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I wanted to thank everyone on the board who has been so supportive through this battle that my stepdad and family had to endure. Steve lost his battle to Lung Cancer on March 31st and both my mother and I were there with him as he took his last breath and traveled to heaven. I have been heartbroken, as has my family. Although his battle was short (only 7 months since diagnosis) it was long enough. We are certain that god took him sooner than later so that he never really had to suffer through as his disease progressed. He was a wonderful man who we will never be the same without. I will continue to pray for each and every one of you who is fighting this awful thing called cancer. May a cure come quickly.... Although you dont know me personally, I thought I would post the tribute page for my stepdad on here so you could look if you are interested. He was a piece of our family's puzzle that will never be replaced. http://www.lifetributes.com/StevenFoster Jenn

I haven't written for awhile, although I still pop on and read for inspiration! My step dad has been hanging in there for a couple months...in fact, I have become his main caretaker besides my mom, and have been loving every minute of it! He is at home under the care of hospice and has been very stable. He still cannot walk, because the mets to his spine and hip, and although they were radiated and relieved the pain, he has no muscle in his legs because it has been so long since he has stood on them ( 2 months at least). He seems to think that radiation is did something, because the pain went away. He is in pretty good spirits, but hates being confined to the bed. We do get him in the wheelchair quite often so he can eat at the table and hang out on the deck on nice days. He and my mom really want to take a trip, but he cannot use his legs, so he cannot get down the steps to the car and still has a catheter also. His energy level varies day to day and sometimes he is awake and hanging out all day with me and others he is very sleepy...In fact, this Wednesday we watched movies, played cards, did PT by getting him to stand for a few minutes with the walker and more...then Thurs, Fri and today he has been wiped out. Today he has slept most of the day and of course, my mom worries because it seems to be from one extreme to the other...feeling great then not eating and sleeping all day...very much an emotional roller coaster. She always worries that he is slipping away when he has bad days...I guess that is normal to be so worried when things seem to worsen for a few days. Lets hope he rallies back to the card playing self this week! He is not on any meds now to prevent the cancer from spreading and growing...he did try tarceva, but the mouth sores and diarrehea was so bad that they took him off and didnt put him back on. He isnt really supposed to be on it anyway with hospice involved...sometimes they get on my nerves but wanting to push upping his pain meds...he even told them that he doesnt need more med right now!! Anyway, he had a bad day today and I guess that is why I am writing. I havent been in denial, but I have had so much fun hanging out with him and he has been in such great spirits, that I have kinda pushed the fact that he is terminal to the back of my head and now, today, seeing him sleeping and not well....it resurfaced all the emotions of death and how the end is going to come. Can you be soooo good one day and then the next be sooo bad and then feel good again? I will never stop believing in miracles. Please continue to pray for him....as I do for all of you. Although I dont post a lot, I still am keeping up with how everyone is doing. Jenn

Well, my stepdad is still in the hospital and waiting to go home. There is really nothing else that can be done but pray for a miracle. He has the cancer mets in his hips and even though it is isolate there, its still bad. He got radiation (10 rounds) there to help with pain, but the only way he can regain his strength would be for the radiation to releive pain and for him to get so much strength that he could go on more chemo. He is very weak, and only eating about 750 calories a day. He is on pain meds to manage the pain and he is comfy. He is totally lucid and reading his book and stuff, but he is not eating enough and Im worried about that. He did respond very well to chemo, but the chances of him being able to endure more is next to none. He is going home tomorrow with hospice care, but yet yesterday his legs were better and the doc was amazed that he could move them so well. (he cannot walk at all...) So, one day we get news of him feeling good and then the next day may be bad news. He is really coming home to pass, but since he is stable, they say it could be some time since he is almost getting a tad stronger....we just need him to NOT get an infection while at home. He and my mom are talking about their lives together and have been very emotional with each other. He advised me over the weekend he is not scared, but its just so hard to believe that sometimes. I spent the whole day with him yesterday and he was so "well" and lucid and comfy, that its so hard to imagine he is terminal and is going home to pass. He was on tarceva but had to stop because of mouth sores and not eating....he needs to at least eat for strength....anyway..I just wanted to vent. If you have any input about this process, please let me know...otherwise prayers are always helpful and needed. I just realize that I rambled a lot...sorry...my story was kinda all over the place:) Thanks, Jenn

Thank you everyone for your kind word and prayers! We are still praying...I will be going there to visit him tomorrow and every night I just pray that the morning will bring any improvement.... This website has been so wonderful for me. I have kept my optimism by reading all the wonderful stories and advice... Jenn

My stepdad Steve is still in the hospital and has been for almost 2 weeks. He went in for leg pain still after having both tumors shrink from chemo treatments. He was eating and totally coherent when he went in, and now he is out of it. He is on lots of pain meds to keep him comfortable, but he is not eating and its been 5 days. He was on tarceva and it gave him such bad mouth sores and diarrehea that they took him off of it 3 days ago and now he is just on his pain meds and getting his 10 days of radiation to the hip area where the pain was coming from. (another mass there...) Anyway, my mom claims how bad off he is now and I just dont understand how he can be so bad off when all his vitals are good and his blood all came back in the normal range. I know he has cancer still, but she seems to beleive that he is dying this week....and I just dont understand how that could be. Am I in denial? He does look bad...skinny and out of it from the meds..but what if the radiation kicks in and the pain is better? I keep thinking that maybe that will happen and that he could regain strength to eat and come home. Has anyone been this sick or had a family member this sick and weak and bounce back? I dont know if its just wishful thinking on my part? How long does is take for radiation to take affect if its gonna work? We are just praying for him to rally. When you ask him, he says he is gonna still beat this...I guess that is all we can ask for is for him to not give up on himself. Im going to see him tomorrow and although it will be very emotional for me because of how weak and thin and sick he looks, I feel like I need to go and be a ray of sunshine for him and be a postive.... Thanks for letting me ramble....this cancer thing is so terrible and it does such terrible things to your body and mind...uggg.... Jenn

Im in as well...I want to do this for my stepdad who is currently fighting hard and is in the hospital as we speak....

Steve, my stepdad is still in the hospital...he got 4 rediation treatiments to the new area on his spine where they saw another mass..(really...its isolated throughout his hips). He was fine when he went in except for pain, but now he is not eating, and very very weak. THey also see some inflammation in his lungs and said maybe the very beginning of pneumonia, but got him on antibiotics right away. His vitals are good, he got a transfusion for his low platelets and he is drinking well. I have been very optimistic until last night when I went to see him and he looked really bad. Very skinny, very weak and hardly talking. He is coherent when he is awake, but is on a lot of meds for pain until the radiation kicks in and stops the hip pain. We are hopeful that he will rally and get through the radiation and be pain free...but he looks so sick! It was so hard to see him that way, when just a week ago he was eating full meals and got the news of substantial shrinkage of the lung tumor. Its so hard how this disease can be so up and down all the time. So, now my mom is looking into her options if the radiation doesnt work and what she needs to do to keep him comfortable. I have been praying so hard that he can come through this. THe fever is gone, so we are hoping that the inflammation is under control. He has NO lung congestion either. The docs say that the inflammation could be from the radiation...but who knows. He is also on Tarceva right now, and that is making his mouth really sore and dry. We just want him to pull through...please pray for Steve. We need him to get better and get those next 5 radiations next week and be able to get up and come home!! Thank you all for your support and advice. Jenn

