lilyjohn
-
Posts
2,663 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Downloads
Store
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Blogs
Events
Posts posted by lilyjohn
-
-
I think I may have it Bruce.
Lung Cancer Support Community
Support, Information and Positive attitude from people who have been there. It makes a difference!
-
Bruce I like your idea. I think I have an idea but not sure if it is really enough tho short and to the point.Just print it in large letters and add the web address below.
Patients with Lung Cancer and Caregivers
I want to introduce you to a very special place. This is a place where you can go for information, support and inspiration. There are many people who are where you are now or have been there. We laugh, cry and pray together. We share our good news and encourage eachother/
There is much valuable information to be found there. Information that comes from the people who have experience not just what you find in books.
Please stop by and visit us at Lung Cancer Support Community. I'm sure you will find something that you need with us. Don't forget there is nothing more important than HOPE and that is the one thing you will find there in abundance.
Then post the address below.
You can add or delete from it but it may be a good start.
-
I replied to your other post and suggested you ask about Valley Fever or fungus. Those things are often mistaken for cancer. They are also very difficult to diagnose unless they are looking spacifically for them.
Several years ago my nieces husband became very ill. In the hospital his condition was not getting any better. A chest exray showed a spot on his lung the size of a grapefruit. They suspected cancer. Finally one of her children found the site about Valley Fever and told her about it. She asked his doctor to test for it. The biopsy took two weeks to confirm and when they did it was Valley Fever. It requires special treatment. Normal antibiotics didn't work.
This may be a long shot but it is worth checking into. Had they not discovered what was wrong with my nieces husband when they did he would not be alive today. Recovery was slow and he is still on medication after several years but he is alive and living a normal life. Type Valley Fever into your search window and read up on it. Ask his doctors to test for it. What can it hurt? You just never know what it will take to save someones life.
-
For the past two days I have read and reread Ann's post and all of our responses. There is just so many things I feel the need to say. As some of you know I have been writing mine and Johnny's story. He always said that we were one in a million because our love had lasted through so long a seperation and we got back together. Writing the part I am working on now is the most difficult thing I have done. I'm writing about his last two weeks. I have relived those days thousands of times sense his death and thought there was nothing that I had missed but now I have little memories that were tucked away somewhere that are just coming to the surface.
Norme what you said is so true. I have lost 3 brothers and both parents as well as numerous aunts and uncles and even my ex husbands family members that I was close to. There were also two others who were like close family to me. All of those deaths hurt and like everyone says they change your life. But there is a difference. When they died I still had a life and other people who could fill some of the emptiness. When you lose the one who you have shared your heart, mind, soul and body with you lose everything. Your dreams and hopes are gone. There is nothing left but a deep void where those things were. Life just looks so desolate and empty. I try to enjoy things that once meant a lot to me but they no longer bring me joy like they did before. The only real feeling that I have besides pain is anger. I think even my anger is my minds way of protecting itself from the pain that never really goes away. People try to help for a while but they have no idea what it is like until they get where we are. As Shirley (Sam's wife) says we all had different amounts of time with our loves but it is not the amount of time we had but the depth of the love we shared. I try to be upbeat and somedays I actually feel a little better but the ache in my heart is still there. I put on a face for people but deep down I feel like a fake because I know how I really feel.
It still takes so little to start the tears. I said before that I can't go get a hair cut or buy strawberries because those things have special memories. I can't see the valentines without falling apart because Johnny and I would have been married on Valentines Day. I hear a bird or see a cloud and remember something that he said about those things. I have moved twice sense his death and the reminders are still around me. He is everywhere but he is not here and that is the truth that I live with and the pain that breaks my heart over and over.
