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Connie B

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Posts posted by Connie B


  1. Dear Rose & Eftal,

    I would like to welcome you both to LCSC. I would like to say Congratulations on being a LC Survivor! :D:D I too am a Stage III A-B lung cancer survivor, and I am coming up to being a 15 year survivor. I wish you both to be a 15 year survivor too. :wink:

    Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Keep coming back. I look forward to getting to know you.

    I sure would like to hear from all of our Lung Cancer Survivors. How about we ALL check in?!?!


  2. Oh Andrea, my Dear and Darling Sweet Gal Pal, Who in GOD'S name is tired of hearing from you? I agree 180% with Katie, that these kind of people shouldn't be HERE! OY! :roll::x

    Sweetie, I am SO happy to hear about Mom. My Love to Mom and please give her a HUGE HUG from one survivor to another! :wink:

    However, I am not happy to hear about your Dad's new news. :( But, we never give up hope and you know that. Give dad a Fighting hug from his hidden supporter.

    I haven't been keeping in touch with my dear old friends, mainly because I don't have much to say, and I've pretty much said all of it a million times over. So, I am just a lurker now. But I do think of you and your entire family more often then you know.

    My Love & Support to you, and My love and support to your family. (hugs and kisses to the babies)!

    My prayers are always going up for you and your family.

    Love & Hugs,

    Connie


  3. Welcome Susie,

    So sorry you have to find us, however I am glad we are here for you. I am a soon to be 15 year Stage IIIB Adenocarcinoma Survivor. Glad to hear you have alot of fight in you, this isn't a cake walk, but it sure is doable and fixable. There really are a lot more survivors of lung cancer then there use to be, so in short, they have come a long ways baby in treating lung cancer. Still got a long ways to go, but I'm always hopeful.

    Hope you stay with us and let us get to know you over the years. This is a great support system. :wink:


  4. Dear Ry,

    Thank you so very much for sharing this incrediably sad news. I know you and Rich were very good friends, and I am sorry you lost such a dear friend.

    Rich was alot of support to so many of us. Rich was a mountain full of information, and always went the extra 100 miles to help everyone when they needed it.

    He is and always was an Angel, he will be greatly missed.

    My prayers are with is family and his dear friends. This is hard to beleive, I never though Rich would leave us. Although he will remain near and dear in my heart and memories. He was a hero in so many ways.

    Hugs,

    Connie


  5. I guess we can all related to the loss of a loved one. We can live behind there memeories and there shadows,but that don't do any good for them or for us.

    I don't **Word not allowed** foot around about it anymore. They are gone like it or not, I can NOT bring them back. Nor can you, I can remember all the wonderderfull fun things we did together when they were here. That's what I choose to do.

    God Loved our lost loved ones, because I sure do. I am proud of all my loved ones, and I want them proud of me. There memory lives on forever...

    Hugs,

    Connie


  6. Lilly, I thought maybe something that was said here from Dr. Phil might be of help for you regarding dealing with your grief. I have found much of what this man has said to be helpful to me in during my grieving times.

    And it has helped me to move on to new chapters in my life.

    May tomorrow pass softly for you.

    Hugs,

    Connie

    Experiencing Grief after Loss

    “Although the experience of grief in some form or another is universal, our reactions within the overall process vary widely. Newer research and my own experience tell me that, really, there are not stages of grief but an array of feelings that arise,” says Dr. Phil in his new book Real Life: Preparing for the 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life. These emotions don't pop up in a specific order, and it’s rare that one set ends completely before another begins. More likely, you’ll experience a number of emotions — perhaps one at a time, perhaps three at a time.

    Consider the following when you experience a loss in your life:

    Give Your Emotions Free Rein

    “Initially, you may feel as though you’re living in a fog, simply going through the motions of day-to-day life as if on autopilot,” Dr. Phil says. You may cry so much that your eyes feel parched. It's OK to spend days where you do nothing but cry. Or, you may be surprised to find that you’re not crying at all. Neither reaction is right or wrong; it just is. If the latter is the case, you may feel a surge of guilt wondering why you can’t even eke out a tear for someone you cared so much about. The spectrum of emotions that you may experience is huge. It can range from shock and numbness, to fear and panic, to anger and resentment.

    Sometimes this can be magnified if you have unfinished emotional business with the person who died. You didn’t get to say what you wanted to say, or you didn’t hear the “I’m sorry” or “I love you” that you desperately needed to hear. Or maybe your goodbye did happen, but not the way you planned.

    It’s hard to accept that a future without your loved one is your new reality; the mere thought of it can make you feel amazingly empty and alone. The yearning for their presence may feel as if it is going to consume you. As a result, you may refuse to get out of bed, want to go off alone somewhere, or push others away. "You may think being alone will ease the pain, but it rarely does."

