simplyklb
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Posts posted by simplyklb
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Hi All,
I am starting to have issues with my brothers. It's to the point when all is said and done, I may not want anything to do with them. I really don't want it to get to that point so I need some advice.
My oldest brother kind of orders me around... It's bad enough that my dad does it but I don't need it from someone who doesn't live in the household. He tells me that I have to do this and that. It's not so bad with my middle brother because he lives here too. We sometimes butt heads but we work it out in the end. My youngest brother calls and says keep me updated after he gets the update. He's very selfish and it has been noticed by people outside of the family.
I had an incident with my dad last night... My dad has a lot of side effects from his treatment and his medications. It is pretty bad at this point. His worse things right now are his radiation burns in his esophagus and low counts. He is also very confused. He has an appt. with the oncologist for follow-up. I have lots of concerns to voice to the oncologist. Here's my thing: My dad went out on the deck and took a fall. He didn't bother to say anything about the dogs needing to go out... He just did it. He fell trying to put one of the dogs down at the foot of the two deck steps. He comes in and says that he thinks that he broke his arm. I get him in the bathroom and work on getting his cut taken care of since he is prone to infection right now. He's complaining because I am working too slow. I was trying to be careful so I wouldn't introduce any bacteria in his bloodstream. In the meantime, my mom is having a reaction to the Percoset she took. She has done something to a rib so it hurts her to cough. While I am tending to my dad, she calls my middle brother or he called and she asked him to call my oldest brother. I got my dad cleaned up and checked over. My two brothers came over. My oldest brother started in on me. I just started crying. He has his own health issues but he manages to work. I can't work and I need to but I can't. He and my middle brother ran to get some medical supplies for me. I don't drive so I have to depend on others to get stuff for me or take me places.
About an hour or so later, my dad noticed that his ankles were swollen. I called the answering service. The on-call doctor called me back and I told him what was going on. He said check his ankle for any redness or purple from possible bruising. I saw nothing. He told me to have dad put ice on it. I told dad that and he wouldn't do it. My dad cut his arm and I put preoxide and neosporin and covered it with a bandaid right after his fall.
My brothers picked up an elastic band so we could put that around Mom's ribs. That has helped her. I will see how she is in the morning.
I don't think that my brothers have a clue as to what I do. I go to every single doctor appt., every test, every procedure. I arrange all the transportation. I try to manage the household as best as I can. I answer the phone the majority of the time. The house needs cleaning but I just don't have the energy to deal with that.
I don't have a social life anymore and my closest friends are very angry that my family does not allow me any time for myself. I was suppose to go out with some friends but had to cancel when all the issues came up this evening. One of my friends was not happy about that at all. I don't blame her. They are very worried about my mental and physical status. When I told my middle brother about my canceled plans, his reply was simply... too humid any way.
I get in trouble for spending too much time at the computer. I flat told my mom that this is my outlet.
My mom does not understand my issues with my brothers at all... She's just like they are watching out for you. My parents went away for a few days last summer. One night I stepped out for a bit. My youngest brother came over to the house because he could not get ahold of me. My friends were like what is this with your family calling all the time? They were not used to that. I felt sooo embarrassed.
Truth beknownst... I am totally overwhelmed at this point and my family is not recognizing it all.
Kristi.... an overwhelmed caregiver
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My dad just had his port placed on Fri., May 23rd. He had his port placed in radiology. Some people have their ports placed by a surgeon and others at Intervention Radiology. My dad was placed at IR. Dad never complained about the pain but he is on 60 mg or more of morphine a day for pain caused by bone mets. My mom has her port placed on Wed., June 4th at IR.
Kristi
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I can relate to your story in many ways. Congrats on your upcoming marriage!
My parents were both just diagnosed with lung cancer. My dad has small cell lung cancer and my mom has non small cell lung cancer. My dad has already begun his treatment. He had 10 radiation treatments and just had his first round of chemo this past week. My mom starts her chemo on June 16th. Their oldest granddaughter is getting married on June 14th. I am really worried that my dad is not going to be able to attend the wedding. Mom didn't want to start any treatments until after the wedding. Dad's cancer is more aggressive than Mom's.
Kristi
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Great news!
Congrats on the birth of your new baby!
Kristi
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Erin,
You haven't met my parents' oncologist. He told us in his very first meeting with us that he could not cure my dad. The onc said that he could give my dad some quality of life tho. The oncologist said that he can help my mom more than he can my dad. My mom is in the process of being diagnosed with NSCLC. We should get her final diagnosis tomorrow when we meet with the onc for follow up for her. Yes, both my parents have lung cancer at the same time.
Kristi
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Hi Denise,
My dad was going to go thru radiation and chemo together at first. The rad onc wanted him to wait on the chemo because the rad onc would have had to back off from the radiation. My dad finished his radiation a week ago and started chemo this week. Since Dad has SCLC, the oncologist is using Carboplatin/VP-16.
Kristi
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Hi Denise,
Please tell Tom "Good Luck" with the radiation treatments!