I have pictures of him and have him on vidio tape. I look at them all of the time. Unlike the rest of you I don't need them to see his face. Maybe because we were apart for so long all of his features and his touch are so much a part of my mind that I have no trouble recalling them. Maybe somehow my mind recorded them deeper because of our first seperation. We had one year of phone conversations and five months together. One month out of the five was spent in the hospital and another two months was spent battling the anxiety. We had two glorious perfect months together dispite his illness. It was just so short but I know that had I had a hundred years with him it would never have been enough. I would still have this aching in my heart that seems to be the center of my being sense he is gone.
I have had so many signs to tell me that he is still here with me. I know that someday we will be together again. That is the only thing that keeps me going but even that is not the same. I know that it will be different and I want it to be like it was. I want to see his eyes and his smile. I want to feel him pat me on the butt as I walk past and I want his kisses and I want him to make love to me again. I know I am being selfish when I say that even as happy as I am that he is not afraid any more and life can't hurt him anymore, I don't want him to be too content without me. I want him to still want me the way I want him. I know that he wants me to go one and have a life without him but like I said once before, I know him well enough to know that he wants me to love him so much that I ache for him everyday. I read somewhere that love is not selfish but when someone who is so much a part of you is gone it becomes very selfish.
The evergreens that he loved so much are all around me now. I live in a place that he would have loved and somehow I feel that I am not here by accident. I think somehow he arranged for me to be here. Everything I see is a reminder but the kicker is I don't need anything to remind me. He is always in my heart and on my mind. So maybe all of those little things that are reminders are really just here to remind us that they are still with us. Maybe they send those tears as well as the laughter when we remember something they did or said. Maybe the signs we look for are the things that cause us pain. They hurt and I am never sure when the same memory that make me laught yesterday won't make me cry today but if I have to feel those things to know he is with me I'll take all of them everyday.
Oh gee once more I have gone on for too long. Please forgive me. There are just so many emotions inside of me still so much pain and I never feel that anyone can really understand. After reading the posts on this thread I see that others feel the same things so I feel free too say what I feel. Thank all of you for being here. I can only pray that someday we will all know the joy of being with our lost loves again. Lillian
-
I'm not sure what state you live in but I will tell you that I know both Washington and California pay for live in caregivers. In Washington it is covered by Medicaid. I'm not sure who pays for it in California but it could be Medical. No matter what state you live in I"m sure that they too must have a program that would allow and in home caregiver. Do as Dean says and get in touch with Social Services not only can they help you with a caregiver (even some insureance companies might pay sense it is much cheaper than a nursing home) but they can help you find a visiting nurse to come at least twice a week and physical therapist as well. There are many options but you have to search for them. Social Services is the place to start because they seem to handle most of these things. Good luck. I hope you find what you need soon. Lillian
-
Add my prayers too. Best of luck and hope to see you up and posting soon.
-
Carleen. I am so relieved to hear from you. It sounds like you have the right attitude. Keep on with that and know that you have a lot of support here. Spend your time with that man of yours and take the best care of both of you that you can. My prayers will contiue to be with you. Lillian
-
-
A group of frogs were traveling through the woods and two fell into a deep pit. All of the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was they told the other two that they would never get out. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump out of the pit. The other frogs kept telling them to stop and that they were as good as dead.
Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and he sat down and gave up. He fell dead. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again the other frogs that were gathered around kept shouting for him to stop the pain and suffering and just give up and die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.
When he made it out the other frogs asked " why did you continue jumping didn't you hear us?"The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought that they were encouraging him the whole time.
his story holds two lessons:
1.The power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them. Be careful what you say speak life to those who cross your path.
It is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times.
Special is the individual who takes time to encourage another.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up. Just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
I think this should be posted in every Oncologist's office
This would be so much easier if it would let us cut and paste again.
-
Has anyone heard from Carleen yet? I'm sure they must have gotten the test results by now. I pray that they are just taking time off and her absense does not mean bad news.
-
Have they checked for Valley Fever or any other kind of fungus? Valley Fever is a very serious fungus and can be just as dangerous as lung cancer if not diagnosed and treated right. Just a suggestion but it wouldn't hurt asking if he could be tested for that.
