn for you. I know only too well what this is like as my mother is also not doing well at this time.
You and your family are in my prayers that God grants you what you need to get through this.
All my love,
Shirleyb
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Well, the surgery was done. The outcome is still to be determined. They removed a tumor the size of a large grapefruit. They were able to stop the bleeding and they determined the cancer has spread to the liver, the stomach, and the pancreas. Mom is still on a ventilator and heavily sedated. Not that doctors are Gods, but I think it is a good guess that it will only be a matter of a short period of time until she is able to be at peace. It is hard to let go but it is harder to know she is in pain and suffering and is somewhere she does not choose to be. She told my sister before going into surgery that she just wants this all to be over and that she is ready to die. She is so tired and in so much pain. She has been through so much the last 4 months that it is no wonder.
Please keep her in your prayers.
Praying for us all.
Shirleyb
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just an update.
Mom had a stroke Thursday night or Friday morning. They are not sure when it started. My brother found her unresponsive on Friday morning when he checked on her. Needless to say, she is in the hospital now. Other information we have since found out. When they did the colonoscopy, they punctured the colon which has caused her to be bleeding since Thursday afternoon. (Could be why she was so weak and unresponsive.) They also found the cancer has spread to her liver. She is in surgery right now as I am typing this to have the puncture repaired and the 7 inch tumor removed. We are now just praying that she is able to make it throught the surgery. I was able to talk to her this morning before they took her in so I am very thankful for that.It gave me one more time to tell her how much I love her. Atleast now she is able to talk again. You can't really understand her that well but I could tell what she was trying to say. Last night she could not move anything but her eyes. She could not swallow, move anything, talk, etc.
So if you have an extra prayer to spare, I would sure appreciate it.
I am hanging in there. I have faith that either God will be with us no matter what the outcome.
Praying for us all.
Shirleyb
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Thank you all for your input. I am really hoping they do the ct at the very least before they do surgery.
Thank you all again.
Shirley
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I know I don't post like I use to but I really need some knowledge here. My mother has not been doing so well for a while now. She had some major surgery for an anysurm back in early Dec. She had lots of complications due to having COPD. Since that time she really has not gotten better. Just before she got out of the hospital they did the colon scope because she was bleeding from the colon. Well today I found out she has a large tumor going from the large to the small colon. They did a biopsy today. My question is this. What other tests can she have done that are not invasive. CT, CAT, MRI ??? Which is the better one to go with. They have not done any of those yet. I want to be able to come to the table with good suggestions to help her get the right treatment. Due to the state of her health I am concerned that it has already spread to other areas and I want to see what would be best for her. Quality of life or go for treatment. At this stage in her life I don't believe she could handle chemo or radiation. She is too weak physically to handle it.
Mr. Don Wood, I know you know alot about this. Got any suggestions? One other issue is this. She lives in Ohio and I am in Minnesota, so I am not there with her. My brother is doing all he can to be there for her, but I want to be able to give him questions to ask so we/she can make an informed decision as to what to do next. The tumor has to be removed we know because it almost blocking the colon already. Please share your knowledge with me so I can help her in her journey.
Thanks to all.
Shirleyb
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Are you awful for not wanting to give a gift? No way, No how.
Since she has told you what she thinks of you, why would anyone in their right mind buy into "Oh she is having a baby, isn't that wonderful?" I honestly think some people in this world need to have a permit to breed. Just because they can, does not mean they should. My heart goes out to the baby that would have a hypocrite for a parent. Imagine what that child will go through in life. Yikes it is scary.
Work is a place you go to to earn the money you need to LIVE. Work is not your life. If you have made friends with those you work with that is great. But just because you work with someone does not make them worthly of your friendship. Consider the fact that you have to do her work for her already is a gift unto itself.
I read a quote a long time ago that was to the effect of your reputation is what others think of you, your character is what matters. Be true to yourself.
I have been there and done this type of thing before. It is not worth the heartache and concern it is causing you.
Nowhere in an employers hand book does it say you have to participate in this type of activity. No one should be made to feel that they have to give a gift to a co-worker that they don't care for. And some places conside this activity harassment and is not allowed in the work place.
IMO if you want to have a social event such as this, take it outside the work place. I am sure your employer will be just giddy to know they are paying out wages some to have a party on company time.
I wish you the best in dealing with this.
Shirleyb
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May you and Lucie have many more days like to day.
Happy birthday to Lucie and her knight in shining armor!
Shirleyb
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Andrea,
Because you make me smile and brighten my day with your comments on life, I donated too.
I hope we all make you pay the full amount.
Thanks for the motivation to do this.
Shirleyb
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Sharyn,
I think alot of us feel alot of the same emotions about how our loved one has died.
I know for me I felt alot of the same things. The would have, should have, could have's. But I did something after Randy died that maybe others have not done. I got his medical records.
When I first got them I read them but did not read them calmly. I was looking for what I could have done to make things easier for Randy and what else I could have done for him not to have pain like he did. I re-read those records a couple of weeks ago.
There was nothing I or anyone else could have done to stop him for passing on. He was given everything that could have been done for him to help him with his pain and to make him comfortable. It was just his time to go. Nothing I could have done could change what God's plan was. It took me along time to accept that what happened was totally out of my hands and in the hands of God.
