Barb73

Donna, So very glad this post came to the front of the line again. It gives me the chance to celebrate once again that FANTASTIC 12-year anniversary. WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL

Ginny, and Dana, Yes, the hand is healing, but it has transformed from swollen and red, to swollen and blue, but the last is almost a very dark blue/black. Does it hurt? No, and isn't that odd? Jeanne says it's due to the adrenalin which spilled out at the time of the accident. Four days to not feel pain? No. It is the same thing that always happens to me. I have a very high threshold of pain. It is not a good thing. Pain is a clue to something wrong. With any good luck, it should tell us that we need to see a doctor. Ginny, let's face it. Shrinking brains allow more room for things. In Bill's case, the swelling would be considered worse if the area had less space Dana, I moved the bed downstairs, and that is a good thing. However, when they decided in the end NOT to drain the brain, NOT to put in a green filter for the clots in his legs (but in this instance, to monitor him to see if he could return to coumadin) I knew that he would be going home today. Well, they evaluated him, and said that he did "fine." Well, he really didn't. He was listing to one side. A social worker came to see me. We discussed options for Bill. First, they thought that he would not be able to move easily from the bed to a commode. Then they told me that I could make some decisions. They offered me a choice of temporary rehab facilities that could help him be stronger and to assist me in having Bill home in less than a month, but, perhaps, in the shape he was in prior to the fall. The one place in the litany of facilites stood out in my mind. It was one in which our healthcare worker had mentioned that her neighbor was placed. I signed Bill off to there. I followed the EMS workers. I was totally blown away with the beauty of the place. Our son was, as well. He followed after me. What a blessing. It is totally gorgeous. Bill won't be home for Christmas, but we will bring Christmas to him. We will ALL be there surrounding him with family. We are being blessed gently even though the situation is not what we would prefer. Barbara

Wishing you a lovely Christmas with your Mom. So very glad the news is good. Barbara

Randy, I need a release like that. It's long overdue. Glad you suggested that. I have been holding everything inside for far too long, I think. Barbara

Susan, Yes, that would be Bill doing that fleeing in your mind's eye. He is very persistent, and they are definitely watching him for a leap to freedom, sans proper clothing. I have a brother-in-law, who is a very tall, self-confident policeman, who left a hospital years ago while they were yelling, "...but we need a urine sample." Bud, no, it doesn't get any easier. When it is not a physical challenge, the mental/emotional challenges arrive on the scene. What helps is my being able to let you all know - then, I have your input which gives me strength. No lie, this message board has seen me through. God bless the idea of online support. Lily, we will always think we didn't do enough. It's the way we are. Would you want it any other way? No. You are human and so am I. Both of us have loved our husbands. How else should we feel? We do the best we can. See? You have made me think. Randy, I am a believer in positive thinking. It is an imperative. You are a pillar of strength dear fellow, and I love you for it. I, on the other hand, lose it every now and again. Diane, I told my son today that I can make decisions on and for myself without a hassle. Making them for Bill is not the same. He, at this moment in time, has a brain bleed. They will not be draining it. OK. I see the reason. They said that the condition, although larger than before, is none-the-less, a chronic condition. As we grow older, the brain shrinks, and there is more room for his particular swelling. I sought the nurse-in-charge, and I asked her about all of this. She was the one who told me that they would not be draining the bleed, and the rationale behind that decision. I asked, "What are they going to do, or think about doing?" She said that they called in a vascular specialist/surgeon to determine (since Bill can no longer have coumadin) whether, or not they should insert a filter (to filter out clots). When would this be discussed, and would I be a part of this decision? Tomorrow, evidently, and yes, I would be involved. The nurse suggested that Bill might be placed in rehab for strength and such. This absolutely scares the dickens out of me. Is this to keep him in institutionalized care? The nurse mentioned that they have around the clock nursing. He would be watched. This decision has to be expedited from the hospital - not after he leaves. ...and we wonder why there is burnout? Susan, your Christmas wishes are treasured. Thank you, dear girl. I am determined to give us all here at the Damroth residence a very, joyful Christmas. I wish the same for all here, and a hopeful New Year. Barbara

