Carolinamoon

Thanks, Laurie, for your kind words. There is a meeting at the health care facility tomorrow in regards to the plan for my MIL. I think they got the message that she can't go home and are discussing with the family other options. If there is room, she may go to the Hospice in Branford, CT. However, that is a bit of a drive for us so we may not be able to go every day. Hopefully, we can arrange so one of her family members or friends can be there each day. I can't attend as I have two meetings at work tomorrow, but my husband will be there. Apparently, medicare will pay for the hospice. She is doing markedly better now than 3 weeks ago. But the tumors in her head are growing and larger doses of steroids are being used to keep the swelling down. She has a problem remembering what she was going to say quite often, but if you give her time to think, she can often remember what she was going to say. The cancer has also spread to her lymph nodes, kidneys, liver and spine. This disease is so up and down. One day the patient is pretty well, the next very bad - its so stressful. THanks again for your words. I really appreciate it. And, Laurie, best wishes to you. Caroline

I haven't posted in awhile, but I read every day. My MIL was in the hospital 3 weeks ago with abdominal pain. They found mild diverticulitis and also that the cancer had spread further - it's in the kidneys, a small part of the liver and spine. She was put on heavy anitbiotics, a pain patch and morphine. She had two seizures. After that, she was unable to speak or move her right hand for a week. She then started to talk alittle. It was decided that she should go to hospice and she was put in a local well=known, facility which has some hospice beds on their acute medical floor. Its been two weeks now, and she has suddenly improved in that she is talking well (although she forgets alot) and is using her right hand much better. She is only on the patch for pain and her regular meds for seizures and the steroid. She is not able to get out of bed and won't use a bedpan, so is "using the bed". THis facility has decided that, since her insurance is running out on April 15, she is doing well enough to go home. She lives in a two floor apartment, ALONE, with two small dogs. The Hospice Nurse who coordinated this whole thing says that her children WILL HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HER. Well, each of the kids has their own homes, some with families, and all have full-time jobs. All the kids have visited her almost every day of both hospital stays and have been very attentive and caring. However, all are very upset by this. MIL refuses a nursing home setting. How does this Hospice representative think that my MIL can be sent home without full-time help? Her regular insurance from her job ended almost 3 weeks ago and she only has medicare now. She has no money to hire full time help. Does anyone have any ideas for us? My husband has been extremely upset and stressed since this cancer thing started in Nov. 2003 and this is causing more. I am really worried about him, but he refuses to see his doctor about help. THank you for any help you can give. Caroline

Thank you all for your kind words. I went to see my MIL today and she improved aliitle since last nite. The seizures she had were caused by an increase in the size of the tumors in her head per the doctor. He said these problems are progression of the disease. The family is going to send her to Hospice in Branford Connecticut. It is the best hospice facility in this area and I've only heard good things about it. Things are getting alittle tense within the family at this point. I am trying not to take anything personally and try to stay out of their decisions and problems unless I am asked for input. I am supporting them as best I can, but today I just broke down and cried because it has been an exhausting 2 days, physically and emotionallly. My greatest hope is that she dies peacefully and in no Thank you again and I pray for all of you.

Jenny I am so sorry for you and your family. This is a difficult time. I am in a similar situation now and can understand how you are feeling. My prayers are with you. Caroline

I haven't posted in a while. My MIL was diagnosed with Stage IV squamous cell in November. Fist sign was due to mets to brain. She did 14 WBR treatments. Started chemo and did one round of three treatments ( one a week for three weeks, then one week off). Her second round was supposed to start last Friday, but blood counts were too low. She was supposed to start again today. All along she has been doing really well, living alone, taking care of her apt. and 2 small dogs and a bird. She was feeling pretty well with no pain and only complained about fatigue and vague feelings of "not quite right". Yesterday afternoon she started getting really bad pain in stomach area so bad she was doubled over. Her daughter called the Doctor and took her to the hospital. Come to find out, the cancer had mets to the liver, kidneys and she had a minor case of diverticulitis. They put her on pain meds and iv antibiotics. She was pretty out of it due to the meds, but she would focus on you and occasionally be able to speak only a word or two. She was like that all day but spoke less. Tonite she had two seizures an they added more meds for that. It doesn't look good at all. It amazes me that she was "fine" (considering her disease) early yesterday and has gone downhill so fast. Maybe those with experience can give me some idea of how this can happen so quickly. The family feels that her days left are few. Thanks for any info you can provide. Please don't be afraid to say it like it is. I am a need to know person. Caroline

