Hope J.

I just read about the lung cancer vaccine on a newscrawl on msnbc - so far I haven't heard them report about it. What wonderful news, I'm going to try and find more news about this.

Bettina - you sound very depressed and I think you might benefit from some bereavement counseling. There might be a group that meets associated with your local hospital - or if you have a church - they may have a group or some advice. Life is a precious gift - there is meaning to your life and it sounds like you might be having difficulty seeing that and learning to live differently without Richard. I hope you try reaching out, maybe making small changes to help you move on - not forgetting but learning to live differently. Pls take care, Hope

Lori You expressed yourself very well, your pain and love for your husband really touches all who read your post. I too wish I had answers for you, but none of us can explain why such sad and unfair things happen. At times like this you may find comfort in your religion, or sometimes you are angry at God for what's happened - but this is normal. It's going to take time - measured in months-year or more to not feel so devastated as you do now. Don't deny your emotions, but I do think you should try and find some help - a supportive group dealing with the loss of their spouses etc to get you through this very difficult time. Just like your husband and you sought medical experts and help for his disease, you need to take care of yourself. Your husband is counting on you to be there for your beautiful sons....and you will find the strength somewhere each day to just get through the day as you need it. Let people help you - right now you need it and your sons need it too. You will amaze yourself someday that you survived the loss of your husband and it may help you to know and feel he's with you, in your heart and mind - so you might try to remember what he would say to you when you are very down in the dumps - It may carry you when you need it. I will be praying for you and your sons, please take care. HopeJ

Dave, I like your method of showing people what they are really doing when they ask "well, did they smoke?" or seem to assume if people smoked, well they deserved this horrible disease. I have had to shut people down myself, because it's this annoying smug attitude they get when they realize the friend I'm so sad about dying of cancer is also a former smoker. These aren't mean people normally, but they really step over the line so I shut them down myself - usually just saying NO One deserves this disease...or I turn the conversation into the present, and how we can help my friend or her family that are suffering so much.

That was really a lovely tribute to your brave doctor. It must've took extraordinary strength and will to continue his work - caring for all his cancer patients - while he struggled along with them. He could never leave his job at home - like some doctors can - and have to - to keep some healthy balance. A few years ago, a beloved local Gen.Practiciner died of cancer - and most of his patients never knew how sick he was. He was also fairly young, and left behind a wife and young children. I'll remember your doctor in my prayers, thanks for sharing that.

Your post and tribute to your mom really touched me - You poor thing, I wish I could give you a hug! There is no easy way to grieve for someone you loved so much - You are going through one of the hardest things anyone ever has to deal with - losing your beloved mom - and so there is no perfect way to act. Sometimes you'll just cry at the littlest thing, and then other days you may find yourself laughing at a memory or something funny you know your mom would have found funny too. It does get better, because time just passes and the strong pain you feel gets a bit smaller - so that you don't hurt so much when you think of her. Talk to her in your thoughts & prayers , and about her to others - I think that helps - Find something to do - exercise if you feel up to it, it will make you feel better about yourself, or consider taking a course in some school - these distractions will help you move on. Also, think about what your mom would say to you if she saw you so sad and depressed - you know she wanted you to be happy and be able to move on as she must've done when she lost parents & others in her life. Sometimes we're stronger than we think we are, and that's what will get you through all of this. Take Care....... HopeJ.

The picture you posted of your mother really gives us insight on her personality and how much you are fighting for her too the best you can. About being in denial, I don't think you are not facing the cancer or challenges in front of your mom - you're here on this message board and you are looking for information and answers. People who are really in denial don't do that, because they completely ignore the diagnosis and sometimes even avoid the person. I think you handle what you can - somedays you can be overwhelmed with what's going on, other days you do best forgetting the cancer and enjoying the moments with your loved one. It's great you see your mom for all the wonderful unique things she does (I loved the taking directions from a 3yr old) I think she's inspirational with all she's been through and how she's fighting this horrible disease. I wish her less pain, I hope the doctors work on managing that. Your love for her really shines through! I'm Praying for her too!

So sorry to hear this very sad news. I will think of you tomorrow and pray for your dear Jennifer, you and your family tomorrow and the days to come.

Hi betty - that is amazing! Why don't you post your story here, so many can read it and be encouraged! What stages were your cancers and what treatments did you recieve? Thanks for sharing in advance

It must be a texture thing between the donut she can manage, and not the banana. When my friend is having swallowing problems she's managed to drink those liquid supplements, but she really likes frozen creamsicles - it tastes good and soothing...maybe some others have better suggestions. I know this is so hard to want to do something and not be able to fix it. Hope things get better soon

I'm so sorry to hear that he won't be able to get to Sloan....I agree you should discuss with him, your mom and the doctors/nurses about putting him on a ventilator. These are such difficult times for all of you and I really feel your pain and love for your father in your posts. I think you've done very well being a great advocate for your father and you'll continue to help him in these final days. I will keep all of you in my prayers for strength and peace when the time comes. Take Care......

Thanks for the Welcome KatieB! I love the picture of you and your dad, he looks like he's got a great personality and you are wonderful to read here too....

I found this site several months ago (probably in April). I've been lurking ever since, but now I decided I really would like to participate and interact. So many of you are so courageous and I have kept you all in my prayers through these last few months when I came here to read and become informed. My friend was dx in April '03 with 3rd stage sm.cell lung cancer, I believe it has spread but how bad we don't know yet. She has had 3 chemo treatments and they want to try and take out part of her lung and lymph nodes. She's been having headaches though and they are worried it has spread to her brain. She's scheduled for more tests now to determine that...this is such a horrible disease robbing people in the prime of their lives. She's a fighter, and I'm a fighter - I want to help her live everyday she can to the fullest. I also am trying to be a big support to her worried husband and kids. This week we'll know more about how tough a battle it's going to be