Thank you, Sandy, Yes, the hospital room is actually large enough for a small get-together. I think they wanted to watch him. He is right outside and in view of his nurse-in-charge. Not to make a big deal about the ordering food issue, but with this disease, weight is always a tricky thing. If a loss becomes too great it's not that easy to "catch back up." You are right about watching myself healthwise. If I am not able, there really isn't anyone else to physically care for Bill. So, I am eating, making sure I put mats down on the floor when showering, and generally watching my step - no dashing about as I have been told I do. I have been getting sleep in segments, but they are good hours. Maybe we will be lucky and the fluid in the brain will decrease and they will let him home. He certainly has them feeling that he would be glad to leave the hospital in the hospital gown (with the back flapping). Barbara

Stephanie, Yes, it is nearer to the kitchen. (Last night, at the hospital, I made sure I ordered supper and today's breakfast.) Thank you for thinking about us. We appreciate that a lot. It's comforting to be able to come here, and receive input. Looking out the window here in Northern New Jersey at 4:40 am, I can see the snow is covering everything. It doesn't look that deep. Hopefully, it will be cleared later so that we can get to the hospital. It's only a 10-15 minute ride from here. From Bill's hospital room window you can see the front of the hospital, and a very beautiful, lit Christmas tree standing on an island. I hope he will be home for Christmas. Barbara

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases ... 49047.html ARTICLE: . . . . . . . . . FLUSHING, N.Y., Dec. 17 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- A 58-year-old man who lives in Corona, Queens came to the emergency room of New York Hospital Queens (NYHQ) with extreme pain and tingling in his left arm. Although he did not realize it at the time, he had lung cancer. Recently, he made medical history as the first patient in the United States to be treated for lung cancer through the use of radioactive pellets placed directly in the tumor, and today his recovery is going well. Known as brachytherapy, this treatment approach is commonly used to treat prostate cancer. "Although the patient came in because of pain in his arm, it was not due to an injury. It was discovered that the cause was a Pancoast tumor, a tumor in the lungs that affects the arms and shoulders but rarely causes symptoms, such as cough or shortness of breath, typically associated with the lungs," according to Dattatreyudu Nori, M.D., chairman, Radiation Oncology. The patient was treated with high dose chemotherapy and then underwent treatment with external beam radiation. Although he did have some positive response, the tumor was still present. Because of the location of the tumor, the NYHQ physicians knew that additional conventional treatment could endanger surrounding critical structures including nerves and vessels, and could affect the other organs of his body. With the options becoming limited, Dr. Nori, along with colleague Paul C. Lee, M.D., the hospital's vice chairman of cardiothoracic surgery, decided to perform a surgical resection of the tumor and then implanted the tumor bed with radioactive Cesium 131 pellets -- in a new type of brachytherapy procedure. Brachytherapy involves the implantation of radioactive seeds into the tumor site to kill the remaining cancer cells after surgical resection, while limiting the damage to healthy tissue. Brachytherapy has been successful in treating prostate cancer, but had never been used to treat this form of aggressive lung cancer. "The tumor was very aggressive. We decided to use radioactive Cesium-131 pellets due to their high success rate in treating prostate cancer. This patient has responded well to the treatment, with an outcome that would not have been possible with traditional treatment," reports Dr. Nori. According to Dr. Nori, Cesium-131 pellets have several advantages over the older radioactive isotopes including a shorter half-life, which means faster delivery of a radiation dose that allows less time and opportunity for the cancer cells to repopulate. Dr. Nori has trained several hundred physicians in the U.S. on the use of brachytherapy procedures in the treatment of cancer, and more recently on the use of Cesium-131 in lung cancer treatment. He is renowned in the field of radiation oncology and for pioneering the use of use of radioactive isotopes to treat prostate cancer. He was one of the first to use the radioactive isotopes Iodine-125 and Palladium-103 in 1975 and 1985 as well as Cesium-131, which was approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration in 2003 for treating prostate and other cancers. New York Hospital Queens is a member of the New York-Presbyterian Healthcare System and an affiliate of the Weill Medical College of Cornell University. Note to Editors: Dr. Nori as well as the (Spanish-speaking) patient and multi-lingual family members is available for interviews, and interviews can be conducted in multiple languages. Dr. Nori is one of the world's leading authorities in the subspecialty of brachytherapy. He was the first physician in the United States to work with a computerized brachytherapy treatment system and was instrumental in the development and successful application of it to combat cancer. . . . . . . . . . (PRNewswire/USNewswire, December 17, 2009) Disclaimer: The information contained in these articles may or may not be in agreement with my own opinions. They are not being posted with the intention of being medical advice of any kind.

