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Posts posted by glo

  1. That is a perfectly beautiful, wonderful tribute, Deb. I'm so sorry you lost him and glad you have so many beautiful memories. No, there aren't enough of them, but there never would be no matter how many years we have together.

    I know your Dad is still very proud of you. He remembers.


  2. Yeah, Peggy -- Good luck with that resolution! You can stay off this board. I've done it many times - heheheh - sometimes for a whole day! :wink:

    Seriously, I understand how addicting it is. There are just so many of us and we have to keep up with everybody! It takes a lot of time. Like Norme, my laundry is waiting for me and I need to turn off the water out front, etc. etc.

    Norme - you made a typo that I like -- describes it better. Instead of buzzer you typed busier -- I like that. Shut up dryer noise, I'm busier with something I like better. :lol:

    Thanks for letting us know Peggy, so we won't worry. Look in on us now and then -- and hurry and get caught up! We'll miss you.


  3. Katie,

    Do you think a sticky post at the top of the My Story forum that says PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING would help? I read the rule to not respond there, but later couldn't remember where I read it and didn't see it in the forum. I think it's a good rule, because too many responses to one story would quickly kick other stories too far down to be noticed.


  4. Cindi -

    I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Wow, what a strong mother. I agree with the others that you've shown that you inherited that strength from her and you will get through this-- you never get over it.

    As one who has been where you are and is just a little further down that road, I can tell you "Yes, it will get better" -- but it takes time -- and it also gets worse. It's not a straight line - some days are good - some are bad, but now, 10 months after my husband's death, the good days are beginning to outnumber the bad.

    Just be kind to yourself and don't hold it all inside thinking that you should be able to get over it. I think it's a big surprise to everybody just how deeply a loved one's death affects us. It's almost a physical pain.

    There are many of us in this forum who will be glad to listen if you want to vent. Feel free to PM me or any of the others who have lost loved ones. We understand.

    Hugs and prayers going out to you, Cindi.


  5. Good luck on your new job, Nancy. I'm sure you'll do fine.

    I saw the post you're talking about, but can't remember where -- duh -- I seem to have the short term memory prob too!

    Seriously, I also work in an office -- with lots of computer docs, and detail stuff. I don't have cancer and haven't had any kind of medical treatments for years -- not taking any meds, but I'm worried somewhat about my memory. Of course I am dealing with the stress of grief, but it doesn't seem to fully answer the memory thing. And some of it I had before my husband's diagnosis.

    I think it was in 2000 that I made reservations and flew by myself to visit family in Maryland. I had told the family my itinerary over the phone and left a copy of it on the frig at home in CA and I carried a copy. In the process of making the reservations, I had been considering two dates for return and finally settled on one. Sometime after I arrived in MD I somehow became convinced that I was returning the day after my actual booked date (the second date I had considered). In spite of my sister saying you told us you were leaving on the 16th and my husband asking over the phone are you still coming home on the 16th? I was fully convinced that I was coming home on the 17th. So much so that I didn't even get out the itinerary to check :roll:. I went to bed on the 16th and about midnight woke with a mental picture of the itinerary clearly showing the 16th and sat bolt upright in bed -- checked it. Yep -- I shoulda flown home today! Called the airline right away and got a change -- luckily only paid $50 for changing the flight -- it's more now. Could not believe I had done that!

    That's been one of the biggest memory goofs I've made, but more recently I've turned the water on to water the roses, forgot it for hours; walked out in the garage and discovered the garage door had been up for a couple hours; I frequently have to go back and double check that the doors are locked because I can't remember by the time I get in the car if I checked them or not. I showed up at a routine lab test only to be told your appointment was yesterday! Enough memory stuff that my daughter laughingly says she doesn't think it'll be long until she finds me aimlessly wandering the streets. :P

    I find that I don't have as much trouble at work as I do at home for some reason. I guess I hold myself more accountable there and am more lax at home. I use more post-it notes now and thank heaven for the computer reminders I can set. I'd never make a meeting without them. :shock: I've also let friends at work know that I won't be insulted if they remind me of things -- I appreciate it.

    At home, I bought a small timer that I can take with me from room to room -- and I set it whenever I turn on water, the stove, anything that really needs to be turned off timely. I recently saw a timer on a cord to wear around your neck. I'm gonna buy me one of those -- soon as I can remember where I saw it! :wink:

    Really, I think you'll be ok -- just rely more on notes and reminders. I really hate doing that because my memory used to be one of my really strong traits. I guess nothing lasts forever! And many of my friends who aren't under medical treatment for anything have also remarked about memory failures. Must be something in the air!

    Best wishes.


  6. Don -

    I love reading your posts. You are taking such good care of your mother -- and you still have your sense of humor.

    My mom (90 years old) isn't even sick, and it takes all four of my sisters to keep up with her shopping, cleaning, doctor apptmts, etc. (I'm 3,000 miles away, so I don't take my turn :cry:) When she broke her hip a few years back they all took turns staying with her and it wore them all out.

    It's amazing that you are doing all of the caregiving yourself!

