butterflylady0607

This Depression is driving me crazy. Ive had support since i found out about my tumor and my ex husband came to say with me to take care of me after surgery. Well he had to leave and go back home to Mass to his job. So im here at home all day by myself. I do have a son chris he is 16 and in school all day then off with his friend so its really lonely. I dont know if I really need to have someone here or its just being scared about everything. I went to the dr for depression pills just how long does it take for them to start working. How do you control all these feelings I keep think that its going to come back. Im so scared that i cant go back to work im afraid that i wont be able to do it all day.and if i cant do it i have no one to count on but me to pay the bills. I cry and sometimes dont even know why.can anyone tell me how to deal with all of this. any thing would be helpful.

may there be many more years for you. I wish well.

I just had a pneumonectomy on july 11,2003, I was dx with neuroendocrine carcinoma large cell carcinoma. I was wondering if there was anyone else out there with the same thing. They were able to get all of the cancer and it was not in my lymph node which is a good thing. They want me to have chemo therepy but Im not sure i wante to go through all that. the Dr told me that there was only about a 10 percent chance that if there was any more cells in my body that the chemo would kill it so ive decieded at this time not to go through anymore. something else that i really didnt understand sand is i was told if they removed my lung and it wasnt in my lymphnodes then there wasnt anything else to worry about. So im totally confused about the chemo at all. I also have advanced emphasyma in my other lung and have a really hard time doing to much of anything . Just trying to walk around the grocerie store is alot for me. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions. I dont mean to be long about this but i guess this is a good place to vent I have been so depressed over this whole thing i feel like im useless and also feel like no one else is ever going to want me because im not a whole person. Ive been to the dr and now on meds for depression. Its gotten so bad that i have started smoking again which i didnt want to do i was doing so well for so long. If anyone could give me some of there thoughts I would very much appreciate it.