Kristi
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Hi Linda,
First of all, I hope that your chemo treatment goes well.
Secondly, I have been on both sides (as a patient and now as the caregiver). Sandra's post made absolute sense to me. I went thru a lot of surgeries during the first 35 years of my life. I had my first one at the age of 9 or 10 days and the last one at 34 yrs. 6 mos. 28 days.). My mom used to say to me that it was tougher on her than it was me when we were going thru my surgeries. It was never you or I going thru it. It was always we going thru it.
I am faced with a situation now that I never dreamed that I would ever be faced with. Both parents have cancer... My dad has SCLC - ED and my mom NSCLC (will find out staging on Friday). I have had to take over sooo many things.. I am the medical caretaker... I go to all appts., all scans, all scopes, and any other procedures. II keep track of all the medications. I arrange all the appts. I coordinate them so that if Mom has an appt. one day and dad needs one, I try to schedule them the same day. I don't drive so I I have to arrange all the transportation for us to get to appts. My brothers and their families are a huge help in that area.
It's hard so very hard. It's overwhelming at times. We have good moments. The smallest bit of good news brings a huge smile to our faces. The bad news gives us pause and then we deal with it. I am not the kind of person who sits arounds pouting about it. Sure it gets me down. I think that I cried the most in my life in the last week of April and the first week of May this year. There are times when I get weepy. Sometimes I get angry. I hate what cancer has done to my family. Cancer changes you and your family. I learned that from my aunt who went thru surgery and chemo for breast cancer.
Kristi
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"peebygeeby"]Hi Kristi,
My heart goes out to you. Both of my parents were also ill at the same time. My Dad had neck cancer, my mom had Parkinson's Disease, and both had senile dementia to one extent or another. Fortunately, both of my parents had long term health insurance policies which more or less covered the expense of having in home health aides for them. So, luckily, I was not in the position of having to be there as caregiver 24/7. I was there pretty much every day though, seeing to it that things were being taken care of properly, driving them to their doctor's appointments and doing the shopping. I do not know what your parents have in terms of insurance coverage, but if they do have anything in place that you can utilize, definately use it. Also, do not be afraid to ask for the assistance of any relatives or siblings that might be available. This is to much for one person to handle alone, you are going to need help. Find help, and ask for it from anyone who can provide it.
I am thinking of you, you can do this, but do not try to do it alone. You have to take care of you to.
All the best,
Gail
Gail,
My folks have excellent health insurance... Low co-pays/deductibles. That is a major blessing. Medicare is their primary insurance and Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO Is the secondary.
My three brothers live close by and help whenever they can. They run errands and take us to appts. (I don't drive due to my vision.)
Kristi
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Thanks Karen!
We are not sure if Mom's cancer originated in her colon or lung. She has a colonoscopy tomorrow. She sees the oncologist on Friday for follow-up. I am sure that he will have the results of the MRI and colonoscopy.
I hate that both my parents have cancer. In fact, I am not going to lie... It's devastating to my three brothers, their families, and I. We are very close to our parents. I wish that my parents never got cancer. I hate cancer!!!!!!
Kristi
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I would never wish this on anyone. We are early in the game and I am already worn out. It's the confusion from what is relayed to me. I think that I will just have the doctor's offices call and talk to me.
It would help me to talk to others who have had to deal with two family members, particularly parents, going thru the journey at the same time. This is one journey I hate. I hate cancer. I absolutely hate it.
Off for port placement and IV fluids for Dad... Another long day. :: SIGH ::
Kristi
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You need to ask if the problems are related to the radiation or cancer progression. My dad just finished two weeks of radiation. He is having problems swallowing so cannot eat solid foods. Is your sister at home or the hospital? If at home, she needs to get IV fluids. My dad had an appt. with the nurse practitioner at the oncologist's office yesterday to go over his chemo treatment that is starting on Tuesday... She immediately recognized that my dad was dehydrated. My dad was given 2 1/2 hours worth of IV fluids yesterday. He has to go in for more tomorrow.
Kristi
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I keep telling myself to breathe.
Just keeping up with all the dr. appts is enough o drive a sane person insane.
Kristi
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My brothers and I are in our 40s. Each of us is handling the diagnoses in our own way. My oldest brother has his own health issues (needs a kidney transplant in the near future and one of my brothers will be his donor). My two other brothers and I chat about the situation. My brothers have kids. The oldest grandchild is 22 yrs. old. She knows pretty much everything that is going on. What is horrible is she is getting married next month. What is suppose to be one of the happiest times in her life is turning out to be one of the worst times of her life. My sister-in-law has suggested that she get some counseling to deal with my parents' cancer. My niece is very close to my parents. The other grandkids are younger... 13, 12, and 9. My 12-year old niece lost her maternal grandmother to pancreatic cancer in Dec. 2004. My 13 and 9 yr. old nieces lost their paternal grandfather to a one-car accident in August 2003. The 13 yr. old did not deal with her paternal grandfather's death very well. I can remember my mom and I sitting down and trying to explain what was happening to her Papa. I know that the younger grandkids will need to be told about things. But we will take it a step at a time.
