lilyjohn
-
Posts
2,663 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Downloads
Store
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Blogs
Events
Posts posted by lilyjohn
-
-
Thank you Fay. I will add that one to the others that I have saved. It is not just that morphine can kill that is bad but that it can rob a person of so much. Myclonus is a violent sudden jerk of an extrimity. The morphine caused Johnny to have a severe case of myoclonus even before it put him in a coma.
Like the lady in this story he wanted everything done for him. He did not believe nor want to have his life end without doing everything possible to save him. His beliefs were not even considered. I believe when a person is deliberately medicated to death or denied treatment or the basic essentials to support life, it is not only inhumane but criminal. To me they are just as guilty of murder as if they had shot that person.
Unfortunately involuntary euthanasia is being used more and more to satisfy the needs of someone who has a reason to hurry up a person's death. Many times it is used to cover up the doctor's screw ups as in Johnny's case. The biggest problem that we face trying to change something like this is that it is the doctors who say when someone is terminal. Then they choose what to do about it. How many people are considered terminal but live months or years longer? There are many. Just look on this board and you will see that. Life is too precious to allow these things to continue happening. Maybe if enough people speak up and let people know what is really going on we may stand a chance to stop it before it gets to epidemic proportions.
-
Thank you so much Fay. As someone who lost the love of my life to a so called doctor like that I can certainly relate. Unfortunately they don't lose their medical license as Peggy suggested. That has certainly been my goal to see that they do but it just doesn't work. They have too many people they have convenced that they are doing the things they do and saying the things they say because they are some kind of moral Gods that can determine everyones quality of life or if a person has a right to life.
I learned first hand that medical boards are just there to cover their asses and excuse any behavior. Lawyers don't want to touch a case where lung cancer is envolved because our current administration backs the fight against mal practice suits( I was told that by an attorney). I suppose it never occurs to them that if the state medical boards did their jobs or doctors didn't screw up or play God there would be no need for mal practice suits.Taken to court that is the argument doctors use to get away with doing what THEY want not what the PATIENT wants. The only way things like that are going to change is when enough people stand up and demand that they change. That is why I tell my story to everyone and am still trying to find a way to take it back to those doctors who harmed Johnny then "helped" him die against his will.
So I say hang tough lady keep that attitude and beat them in the *ss any time you get a chance. Someday they will learn that they are dealing with real people not just a disease. It may take one or more of them ending up with the same kind of treatment they dish out before they see but I still believe that what goes around comes around sooner or later. One of my favorite words has become JUSTICE
-
I'm not sure this belongs in this forum but it does have a message that needs to be seen.
> > Subject: THE TEACHER
> >
> >
> > > This is by far the BEST EVER message I have seen regarding
> > > our education system. It hits the nail exactly on the
> > > head!!!
> > >
> > >
> > > After being interviewed by the school administration, the
> > > eager teaching prospect said: "Let me see if I've got this
> > > right. You want me to go into that room with all those
> > > kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for
> > > learning. And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in
> > > their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe
> > > them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt
> > > messages and dress habits.
> > >
> > > You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted
> > > diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass
> > > destruction, and raise their self esteem You want me to
> > > teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship,
> > > fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a
> > > checkbook, and how to apply for a job. I am to check their
> > > heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize
> > > signs of antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters
> > > of recommendation for student employment and scholarships,
> > > encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others, and
> > > oh, make sure that I give the girls in my class fifty
> > > percent of my attention.
> > >
> > > My contract requires me to work on my own time after
> > > school, evenings and weekends grading papers. Also, I must
> > > spend my summer vacation at my own expense working toward
> > > advance certification and a Masters degree.
> > >
> > > And on my own time you want me to attend committee and
> > > faculty meetings, PTA meetings, and participate in staff
> > > development training.
> > >
> > > I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that
> > > my very presence will awe my students into being obedient
> > > and respectful of authority.
> > >
> > > And I am to pledge allegiance to family values and this
> > > current administration.
> > > You want me to incorporate technology into the learning
> > > experience, monitor web sites, and relate personally with
> > > each student. That includes deciding who might be
> > > potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit a crime in
> > > school. I am to make sure all students pass the mandatory
> > > state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly
> > > or complete any of their assignments.
> > >
> > > Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with
> > > handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent
> > > of their mental or physical handicap.
> > >
> > > And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by
> > > letter, telephone, newsletter and report card.
> > >
> > > All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a
> > > computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on
> > > a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps!
> > > You want me to do all of this and
> > > yet you expect me..... . . . . NOT TO PRAY?
-
I am reminded of the saying "it is better to laugh than to cry". That is such a true statement. There is more to it than that too. Sharing a good laugh like we do on chat or the laughter forum gives me a chance to remember Johnny like he was before the anxiety got so bad and even funny things he would say even after it got bad. I can see him, his humor and his gentleness, not just the fear and anxiety that started to rule our lives.
