lilyjohn
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This is not a joke but interesting. I got 23 then turned to the Bible and managed to get one more. It is not easy I have no idea what the other 6 are.
There are thirty books of the Bible in this paragraph. Can you find them?
This is a most remarkable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane
seat pocket, on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu, keeping him occupied
for
hours. He enjoyed it so much, he passed it on to some friends. One friend
from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his john boat. Another friend
studied it while playing his banjo. Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend, was so
intrigued by it she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another
friend judges the job of solving this puzzle so involving, she brews a cup of
tea
to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot.
That's a fact. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a jam,
especially since the book names are not necessarily capitalized. Truth fully,
from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or
scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something
in our
genes is responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in this
paragraph. During a recent fund raising event, which featured this puzzle,
the
Alpha Delta Phil lemonade booth set a new sales record. The local paper, The
Chronicle, surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that his puzzle was one of
the most difficult they had ever seen. As Daniel Humana humbly puts it, "the
books are all right here in plain view hidden from sight." Those able to find
all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have to be shown. One
revelation that may help is that books like Timothy and Samuel may occur
without their numbers. Also, keep in mind, that punctuation and spaces in the
middle are normal. A chipper attitude will help you comp ete really well
against
those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad
exodus, there really are 30 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this
paragraph waiting to be found.
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Add my prayers to the others. When Johnny had the benadryl in his IV it made him sleep for most of the day then after that he was fine. Hope you can tolerate this chemo. Best of luck. Lillian
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Alright boy you're good Becky!
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Oh yes I got you but they can't just proves the point doesn't it?
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As all of you know I am not a person of few words. I have some things that I want to say but I am really not sure how long this will be.
If just three and a half years ago someone would have told me where I would be now and what I would be doing I would have laughed at them and told them they were crazy. I have often heard the phrase "The Lord works in mysertious ways" I am living proof of that.
I was quickly approaching forty years in a marriage that had given me three wonderful children and seven grandchildren. One year later I would have another grandchild. I also had a lot of stress and not much happiness. My only dreams were dreams of living one day at a time and having as much time with my family as I could get. I was living my life through them. My husband was not a bad man but he was a man with his own ideas and his comfort and his wants was what our life was centered around. Because I had little self confidence I inpowered him to be very controlling. Instead of being a person in my own right I was his wife. I lost my identity many years ago. I was certain that I could never make it on my own. I had a thousand excuses why I continued in a marriage and a life that was far less than fulfilling.
I had no family close by but his family and our children's families. I had no neighbors other than his family and no friends other than his friends. To cover my lonliness I worked constantly. My sole purpose in life seemed to be to please others never myself. We had moved there to that small Louisiana town in 1971 thirty years earlier. It had been his decision and I had not questioned it. He was my husband and it was my duty. I hated the weather and not being able to see the mountains. I filled my life with work and never let myself think about how unhappy I was. My family needed me. That was my excuse for living the way that I did. I would do any thing to keep the peace.
One night in October 2000 I had a very real dream that was destined to change my life. That dream opened up a new world to me by reminding me of a time when I had been very happy and my life was filled with joy. I dreamed that I was lost and looking for something and couldn't find it. Then I felt arms around me. Johnny's arms and for the first time in many years I was whole and happy. As you have all learned Johnny was my first love and we had been seperated against our will because I was too young to know my heart or at least that is what everyone thought.
I was determined to find out about Johnny and it took months before we were in contact again. When we finally talked we learned that the love that had been born so many years before had never died. I also learned that he had come close to dying one night as fumes had overcame him. On that night he had prayed that he would not die alone with no one to love him. He asked God to give him something to make life worthwhile again. We learned that that had happened the same night of my dream.
We continued to talk and learned that the love we had would only grow but I was married and there was little chance that we would even see eachother again. We were three thousand miles apart. It wasn't long before we started dreaming of a life together but how would that be possible? I was married and my children and their families all lived near me. There was no way that I could leave them or hurt them. I began living in two worlds always fearing that I would fall off somewhere in the middle and lose both.
Johnny was very patient with me. He didn't want to interfer in my life nor cause problems in my already troubled marriage. He just let me know that he loved me and made me see that I have value as a person. I knew that I was being offered a chance for the happiness that had eluded me for so long but I was afraid. I became the queen of excuses. My main excuse for not ending my marriage was the same as it had always been. I didn't want to hurt my family. It took months of pain and confusion before I finally realized something. I could not live my life through my children and they could not live my life for me. I decided to get a divorce and come back to California and hope that someday soon Johnny and I could have a chance for a life together. Still I stalled and it took me over a year to finally tell my husband that I was getting a divorce and longer to tell my children and grandchildren. I had so many excuses.
One day something happened that made me see things as they really were. I was using my family as an excuse because I was afaid. By staying in the situation that I lived in I was hurting them more because they were seeing a side of both my husband and myself that was not what they had always known. My excuses were hurting all of us, my family, my husband, myself and Johnny. That was the push that I needed to continue with the life that I know now that God had planned for me.
I came to California but learned a month later of the posibility that Johnny had lung cancer. There was no time for excuses he needed me and I went to him. That was the best decision that I have ever made in my life. Two days after I got to him he was in the hospital with pneumonia and while there was diagnosed with stage IV NSCLC. Dispite his diagnosis we had the most wonderful life together. I have never known such love or happiness as I did with him and he assured me that he felt the same.
We were together only five months when he died. The circumstances of his death left a lot of questions and left me hearbroken and alone. It also left me angry at God because I thought that he had betrayed my faith. Four months after his death I was back in California and two months later went to work in the assisted living home. The job was both physically and emotionally draining but I managed. Then circumstances brought me here to this beautifull little town in Northern California. There is no way I would ever have found this place on my own. I know that Johnny arranged for me to be here. I feel him near me all of the time. If I had not made so many excuses we could have had at the least another year together. He would have gotten to the doctor sooner and maybe been diagnosed before he was in a late stage. That will always be a regret that I will live with. When you feel in your heart that something is right go for it because excuses don't change things. They only cause delays and could cost you so much.
Before I left Washington I asked Johnny for one of three signs to let me know that he approved of my leaving and that he would still be with me. I had had so many signs up there but was afraid that they would stop once I left. I had a few while living down south but sense I am here I have had all three many times. One of those signs was a robin because I had not seen one sense leaving Louisiana. The first time I saw a robin about a month and a half ago it was all alone and I saw no other birds the rest of the morning even when I took Misty for her walk. Sense that day every morning the first bird I see is a robin. Evertime I look out the window I will see a robin no matter what window or what time of day. They follow me and Misty on our walks. One morning I didn't see one right away. I said "ok Sweetie where is my robin?" and it flew and landed right in front of my window. I know that he is with me.
Each day I feel stronger. I still miss him and ache for him all of the time. I am still haunted by his death and the fear the anxiety caused but I am finally finding peace one precious minute at a time. This is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. Each morning I look at the hills around me and the beauty takes my breath away. There are all of the evergreen trees that Johnny loved so much and there are so many shades of green that I can't count them. Now the trees are all in bloom with white, pink and purple and it the green of the evergreens large patches of red bud are visable. There are yellow freesha and daffodils growing wild. This morning the shy was the deepest blue that I have ever seen. There are no words to discribe it.
I have always believed that for some reason God redirected my life. When Johnny died I thought of all I had given up to be with him and then lost him as well. I felt cheated and alone. I thought my purpose was to see that his death was exposed for the wrong that was done but I failed in that. Then I found this board where I can tell his story and hope that in some way it can help someone. This morning as I was walking and looking at the beauty that surrounds me I asked God to show me why I am here and what he wants me to do. I think tonight I may have gotten my answer.
