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BGK

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Everything posted by BGK

  1. BGK

    My Mom

    Patti, THANK YOU! I promise, I will never give up. I hope your chemos are going well. And I appreciate your kindness and warmness. Keep up the good fight. Best, BGK
  2. BGK

    My Mom

    Things have been so busy that I haven't been able to send an update till now. First off, my mom is home and in the middle of getting chemo and radiation treatments. Luckily, the doctor says she is responding above average. I happen to also be a believe in visualization, mediation, breathing exercises to calm the mind. My mom has embraced this. And at times it helps her. My parents live down in Florida and after staying a month to get her stable and in a treatment sked I had to return up north to work. What I have found is that work has been supportive (which I am thankful for).. BUT what I find is that most people really don't understand what it is I am going through. The very few are those people who have had a parent ill. I am not sure what to do... BC I do feel like I am in a somewhat alternate universe... and I want to be with my mom 24/7... yet I am fully aware of how I feel and what is happening. In addition I am seeing a cancer social worker one-to-one. What can I say to these other people.. who supposedly care about me... who just when they listen to the latest about my mom.. don't keep saying, "you should talk to someone." I feel like truthfully they should talk with someone. BC I am getting my priorities straight and trying to grow as much as I can in this situation. Sorry everyone to vent. I am having a hard time with people's opinions about something they obviously know nothing about. