judysdaughter

Oh dear, I am afraid that some of you think that I am Judy B's daughter . I'm not, I'm another Judy's daughter. Sorry for any confusion that was caused.

Happy Birthday Miss Lucie!!! Don, we can all feel your love and pride in how you speak of her!

It is so scary, isn't it?? I don't know how it happens quickly but it can. I just posted an update on my mom, in the "general" area so I won't repeat myself. Every case is different but you may want to ask the doctors if the transition to the meds is causing any of this. I saw this with my mom but it got ironed out after about a week. I will keep you in my prayers. May God grant all of us His Grace, Jenny

Dear Sweet Berisa, I look for your posts as they were what made me push my mom with her doctors. I've just recently posted under "general" so I won't repeat myself, but I am in a similar position. God help us. Everyone is different so I can't speak to your situation directly but only share mine. I can tell you that it took about a week to regulate pain meds and anxiety meds to get my mom to a good state. They were giving her steroids (for anti-inflammation) that may have confused her. It took a few days for it to leave her system. I don't know what finally clicked with her, but it did. I know the anxiety medicine helped A LOT!! Also, she hadn't been eating or drinking and was dehydrated and I suspect, malnourished. On top of all of it, SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH DYING!!!! Any one of us would be off of our rocker. It 's been three weeks and she's doing a lot better from where she is at. Also, she had radiation initially and it really took the life and reason out of her. Could be the same with your dad (if I remember your posts correctly). Please pm me if you'd like to talk. Please grant all of us Your grace God, Jenny

From all of your responses, I don't doubt it. You're a lively one! Keeping it crossed for you. May God grant His grace to us all, Jenny

My dear friends of cancer, I have sat down a number of times to write this but couldn't seem to complete it. As I check in often throughout the day and night, I struggle to find the words to express myself. I suppose I'm writing now because I need your support and long to feel connected. I want to write my mom's detailed account down but don't know that I can give it justice right now, instead I'll give a brief summary and work up to the rest. Please look at the signature below to see current status. As some as you may remember, my mom was experiencing severe (scary) vision trouble a few months ago. They tested her and tested her and still she came back clean. On February 19th, test results came back that indicated that my mom had spinal and brain cancer. Because she was not eating and feeling horrible, we went to the emergency room. Because there had been weeks and weeks of suffering, she was admitted to the hospital on February 22nd. Additional tests came back indicating tiny tumors throughout the spine and brain. At this point in time, she was given 4 - 6 weeks; they said months would be generous. After one last final high dose treatment of radiation to brain and spine, she moved to hospice February 26th. I know no one has any precise date for death but wanted to make her the most comfortable I could. The next four days were the worst she has ever experienced. I don't know if it was the radiaiton, the diagnosis, and/or the cancer. I believe she heard her prognosis, thought she should lay down and die, saw death, and spat in its face! As she had family coming out, she rallied. Her meds got regulated and she's been talking her fool head off and eating like there's no tomorrow since. The hospice has been phenomenal. I can't say enough (I'll be more specific later). We have had family and friends there every day since she moved in. I took leave off of work indefintely (a legal right by the way). After a strong week or progress, I have seen her decline a bit. She has lost control of her bladder and is starting to lose control of her bowels. Her sight today got worse and she is starting to have headaches. She also struggles with some mental confusion. For the first time since her diagnosis, however, her depression seems to be at bay. I know I am leaving out the diagnostic specifics. It is just too much to go into right now. I just wanted to check in and hear any helpful suggestions and I guess get a little support. We have been taking pictures and I plan on posting hers as soon as I get them back. I would like you all to see my beautiful mom, even more so now. As many others have said, this site has been so helpful. I don't post often but read daily. I take the words back to her and find comfort (and at time sadness) in the stories and faces. I feel like I am a drum and am wound up so tight. I have just been tooling along and am waiting for the crash. I just can't seem to let myself go there. Please pray for God's grace for all of us here, Jenny P.S. If I haven't posted my mom's details yet but you are experiencing or a loved one is experiencing something similiar, please feel free to pm me.