Thank you all for your kind words and support! I know Im not very good about coming on and updating... 2 weeks ago we got GREAT news that my stepdads tumors (the main on on the lung and then the one on the hip) had "substantial shrinkage" as the Dr put it. We were so excited, because the chemo has been hell and it's nice to know that its been worth the hell!! And of course, excited that the tumors had shrunk. The lung tumor shrunk from golf ball size to a marble size!! Anyway, when he got the news, he had already been having some leg pain, but thought it was maybe the end results from the last chemo, or mayby atrophy from not moving around much from chemo....well....just about 4 days after the good news, he ended up in the hospital because he couldnt move his legs at all because of severe pain. Low and behold, they do a MRI and find a mass on the other side of the hip....UGGGG....HOW COULD THEY MISS THAT?? He had just had scans done and found out that the tumors shrunk...why couldnt they have seen this one? Anyway, he is now still in the hospital and getting immediate radiation to the new mass they see. I dont know size or even how many he will have to get...but he is pretty drugged up again for the pain and it makes me so upset. He was doing so wonderful and was finally feeling better,...eating so well ...gaining weight again..etc and now this. My mom is just dealing with it...not showing much emotion...and that worries me. She stayed here this weekend with my family (my daughter had minor surgery for adnoids and tonsils) and she seemed to have fun here. She says we are great at getting her mind better:) Thats what kids and grandkids are for:) So, instead of celebrating the shrinkage, he is back to the beginning with this new tumor. He is on the tarveca now, and will be until the next check up in 2 months. He was so happy that his infusion chemo was over and then here he is, back in a hospital bed and in severe pain. Mom said tonight that they are hoping that this radiation will shrink the tumor...and they are saying that because this tumor wasnt radiated before like the other 2, that may be why its just now showing up. I just dont understand because can 2 tumors shrink so much and then another one grow all at the same time while on chemo??? I didnt think that could happen! We are praying for this tumor to have the same results as the last ones...just so darn frustrating!!! Jenn

Hi, I posted on this site back in Oct and have still been keeping up with reading, but not posting. I thought I would give an update on how my stepdad is doing...last I posted, he had been put back into the hospital with a fever after his chemo. He was able to go home shortly after being admitted, and once they got his fever under control. It seemed to be an infection with his mediport. He has since gotten his 2nd and 3rd round of chemo and is so very weak. After the 2nd round, he was weak for 2 weeks straight and barely able to walk around because of his legs being so weak...then, in his 3rd week after treatment, he was up shopping at the store and driving...then he had to get his 3rd round of chemo and it hit him all over again...the weakness, and soreness. His WBC were down this time and he had to get a blood transfusion...He also got another infection this time, but nothing major and was just put on oral antibiotics. He is still weak from this last chemo..its seems that each chemo hits him harder...is this normal? So, my mom and he had an appointment this past week to just check in. His DR told him that he is only prolonging his life and when the chemo is over, the cancer will come back. I was so pissed that a DR could just tell them this without even seeing any scan to see what the chemo has done. Has anyone ever had this happen? It seems the Dr is very pessimistic and it always gets my mom so upset and she is trying so hard to be strong. My stepdad has been doing so well (after the initial sickness of chemo wears off) and here the Dr tells them this just a week before Christmas. Now, my mom has been so down and sad and Steve, my stepdad, is saying that after the 4th round (which is supposed to be his final before his scans) if nothing has changed he is done. The chemo has been terrible...and Im sure that is the case with any of you on it. He feels so bad and weak after an infusion. The chemo makes him so sick and I wonder if he will ever get better, and then it happens...he is up and walking and eating normal and then ....he has to go get another one. What a vicious cycle...but I know its worth it in the end if it kills the cancer. They both, have been so upbeat and optimistic through this whole thing. When he first started chemo and I first posted, he could barely walk with such bad pain in his back...now he is walking around (with a walker because of his weak legs) and he is going out and getting around. Now, to hear such negative news, it just made us all so sad again. He seems to think that something good has happened becuase he is able to get around now and is on hardly any pain meds...but when your doc isnt hopeful, how can you be?? He will be getting his 4th chemo right after Christmas and then he will be getting all new scans and PET scans to see what the chemo has done to the tumors. We are praying for shrinkage...but the Dr. made is seem that even if it shrinks, it will come back full force. Thanks for letting me vent. I have been just so upset and now, even more so. The holidays are here and my mom cant help but to wonder if this will be our last Christmas with him and Im trying to get her to not think that way. I believe in miracles and prayer. Please pray for us and for my stepdad...he is just too wonderful to leave us yet! Thanks, Jenn

