Jump to content

Bonnie

Members
  • Posts

    73
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Bonnie

  1. Andrea, May God give you and your family the strength and comfort to get through this very hard time. It is never easy no matter how much we think we prepare ourselves for it. You have been an inspiration to us all. Bonnie
  2. Bonnie

    Checking in...

    Howard died just two weeks ago and I find it almost impossible to leave the house. I haven't returned to work yet and find it almost impossible to think about going back into the same hospital where he died (we both worked at the same hospital). I hate cancer and how it destroys families. My sister was diagnosed about 2 months ago with lung cancer. She is not in very good health and now finds herself fighting lung cancer. I still have to remain positive when talking to her but find it so hard to do now. I feel empty and almost numb inside except for that ever present pain in my heart for my wonderful husband Howard. Bonnie
  3. Bonnie

    Bill Has Died

    Barb, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I didn't post much but always read each and every post daily. You showed courage and the deep love you have for your Bill. May God give you peace and comfort. Bonnie
  4. Bonnie

    His pain is over

    Howard was laid to rest yesterday with a gentle breeze blowing and the sun shining brightly. Just the kind of day he loved. He had a police escort from the funeral home to the cemetary and then the Sheriff's Honor Guard took over. He was a policeman and then a Deputy Sheriff. He spent the larger part of his life being a manager of security at the hospital where we both work. I don't know when I'll go back to work but I know it will be soon. Much too quiet here at home and that's not a good thing right now. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. Right now my thoughts are not easy to put down in words except to say....I miss him and loved him more than words could say. Bonnie
  5. Bonnie

    His pain is over

    My beloved husband Howard passed from this life at 4:00am this morning. He is without pain now and I know he is smiling down on me right now. I am so very proud of his courage during these last 7 and a half years of our cancer journey. He was my strength during the darkest of times and is still giving me the strength to face these next few days. Bonnie
  6. Thank you for all of your kind words, however Howard was admitted to Hospice yesterday and is now on a morphine pump to help eliminate his pain. Things have happened so fast in a just a matter of a few days and the cold hard truth is that I'm going to have to say good-bye soon to a wonderful man. After the death of my first husband he came into my life and my children's and brought us together as a family once again. My son is taking this extremly hard doesn't want to leave him alone in the hospital. To see my grown son cry is heartbreaking. Bonnie
  7. Howard's has the same type of cancer he had the first time, adeno. He is now starting to have pain in his spine and stomach area. I have taken a leave from work for three months to be with him. However, the doctors are talking more like a month to two months at most. I still can't believe how fast this is all happening after 7+ years of remission. Worse yet, why didn't the MRI or CT pick this up? I'm not a great fan of the PET scan since we have had false positives early in our journey of lung cancer, but now I'm even more confused. Howard does not want to go to the hospital so I will have everything brought here that possibly can be. The only thing that I can't have delivered is a cure for this beast. My sister was diagnosed last month with the same type of lung cancer as Howard. It never seems to end. Bonnie
  8. I've been a member of this board since November 2002. That's when my husband Howard was first diagnosed with lung cancer. The journey has been filled with bumps along the way but they were all doable...until now. Howard has declined rapidally since Christmas and we didn't know why. His MRI's and CT's all came back fine until the last one. That showed three tiny little 'creatures' in his right lung(his original cancer was in the left lung). The doctor felt very hopeful about this since Howard did so well on chemo the first time. He started him on Alimta and Carbo. I don't think that did anything except awaken a sleeping giant. They did a PET scan on Wednesday and it showed liver involvement as well as bone involvement in his spine. I have to ask how accurate are the PET scans since just 3 weeks before his other tests came back fine. I'm totally out of control and don't want to see Howard lose his battle, our battle that we have fought for so long. The doctor said he is hesitate to go on with treatment since Howard is in a weakened condition compared to what he was prior to this new 'bump'. When I asked him if he was saying we are out of options he said no there are lots of chemo drugs out there and apparently Alimta was not the one for Howard. He was not this weak prior to starting Alimta. He said he was going to get the research person started to try and find any clinical trials or what would be the best recommendation chemo wise. He cannot have any more radiation since he had the max amount with the first tumor and it is that tumor that has awakened. Even with my daughter being a pulmonary nurse I am not able to carry on a normal daily routine without thinking of what Howard might be facing. He does not want to give up, in fact he said he was not going to just do nothing, he wants more chemo. I'm scared. I remember the gut-wrenching pain when my first husband was killed in an auto accident. Howard has pulled our family together and my son, even with children of his own, has grown very close to Howard. They are like father and son in many ways! He is not taking his very well at all. How can I help them when I can't even keep my heart from breaking when I think of my sweet Howard having to endure this again or worse yet, not being here with us. Bonnie
  9. Mission Impossible...beneath the sheets!
  10. Bonnie