Kristi
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Hi,
I am looking for anyone who is dealing with more than one family member with cancer. As many of you know, my dad was diagnosed with SCLC - ED. Well, my mom is in the process of being diagnosed with cancer. She has a spot on her lung and a spot lit up on her colon with the PET scan. She's undergoing a MRI as I type this. We do not know if her cancer originated in the lung or colon. We will know after the colonoscopy next week.
I asked the oncologist about this today. He has seen six couples in his practice who have had cancer at the same time.
I am not going to lie about it.... It's overwhelming. I am a primary caregiver and I want to be there for my parents sooo much. But I also need to look out for me.
Kristi
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Welcome, Marianne! You willk find a lot of support here!
My dad was just diagnosed with SCLC - extensive disease. His cancer has has spread to his liver and bones.
Kristi
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Hi,
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone!
My dad, who is 70 yes. old, was just diagnosed with SCLC on May 6th. He has already been hospitalized for pain management. Dad is currently going thru radiation treatment and is definitely feeling the effects of treatment. He has two more radiation treatments. Dad starts chemo on Tues., May 27th.
Kristi
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My sister-in-law and I are juggling appts for both my parents. My dad was recently diagnosed with SCLC-ED and my mom was just diagnosed today with either lung or colon cancer (Complete pathology is not back but is definitely a non small cell cancer). I had to get a planner because I have to keep track of all the appts.
Kristi
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Hi Teri,
My dad was just diagnosed with SCLC - ED on May 6th of this year. He was admitted to the hospital two days later for pain management. Dad had to wait a day because the MRI slots were full. He had a brain and spine MRI and then was taken for radiation treatment afterwards on Friday. The oncs were talking about starting chemo before radiation ended but decided against it since the radiologist oncologist was radiating a large area. He has completed six radiation treatments and has four more to go. Dad will start chemo on May 27th.
Kristi
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I went up and visit my dad late this afternoon and early evening. First of all, he really wants to come home. We are having problems with him telling the nurses everything. He's stubborn as all get out.
The docs want to start chemo Monday if he is still inpatient. He does have a spot on his skull but it has not penetrated the brain. If he is released before Monday, the doc will call us to set up an appt. My dad still has pain and there is no way they can let him come home. I saw him get winded walking from his bed to the bathroom and back. I told Mom he needs oxygen here at the house. I can't thank the nurses enough for the great care they have given my dad. And for answering my questions. My mom has pretty much left it up to me to ask the questions. I need to make myself a mental note to ask about the dose of morphine my dad is getting by pill.My youngest brother told me that he and dad had a nice visit this afternoon. My brother said he was at peace. I am the same way... I have reached peace. Sure, it will be tough when my dad passes away. We are taking it a day at a time. We are living in the moment.
What is sooo funny is the amount of people who go and visit my dad. People are there thru the day and always in the evening. I think that my dad had a steady stream of visitors today from 3 til after 8. I haven't seen other patients get visits like my dad. I've spent quite a bit of time at the hospital the last two days. I am glad that I can do it.
Kristi
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I forgot to update here.... My dad finally had his MRI yesterday afternoon. Preliminary findings show no mets to the brain. His MRI was of the brain and spine and lasted 2 1/2 hours. Right after the MRI, he had his first radiation treatment. He had one this morning (since he still inpatient).
Kristi
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"dadstimeon"]Kristi-- Now sure if this is what you are looking for. Good Luck! Rich
http://www.medicinenet.com/lung_cancer/glossary.htm (Lung Cancer Glossary of Terms)
http://www.personalinjuryfyi.com/mesoth ... ssary.html (Lung Cancer Glossary)
http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/lung/glossary (Glossary)
http://www.healthtalk.com/lungcancer/di ... sics07.cfm (Disese Basics)
http://www.lungcanceralliance.org/news/glossary.html (Glossary)
http://www.lungcancerguidebook.org/lung ... y_0605.pdf (Glossary)
http://www.netwellness.org/healthtopics ... ossary.cfm (Glossary of Lung Cancer Terms)
Some of those links have excellent resources. Thank you!
Kristi
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Hi All,
Are there any resources for medical terminology for patients with lung cancer and their families? I have two brothers who are not well versed in medical speak as my oldest brother and I are. I understand what the doctors are telling me. I would really appreciate it! If there aren't any, I would be willing to put some info together.
Thanks,
Kristi
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As of this morning, my dad still had not had his MRI. One of the oncologist's associates came by while Mom and I were visiting. He said it should be today as they want to get started with radiation ASAP. I will talk with my dad's nurse when I go up later.
Kristi
Hate to make this decision but must I think
in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER
Posted
My dad is very confused. It is bordering on hallucinations. Dad has an appt. with the onc. I think that I am going to see if they can change his pain meds. He takes 60 mg of long-lasting morphoine along with 60 to 90 mg of short-acting morphine a day.
Kristi