    You May Struggle with Your Faith

    You might feel a sense of spiritual emptiness, or feel that you were betrayed by your faith, or experience feelings of bitterness, anger and disappointment in your religion. After all, if the God you believe in is so good, how could he take away something you loved so intensely? How could he allow a senseless or violent death to occur? This is painful and confusing and something many, many people experience — especially when innocent children are the victims.

    Expect Guilt to Arise

    Guilt may also factor in during the weeks and months after a loss — guilt over being unable to save your loved one or about just living your life. At some point you will likely catch yourself laughing or relaxing. It’s natural to actually start to feel better at some point after grieving a loss. It’s also natural to feel guilty about it. You may think, “How can I stand enjoying myself when my son is dead?” If you realize that a day has gone by when you didn’t think about your loved one (which may or may not happen in time), you may feel guilty that you’re “forgetting” him or her. If it takes a short amount of time to recover from a loss it doesn’t mean you only loved a little. The depth, breadth, and longevity of your grief are not a reflection of how much you cared about the person.

    http://drphil.com/articles/article/12/

    Related Links

    "What Do We Do Now?"

    Dealing with Anger and Guilt After a Suicide

    Take Responsibility for Your Life

    Forgiving Yourself After the Loss of a Loved One

    How to Give And Receive Support

    Getting Through the Grieving Process

    Moving Past a Moment of Crisis

    **************************************************

    Forgiving Yourself After the Loss of a Loved One

    If you are suffering from feelings of guilt after the loss of a loved one, even though the death was not your fault, Dr. Phil has advice on how to forgive yourself so that you can move on.

    •Know that it isn't uncommon to play the "What if?" game: "What if I could have stopped it?" "What if I had only known the accident would happen?" "What if I could trade places and it could have been me who died?" etc.

    •You may also find yourself feeling guilty if you catch yourself smiling, having a good time or simply enjoying life after your loss.

    •Although there is no set timetable for grieving, if a substantial period of time has passed and you are still not allowing yourself to move on past the grieving process, allowing yourself to be crippled with guilt for something that was not your fault, ask yourself why.

    •Understand that in any situation, even one like this, people don't engage in a behavior that they don't get a payoff for. Is the fact that you can't move forward a payoff in itself? If you feel the only connection that you have with the deceased is your grieving, could that be a payoff? Is the guilt a payoff? Are you punishing yourself because you feel you deserve to be punished for being a bad mother/sibling/friend/spouse because you let your loved one die?

    •If you won't move on past the grieving process because the grief is your current connection to the deceased, ask yourself how terrible it is that your precious loved one is being remembered as a legacy of pain that you choose to carry around. You're focusing on the moment he/she died instead of on the moments he/she lived and the joy that he/she brought to your life. Isn't that a terrible burden to place on your loved one?

    •If you want to forgive yourself, understand that guilt is all about intention. Is there a bone in your body that wished or intended for something bad to happen to your loved one? If not, why are you feeling guilty?

    •There comes a time when you have to say, 'Enough is enough. If I give up the pain, I'm not going to lose him/her.' How long you grieve or how deeply you hurt does not reflect how much you loved. The fact that it's been two, five or 10 years and you are allowing yourself to live life doesn't mean that you love him/her any less. It doesn't mean you've forgotten your loved one.

    •When you are ready to let go of your guilt and grief, it may help to speak out loud to your loved one, expressing your continued love for him/her while affirming your decision to let go of the grieving process: "I love you, but I have to let you go. I will love you until the day I die, but I'm going to let you go."


  7. Lillian,

    I think Judy and Deb covered roll call very well in the General Forum and the Early Stage Forum. We had a very good reply from members of LCSC.

    It's always great to hear from those that are beating this beast, be it late stage or early stage. No matter what we all stand together in this battle.

    I wish us all good luck and God bless us all who are on this journey, and I hope we hear alot more good stories from those who are surviving. :wink:

    God Bless to All,

    Connie


  8. Michelle, are you having a service or a memorial for your husband. I don't know if I ever heard his name. :oops:

    Some people may like to make a memorial donation in memory of your husband here at LUNGevity.

    I feel like I know so much about you after reading over some of your posts, yet I don't know where you live or what your husband's first name is or your son's name. And believe me when I say, it might just be me not knowing this, because I don't read everything. :oops:

    During our grieving journey, it's always a good idea to share warm stories about our loved ones with others. it's good for healing.


  9. Okay, I know I shouldn't do this, but this was on the Front Page of the AOL website as a front page story.

    Wife, Husband Both Battle Breast Cancer

    I have never seen on a front page saying "Wife, Husband Both Battle LUNG Cancer", and I can assure you, there are many that have and do!

    For those with Breast Cancer, please know I am NOT bashing you, some of my Best Friends are breast cancer survivors. Okay, having said that, I'm done.

    Hugs to All,

    Connie

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