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Dear one, I have not been in your exact place, but my Mom died from lung cancer when I was 27. She did treatment for 2 months and it was ugly (this was many years ago.) Sometimes I wish we hadn't put her through that. You can't change what has happened, but you can choose to make the best of what you are going through. I say you - not her. She has made her choices and I hope you can accept that these are her choices. If you don't want to be there, can't be supportive of what really does sound like her last days (though could continue for many weeks or months), go home and live the best life you can with your kids. It sounds like she has friends and caregivers who are ready to take on this load. You are allowed to let them. And you can tell me this is all b*llpucky, but I mean it from my heart.

Up early to accompany M to the doc for a nerve root block test. Another guy with hip/leg pain and no fix to date. Lent him my arm to get back to the car. We stopped for breakfast out, too early for hot food but they had some nice pastry type things (he got one with an egg and bacon inside, mine was flakey with cheese and lemon?) and excellent coffee / latte. Hoping today is the last we see of the weatherization contractors - a few last things to do.

Excellent!

Hi Judy, Just waving. Wish you had someone there to keep you company.

Kasey, I hope you will convey the condolences from the whole LUNGevity group. Do you have a Philly group still meeting?

Nice Bud, very nice. All of it.

Went to Qi Gong practice this morning - the teacher greeted me with a "Don't you look bright eyed this morning?" I made it through almost the entire set of routines without needing to rest. Yesterday I got my hair cut and for the first time in three years, the stylist (more than a cutter for a change, though the same hip barber shop) did not comment on the weird texture of my hair - he thought it seemed healthy - and lots of it. It's straighter than it's been since I was 12 or so. Another short cut. Wash and wear hair for me. Still here, still planning to go away for a couple of weeks...

Katie, Didn't you fashion them from plain white satin ribbon for the Hope Summit? Just a quick loop and a safety pin. You can make them as big or as fancy as you want. Bedazzling works too.

Dare we ask what you said in return? Or at least in your head a few hours later? Dawn - I hope you are feeling well off chemo. I've only been off 4 weeks and someone today commented on how bright eyed I looked this morning. Yes, in the a.m.!

Very sad. Young Jack wrote a blog entry not too long ago, yes?

Pretty good day yesterday. Dad was cooperative - and well, charming to the doctor and to us. And appreciative. Dad just keeps on ticking. Lots of rainbows yesterday. Of course that means rain, but also sunshine. By the time it grew dark, the sky was mostly clear, a big crescent moon provided some night light, and the number of kids out in our 'hood was far more than I've ever seen! We went through 4 bags full and handed out the last of them just after 8 and turned off the lights. Typically, only the teens are out later than that anyway.

That's the way it always should be, without the anxiety.

Here's a good article from the North: http://www.vancouversun.com/health/bigg ... z1cNwgCpi5

Happy belated birthday Ann! M bought 4 bags of minis for tonight, though we may not be home till 7. He doesn't eat that stuff so I may have lots of it to snack on in the days ahead. Saw Moneyball and enjoyed it, though I don't really like sports themed movies. My friend saw Anon and liked it (though she admitted to not following it too well as she drifted off a bit - more her life right now than the movie.) There are some alpaca and lama farms up the road a bit - so now I know to hum as we pass! I mean, who doesn't moo as they pass cows by the side of the road? Taking Dad back to the doc today. Fingers crossed that it goes better.

We saw Moneyball last night - not sports fans, but it was pretty good anyway. Good night's sleep. Just polished off a bagel with lox and cream cheese. Looking damp out there, but not raining.

Judy in MI, You know I am not a doctor, but .5mm in change is really small. Please read this piece from Grace: http://cancergrace.org/lung/2011/08/09/ ... -scanning/ 5 mm is also really small to consider surgery. That's my opinion. Sorry to hear about more pain in the ribs. Pleurisy is something I only think of from old fiction books. Now that I read a bit, I have to say, I resemble that - but I guess since my pain was lower (not in the chest) it ain't it. And nothing showed on my chest x-ray. I guess my liver sack is just irritating my diaphragm. Did they put you on antibiotics or anything? Good luck with the car Lily.