AMEN! Jenny

Fay, I don't think Dean Carl would want you to anguish any more that you would've wanted him to anguish. Jenny

My goodness girl, that is a heavy load for all of you. Prayers coming your way. Jenny

Well good for you. I also married about 1 1/2 years ago to someone who loved my little boy like his own. We are very lucky woman indeed! Jenny

You're like a Timex!!! Great news

Prayers going up. Your dad is lucky to have! Jenny

I was so glad to see your picture again as well! I was wondering myself. I lurk as well and am not very good about responding. From what everyone says, though, don't ever feel bad about posting due to an absence. We're all just interested. That's what has been said, so I'm going with it. Good to hear from you again. God bless, Jenny

I dont' know that I have ever responded to one of your posts, but I certainly do know who you are. I agree with previous responses that no one can assert "what is best for someone" except for the person going through this disease. When my mom first got diagnosed with cancer I prayed to God to give us His grace to accept His will (whatever that might be). I certainly had my hopes, full recovery and pain free but I knew it would be a battle. As I talked to people, I would be somewhat upset about the assertion that "she will survive." It wasn't that I didn't want her to, it's just that I knew it was somewhat out of our hands. People would tell me that they would pray for her cure. I appreciated the prayers but felt frustrated. What if she doesn't get better??? What if she suffers???? I just wanted God to help us with whatever the outcome. When David W first got on this board, he would reply with I'll pray for what is best. We pm'd each other and he was worried that people may not respond well to praying for something that didn't involve recovery. I've attached another pm that I received from David W well before his death which sums it up best. (I couldn't figure out how to attach a quote) David W To: judysdaughter Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2003 10:24 am Subject: Re: Just wanted to say.. I once asked God that my friend would live after a terrible fall. I got exactly what I asked for but, my friend was angry, loud and mean after recovery. When I told my pastor the story his responce was,"you got exactly what you asked for." He taught me to ask God for what is best for someone and to avoid inflicting our will. Thank you and God Bless, Dave, No one knows what is in the plan. All we can do is listen to our own consciences and proceed accordingly and hope that we are hearing God's words in our hearts. I don't believe anyone on this board would ever mean to make anyone else feel bad. We all have our different views. What is shameful to me is that some people's choices are limited by the medical community and/or economics to manager their own life and treatment options. God bless you Dean Carl and everyone else here on this board. May we all find God's grace and strength.

Just in case anyone is confused, I'm not Judy B's daughter (although she seems great!) Well, wow, stupendous, wow again, and sheesh! I put my mom on the list to receive a card, since she was feeling down cuz she can't see. And what do you know, she's received 3!!!!! Here's the thing I didn't think through. She can't see. She knows that she received cards and can see enough to know that she doesn't know who sent them but can't see enough to read WHO sent them. I will be going over there tomorrow and will read them to her but I just wanted to send a quick THANKS AND WOW to those of you. I've been trying to get her to come here but she's been a little overwhelmed. The eyesight thing has also hindered this. She couldn't believe that people could be so kind. I explained that with this site and all of the kind words, that was nothing! Again, thanks. It is so hard to see our loved ones suffer and knowing that I could extend a little extra sunshine to her, helped her and me. Now, I must go see who they're from Always praying for all. Jenny

From Sam's warm picture to his compassionate posts, he seemed to be truly a wonderful man. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope there is some comfort in his generosity of a person. God bless.

Faith (beautiful name) is here for a reason. I'm sure she will do very well. Please keep us posted. She has lessons for us all. Prayers going up, up and....

Thanks you guys for your responses! It truly is appreciated. My mom had her second opinion on Friday by a specialist and they told her that they told her again that they don't think it is in relation to the cancer treatment. The doctor said that the nerves need to heal which will just take time. As for a reason, the doctor said that sometimes this just happens. They did send her in for a second MRI (yesterday) to rule out an aneuryism (sp?). I'm going to print these off and ask her doctor today when I call him. Her oncologist and his office are very patient with my various inquiries. As with everything else with this beast, it's the waiting. Thank you again you guys. This is such a great place for support. Berisa, I read your recent posts on your dad and that's what compelled me to post my own post. I hope he is hanging in there. Praying for everyone. Jenny