I met a woman who had something show on her chest exray. She is one of my neighbors and lives alone. She has a CT scan scheduled for tomorrow. I offered to help her in any way I can. Maybe I can be her advocate at the very least I can bring her here. She has no computer so I will lend mine and offer her all of my positive thoughts help and prayers. Maybe that is why God put me where I am in life today. If not then I know that sooner or later what he wants of me will be revealed. I have to have faith. What I am supposed to do will come and I will find a way to earn a living. I have both God and Johnny looking out for me how could I possible lose?
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Two days ago I went to see this movie and the one word that discribes it best for me is powerful. I sat there unable to move with tears on my cheeks as Christ was brutalized. Each blow of the hammer or each lash of the whip felt as if it were aimed at me and I flinched. I left there feeling very humble.
All of our lives we hear how Christ suffered and died for us still we never really understand what that means. We are so used to the words the meaning of them gets lost. I can understand in some ways why it is rated R but still a part of me thinks that maybe younger people at least 10 and over should see it. Maybe seeing the suffering of Christ will teach them what compassion is and keep them from enjoying the violence that has become so much a part of our modern society.
I strongly recommend that anyone who has not seen this movie go see it now while it is in the theaters. I think when it comes to vidio it will lose some of the impact it has. It should be seen on a screen that shows it bigger than life because that is what it is all about. A love that is bigger than life. In this world of selfishness that we live in maybe we all need to learn what that kind of love is.
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True Doctor Stories
A man comes into the ER and yells,
"My wife's going to
have her baby in the
cab!" I grabbed my stuff,
rushed out to the cab,
lifted the lady's --Dress,
and began to take off her
underwear. Suddenly I
noticed that there were
several cabs, and I was
in the wrong one.
--Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
At the beginning of my shift
I placed a stethoscope on
an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's
anterior chest wall.
Big breaths," I
instructed. Yes, they used to be,"
remorsefully
replied the patient.
--Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
One day I had to be the bearer
of bad news when I told
a wife that her
husband had died of a massive
myocardial infarct. Not
more than five minutes
later, I heard her reporting
to the rest of the family
that he had died of a
"massive internal fart."
--Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
I was performing a complete physical,
including the
visual acuity test. I
placed the patient twenty
feet from the chart and
began, "Cover your right
eye with your hand." He read
the 20/20 line perfectly.
Now your left."
Again, a flawless read. Now both,"
I requested. There
was silence. He
couldn't even read the
large E on the top line. I
turned and discovered that
he had done exactly what
I had asked; he was standing
there with both his
eyes covered. I was laughing
too hard to finish the exam.
--Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
During a patient's two week
follow-up appointment with
his cardiologist, he
informed me, his doctor,
that he was having trouble
with one of his
medications. Which one?"
I asked. The patch. The nurse
told me to put on a
new one every six hours and
now I'm running out of
places to put it!" I had
him quickly undress and
discovered what I hoped I
wouldn't see. Yes, the man
had over fifty patches on his body! Now the
instructions include removal of
the old patch before applying a new one.
--Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
While acquainting myself with
a new elderly patient, I
asked, "How long have
you been bed-ridden?"
After a look of complete
confusion she answered ...
Why, not for about twenty years
-- when my husband was alive."
--Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked,
So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
It's very good, except for the Kentucky
Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,"
the patient replied. I then asked to see the
jelly and the woman produced a foil packet
labeled "KY Jelly."
--Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
And Finally . . .
A new, young MD doing his
residency in OB was quite
embarrassed performing
female pelvic exams. To cover
his embarrassment he had
unconsciously formed
a habit of whistling softly.
The middle aged lady upon whom
he was performing this
exam suddenly burst
out laughing and further
embarrassed him. He looked up
from his work and
sheepishly said, "I'm sorry.
Was I tickling you?"
She replied, "No doctor,
but the song you were
whistling was 'I wish I was
an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
--won't admit his name
These are too funny to be made up!!
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FUNERAL PROCESSION:
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman iin a black veil walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this.
Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Sure------Get in line."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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I wish we could bottle that attitude and pass it around. You are very inspiring. God Bless you.
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Backwards Sayings
1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
2. A backward poet writes inverse.
3. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
4. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
5. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
6. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
7. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
8. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
9. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
11. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
12. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
13. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
14. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
15. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
17. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
18. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
20. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
21. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
22. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
23. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
24. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
25. Every calendar's days are numbered.
26. A lot of money is tainted - 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
28. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
29. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
30. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
31. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
32. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
33. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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Have fun with them Ginny everyone needs a good laugh once in a while.
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> 1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
>
> Unique Up On It.
>
> 2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
>
> Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
>
>
>
> 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
>
> They Take The Psycho Path
>
>
>
> 4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
>
> You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
>
>
>
> 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
>
> Dam!
>
>
>
> 6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
>
> Polaroid's
>
>
>
> 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
>
> A Stick.
>
> 8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
> Nacho Cheese.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
>
> Subordinate Clauses.
>
>
>
> 10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
>
> Quattro Sinko..
>
>
>
> 11. What Do You Get >From a Pampered Cow?
>
> Spoiled Milk..
>
>
>
> 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a
> Vampire?
>
> Frostbite
>
>
>
> 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
>
> A Nervous Wreck.
>
>
>
> 14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
>
> Anyone Can Roast Beef.
>
>
>
> 15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
>
> Right Where You Left Him.
>
>
>
> 16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
>
> Because They Have Big Fingers..
>
>
>
> 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
>
> Because It Scares The Dog.
>
>
>
> 18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
>
> Sanka.
>
>
>
> 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
>
> The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
>
>
>
> 20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
>
> Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
>
>
>
> 21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad
> Skydiver?
>
> A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
> A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
>
>
>
> 22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The
> Same?
>
> Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
>
> Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile
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Today would have been my Johnny's 71st birthday. I never got to celebrate with him or make it a special day for him as I wanted to do. I want to post my birthday thoughts to him here. I know that somehow he sees them and knows.
I can only say now Happy Birthday my love. It may have been your birthday but on this day 71 years ago a special gift arrived to wait for me. That gift was you Johnny and today I celebrate that gift and the beautiful love that we shared. I may have much pain because of losing you but my heart can remember a love that was pure joy. It may be your birthday but I am the one who recieved the gift long before I was even thought of. I will always be grateful and know that something and someone so special never really dies. Yes I got your gift today too. As always they were there with me and Misty on our walk. Thank you for reminding me with those beautiful birds. I love you always and forever. Lillian
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Shirley I am so glad that it looks as if your brother is not going to have to fight the beast again. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Lillian
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Hi Tbone sorry that you didn't catch any fish but don't blame it on the women in the boat. If I still had my rod and reel I would let you borrow it next time. It had experienced catching a lot of fish. My son used to tell his dad that when he wanted to borrow a rod and reel he wanted mine because he wanted to use on that knew what catching fish felt like. So much for women being bad luck on a fishing trip. I could out fish any man.
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Clawing my way out of the pit
I have not posted here for a while. I still read nearly everyday and feel the pain and euphoria of the ones who post either bad or good news. Because I have been in my own pit of mixed emotions I have felt that I had little to offer anyone else.
I can't say that what I have experienced is depression tho I know that at times there have been minutes or even hours of deep depression. Mostly what I have experienced is a sense of drifting without anchor or purpose. The feeling that my usefullness is over. Much of that came from not getting the job that I thought I would but to be honest it started the day that Johnny died and tho often it is in the back of my mind instead of the front it has influenced much of my life sense then.
For a long time I have been working on the story of mine and Johnny's relationship. I have relived not only our time together but the time we spent apart. In doing so I have had to do a lot of soul searching. I have come to learn many truths and see that I still have much to learn. For so much of my life I have depended on others to make me happy or to make me feel needed and worthwhile. It is a very common mistake that we all make at times. In my case it was a mistake that ruled my life and nearly destroyed my sense of self worth.
In the past two weeks I have come to many realizations. We are placed on this Earth for a purpose greater than our own welfare. Each and every one of us is exactly what God intended us to be. He makes no mistakes. The things that we gain and lose in life are put there for us to learn but most of all they are put there to lead us to the greatest purpose of all and that is to learn to love and except each and every person on this Earth no matter how many flaws or inperfections they may have in our eyes. It is how we accept and learn from our problems that we have control over. We can not blame God for not stopping the things that cause us our greatest pain. He feels our pain too but he gave all of mankind free will. It is that free will that causes pain not God.
I have come to accept the fact that Johnny is gone from this life. I can not go back and change the things that were wrong but I have to learn to accept them. I have to learn to forgive both myself and others who caused him pain during his life as well as the ones who helped end his life too soon. Because I accept and forgive does not mean that I condone. My purpose in life is to make a difference someway in the attitude that not only took his life but causes so many people to be forgotten and neglected every day. I could not get anything done to make the ones who made us suffer held accountable and that put me in a very bad place. Now I know that had fault been found in a legal proceeding I may have accepted that and let it go. Because I could get no one to act I searched for another way and in the process I found this board that not only allows me to tell our story but gives me the emotional support that I need. Some how I feel that is why some of the disappointments in my life have happened.
I was very upset when I came back after a few days and found that politics had raised it's ugly head here. I read but made no comments. I was tempted to stop comming here but a realization hit me and I know that I can not do that. I see that when we get too comfortable with something we become complacent. We lose our passion for a cause. Sometimes it takes adversity to shake us up and get us back onto the right track. Without passion for a cause we will never accomplish anything. So many things I forgot when Johnny was doing so well. I was so happy with my own lot in life that I forgot there were others struggleing with many of the things that I had. I was comfortable, happy and selfish. When the anxiety hit him it shattered my self centered world and forced me to see again how many things are wrong in this world and need changes. His death sent me in a downward spiral but it also made me try to find a purpose for our suffering. The culmination of our lives could not be just the few short months of happiness. I could not accept that everything that we had both lived through was only to give us that. Now I know that I was right. I have something that needs to be done that only I can do. In time I know that I will find what that is and fulfill my purpose. Until then I have to live my life with faith.
Faith is not just believing what we have no proff of but knowing it. I have been reading the book "the purpose driven life". At first I was afraid that it would contradict my beliefs but I have learned that it reinforces them. Now I have to learn how to put the lessons I have learned into practice. My biggest obstacle is learning to forgive both myself and others. It will not be easy but I know that I can not go forward until I do.
I was depending too much on other people. I needed their company and for them to validate the things that I thought that I knew when I found that I could not get it I let myself slide into depression. I got so many signs from Johnny that he is still with me but when those signs slaced off I felt defeated and started to doubt the things that I know. I realize now that my faith is being tested when I have no more of those signs. I may go days or weeks without one but I have to know the truth in what I have had already. Until I trust enough to have the faith of knowing not just believing I will never be satisfied and my fears will continue. The signs are not often like they were but the one thing that I do know is that he sends me robins as a reminder. Each day the first bird I see is a robin. That has special meaning between Johnny and I. They follow me and Misty on our walks and they stay in my yard each day when the other birds leave.
We have so much to learn in this life and each day we are given gentle reminders. When we refuse to pay attention to those reminders other more frightening and painful reminders are allowed. God does not bring pain to us but he will allow it as part of the free will that he had given to mankind. Things like 911 and war are wake up calls. They happen to remind us of what is really important in life. On a smaller level maybe cancer and loss of a loved one are the same wake up call. I find it hard to believe that it is coinsidence that right now the two most popular things being discussed in this country is the book "The purpose driven life" and the movie "The Passion of Christ". Maybe those things are a way for us to heed the wake up call and learn that life is not about taking but giving. Giving the love and time that God was generous enough to give to us and using it wisely to help spread love to the people who we encounter everyday of our lives. We need to start somewhere and that start can be now. As a wise man on this board says all of the time "one day at a time" and I believe "one person at a time'.
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Well Becky it could be. Too bad if he risked getting his *****cut off and didn't know what to do afterwards!