    Lucie Fly Wood

    Words cannot express the sadness that was felt when I read your post. We were given courage to travel this journey because of Lucie and her unstoppable faith and courage. May God grant you and your family peace during this very difficult time. Bonnie and Howard
  11. May God comfort you in the days ahead. Words just don't seem to be easy right now. Bonnie and Howard
  12. Hi Judy: Howard and I live in Fort Smith, AR. I'm not sure how far that is from your area. Howard was dx'd in November 2002. He has retired from work and is doing just fine. Not to say we didn't have our share of bumps along the way! Bonnie and Howard
  13. Howard and I both take it about 30 minutes before we go to bed. It really has helped both of us sleep much better. If my mind isn't playing tricks on me it seems a few weeks ago someone posted a vitamin regime that they were given by the Cancer Treatment Centers of America and melatonin was on the top of the list. Howard takes 2 pills at night and I only take 1. It seems he needs a little more than I do. Bonnie and Howard
  14. I have had the shingles twice and both times the doctor told me to put ice on them. I have done it both times and I have to say it really made a difference. Hope this helps! Bonnie and Howard
  15. Oh my, here come the tears! It is times like this that renews your faith in mankind. He truly is a wonderful man and I'm sure God will Bless his life many times over. Bonnie and Howard
  16. Today's announcement was a shock to us. Howard has been on 400mg of Celebrex for about 1 year. We asked our oncologist if he would write the prescription for it when we found out they were using it in a clinical trial. Should Howard stop taking the Celebrex based on the news that was released? He has had some change in his aorta that was dx'd as hardening of the arteries, but is taking a new medicine for that. He just had his scans and MRI and everything is clear. Help! Thanks, Bonnie and Howard
  17. Bonnie

    Gamma Knife

    You are so right about Dr. Lindsky being top notch! He did Howard's Gamma Knife procedue last December. What a wonder man he and the others at UAMS are. Howard had excellent results from the procedure! The only sad note is that Dr. Lindsky is no longer with UAMS. In fact, Howard was his last patient he had in the Gamma Knife room. We were both sorry to hear that he moved to Southern California, but he told us should we ever need his services again we know where he is! If you would like I will try and find the information you will need to use him. Prayers, Bonnie and Howard
  18. Bonnie

    Legal Question

    After fighting cancer for two years Howard and I are now faced with another fight. His former wife has decided to make life pure hell for him. She wants all of his blood in spite of what he went through the last two years. During this time we have been faced with large medical bills, loss of work for about 5 months, and numerous other things. She now wants the court to increase her child support. BTW these are not Howard's birth children, he adopted them and then she left not too long after the ink was dry! He has had no contact with them in 4 years. I'm turning to you guys for help. Does anyone know what we can or cannot do since Howard has lung cancer and went through the Gamma Knife for a brain met? Doesn't the law protect the non-custodial parent during a life threatening illness? Thanks for any suggestions. I need to vent after dealing with this all weekend! I'm afraid that the added stress will cause Howard to leave his current state of NED. Don't know what I'd do without you guys! Bonnie and Howard
  19. Bonnie

    Missing Them

    And then there was Greg. He was a dear sweet person. When he left us I think he took a little bit of each one of us. These past few weeks have been very difficult for us all, but I feel very fortunate to have become a part of a large and caring family. May God Bless each and every one. Bonnie and Howard Next week is scan time for Howard. He is having a hard time right now, more emotional than physical. We're getting very close to the 2 year mark and he is worried that the other shoe is going fall. Prayers would be appreicated.
  20. Bonnie

    David A

    Right now words are very hard to find. May God Bless you and your family in the days to come. David will be missed by us all. Bonnie and Howard
  21. May God Bless this wonderful family during this very difficult time. Words seem so hard to find right now. Please remember that your entire family is in our prayers. May you find comfort and peace. Bonnie and Howard
  22. Ginny..So sorry to hear of the latest turn in this journey. Please know that you both are in our prayers and may God be with you during each step. Bonnie and Howard
  23. Ginny, please know that you and Earl are in our prayers. This journey is never easy and you never seem to know what is around the corner. Remember to take care of yourself as well. God Bless you both. Just a thought, might some of the things you described be a side effect of the meds? Bonnie and Howard
  24. Dear Kathy LaTour, I'm not new to this site, but I don't post nearly as much as I should. That being said, I again must comment on your function held last weekend. My husband has lung cancer. Did he smoke, yes. My mother died of lung cancer. Did she smoke? Never. Cancer does not discriminate. It affects the young, the old, the rich, and the poor. Cancer is a something that we never want to hear that we have, but we do hear those words. Does it really matter what we did or didn't do during our life, the bottom line is we have cancer, or our loved one has cancer. Either way you look at it the result is the same - everyone is in for the fight of their life, or should I say "the fight for their life". Please take your blinders off and look at us as human beings, not numbers in a text book. We are here and we need your help. We have lost many wonderful family members here on the website. How many lives must be lost before you and the rest of the world realize that no one is immuned from getting lung cancer. Help us now. Why make our fight even harder. Thank you, Bonnie and Howard
  25. Why am I not shocked at how the entire forum was handled? I guess because that is just a small sampling of how the country feels about lung cancer. It is not politically correct to have any type of encouragement to our lung cancer patients. When you say you have lung cancer you can tell immediately you have already lost their attention. In their mind we, the patients, have caused this to ourselves. I wonder when the medical community will start to see that cancer is cancer. It doesn't matter where its at, or how it got there, its there. Now find a cure for it. I have lost four family members to cancer, including my parents, and grandparents, and now my husband is a lung cancer survivor. I watched CNN News on Saturday morning only to be disappointed by the lack of coverage for lung cancer. I'm sorry that CURE magazine has a one sided approach to cancer, maybe they need to get more involved in our lung cancer fight before they do this again next year. Sorry if I offended anyone with this. May God Bless each one of us. Bonnie and Howard
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.