Hope I'm not ruining the birthday mood, but I have a question and thought I would ask the experts! My mom for the past month has had horrible vision trouble. She has been seeing double and cannot open her right eye. It is so bad that she's not really able to do much of anything. As you can seen below, they did give her a brain MRI and a PET scan and all have come back clean ( ). She has an appointment today with another specialist for a second opinion. They just can't seem to figure out what it is. Her oncologist doesn't think it is a side effect of the chemo, as they don't typically experience vision problems as a side effect with what she's on (or so they say). Also, she's been on it since May, so they feel like it would've shown up already. They did think it might have been a brain tumor but her MRI came back clean. It also could've been liver mets (glucose) but her PET scan came back clean too. At this point, they just don't know what it is. Of course, I'm suspicious. Everything I've read about brain mets seems to apply here. In addition, she experiences periods of extreme dizziness (although she has always had a sensitivity to getting car sick). With the tests coming back clean, does anyone have any ideas? Although she's greatly relieved that her tests are clean, she is starting to get discouraged because of her impaired vision. I think she's also starting to worry about whether or not this will be permanent and how she will take care of herself. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Praying for all, Jenny

Happy day to you! Hope you have an opportunity to enjoy yourself!

My mom was at stage IV and got re-staged back to 3b after chemo and radiation. They then performed surgery. Maybe a little hope for you?? God bless.

You guys have been revving me up for awhile. I think local and national is the key. Locally, we may able to concentrate more efforts to put more pressure on the media which would be much more susceptible(?). Where are concentrated members on site? Can we run a report? Maybe we can try and identify those folks within a city or regional area who can concentrate their efforts and hook them up???? Just thinking out loud. In addition, if we all, on a weekly basis email the other national sites, perhaps there will be just enough pressure. I work for a City government and will talk to our Wellness Coordinator about putting out some kind of info in regards to early screening for lung cancer for our employees (it would be a start). We don't really do health movements for our citizens (county) but our Wellness Program has set the standard locally for other employers. We have health fairs that screen for many ailments (including skin cancer, hep c, cholesterol, etc). Anyone know anyone in the Rotary Club? They went out and innoculated against smallpox to foreign countries. WE'VE GOT ALL THE ANSWERS WE NEED IN THIS ROOM. WE JUST NEED TO GET ORGANIZED!!!! As with so many others, I am so overwhelmed. Where do we start? I'm willing to step up some place. Obviously there are many who have already, and it sounds like others are ready too. Who wants to do what? I do know that this disease is draining. On one side there's activism and on the other getting by day by day. With all the folks in the room, we should be able to compliment and help each other. What do you think? I'm with Rick, too many good people have been lost. I've been off-line but promise to be back daily.

I, like many others, have been lurking and not responding. My mom (I'm not JudyB's daughter) has also suffered with lung cancer. As Dean Carl's letter to his local news station suggests, as well as many others, it's much, much larger than that. Also, as Katie B and others have pointed out, NO ONE DESERVES TO DIE SUCH A DEATH!!!!! Unfortunately, lung cancer carries that same stigma that AIDS once did. But for the grace of God, my mom was only diagnosed because she was a clinical screening program. Her doctor wasn't even testing her for it; still didn't even when she was showing symptoms! Early screening seems to definitely be a major component. As with all of us, time, energy, and hope are a precious resource. I too am interested in investing it with you all where and when I can. This site and all of in the info and support is the perfect seed. Kudos and thanks to the folks that had the vision, maintaince (huge), and the participants who respond with such care and thought. Praying for all!

So my 8 year old son just polished off 3 tuna fish sandwiches (I don't even know if that's the right spelling). Good God! What being has replaced my son? All of a sudden the thing is hungry every 30 minutes. And I'm not talking for a "snack" here. We're talking MEALS. Anyway, I chuckled.

Can't offer any advice but am sending you warm thoughts and prayers. Do you need anything? Is there anything that we can do to help the helper? Please try and be good to yourself and squeak some kind of something out that will bring you peace. We often ignore ourselves and then we put ourselves in a weakened position to be of help. Hang in there.