Linda74

Michelle, see if Hospice offers a 7 week program for the newly bereaved. That is what I attended. I also found a widow group on Meetup.com.....I don't know your age, but our AARP has a widow group as well that meets every two weeks. Many churches offer 8 week programs. I don't know where you live but would be happy to search for you..... As Lily said, be careful with the meds. Do try to eat. Even if just for your son. He is worried about you as we all are. And if you can't get some Ensures or something.....you need nourishment. Grieving takes a lot of energy. I lost quite a bit of weight initially during my husband's illness and death.....but it found me again:) Keep posting we care and want to help you..... No one needs to walk this path alone....

Michelle, I just read your post. My husband passed Dec. 30, 2008 so I am ten months into this. Firstly, let me offer my deepest sympathy. There really are no words that can express my condolences. Those who are "walking the walk" know how painful this is. Hold on, Honey. Someone on this board recommended the Widownet site....www.widownet.org and it has been a life saver to me..... I attended the Hospice bereavement group and it was very beneficial....no men prowling..... And after all of the meetings, we have decided to meet once a month for dinner. We formed an incredible bond....a variety of ages, circumstances,....Do it, it will be worthwhile. You are able to express yourself and that will help you on this journey you never signed up for.......reach out....you have a community of friends here who get it, care and want to help.... God Bless you......

Lily, thank you for taking the time to write your lovely post. My husband passed away on Dec. 30 of 2008, merely 4 months after diagnosis....far too young. I continue to mourn the loss of him and the loss of our future. I look to strong women like you who have walked the walked and survived this devastation. I post a lot on the Widownet forum....www.widownet.org It is very helpful. thanks to you, dear lady. You are giving back....

I miss my wonderful husband who passed last December just four months after LC diagnosis. I miss our past and most of all the future we had planned. I miss his gentle ways, his humor and his support. I miss being "we". He was taken too young by this insidious disease.

My daughter is definitely walking and I hope to join her if I can change my work schedule.

I am so sorry. This is a difficult journey. My husband passed on Dec. 30, four months after diagnosis. I get a lot of comfort visiting an posting on the widownet site. www.widownet.org At least, you will be among many who understand whtat this is all about as people do here....

It will soon be 8 months since my wonderful husband succumbed to this insidious disease....4 months from diagnosis. Today, in cleaning out a drawer, I found the report from his first catscan.....which was compared to the x-ray taken in the hospital 3 weeks before. I guess during the last 8 months I have replayed over and over, what if....you know what if he checked this out or that out....he did complain a year earlier of pain in his sides but the doctor dismissed it as muscle strain....and then almost two months were wasted with a faulty diagnosis of sciatica...anyway as I read that report, I realized that that awful beast was ravaging his body and had spread everywhere..and there was no chance......it was unbeatable. I haven't been here in a while and it just pains me to see all of the new postings.....It is encouraging to read the stories of those who have survived but so damned discouraging to hear so little about this disease in the news and know how much it has to be stopped....anyway, just ranting I guess...it will soon be one year from the day of diagnosis, the day our lives changed forever....I am trying to crawl out of the abyss. His passing was much too soon....we had so much more to do together... For spouses grieveing, I highly recommend the widownet board.. www.widownet.org It has been a lifesaver for me. Thanks to all of you for being here. I know what a comfort this board was especially at 3AM when I could not sleep.

You are a brave lady....keep fighting....you are in my prayers....many people have had great luck with Alimta....my husband had it but his cancer progressed really rapidly...he was stage IV to begin with mets in the brain, bones, etc. etc....he initially had a good response to the Alimta.. God Bless...there are many survivors on this board....who will tell how they beat the odds.....

You are so new to this. We had four months from my 62 year old husband's diagnosis til death. That was five months ago and it has been a kind of grief rollercoaster for my kids and myself. Reach out to all you can and take care of yourself. Unfortunately, after a month or so, many people think you are over it..and of course you are not..grief is not linear, but try to let your memories comfort you....and come here often....we are here for you

On Dec. 30, my wonderful husband, Jim, succumbed to lung cancer after a 4 month battle with the beast. I was with him throughout in and out of the hospital. He was able to die at home with Hospice care the last night. I miss him so much. From the point of diagnosis, he never had a chance. He was stage 4...had been indestructable or so I though....strong, athletic, loving life ...and then the beast got him. Only a brief smoking history 34 years ago. Now that the memories of the illness are fading, I am waking up in disbelief that it has all occured. I have joined widow support groups and have begun to volunteer tutoring kids at a homeless shelter but nothing can begin to address the profound sorrow and sense of loss in my heart. My grown kids and friends just cannot fill the void he left. He was my best friend and number one supporter and I am truly lost without him. My bright future seems gone. I know that others are so much worse off than me and I need to be thankful for my blessings but I do feel so sad that none of the treatments gave him even one good day. He suffered from the point of misdiagnosis to diagnosis and took it all with never a complaint or a "why me?" He fought the best he could til the end, and remained so stoic. He spent his life exercising and eating properly....and he died far too young....Thanks for listening.

I am so sorry for your loss. He put up a valiant fight but the beast won. Widowhood is a painful journey. I am one month ahead of you and can say just be kind to yourself every day.

Dear Meemaw, I have just been through it. My husband passed away on Dec. 30th. Feel free to email me at Ljmlbald@yahoo.com It is a very hard situation but with help of others and coming to this board, you will get through it.

My husband's cancer spread so fast and he had so many complications that he only got 4 rounds of Alimta/carbo. In the hospital, when the cancer was advancing rapidly, they began Tarceva, but he only had it for 6 days until I took him off of it because he had such shortness of breath and had deteriorated so fast, that I felt if Tarceva was a drug to stabilize him, he was no longer at a point where being stabile would mean quality of life. Teardrop, it is a difficult question. I think when you see your sister, you will better be able to judge what is right. In the end, it is her decision but perhaps having people there who love her will bring out the "fight" in her. I know that is what urged my husband to fight.

Welcome, Gary This is the place to be. It sounds like the positive attitude and medications are doing wonders. Cherish every day. She is stabile and that is a miracle.

My husband's pain became very acute and they had pain management people increase his fentanyl patch and give him dilaudid and later morphine. Xanax also helped as he became very anxious. Hospice was wonderful at helping us with the whole process and even now that he is gone offering grief support. She should not be in pain....and despite enough pain medicine to keep an elephant down, my husband was coherent right up until he was actively dying. God Bless You and come here often....you will be taken care of.