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Ashaki

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Everything posted by Ashaki

  1. Prayers to you and your mom though this difficult time. Ashaki
  2. Well, I got impatient and called today. The results were in and I had errans to run so, mom got the call. She just asked about the tumor. They did say it shrunk some from the radiation. But, now I have more questions as in is it still over her kidney area,has the cells spread out side of the areas where they already are,does it seem to be slowing down the growth process. Not, to meantion the tumors on the head they didnt scan. I know they say uncurable but, come on then they say its shrinking is this just a tease of hope or false hope?!?!? At the same time Im not sure mom told me the truth about the call, when I questioned her about more info she told me I didnt ask because I dont care. If she doesnt care why do the chemo. Why sit and watch yourself get sick and suffer more so everyday? I guess Im truely not understanding or she is just protecting me that much she doesnt want me to know. Either way it hurts to see her not care, continuing to smoke...ect.....Who knows what tomarrow will bring but, praying for more time with my mom! Ashaki
  3. Thanks for your reply! I always feel as if Im dreaming and waiting for it to be over but, guess what it never happens! More and more gets added each and everyday. We went for her CT scan and I was so impatient so, I said to the tech I know your not allowed to tell me anything so, how bout you stand there and nod your head when I ask the question....lol I figured this way he really didnt say anything but, gave me the info I wanted to know. Of course a week before we go back for her treatment and the doc will tell us then. The longest day and a week is going to seem like ages...lol Shheesh I wished on these test they can tell you something right away isnt enough with everything else the paitent and families have to go through to only play a waiting game for results. Ashaki
  4. My mom goes in tomarrow morning for her CT scan to see if all this is working. To be honest with you I really see her gettin worse than she was before the dignoses. She coughs up blood...ect alot. She sleeps all the time, hard time breathing all the time now and she is just blah. You know I ask her if she is scared about the test or what it will show and she tells me NO! I'm very scared what this test will show. I don't feel the way she does nor do I tell her how I feel about it as I'm glad she has high hopes. But, the DR said next Tuesday when we go in he will give us the results and her life expectancy and not the average of up to a year that he gave us almost 3 months ago. I find this hard as I want to know the results but, at the same time I really don't. The other thing that worries me is she keeps alot from me when she is not feeling well. She trys to tell me she is OK but, I honestly want her to tell me as I want to be there and help but, cant if I don't know. I caught her smoking again the other day as she tells me OH THIER NOT MINE! And go back the next day and their gone but, the pack and her lighter are still there. I know she is old enough to do as she wishes but, doesn't she understand I'm 34 and not ready to loose my mom and the rate she is going with the coughing up blood (prob. from smoking) isn't helping her any. Prayers to you and yours! Ashaki
  5. Ashaki

    His fight is over

    Janette, Deepest condolences to you and your family. Ashaki
  6. Sorry for not posting so much. Life has thrown alot at me all at one time it seems like. Anyways, wanted to give you all an update of the last Dr appointment. I took mom in August 12,2008. The wbc is in normal range just alittle anemic but, has gained 6 1/2 lbs in 2 weeks...YAY! The Dr said the coughing up blood was her throat mucus glands inflamed and caused some irritation which lead to that. She is however coughing alot and has alot of mucus which I dont know if it is normal or not. He wants her to get a CT done on August 26,2008 on chest and abdoman to see if any of this is working or not. I'm very scaed about this and it's weeks away. I honestly don't see a change in mom since she was dignosed. She sleeps alot and has seemed down/blahh but, tells me everything is ok. Im alittle concerned as I dont want her to hold back from telling me she is sick..ect. Keep you posted on updates! Prayers to you and yours! Ashaki
  7. Thank you both for the kind words and letting me vent. As, far as help my older brother is POA #2 and decided after he signed he didnt want to help nor the responsibility. All he choses to do is try to control everything and all the decisions. He has also moved a few months ago and left all this on me alone. So, my feelings are you walk away and want no responsibilties than you shall have none. When something happens to any of them he will be the one regretting what he didnt do and could have done., Not I! My mothers brothers and sister chose to also be the same way unfortantly. Thats the reason I stepped up and took POA over my g-pa as no one else was going to. My mom there was no thought just doing...she my mom . But, you now they will have have to live with the saying "Do on to others as you would like them to do on to you"! Ashaki
  8. Hello, I posted a week or so ago in the introduction section. I have been meaning to post more but, life got too busy. Anyways, after I have posted my mom started coughing up some blood and was starting the vomiting . All, this has stopped after that one day. Now, she's just coughing up clear to brownish stuff. WE go to the DR on Tuesday so, will post any updates that he gives. You know Im so frustrated and just wanna break down and then cry. I bealrly sleep at this point as not only as there is not enough time in my day but, toss and turn and wake up within the hour of me falling asleep. I know with mom there is a very long road ahead of me there. But, my grandpa is in the hospital with pneumonia and not exspected to make it (I have POA over him also). And the call this morning that my grandma got rushed lastnight to the ER and they admitted her with possiable surgery. Im so scared if something happens to either parent mainly her mom that she will give up to. Im not ready to loose 3 people. You know what gets me the most at this point people keep saying "Keep praying" I have done this since the start and all he does is add more and more to me. Im really thinking GOD has me mixed up with someone else and he can stop at anytime. Dont get me wrong I do NOT regret anything Im doin not even for a second. Im sorry for releasing all this on you all but, thank you in advance for listening to me. Ashaki
  9. Hi, Thank you all for the replies! Its wonderful to know there is a place to go when you just need to talk to someone who understands you. Ned, my mom has had 10 radiation treatments to the back of the head and chest. During which time they had her on a weekly low dose of chemo which lasted 3 weeks. This past Tuesday they started her on the full dose which now is 1 time every 3 weeks. And she also goes the day after for a shot to help with producing WBC. Im sorry not sure on the names of the chemo medications other than one starts with a T and other a C. Prayers to all of you and yours!
  10. Hi, My mom of 55 yrs old was just dignosed with Non small cell lung cancer. She has a 7cm tumor on her upper left lung/bronc. tube and 2 tumors on her brain and has spead to the area above her left kidney not to meantion all over her other lung. I am her caregiver and have 4 children of my own as well as POA over my g-pa for other issues. Im hoping I can learn more about the road ahead and the steps Ill be facing. PLease keep us in your prayers and you and yours are in mine! Ashaki
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