Another pleasant autumn day. 47? Feels like 55. Had the plumber in this morning to replace the filler in the toilet - too many drip, drip, drips. I was glad I called for a pro - he had trouble loosening up the nut - I would have stripped it or worse if I had a go at it. There is a K-8 school at the end of the block and they are having a harvest festival, tomorrow I think, kids only. Today that means the parents who came to help prep have filled the street with cars. The plumber ended up having to park in my neighbor's driveway (I checked with her first.) So good to have a neighbor who has become a friend. Helps a lot that she was also a friend of a friend before we both moved here (we bought within a day of each other!)

Hi Janet, Smoked a salmon - are you in the PNW too? I'm an architect by training and, verbose by avocation. You'll fit in great here. Hate to welcome anyone to this place, but we're a great group of people to have around, if I say so myself. Stephanie

Oh, I'm usually good with picking up (and laying down) sarcasm. Missed that. Okay, move along, no fight, nothing to see here. Well, we are punching people in the face...that would be pretty fun right now. Years ago, I had to restrain myself from punching parking meters. I knew I would lose. But I was tempted. If only I knew everything I know now, then. The world would have been much safer for parking meters.

I had that chemo doublet after surgery. No hair loss, so don't get ahead of yourself on shaving! Mine did thin the month after treatment ended, but no one could tell but me and the shower. I did hate the stink from chemo, and could handle the scent of high quality soap and shampoo to mask it. Some can't. Take the anti-nausea drugs and the anti-constipation drugs. Food tasted fine to me, but I mainly wanted chinese and indian food, and stuff like peanut butter toast, almonds, yogurt, and ice cream. Ginger is good. Try to walk daily (though I think you will be forced to be active with a family?) You will receive dexamethasone (a steroid) to help with the nausea. It may make you a bit hyper for a few days around infusion. Try to rest on those days anyway. You will likely experience a crash when their course is done, like 3 days after infusion. Okay, that was my experience. I've known others to have almost no reaction to chemo - just would go right back to work. You'll have a better idea after your first day. The day with cisplatin will be long as they hydrate you at the same time (and you'll be using the sandbox all day long!) The gemzar only day was far easier for me - I would go to lunch afterwards. I worked part time for about half the time I was on treatment, and then decided I wasn't up to it. But we continued to walk and go out, visit with friends, go see movies. A good time to take care of yourself as best you can. Don't hesitate to inform your oncologist or the nurse of anything you are experiencing. They can help with drugs, or even with a dose adjustment. This can include ringing in your ears, dizziness, neuropathy (numbness or tingling in your hands or feet) and other bodily delights. A couple of weeks after chemo ended, we got on a plane and went to San Francisco and had a nice escape. We walked a lot, went to the museum, ate good food. Try to have something to look forward. I hope that helps?

"Seems like all of us at 50 or so with LC smoked, right?" Sorry Alan, but no, a lot of us 50 somethings never smoked and still got lung cancer. I know we are not supposed to differentiate on cause, but I'm a bit offended that you made that statement. I've learned all it takes to get to get lung cancer is lungs, and some crazy cells.

Late to the party - slept all day - even part of the time at clinic. Some mysterious infection raging in my system - WBC count high, no pneumonia, no febrile neutropenia. Maybe just a flu, despite last week's flu shot. So much for feeling great - that was yesterday. Scan results tomorrow.

Took an hour walk in a local garden / park - Kubota Gardens. Really lovely fall colors. http://www.kubota.org/Garden%20images.htm The sky was much more blue today and the colors vibrant. There was a large wedding party wandering about doing wedding pictures - and speaking a foreign language, possibly Russian or Romanian? The younger males had on too much cologne.

Nice fundraising results! Who gets the big check? Sun is trying to be out today. Yesterday was a blustery autumn day, but warm. We saw 50/50 last night. We each cried just a little, at different times I think, and both laughed. It's really a buddy movie - a heart warmer, despite the original subject matter. The effort to set it in Seattle was the biggest flaw in the production.

Hi Ron, I think it is a question only you can answer. My Dad started a relationship sometime in the first year after my Mom died. The unfortunate thing was he did not tell his 3 kids until he announced he had proposed! That was the shocker. He got married about 15 or 16 months after her passing. They stayed married until she died about 17 years later and he had the joy of helping raise some grandchildren his own kids didn't provide. I know he made a huge difference in the lives of that second family - and they in his. We like being here for happiness too - keep us posted and may love bloom again for you.