I hear you, Randy. Barbara

Susan, Paulette, Katie, Randy, Reynsie, and Kasey, Today, John and Linda brought me over and brought me back from the hospital, HUMC. While we were there, I introduced myself to the nurse in charge of Bill. I asked her if he ate breakfast. She said that she didn't know if he did, but I told her that Bill didn't think that he did. She asked what he would like. I said, scrambled eggs, whole wheat toast, apple sauce, apple juice, and a cup of tea. It arrived and he ate the WHOLE thing, except the fruit cup - which I ate . That is what Bill does best - eat. Of course, I fed him, but he was there waiting for each bite. That is the good news. The doctors haven't decided what to do about the brain bleed. Bill is in a private room (I know. It came as a surprise to me, as well). When John, Linda, and Alex (our grandson) brought me home, they went upstairs and took the hospice bed apart, brought it piece by piece down to the living room, and put it together. I cannot imagine what Bill will think. Yes, Randy, I will remind him that it is closer than the hospital . Boy, does he hate hospitals. They put a monitor on the bed because they thought he would "take off." He kept talking so much about going home. You have, in your own way, "known this trip," as you have said, Kasey. All have given me a hug, and I appreciate that so very much. You are special and have the support I need. I love you all. Barbara

Ginny, Thank you for the response. I needed that more than you will ever know. This is a very lonely "place," this cancer trip. There could be many people in my life and they are, but none of them understands the fear, the responsibility, the utter "uselessness" feelings that invade the thoughts every single day. I had my left hand on his pant waist lifting a bit while I was holding onto the right bannister. Somehow, he hurled backwards and went right past my left arm. I don't know how he did that because I am very strong for a woman. The back of my left hand looked twice the size with swelling. It was the nurse who saw it. The force whith which it hit must have been powerful, but you know, I didn't feel a thing. The thought of putting the bed downstairs makes me feel defeated. It seems to say to me, "Ok, you're on the level before going out the door feet first." Hate that. Barbara

I took this from "Bill's Story." I just couldn't write it all over again, so I copied and pasted it. The reason for the addition of adding December 16 was to give a little prelude to what occurred the following day, December 17. Things happen, and there are so many that we can never be prepared for no matter how hard we try. December 16 - Saw the oncologist yesterday, and we spoke of Bill's being removed from hospice to receive some palliative care for the shoulder and/or the neck. The doctor will be calling the radiologists involved in those treatments. I will call both doctors and hospice today. Will report back later with update. Thursday evening, December 17, Bill fell backwards down about three steps and landed in the kitchen, hitting his head on the side of the portable dishwasher. Called hospice and 911. He was sent to the hospital. I stayed behind with the hospice night nurse until our son and daughter-in-law arrived to take me over with them. She noticed that the back of my left hand was quite swollen. I was behind him as he was ascending the stairs, and my hand must have slammed back onto the living room wall when he fell back and swept passed me. She bandaged it to keep the swelling down. They took a ct scan and there was an area of blood in Bill's brain (had it prior, but smaller) that has grown and may need to be drained. He was eating, sitting up, and conversing when I left the hospital late yesterday. He doesn't have a room as yet. They are full up. At first, he was labeled ICU but has been downgraded. (That is a good thing.) Will be going back today with Linda and John. We are expecting snow and want to get there and back before the storm. I wish there wasn't that prospect of draining. It scares me, and is one more thing that Bill doesn't need on his plate. Hope someone knows what they are doing here. Up until now, it has been "observed," albeit, it was smaller. Right now, I am alone at home, and trying to take it one step at a time. That is all I can do.