Lilyjohn That was a beautiful story. I agree with you that each person affects so many others in their lives, many times without even knowing it. I find that reading on this website has made me think about living as well as death and dying. The people here have so much strength and share with others even as they struggle each day to help themselves. Its a great thing here on this site. Thanks to you for the story and thanks to all the others here that are so giving. Caroline

Hi TBone My MIL (age 67) was diagnosed a week before Thanksgiving and her only symptoms were losing her train of thought when talking, forgetting, and some confusion. We thought she might have had a stroke, but it was three lesions in the front of the brain - later they found two more. (She has been diagnosed with stage 4, squamous.) The decadron alleviated the symptoms within hours and she was acting perfectly normal. However, when they were easing off the decadron, she starting to backslide. The dose was raised slightly and although she isn't as well as when she was on a full dose, she is able to function. I hope your symptoms don't come back as you dose down. Good luck. And if you have any questions, I'll try to help with my limited knowledge. Caroline

Joannie Thanks for responding. She is 67. I think my husband will talk to the person in the chemo clinic regarding what they call Can Support which is part of the hospital's hospice care. They can help us set up some care for now and st some time in the future she needs more intensive care they will help us get it. The woman I talked to said she could talk to my MIL about it. We want her to be able to maiintain independence, but we also don't want her to get hurt. Thanks again. Caroline

Hi, I haven't posted in a while but have been reading. My MIL (67 year old long term smoker) was diagnosed in mid-December with stage IV NSC (squamous). Her first symptoms were neurological - she has five tumors in her head. She had 14 rounds of WBR in December which has shrunk the tumors (they didn't say how much). Now she will be starting chemo on Friday for the lung and any other sites to which its mets. They will be using Carboplation and Taxotere, six treatments, one a week. MIL lives alone with two small dogs. She is doing pretty well right now, except for fatigue and she sometimes forgets what she was going to say. We are wondering when it will be necessary to get someone in during the day to stay with her. One of her children mentioned it to her and she is not too happy with the whole idea. But we also need to know that she is safe. Any suggestions on how to talk her into seeing the inevitable need and does anyone have some input on how the chemo may affect her ability to live alone? Thanks for any input and best wishes to everyone. Caroline

I'm new here and looking for help for our family in dealing with my mother-in-laws new diagnosis. She is 66 years old and smoked since she was 14. Otherwise she's been in good health til recently. She went to the hospital because she was forgetting what she was going to say, had problems coordinating her right hand into doing what she wanted, etc. MRI showed three lesions on the brain. More tests found two more plus cancer in the right lung (primary site) and stomach area. Thursday one of her daughters questioned the doctors and they finally told her she has cancer in the blood and lymph nodes too. They said she has 6-8 mos. with treatment, maybe 12 if she responds well. Currently she is having 14 days of whole brain radiation which will be done in two days. They are doing biopsy of lung on Monday to find out the type of cancer. I have done quite a bit of reading - this site is one of the best because its real experienced people talking in real language. I know WBR is not a real good therapy and the possible side affects are scary. I don't know what they'll decide to do after the biopsy. So far the doctors haven't been very forthcoming in providing information. You all know how scary this situation is whether as a patient or caregiver. We know that miracles happen, but are unlikely. It is very difficult to know she has so little time left when she is doing so well now. How do you deal wlith that? My husband is very upset about this, of course, and I would like to help him, but I don't know how. Can any help? Thanks for any advice you can provide. Caroline