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shrimp

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    laking,boating,reading
  1. shrimp

    Thank you

    I just want to clarify the " being shunned" part. I do not now believe I was being shunned. It was a part of my process of grieving- blaming the forum for my feelings. I only posted it because I thought there might be others that felt this way and it might help them to know it can just be part of the healing, may be a signal that you are ready to share these feelings with family and friends now. It is so easy to displace your feelings when you are going through something traumatic.
  2. shrimp

    Thank you

    I want to thank everyone for their support and hugs during and after my Dad's illness. I have been increasingly dissatisfied with this forum and felt like I was being shunned, for my many posts and maybe too much emotional info. But I have come to realize it was not the forum. It was me- needing to talk one on one, touch and be touched- to my loved ones.I thought I was protecting them from my anger etc. But they needed to be a part of it. We needed some time to heal before we could start talking about it all, and this forum got me through that time period. Now it is time to rejoin the family and we will help each heal, with anger, tears, memories , laughter and lots of love.
  3. Today was much better, with a smatter of anger when a co worker asked about the care Dad got. She is having problems with a parent and wanted to know if I had had any. I gave her an earful, but the anger wasn't as bad as it has been. I just feel bad that another person is having trouble, and this is not cancer, but elder care, trying to get a wheelchair from insurance and Dr. problems. Her mother is disabled and the seat of her wheelchair wore out. Insurance won't pay- apparently you are only allowed one wheelchair per lifetime.
  4. I have spent quite a bit of time online today. Trying to keep my mind occupied. Thanks to those that have chatted with me and helped me get through the day. Wed. I always spent with my parents. Since I am self employed, I can arrange my own schedule. We decided on Wed. because that is when senior citizen discounts are offered here.LOL I am so glad we started that tradition so many years ago. But last Wed was so hard. It was just my Mom & I. We got through it OK. I have asked her if she turns to talk with him and he is not there. She says no, he spent so much of the time in the hospital,or confused, she was out of the habit already.
  5. My kitchen. We started work on it 2 years ago. I have most of the base cabinets and appliances. We put up a light fixture on Friday that we bought a year ago. No rush you know.... it would be nice to have doors and drawer fonts. I get hangnails from from trying to claw open the drawers.LOL
  6. I sent it to my family and friends and I am already hearing back about what a wonderful song it is. Your post has made a lot of people both happy and sad, laugh and cry, remember......
  7. You and your Hubby will be in my prayers. Here's hoping you get news to post under Good News.
  8. Thank you. It has me sobbing, but it is beautiful.
  9. I wish there had been time for people here to know my Dad. I read some of the posts of family that have been going through this for a while now. It feels like you know them. And even tho I am sent hugs and told to vent, we didn't really get time to bond, share stories, learn about each other, like so many of you seem to. And maybe that is why I can say things here that I won't say to my family. They hurt too much and I won't add to that. So, I guess as usual, there is good and bad, pro and con. Now I feel like I am rambling.
  10. I have concentrated so much on the bad, I thought it was time to show some of the good that happened. Our family doctor was wonderful, especially at the end. He is the one that arranged Hospice and got Dad's pain under control. The ER staff were very caring. There was a nurse and PCA on the onc. that sat and held Dad's hand the night we brought him in so confused. They let us go home to rest, since we had been up for 3 nights with him. They stayed and talked with him and listened to his stories about what was happening in his hallucinations. That night he was trying to save his soldiers( he was retired military) and he needed to get in a bunker and do something to save them. At home he thought we were trying to keep him from saving them.There was one nurse in rehab that was so wonderful. She was the one that skipped the onc. and called our family Dr. and got him notified of what was happening, the pain med orders, hospice orders. The onc was never seen or heard from after Dad was discharged from the hospital and sent to Rehab. I know this is a mix of good and bad, but baby steps. I am trying to focus more on the good.
  11. shrimp

    Good bye

    I think I need to leave, for a while at least. I find myself jealous of those who are responding to treatment, depressed and generally unfit to be with others. I have wanted to respond to others, to help, but it usually turns out sounding bitter, so I don't submit them. So, until I can get it together, I will go. Thanks to everyone for your help. In time, I know I will be back and can help others.
  12. shrimp

    2 weeks

    I just don't feel like I should keep posting, the way I feel. It brings everyone down. They come for information and support. I read about people's visits to other sites and how the forums are full of people complaining. They like this site because it is uplifting. Then I look at my posts and so much of it is complaining. I am normally a strong person. I don't want to be a victim. And that seems to be what my posts say- victim. So I will just buck up and get on with life. No more pity parties.
  13. shrimp

    2 weeks

    It has been 2 weeks. Sometimes it feels like so much longer. My husband took me away for the weekend. I still have anger issues but I seem to be getting that under better control. Crying unexpectedly, still. Mom is getting on with things pretty well. She calls more, so I know she is lonely. We all miss him.
  14. shrimp

    Depression.

    (((Caren))) I feel for you.
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