Hi... I stumbled across this site looking for some kind of support for being a survivor of lung cancer. I'm
saying "survivor" but I am living in constant fear
that it will return. In July of 2000 I had to go and
have a chest xray because I am immigrating to Australia.
My partner lives here. They found a tiny shadow on my
right lung. As I was in Australia at the time on a
visitors visa I decided to return to Canada and have it
looked into there. The doctors in Australia and also
in Canada said not to worry.. that it looked harmless.
Thank Heavens for the Lung specialist in canada... she
had a very bad feeling about it and referred me to a
lung surgeon. I had a cat scan when I returned to
canada and from july to october the mark had not changed
in size. The lung specialist and the lung surgeon
both recommended surgery. I was admitted to hospital in
Victoria, B.C. and had surgery on November 30th. I
had a right thoracotomy wedge resection proving the mark
to be malignant. The tumour was 1.4 x 1.1 x 0.8 cmh.
There was no lymph node involvement. My partner came
over to canada on December 15, 2000 in order to help
me recuperate and to take me back to australia. The
operation was horrendous and I had problems with air
leaks. The surgeon in canada told me that I was to have
chest xrays every three months for the first two years
and every six months thereafter. My partner and I
returned to Australia in January 2001 and I began the
process again of applying for permanent residency. They
finally granted me a temporary visa after much hassle
as I failed the health requirement to immigrate here.
I am now at the stage of awaiting my permanent
residency status.. I just sent all the paper work in a couple
of weeks ago and I pray that they will let me stay.
There has been no mention of having to provide a
doctors report for the permanent residency. That brings me
to my dilema. When I returned to Australia after
surgery I was very diligent in going for my xrays every
three months.. I did it three times and each time the
xray was clear. The torment leading up to the xrays was
horrendous.. as I'm sure you can relate.. I worried so
much that there was going to be something there. I
started smoking again... (do I have a death wish or
what?)... and after going diligently for my xrays three
times I promptly stopped going. I have not been to a
doctor for 20 months now and every ache and pain I get I
think that it is cancer. My life is a constant worry.
My thinking is, is that if it returns I will know
about it sooner or later... and if it hasn't then that is
good! I am TERRIFIED to go to the doctor! I've been
reading these survivor stories and everyone seems so
upbeat and positive and I feel so negative. It's as is
I'm sitting on a time bomb! It is part of my life every
single day. It makes me feel better to share my story
with someone. Thanks for listening...