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shirleyb

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Posts posted by shirleyb

  1. I know I don't post a whole lot on here. I read everyday and you are all in my prayers.

    I just wanted to say thank you to all that are here and walking this journey that we call life. We are all at different steps in our journey but it is and has been a blessing for me to see each of you here and to have you sharing. Some times I think to myself, I have been so blessed because my burden is not nearly as bad as yours, other times, I know I have been there too. And I give thanks that I saw the miracles and blessings that I have been given.

    So many times I read about someone and just don't know how to respond. Just know I think about you and keep you in my prayers.

    With the holidays coming upon us so soon now, please remember to be good to yourself first and foremost. Remember to honor your soul and follow your heart. Try not let "society" rule what you choose to do. We all have been down that path before trying to make others happy when it costs us our souls.

    Stay strong and keep the faith. I will keep praying, just as so many others are doing also.

    Thank you again for letting me be a part of this wonderful site.

    Much love to all. Praying for each of us.

    Shirleyb

  2. Janet,

    Right now it seems there is a hugh void in your life. In time you will "see" your mom. I know for me, as I grow older, my mothers hands are my hands, I tell things to my kids that my mother told to me. I find myself being more like my mother is some respects. That is how I know my mom is still around. I think of her often and just look at my hands to remember how her hands looked. I know she is with me.

    The same is true of my husband. The kids will say or do things that are totally their fathers way. Either how they say something or their body language. I look in their eyes and I see their father. He is still with us also. Just in a different form.

    Our loved ones live on in our hearts. They always will be there.

    Wishing you peace.

    Shirleyb

  3. Nancy,

    I am sorry you are feeling the pain so acutely. I can remember being that way too not too long ago.

    As for the holiday's coming up, I know the first year after Randy died, I felt the same way too. The only way I got around the ba hum bug feeling was to remember what the holiday truely is for. It is not for shopping or getting sucked into what the businesses want our money for, it is for the birth of Christ. So don't feel obligated to fall into the commercialism trap. Remember what the real meaning is and follow your heart. It is just another day really.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Shirleyb

  4. Lil,

    Cry if you must but smile when you can. That is how Johnny would want to see you .....smiling knowing that you know he loves you and is watching over you always.

  5. I am glad you have a plan of action. I really pray that you get good news. Just remember we are all here for you anytime.

    Praying for all of us.

    Love ya kid.

  6. Lori,

    While I have read your posts in the last weeks and followed them, I am at a loss for advise.

    I wish you the best in getting the "game playing" to come to a stop. None of you have time for it and most of all your mother needs to understand that too.

    She needs to be focusing on what is going to help her feel as good as she can for as long as she can. Wasting energy on petty issues is not going to do her any good, nor is it doing any of you any good.

    You are in my prayers.

    Shirleyb

  7. Shellie,

    What did you find out? I have been watching and waiting patiently, now I want to know how you are doing. Please give us an update.

    Love you girl.

    Shirleyb

  8. This was my third Thanksgiving without Randy and the first without my mom.

    Funny how time has a way with me. The pain eases.

    I remember them both with love and tenderness but I also realize I have alot to be thankful for. I have my kids, my friends, my support board here, and I have new relationships.

    I heard my mothers voice yesterday. I called my brother who lived with my mom and he has not changed the voice message on the phone. There was mom's voice. It was nice to hear it.

    I know my mother is out of pain and not suffering. Something to be thankful for. I know Randy too is in a better place. Along with my father and a number of other good people I call friends. I miss each of them.

    But time continues on and so too does my life. It is ever changing and I am learning to adapt to those changes. It takes longer with some things than other and each of us will change as time goes on.

    But the holiday's do bring back the memories. I try to focus on the good ones and not the sad ones. And I remember to make new ones each time I get to spend time with those I love.

    I am thankful.

    May we all find peace within our selves to be the best we can be in order to honor those we have loved so much.

    Praying for us all today and everyday.

    Shirleyb

  9. I did not get angry until after Randy had passed away.

    Then I got really angry when I got his medical records from the last five years and found out what I did. Not going there now.....

    I also found I got angry around the holiday's when I would see "couples" together and knew that Randy was not going to be coming back.

    In time the anger passed and a great saddness settled in. It took time, but as the saying goes, time heals and made the pain ease.

    The anger is pretty much gone but there are still days when it hits and I have to bite it back.

    Anger will not bring Randy back. I just have to learn and remind myself of what I have learned and be smarter in the future.

  10. Kim,

    I am glad you have gotten this far. I know it has to be hard for you because I am in your father's position with my children. It has taken them time to get use to the idea that there is someone else in my life too. I just keep praying that all of them come to the same understanding and acceptance that you have come to with your father. Your fathers new love will never replace your mother and she probably will not try to. But if you and she can become friends, then it will enrich not only your life, but her's too. It will also bring your father happiness.

    I am happy for you. Bring on the party!!! You know your mother would want your happiness and your fathers happiness too.

    Shirleyb

  11. Considering all the issues you have stated, I think Ry has the right idea. You might also check with them to find out if they do want you all to be constantly visiting like you are. They may not need it at this time so much but down the road they may. The other idea I was thinking about was checking with their card buddies and see if they are able to check in on the folks for you too. Atleast give them your names and number incase someone needs to call or update you on a change of events.

    I wish you the best in this. I know how hard it is to be a distance away and not able to help as much as you would like to. But if you can atleast have contact with them and maybe a few others that are closer to them it would make it easier for all of you.

    Best of luck.

    Shirleyb

  12. Donna,

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your brother Mark. There are no words to take away the pain you are in right now. I pray that you are able to find peace in that Mark is no longer suffering.

    Praying for us all.

    Shirleyb

  13. Stacy,

    I have thought of it that way many times...I also think of what my father told me when he had his first heartattack when he was 49 and his heart stopped. He told the story of how peaceful it was and how beautiful it was and how he got to see his family again. He also told of how God held him in his arms and told him it wasn't his time yet and sent him back to us. That story has always given me peace of mind. I know that is where my loved ones are that have passed before me.

    Praying for us all.

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