(((Ann))) Thinking of you, Barbara

I remember you and am so happy to both congratulate you on your very successful loss of weight, and your very caring, wonderful support for your lovely Mom. We love seeing her NED reported. It is the GREATEST! Barbara

Randy, That photo says it all. With love such as that, who cannot be strengthened? Barbara

Randy, I especially thank you for the advice on yelling out at the stars. That will be my mantra in future days, when things become "more alone." You have been a comforting note here with your postings, truly. Barbara

Judy, Congratulations on your having "been there" 2500 times. You are very special, and you are much appreciated. Barbara

Thank you, Michele. These are the issues when caring for someone you love, but feel so inadequate being there for their caring. You have posted, probably, the most important aspect in this whole journey. Those who are caring often are lost in the milieux of this disease. I read this several times to allow it to sink into the inner self - not an easy task. This is one very special post. Thank you, again, dear Michele. Barbara

Judy, When I read it in my morning emails, it occurred to me that when I had a hysterectomy years ago, the doctor didn't put me on estrogen therapy. I thought he was being "insensitive." Happily, I didn't take it, but have taken a liking to soy products (which, btw, contain estrogen). Hmmm Soy is "supposed" to be a good thing, but...... Also beer contains estrogen. I used to love a cold beer with a hot dog (with saurkraut). Hope that didn't occur too many times. You know, the more we read, the more we understand that this is one very complex and complicated disease. Oddly, I do believe they will come to understand it better ..... from my thoughts to God's ears. Bill loved his soy cheese, and recently has been put off by it. Why? I don't know. Anyhow, soy is a product containing estrogen. Let's hope that they figure it all out sooooon. Barbara

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/173829.php ARTICLE: . . . . . . . . . Anti-estrogens as therapy for breast cancer may also reduce the risk of death from lung cancer, according to study results presented at the CTRC-AACR San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium, held here Dec. 9-13, 2009. "We found a reduction in lung cancer mortality among women treated with anti-estrogens for breast cancer. This work builds on previous studies that had suggested estrogens have a role in lung cancer development and progression," said Elisabetta Rapiti, M.D., M.P.H., medical researcher with the Geneva Cancer Registry, University of Geneva, Switzerland. Rapiti and colleagues evaluated whether anti-estrogen therapy for breast cancer patients reduced their risk of subsequently developing and/or dying from lung cancer. The study included 6,715 women living in the Geneva canton of Switzerland who were diagnosed with breast cancer, between 1980 and 2003. Forty-six percent of the women received anti-estrogen therapy, primarily tamoxifen. By the end of the study period, 40 cases of lung cancer developed. There was no difference in the incidence of lung cancer among women with or without anti-estrogens compared with the general population. However, the risk of dying from lung cancer was significantly lower among women who received anti-estrogen therapy. "Our results are particularly relevant to the research agenda exploring endocrine treatment(s) for lung cancer," said Rapiti. "If prospective studies confirm our results and find that anti-estrogen agents improve lung cancer outcomes, this could have substantial implications for clinical practice." Phase II clinical trials are currently underway in a number of centers to evaluate the use of anti-hormone therapy as an adjunct to traditional chemotherapy for lung cancer, according to Rapiti. The mission of the CTRC-AACR San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium is to produce a unique and comprehensive scientific meeting that encompasses the full spectrum of breast cancer research, facilitating the rapid translation of new knowledge into better care for breast cancer patients. The Cancer Therapy & Research Center (CTRC) at The University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio, the American Association for Cancer Research (AACR), and Baylor College of Medicine are joint sponsors of the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium. This collaboration utilizes the clinical strengths of the CTRC and Baylor, and the AACR's scientific prestige in basic, translational and clinical cancer research to expedite the delivery of the latest scientific advances to the clinic. The 32nd annual symposium is expected to draw more than 8,500 participants from more than 90 countries. Source American Association for Cancer Research (AACR) . . . . . . . . . (Medical News Today, Main Catefory: Lung Cancer, Also Breast Cancer/Oncology, December 13, 2009) Disclaimer: The information contained in these articles may or may not be in agreement with my own opinions. They are not being posted with the intention of being medical advice of any kind.