I had a very troubled childhood and so did Johnny. When we met he was 11 years older than me and life had already thrown him a lot of curves but he brought me out of the shell that I was in. He taught me how to laugh, love and enjoy life. He was talented and handsome, strong and gentle and loved me as intensely as I loved him.
Our seperation cost us both a lot but it gave us our children and grandchildren. They should have been ours together but how do you say you regret what you do have? We couldn't regret our families but we did regret the time lost to us and that we never had children together. Our marriages cost us a lot of self esteem. I was just a shell of the person I had been with Johnny.
You ladies might be interested to know what a prude I was. I never discussed sex or the human anatomy. If someone started a conversation like that around me I ignored it or left the room. I just didn't know how to be a whole person without my Johnny.
Easter was a terrible day for me. I did enjoy the sunrise service but my day went down hill from there. Like all other holidays I thought about how I had wanted to make it special for Johnny because he never had that. I also remembered how it had been with my children and grandchildren and knew that it was the same for them again but without me.
The last holiday I spent with my family before I left them was Easter. I was sad knowing it would be the last but I was lonely too. I could be with the biggest crowd and always felt alone even with my own family because they never really knew the real me. The me that was whole and happy. The me that I could be with Johnny. That last Easter with them I knew I had a whole new life of happiness waiting for me. At the time I had no idea that that life would only last five months and that the last two months would be fillled with the problems brought on by fear and anxiety.
I still get angry but I am better able to control it now than I was most of the time. Losing him would have been terrible at any time but he was taken far too soon. He wanted a chance to fight for his life and he was deliberately denied that chance. That is only one of the things that haunt me. When they ignored his anxiety we tried to fix it ourselves. That only led to more problems. I thought that they just didn't know how bad the problem was. I only learned ten days before he died that they had known all along and still did nothing about it. They not only took his chance to live longer away from him but they made his last days a living hell of fear, anxiety and humiliation. Because I didn't know enough I didn't insist on things I should have so I live with a guilt that really doesn't belong to me but I can't escape it. His doctor did that to him and to me. I know that I am supposed to forgive but I just can't get past those things.
That last day he was awake and not confused. He even got angry when they kept questioning asking if he knew his name and where he was. Just the day before he had told them that he wouldn't take the Morphine because of the way it made him feel. So they didn't ask him instead they went behind our backs and told his son that he was dying and giving him morphine was the humane thing to do. They never asked Johnny because they knew what he would say. He refused to just give up and die so they took the choice away from him. Just that morning he had again refused to sign a DNR when pressured to do so. That is why they made sure that he was not monitored or his vital signs taken for several hours. That is why they denied he was in a coma when I kept asking. That is why they just kept giving him the morphine along with the maximum amount of Vicodin even when he complained of no pain or shortness of breath. They knew that having the oxygen set at it's highest would only make the acidosis worse and giving him those meds on top of it would kill him. They knew and did it anyway. How can I not believe that it was deliberate?
I am so sorry for unburdening myself here so much but there are days that I have to get it out or lose my mind thinking about it.
I want to thank Karen for putting our names in a heart on the beach at Ocean Shores. I know she is there today and I can picture that heart in my mind. That is such a beautiful beach and Johnny loved it there so much. I had dreamed of us walking that beach hand in hand and he had talked about us spreading a blanket and making love there. Just more of our dreams that never stood a chance. The last time I took him there it was a beautiful day. The nicest I had ever seen there. We stayed in the car because he was afraid that if he got out he would not be able to breathe.
So ladies bring on the jokes and laughter tonight. Help me remember the funny things in life and the ones I shared with my Johnny. I've shed so many tears writing this and now I need the laughter and silly things to help dry the tears. I don't want to be angry or sad any more. I have had that for 3 days now and it is time for a break. I know my Johnny would want that for me.
-
Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy the following:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old
-
My heart is truly with you. I know how hard this must be on you and all of your family. It sounds like your dad is still hanging on even after being through so much. I think you are right not telling him. If these are his last days there is no need to add any more fear or depression to what he already has. Just continue to do what you have been doing, love him and let him know that you are there. My prayers are added to all of the others. Lillian
-
-
I agree totaly with the others. There is no place in the life of a person with cancer for an idiot egotistical doctor. Believe me I learned that the hard way. Make sure that you have the authority to get your son's medical records and start the process now while waiting for the other things you do to take shape. Those records will be very important to any place he may go for treatment and they will give you a record showing just how badly he is being treated.
I also suggest that the next time you talk to his so called doctor you have a means to record the conversation. He can't lie about the things he says when his voice is on a recording.
Your son's life is at stake so you have to take control of the situation. Never depend on the state medical board to help you. They are there for one purpose and that is not to help you. The threat of an attorney may work but don't count on it. I had an attorney tell me that once a person is diagnosed with lung cancer doctors can get away with anything by just saying "he had lung cancer. He was going to die anyway." That is a harsh truth to live with but that is how it works. Please don't waste one minute save your son from him and get those records.