I wanted to ask if anyone on the board has had any experience with a doctor at either John Hopkins Hospital or Georgetown Hospital? My mom is planning a 2nd opinion for my step dads situation and I thought I would ask if anyone has been there of known someone who has and what kind of experience you had. Thanks, Jenn

I am new to posting on the board, but have been reading the inspiring stories and advice for the past month now. My 55 year old stepdad, who my kids, husband and I are extremely close with, was diagnosed with stage IV NSC Lung Cancer on Sept 6th. His started out with bad back pain and he limped around for at least a month thinking it was a pulled muscle. The docs had given him steroids and more also thinking he had pulled a muscle since he is such an active guy. When the pain in his back and leg wasnt going away, they decided to do an MRI and discovered a tumor on his lung. Apparently the tumor spread to a spot near or on his spine, which was causing all the back and leg pain. He was admitted to the hopital for pain and to determine his treatment plan. After all the test were run (and I dont remember all the test they did and do...) they found the there was no cancer in any other organ, or blood or bones or lymph nodes. The lung tumor had spread to the spine through blood, although the cancer isn't in his blood. There was talk of surgery to remove the tumor on the spine, but because it was a risky surgery, they opted to do the radiation and chemo instead, hoping the tumor would shrink and the pain in his back would subside. (even though it had eaten some into his bone already). He received 10 rounds of radiation and then was to start chemo right after. He had no real bad side effects to the radiation but the pain was still bad in the back. He started chemo 2 weeks ago and is supposed to go back this Friday for his second treatment. (He is doing chemo 1x every 3 weeks for a 6 hour session. He gets 4 meds in his chemo...)The first week after his chemo he was fine, although the pain was there pretty bad and he did lose his appetite...but never got sick. He did force himself to eat so he won't lost too much weight and he was doing good after a few days except for the severe pain in his back. He and my mom started to worry that the radiation was supposed to maybe shrink the tumor enough to reduce the pain, but nothing was getting better. Last Wednesday, my mom called the doctor when the pain got so bad he couldnt walk to the bathroom. They admitted him in the hospital and he was there until today, where they were managing his pain and re evaluated everything. THey took scans again and saw that nothing had changed yet, and that the tumor on the spine is bothering a nerve and has eaten into a bone which is causing all the pain. They asked about surgery again, thinking that doing chemo for the next 9 weeks or more is going to be hard to get through while in pain. The docs still say the surgery is too risky, espeically now that he has gotten chemo and radiation and if they operate that it may not heal. He and my mom have decided to try to manage the pain and continue chemo, because the docs think that it is working since nothing has spread or grown. He came home today, loaded with diladid for pain mangement and got settled. He is able to walk, although slow because of the pain....he is eating well and even mentioned the leg pain being better today. Then, at dinner time, my mom felt his head and he was burning up. He had a 103 temp and she called the doc. They said to get him to the hospital right away (so he was home for maybe 4 hours) and the ambulance came and got him. He is now at the hospital, getting admitted once again. My mom has had high spirits as has he , but after talking to her tonight, she seems to be slowly getting more and more sad. I dont want either of them to lose hope, but the doc did tell them before chemo started that he had a 1 year worse case scenerio to a 5 year best case scenerio situation and to get all their stuff together. My mom is a wreck tonight after having to send her hubby to the hospital again. I am spending a lot of time with her, as I always did, and so are my kids who are VERY close with them both. My kids are ages 7 and 10 and they brighten her spirits when we are with her. We are keeping them away from my stepdad because of germs and infection. Does anyone have a story like this? The back pain or spine tumors? The fever after chemo? I just need some inspiring information....it is so hard to keep good thoughts in your head when it seems that all around you hear bad. I keep asking myself if he will ever be the same Steve again? Thanks for reading my story...I hope that I will have better news soon. Jenn