    Tell that doctor to stop talking about side effects. Every time he mentions one, sure enough your mom comes down with it! Enough already!

    And, oh my gosh, yes -- thank heaven for insurance for prescriptions. Prescription medicines have gotten totally out of hand!

    Keep on keepin' on!

    Best wishes


  7. Yep -- see, here we are wondering what your original post was.

    (I get that you're scheduled/tentatively scheduled or something for surgery, but with added info. you're now worried that you can't have it.)

    Whatever the case, Cat, I think Hebbie gave good advice to try your best to get all the doctors talking together so you're sure of what the situation is.

    Wishing you the very best with whatever treatment you get, and please don't give up on any options -- just proceed with caution. Boy, do I know how hard getting straight answers and being sure the doctors collaborate is! You just get a snippet here and a piece there.



  8. So thrilled for you Becky. And that ball bat you're gonna take with you when you go down those stairs with Cheryl? I'm gonna look for mine in the closet and dust it off for when 3 months rolls around again. Just give a holler and I'll bring it out to help chase those monsters off.


  9. Snowflake -

    Sorry your concentration level is not good for reading right now. Sure hope they figure out the right thing to do about your problems. I'm sure some of it is the stress. My husband was in the hospital nearly a month and I carried a book (the same book) around with me all of that time and never managed to read more than a chapter. Even after his death, I couldn't read -- yes, staring at the TV is something I've done a lot of. Occasionally can even tell you what I watched! :D The book I carried was "SeaBiscuit". Only book that ever took me six months to read, but I finally finished it.

    I can in some ways identify with your not stopping at red lights. I have walked out into the garage to find that my garage door has been up for over two hours. I've gotten up in the morning to find I didn't lock the front door the night before. I've gotten on the wrong bus and took two hours to get home when it should have taken 30 minutes. And I'm on no meds at all! Maybe I should get on some. :wink:

    So I certainly think that with all you've been going through, it's no wonder you have these problems, and there's every reason to think they will improve. Hope the "mapping" does the trick.

    Anyway, yeah -- I'm proud, too, that your boy is reading! My girl is 30 years old now and she's never without a book for long and I'm sure reading is what helped her the most thoughout school and college. Doesn't really matter what they read -- there's something to be learned in every book and just establishing the habit makes it so much easier to learn all other subjects.

    P.S. I LOVE his dragon-slayer picture.


  10. Great Cat!

    Knew you'd have to stick around to see what happens to Harry Potter!

    Yes, your message could definitely help others. I know many, many of us reading this board have thought -- if not about suicide -- just about what a relief it would be to have the pain and suffering (whether physical or emotional) over and done with. The end of pain for one, causes increased pain of another sort for those left.

    Have a good weekend, Cat.


  11. Cat, I'm not sure what to say here.

    I'm not sure either why you chose to post this, but from some of your other posts, suicide seems to be flitting in and out of your head.

    I hope you posted this to assure yourself and us that you KNOW that suicide -- although it eliminates all pain and problems for the one who commits it -- gives a deep and lasting grief and feeling of waste to those who are left to contemplate it. And that you would never want to cause that pain for those who love you.

    Cat -- we all love you here. Please, if you are feeling suicidal, get some professional counseling. And if you need to talk, please PM me.

    I care about you.


  12. Snowflake -

    Isn't that terrific? I just love when kids realize how much fun reading is. Those who grow up not learning to read well and hating it are really at a disadvantage in the work place. Some are able to overcome it through other skills, but reading is important in every job.

    We have a 26 year-old former marine who works in our office. His telephone manner is impeccable, he sounds so professional and he has a pretty good vocabulary. And a really good heart -- always willing to do anything he's asked. He learns quickly verbally and hands-on, but give him a manual or ask him to study for a test and he's toast. He reads very slowly and doesn't like to read.

    And reading is great for going places in the mind where our cares don't exist -- for me it works better than TV or movies.

    Go, Harry Potter!


  13. Oh, Cat -

    I've not been in the spot you are in and I have no right to think that I know how you feel, but I can FEEL the panic and despair in your post.

    I've been reading your posts for a while now and you have so much to offer us all. Even when you're feeling down, you still reach out with support for others who need encouragement.

    Please try and hold on until you get the reports interpreted, and give yourself a little time to digest the news - whatever it may be.

    Hang on, Cat -- we've sent for Harry Potter! :)


  14. Don -

    Just have to tell you how impressed I am with the way you take care of your mother and are so down to earth with your thoughts and feelings. Some of this personal care stuff is touchy even with husband/wife or mother/daughter. I sure understand when you say your mother -- if in her right mind would never put up with an enema from her son. hee,hee

    Your mother is so lucky to have you. You will obviously find a way to do whatever it takes to get her the proper treatment.

    Best wishes and prayers for both of you.


  15. Sandy -

    I doubt you went off for your appointment without our prayers, even though you forgot to ask for them.

    This site has grown so large that in order not to miss anybody, I'm in the routine of making my last thought before sleep an all-encompassing prayer for the well-being of everyone on the board. I bet others do this too.

    But I'm adding extra prayers for you right now for good results.

    Crossing body parts, too.


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