-
I just had my radio on and heard something that made me stop and take notice. They are doing a telethon for the Make a Wish foundation. One of the stories they had was from a young boy 16 years old. He became very ill and was treated for alergies and other things for a while. It took a trip to the hospital emergency room for him to finally be diagnosed with lung cancer. His mother said that he had a tumor that took up most of one lung.
I just called the radio station and left the address of this web site. I asked the lady I spoke to to deliver it to them. I think they could use the support offered here and his story would be of interest to all of us. He is truly one that can show that it strikes all ages and not just smokers. I hope they take my advice and try to find us here. He is doing chemo and sounds like he has a rough road ahead of him.
I keep praying everyday that soon someone will see the truth and work to make the public more aware and help us find a way to beat this monster. It is hard to fight this with anyone but I can't even imagine the horror the parents of a 16 year old must be facing. Lillian
-
Boy do I know what you mean. Last week I finally got my niece to go to town with me. In fact she needed me to take her somewhere. I was glad for the company and enjoyed the time we spent together. We were at Costco shopping and I walked a litte ahead of her and that is when it hit me. Right in front of me were the floral displays. I don't have a card so never shop there. The last time I had been in a Costco was the night before Johnny's memorial service. We went to one in Olympia to buy some groceries and snacks for the next day. I bought two dozen chamgane colored roses for his service.
When I saw that floral display last week it was as if time had thrown me backward. I got that ache inside of me and the tears came on suddenly. I have trouble buying strawberries or getting my hair cut. Such simple things all hold such intense memories that they can throw me back in just one second. I can't help but wonder if there will ever be a time that normal everyday things will ever feel normal again. Lillian
-
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children and her husband died. She remarried and had another 5 children.
Alas she finally died. Standing before her coffin the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said "Lord they're finally together."
One mourner leaned over quietly and asked her friend " Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied "I think he means her legs."
-
There are no words but shock, disbelief and deep sorrow. May God look after you and your daughter. My heart breaks for you and all of us who will miss her.
-
I am wondering how many pages there are now on the Wall of Memory. Each time I go there I find only one page. I am wondering if my computer is just not finding them for some reason or is that all there are so far on this new site. Can you help me to understand if I am doing something wrong Rick?
-
I sent you an email with the information. Did you get it?
-
With Johnny it's coffee. He always had a cup of coffee in his hand. I smell fresh brewed coffee in the strangest places and at the oddest times. I have the last set of clothes he wore and his jacket and shoes. After 16 months they should not still have his scent but they do. Like all of you have said it is nothing that I can discribe it is just him.
-
Hi Rick
I sent you new information to post on the wall of memory for Johnny but can't find any record of it being sent. Did you get it? If not where do I send it to again?
-
-
I bet she was BLONDE too
-
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, "he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are"
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 60. "I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat." The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says.
"Oh, really?" he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."
Never underestimate how a woman thinks.
-
-
Leave it to Becky. We just can't stump her. I got 24 and thought I did good. Boy does that put me in my place.
The worse regrets we ever have are for things we didn't do or didn't say. Thank you for putting it into words so wonderfully.
Missing people? Worry wart here!
in GENERAL
Posted
Well I guess I am a worrier but I have been looking for a few people and see they have not posted recently and that bothers me.
Has anyone heard from AnnieMac? I think she posted once after Tim died and then no more from her. I would like to know how she is doing.
Now what about Betina? Last time she posted she sounded so down it really scared me.
Then there is the young man taking care of his dad Adam I think his name is? I know there are more but these are on the top of my head right now.
While we are at it anyone got an update on Karen or DavidA?
Please someone say you have heard something about Bobmac!
I do want to say welcome back Tbone. I hope you can enjoy a big shrimp boil or barbcue or one of those big family meals to put some meat on your bones and grit back in your spirit. Keep us posted and hope you feel better everyday!