Later when your son is taken care of let everyone you meet know about that doctor. Do it any way that you can, word of mouth travels fast and there is always the internet. Other people need to be made aware so they don't put their lives in his hands too. I wish you the best of luck and my prayers are with you. Now get busy and get your son away from that guy before it is too late.
-
-
An 85 year old man goes to the doctor. He is feeling so bad he can hardly get out of the chair and walk to the door. The doctor examined him and gave his advice about caring for himself.
A few months later the doctor is at a night club with his wife when he sees the old man. He can hardly believe his eyes. The old man that he thought would have been dead by then was on the dance floor with a beautiful young woman kicking up his heels.
Stunned the doctor had to know what that man had done to change him so much. He walked up to him and asked "I see you are doing wonderful. The last time I saw you you could hardly walk and now you are out dancing and having a great time. What have you been doing?"
"Just following your advice" the man said. Shocked the doctor asked "What advice?".
The man replied "Get a hot mama and be cheerful". The doctor said "no I told you that you have a heart murmer be careful."
-
Andrea I am so very for your loss. I know no words can make it easier. Just want you to know that you are in my thoughts. Lillian
-
This is a good one for Easter. We used to buy and extra two bags of candy for Easter. When the grandchildren would come to visit if they were occupied outside for a while "The Easter Bunny" would go through the house and leave candy in conspicuas places then one of the adults would stomp their feet real loud and hollare "get out of here you darn peasky rabbit". The children would run in and find the candy and always thought that was a part of Easter.
One day when my grandson was about 4 he called me to go into the bathroom with him. When I asked why he needed me with him he said because he was afraid of the Easter Rabbit. I reminded him that he had not been afraid of the rabbit at the mall and had even sat on his lap. His reply was "I'm not afraid of that rabbit it's the little one that I can't see that I'm scared of."
I noticed that the shower curtain was pulled back a little so I asked him how he knew that the rabbit wasn't in the shower. He answered "because I already looked."
Kids can make you laugh so much. I could write a book about some of the things that happened over the years with my children and grandchildren. Some day I might just do that! -
We had been living in California for several years when we paid a visit to my in-laws in Louisiana. They had several cows that they milked every day. My children had never been around farm animals and were facinated by the whole process.
One day we decided that we would all go to the zoo. We came across an area that had one very large bull with (get this Becky) very large testicles. My 8 year old son pointed and called out to his grandpa for everyone around to hear "Grandpa look what big milkers that ones got".
Needless to say I wanted to crawl under the ground.
-
Now ladies we know who the person is eves dropping on chat
It must be Tbone 
-
That is such woderful news Karen. God really does answer prayers and you are living proof. I'm really proud of you for refusing the Morphine when you felt like you didn't need it. God Speed in your recovery and will look for you back on chat.
By the way don't believe what Ry says about chat getting out of control. Would such nice ladies like us act like that? Really
-
I can relate to all of that. One nice thing about living in California is toilet set covers in all the bathrooms. They also double great as toilet paper.
-
A family joins a nudist colony. They young son asks his dad "How come some men's penises are big and others are small?" thinking quickly the dad says "well son it is all a matter of inteligence. The smarter you are the bigger it is."
A few weeks pass and the man is looking for his wife when he comes across is son playing with some other children. "Son have you seen your mom?" he asks. "Yes" replied the son "she went into the woods with a real dumb man".
Seeing the look of concern on his father's face the little boy quickly adds "but you don't have to worry Dad. He was getting smarter by the minute."
Okay chat ladies is that a good one or what?
-
No Tiny NUTS are what the festivals are about
-
that's the best discription I've ever heard
-
Boy do you have it right Becky. I could have swore tho that Johnny was older than me. 18?
-
Thank you Annie for letting us know. I do understand. Until you have been there no one can understand how you can feel so empty and still hurt so much. I too take all of the bad news to heart and have to take breaks once in a while. Seems like each new pain makes me start hurting all over again. Take care and know you are in my thoughts. Lillian
-
I just want to add to what some of the others have said. Talk to your mom. She hears. I go sometimes days without seeing anyone but I always know that my Johnny is near and I can tell him anything. So I talk to him and at times write to him. It helps get me through some of the hardest times. No it won't take the place of you mom being with you physically but it does help.
I pray for you and Curtis and all of us to find peace as my Johnny would say "just a little at a time". Bless you and keep you safe in your new home.
-
Well I tried it and see that it doesn't work. Says you have to be authorised. To get the information just type in Medicare Compare on Yahoo Search it is the 3 site you will see.
-
Anyone who is thinking about a nursing home for a loved one and would like infromation before making a decision might want to check out this site
http://www.medicare.gov/NHCompare/Include/DataSection/
they give data about the nursing homes and if they have been cited for any wrong doing or defeciences they are listed and graded according to the amount of harm caused and how many were affected. There is really a lot of information there and they cover any nursing home that is Medicare approved.
6 months today
in GRIEF
Posted
My thoughts are with you. I know how hard those aniversary dates can be. I'm very glad that you had a good day. So much time is spent in pain that we have to treasure the good days and hope for more.