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Carleen
I have been staying away from here for a while because I am still dealing with some of the issues mentioned in the responses from the others. I really feel a need to give you some advice that I wish someone would have given me.
As Dean has said it is normal for Kieth to want his life back. Who wouldn't? The truth is he is smart enough to know that can not happen. He just had to let it out because that is what is deep inside of him. That is something he will come to terms with no matter what route he decides to take.
I was so much like you are right now. When Johnny started with the anxiety it was much worse to deal with than the cancer. He tried to blame his problem on everything except the fact that he was afraid of what lay ahead. I often said that he was afraid to admit that he was afraid because if he did he would have to face the fact that he had good reason for his fears. I knew that about him but never realized that it was true for myself as well.
We knew each other so well that without talking about our fears the other was still very aware of them. Had we shared what we were feeling like we did everything else I doubt that his situation would have gotten so bad that it cost his life. You can not support each other if you do not share. Believe me I know. I got the mistaken idea that I could shake him out of the anxiety. I told myself that I wouldn't talk to him about death or his fears because I didn't want to make his anxiety worse. The real reason that I couldn't admit was because I couldn't face the possibility of losing him. Not only did we rob each other of what could have been some very special times but we were unable to give the real support to one another that we should have. You can not deal with your fears unless you admit them openly.
You and Kieth are so close and need each other desperately more than ever. Talk to him. Learn his fears and share yours with him. If you don't he may start to feel that you don't trust him enough to share your real feelings with him. That can make all of your problems so much worse.
You are the most important people in each others lives and you are facing the biggest thing that anyone can face. Doesn't it make sense that you should share everything about it. Fear can destroy so many things in your life. Having the fear that cancer brings to you is more than enough to live with. Don't add the stress of trying to keep your feelings to yourself. Believe me if you do they will come out. When they do it can be in ways that make you not even recognize yourself.
Talk to him. Share your fears and tell him exactly how you feel and listen to him. That may be all he needs just for someone to know what is going on inside of him. I would also recomend that you see a therapist of some kind. There is nothing shamefull in asking for professional help with a situation that can rule your life. Both of you need that help while you are still strong and able to put energy into the fight it takes to learn to cope.
If I had it to do over again I would open up and share all of my fears, hopes and needs. I would also listen to his with an open mind. I would also make a lot of demands that I didn't at the time. I would demand that a counciler be assigned to help Johnny handle the things that were eating at him inside. I would seek one for myself as well. Stress , fear and anxiety are 3 things that can kill on their own. Add them to cancer with no help to deal with it all and you have a very deadly mix.
You will get through this hard time but how you get through it depends on your willingness to face your fears openly and discuss them together.
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I put off writing this but sense some of you have asked I guess it is time. I got a call this morning. They gave the job to someone else. As you can guess this has not been a good day..
I think I knew when they hadn't called me by yesterday. What really upsets me is that they acted like they were going to hire me. As if the other interviews scheduled were just routine. Told me that my references were fantastic and didn't see any problem with me being able to handle the work. They even said they would work with me for the wedding.
Maybe I am being overly suspecious because I have seen so much lately but I think I know what happened. They are not allowed to ask your age on an application. I think when someone came that was qualified and was younger that made the decision. She said that they found someone who had more of the skills they need.
I have been working for over a year to try to make people realize that just because someone gets old or sick doesn't mean that they have no more value as a person. The problem is up until now I thought of it as helping others. This is the first time that it has hit home that I am one of those older people that I talk about.
So that added to my most recent slide down that old tube that is always waiting to swallow me. Now I just have to find a way to pick myself up again. The seat of my pants are getting worn from always having to dust them off. Anyway because of all of that I chose to stay off of the computer most of the day. This is the first time I have been here today.
I turned to my old standby friend that is my best crutch when I get down, work, not just any work but hard work. I did what I have meant to do sense I moved in here. I took the top of the stove off and then the burners and scurb, scrub, srubbed. Now it finally looks like my stove at least that part of it. The oven and broiler get their turn tomorrow. I did manage too to get my granddaughtes quilt finished. I started it before Johnny started with the anxiety then put it away for months. Now at least I can say that I acomplished something even if it doesn't earn me a living.
