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  1. MJ

    wedding anniversary

    hi everyone, yesterday was my parents' 30th wedding anniversary. my dad and i went to visit my mom's gravesite in the afternoon. we were afraid that the weather would turn on us because it has been raining on and off here in l.a. (see, it does rain in l.a.! ), but as soon as we entered the gates of rose hills, the sky was so blue and clear and the sun was shining brightly. when we reached the site, there was no cold wind blowing, just a light breeze, and the rain had cleared the sky so that we could see the whole city from the top of the hill. it was such a peaceful moment for me. my father cried a bit as he talked to my mom, but he only had good things to say to her. we left flowers for my mom (she loved flowers/nature) and a card. all in all, it was a good day. i hope that you and your families have a wonderful holiday season. thanks for all of your help during this year. God bless, mj
  2. MJ

    Please pray for my mom

    berisa, i'm so sorry to hear that you and your family are having to deal with all this now. prayers for your mom during this difficult time. i admire you for your strength. God bless, mj
  3. MJ

    Cary's Dad-updated

    cary, i'm so sorry for your loss. i know that this must be an especially difficult time for you. please know that you and your family are in my thoughts. God bless, mj
  4. MJ

    saying thank you

    hi joan, i'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. i went to visit my mom's onco/rad/primary doctors the week after my mom passed away to thank them for all of their help. i took some gifts that my mom had requested for me to buy and give these docs/nurses too. i was my mom's primary caretaker, so all of them knew me. i also donated all of my mom's meds/supplemental drinks. it kind of made everything come full circle for me, so it was a good experience. the docs/nurses didn't know what to say to me, but i know that they appreciated my visit. i'm thinking about stopping by again before christmas to give them all cookies. i know that my mom would've wanted me to show our appreciation. i hope that this helps you make your decision. happy holidays, mj
  5. MJ

    my beloved mom/best friend

    thank you so much for all of your responses. it's been almost 3 weeks since my mom passed away. it's still really surreal. i forgot who wrote it, but she said that she felt that her mom/dad was on a vacation. it kind of feels that way, in some aspects. i think that i'm so busy with so many things that i can't quite focus on missing her. during her last weeks, she wasn't really talking much or at all, so i just sat with her quietly, reading and writing. i think it helped me appreciate the comfort of silence (if that makes any sense), so just being by myself cooking, cleaning, working, etc. now without talking to anyone still brings me comfort in some weird way. thanks once again everyone. i wish you a wonderful thanksgiving holiday (my mom had had one round of chemo before last thanksgiving, so she was already dx...we had this huge feast with some members of our extended family, and i took pics of all of us eating...it's a wonderful memory to have now ). God bless, mj
  6. hi joan, i'm so sorry to hear about your mom. my mom, too, had brain mets and hemorraging in the brain (due to a reaction to coumadin-blood thinner). she suffered a stroke in the process due to all of it. at first, she complained of a headache and then she couldn't speak well and her left side went numb (due to the stroke--this was in the process of a day). the thing is since the cancer had spread to the brain and so many things were going on, my mom didn't seem to be aware of any pain during her last days. since your nephew found your mom in the morning (i.e. not in days), i pray that she didn't suffer much (it seems to have all occurred in a relatively short amount of time). i'm so sorry, once again. God bless, mj
  7. dean! you are my hero! so glad to hear from you. God bless, mj
  8. MJ

    I'm pissed

    hi beth, sounds like you have a good psychologist by your side. i'm sorry about your doc's comments. sometimes docs can just make over-generalizing assumptions about things. it's unfortunate, but i really hope that it doesn't keep bothering you too much. God bless, mj
  9. hi diane, i'm so sorry to hear about your dad. i know that the holidays are tough...i'm not exactly looking forwarding to thanksgiving and christmas either, but i have so much to take care of that it's been a blessing (and a curse in some ways!) that i haven't really thought about it all. i used to be the one that had my christmas shopping done by mid november, but this year, i'm just trying to "get by" as best as i can. i think that your dad and my mom would've wanted us to have a great holiday anyway, despite their not being there physically. i think that the holidays exemplify and personify the human spirit (regardless if you are religious or not), and indeed, we should celebrate the fact that we had these wonderful parents that loved us and cared for us far more than we could've ever imagined. my mom wasn't really into making the holidays this big hooplah, but she always wanted to make it special in some small way, whether it be via a special card she had written or a special meal she had prepared (my mom always made sure everyone got fed! ). anyway, my prayers are with you and your family during this time. i'm sure that your dad is with you in spirit, celebrating the holiday season right beside you and the rest of the familiy. God bless, mj
  10. MJ

    funeral today

    hi curtis, my mom's funeral/viewing services were in korean (except my eulogy - i spoke "konglish" haha), so most of my friends were completely lost too. but i'm sure that your former prof really appreciated your presence (i definitely felt the moral support from my friends). your posts are always so entertaining. God bless, mj
  11. hi everyone, i was wondering if anyone was taking any supplemental drinks (i.e. prosure, ensure, resource, boost) around the l.a., ca area (even the valley/oc). i have a whole bunch left over that i am going to give to my mom's onco, but first i wanted to see if anyone here could use them. i know that they are really expensive, so if anyone can use them, i would be more than happy to give the supply to you. i know that people are wary about receiving goods from people on the internet (isn't it a sad world in some ways? ), but the packages are all sealed and some are even in their original boxes. i would love for the supply to go to someone that really needs it. please pm me if you are interested. God bless, mj
  12. paddy, it's good to hear from you. i'm so happy that you had a chance to celebrate david's life. i know that things must be so hard for you right now. i have been continually thinking about you during the past few weeks since my mom was going through a similar situation. please contact me if you want to talk (i pm-ed you and your daughter with my contact info). take care. God bless, mj
  13. MJ

    Checking in...

    carleen, it is so good to hear from you! i was getting worried. sounds like you have a platter-full. i know that this is such a difficult time for you. you and keith are of course in my prayers. God bless, mj
  14. MJ

    delayed reaction?

    hi everyone, i was wondering if anyone else had this experience. i still haven't had a good cry since my mom passed, and i don't feel a great amount of sadness either. i know that i miss her incredibly, but in some ways, i felt that i was already losing my mom throughout the end of her illness, so i already had time to miss her while she was here (does that make sense?). i spent 24/7 with her during her last weeks (and i was basically by her side for the duration of her illness; a little over a year), and i slept by her side-literally curled up next to her in the hospice bed at home-for the remaining days. but i had good cries throughout her illness, so i haven't really had to sob after she passed. even on the day of her passing, i didn't feel much connection to her body. i told her thank you and that i loved her, kissed her on the forehead and let go of her hand. but that was it. my brother, on the otherhand, couldn't get away from her (he had to be physically taken out of the room). even on the day of the funeral, he had a hard time when they were closing the casket (my dad too), but i didn't. i kind of felt that once she passed, her body was just that -- a body, but i could feel her presence everywhere around me. i don't know if i am making any sense. anyway, i'm just afraid that that good cry is going to hit me out of nowhere, and i feel ill prepared for it (if and when it's coming). i think that i am just too busy trying to take care of my dad now too, and i have been having some issues with my brother/sister-in-law (loooong story), so i haven't had the energy to cry. anyway, i was just curious about others' reactions. thanks for listening. God bless, mj
  15. MJ

    Cary's Dad-updated

    cary, i'm so sorry to hear about your dad. i was thinking about you the other day, wondering why you haven't posted. prayers for you and your family being sent. God bless, mj
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