Had Randy survived his heart attack, he too would have lived an invalid. He would not have wanted to live that way, nor would he want for his family to have to suffer through that with him. God's way was to take him quickly to end his suffering on this earth. It is not easy to accept, but it is reality.
I wish you the best of luck in coming to terms with what you did was the best that you could have done and that your father died peacefully and with the dignity and grace that we all hope for when our time comes.
My heart goes out to you. It will take you some time, but you will come to understand as the rest who have replied have done.
Much love and peace,
Shirleyb
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Ginny
I wish you the best in your new home. I know it is hard to leave the house that Earl built. You will always have your memories with you and Earl will always be watching over you dear.
Good luck in moving.
Shirleyb
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Connie,
Thank you oh so much for posting this reading. You will never know how much it has helped me today.
You see, it has been 15 years since my father passed today. And it is now 18 months since Randy died. The pain of missing them both has been eased with this reading. Thank you again for sharing.
Shirleyb
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Jim is gone
in GRIEF
I am so sorry to read of Jim's passing. Words cannot express the profound sadness this brings.
My heart and prayers go out to you and the family.
Shirleyb
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Joanie,
I know this situation all too well. After my husband died, those that I thought would be there for me to help me through, were gone like dust in the wind. I have one friend that has stuck around.
The rest I assume are just too afraid. This struck them hard and they realize it could have easily been them. When you are afraid of something you run from it normally and I assume this to be true. Maybe it isn't but it is the only way I can rationalize it and accept their behavior. In the meantime I have to go on.
I am sorry his "best friend" turned out to not be his best friend. It hurts and there is no way to get around it.
My best to you and your husband.
Shirleyb
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Rose,
I have not been in that situation, I had a couple of months before I went back to work because I was unemployed at the time.
I know it will be difficult but since everyone knows what has happened, I hope they are considerate to you and treat you with only kindness.
You are in my prayers.
Shirleyb
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Congratulations on your 17th anniversary. May you have many many more to come.
Prayers that your test come out good.
Shirleyb
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Fay,
You have made my day!!! I am so glad you got good news.
shirleyb
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Lisa,
I am glad your onc was very honest with your Gram and that she has her wishes granted.
I only wish you both the best. I am sure you already understand to make good use of the time you have left with her.
Wishing you both enough.....
You are in my prayers.
Shirleyb
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It was pretty much the same for me. The sadness comes in waves for me. The first's were the hardest but for the first three months after Randy died, The sadness was acute.
It is pretty normal to feel what you are feeling. Be kind to yourself and just get through it. Someone posted a while back, that you can't go over it, you can't go around it, you can't get underneath it, you have to go through it. The journey is not something I wish on anyone, but a journey it is. You have lots of company.
Talk it out with those that know what you are going through. We will help you on this path.
May God give you peace in your heart.
Much love,
Shirleyb
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Shannon,
I am so sorry for the pain you are going through as I know it only too well. I was the same after Randy passed. It was hard to go on living.
Be kind to yourself. You have the right to greive.
May you someday find some peace with what has happened. I know the pain does not go away, we just find a new normal.
Much love,
Shirleyb
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Thank you all for sharing.
I think of Randy all the time. Last week when I had to take my daughter in for her surgery, I was really missing him. It was/is still very hard to do somethings without him at my side. I counted on him always being with me and at times I am so lost. I know he is watching over us but damn, I wish he were still here.
Thank you all again for being here. I am so happy for those of you who are having your dreams. I have had mine and I know how special they are. To those that have not had their dreams yet, give it time. They will come and I know you will remember them for a long time.
Much love to all.
Shirleyb
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Does anyone else do this? Each night before I go to bed, I think of Randy. Every morning when I awake, I think of Randy. He is always in my thoughts but it seems he is always there first thing in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. I miss him so.
Love,
Shirley
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Rose,
Everytime I read of another one passing, I feel this profound sadness. I am so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers.
Shirleyb
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Fay,
I pray that God holds Phillip in the palm of His hand and gives you both the comfort and support that you both need to get through this. You are both in my thoughts and prayers and always will be.
Shirleyb
Mom
in GRIEF
Posted
Thank you everyone for your kind words.
Mom's passing has been oh so different than Randy's was. I am at peace with her being gone because I told her to go. Funny how it is. All my brothers and sisters were there with her and no one could tell her it was okay to go. I called her about an hour before she died and had my brother hold the phone to her ear. I told her I loved her and that she was my best friend. I told her I would miss her, but that it was okay to go. She suffered a very great deal these last few weeks and there was no reason for her to stay here. Dad was waiting for her. She passed away very shortly after that. When I got to Ohio, my sister asked me if I told her it was okay to leave. Sis said Mom got very peaceful afterwards and died very quietly. Sis said no one there could tell her to go. It was like they were all waiting for me to say it was okay. I have alot of emotions at this time about Mom and Randy. Randy's death shook me to the roots of my soul. It has been a very hard 20 months. Mom's passing is/has been a blessing. She lived along life and her and I had a great time together. I saw her just a month ago and am so thankful for the time I had with her. I am going to miss her I know, but she will always be with me. She was my rock that gave me shelter when I was lost and scared. She will be my angel for now on.
Thank you all again. May God grant us the strenght to carry on every day and be thankful for His kindness and comfort.
Praying for us all that we may be so blessed.
Shirleyb