I want to think all of you again for your prayers and special comments. That means so much to me. You are all such wonderful people. God Bless all of you. Now I just have to tell myself that this happened because something better is coming. Making myself believe that is another story.
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Thank you Tbone. Isn't it amazing how easy it is to forget what really is important until we have a reminder in our life?
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That is so beautiful. Bless you for reminding us.
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Thanks for your responses. Becky I agree with you that none of us would want to go back to a time when none of the modern conviences were available. I have lived that way because as a child we were very poor. In many ways those days were much better because despite the hours spent working just to survive people had more time for each other. In those days priorities were family and survival not convenience and accumulating things. Even if we never attended church on a regular basis we knew that God existed and there were reminders everywhere.
I believe that most of the major problems in this country started when we removed God from our everyday life and put money and power in His place and in the place of family togetherness. Most of all we have become a country of people who look for the easy way out of any situation. Now the easy way has in many ways become the hard way so we search for still another easier way. I believe that sometimes we have to do it the hard way or else we forget that some things really are worth working for or waiting for.
I do agree with you about the plastics and other products that are oil based. Living in Louisiana I saw several areas where all kinds of cancer seemed to be increasing at an alarming rate. As you know Louisiana is a very large oil producer. Most of the states economy is tied to the industry.
The main point that I wanted to put across is that there could be any number of reasons that lung cancer as well as others are increasing. There are more reasons for that than just smoking, asbestos and radon. A cure may be a simple as one small thing or it may be a series of small life style changes. Those could be a proventative. Most people never put real effort into changing their life style until threatened with a serious illness so the changes don't always work. In the modern world most of those changes would be nearly imposible because we no longer control our invirnment. I just think that there will never be any progress until there is more research into the causes. You have to know where it comes from to hit it before it gets where it is heading.
All of the things that we have mentioned could be factors but artificial sweetners and birth control coinside with the rise in smoking increases by women. I think that makes it a good place to start but will anyone ever seriouslly look into that? I doubt it because like oil products there is just too much money envolved to risk exposure. I really do believe in the saying "money is the root of all evil" just the desire to have it and control it is the real culprit not the money itself.
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That was very well said Teresa and let's not forget the impact that cancer treatment has on state and federal budgets. Once money takes control of anything it is not long before it is ruled by money. People and their lives become second or even lower on the totem pole.
We can't expect the government to do anything to change that because it profits too. The only way to make a change is to remind them that the government is supposed to be the people governed. Until enough people do that there is little hope that anything in the system will change.
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call to God
in HOPE
Hello God,
I called tonight
To talk a little while
I need a friend who'll listen
To my anxiety and trial.
You see, I can't quite make it
Through a day just on my own...
I need your love to guide me,
So I'll never feel alone.
I want to ask you please to keep
My family safe and sound.
Come and fill their lives with confidence
For whatever fate they're bound.
Give me faith, dear God, to face
Each hour throughout the day,
And not to worry over things
I can't change in any way.
I thank you God for being home
And listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice
When I stumble and fall.
Your number, God, is the only one
That answers every time.
I never get a busy signal,
Never had to pay a dime.
So thank you, God, for listening
To my troubles and my sorrow.
Good night, God, I love You too,
And I'll call again tomorrow!
a real scare
in JUST FOR FUN
Posted
Here is a chuckle to brighten your day!!
Make sure you've got the right email address before you hit "send"!
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to
thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the
very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years ago.
Because both had jobs, they found it difficult coordinating their travel
schedules.
It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his
wife would follow him the next day.
Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. In his room
there was a computer, so he decided to send his wife an email back in
Minneapolis.
However, he accidentally left out one letter in her address, and sent the
email without realizing his error.
In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral.
The dearly departed was a Minister of many years who had been called home to
glory following a heart attack.
The widow checked her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends.
Upon reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw
the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
I know you are surprised to hear from me.
They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to
your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!!