http://www.indexjournal.com/articles/20 ... morgan.txt ARTICLE: . . . . . . . . . Despite being engaged in her third battle with cancer, Nancy Morgan is determined to live and love every moment of her life, and inspire others to do the same. The 61-year-old grandmother who is raising her 8-year-old grandson, Keith, was first diagnosed with lung cancer seven years ago. "There was just a pain in my chest that wouldn’t go away,” she said. Part of her right lung had to be removed, but Morgan recovered and continued with her life. At that time, Morgan said she thought she was blessed. Out of two brothers, a sister a niece and an uncle, who had all been diagnosed with cancer, she was the only one to survive. Although it was scary, Morgan said her experience with lung cancer was nothing like what happened early last January. She was in California visiting family when she started feeling ill and couldn’t get out of bed the entire week. When she finally made it back to South Carolina, Morgan went directly to Self Regional Medical Center. "I told my daughter God told me to go straight to the hospital,” she said. Upon being admitted, Morgan found out her organs were being shut down by an acute case of multiple myeloma cancer, a fast and progressive disease that affects the plasma cells in the bone marrow. For 17 days, Morgan was sure she was going to die. "I looked like death, I felt like death, I even smelled like death,” she said. And when she was alone, she said a darker version of herself followed her. It would sit at the end of her bed, and Morgan said she was sure that vision was just waiting for her to die. Morgan said the hard-working, compassionate doctors and nurses at Self are the only reason she survived. "I know they help a lot of people, but a lot of people don’t speak out. They treated me with love and dignity. I had love at Self Regional. I can’t explain it any other way,” she said. Morgan said she still remembers the nurse who came and made her get out of bed and walk for the first time. "They really cared,” she said. Chemotherapy treatment at Self brought her back from the brink, but in May, Morgan received a stem cell treatment she swears saved her life, and her quality of life. Morgan said the doctors harvested her own stem cells and then gave her a high dose of chemotherapy. Her stem cells were then put back into her body to replaced the damaged and diseased marrow. Since that treatment, Morgan said she feels as well as she did before she had cancer. "If I didn’t have neuropathy in my hands and feet, I would feel like I was 21 years old,” she said. . . . . . . . . . (Index Journal, Article by Felicia Kitzmiller, December 12, 2009)

Here is my take on this after walking the walk for five plus years: Do not cave into the negative. Like Bill, you can give the stats a run for their money.

In the article I posted under Cat's article this morning, it was stated that he was a cigar smoker. Barbara

Hi Kasey, Just getting to see this posting. I send my congrats on the five years and on the fact that you can put your old (socks) memories away in a drawer. Now, you are onto a bright outlook, and doggie will have substantial protection against the ice. You are an inspiration, truly. Your post really made me smile. It made my day! Barbara

A joyful congratulations to you, dear Jamie. I wish you many decades of survivorship. As you probably know, Bill passed his five-year mark on December 4. What I love about all of this is that it kicks stats in the rear end. It proves once more that we are people, all different, and certainly NOT numbers. Time to celebrate, All the best, Barbara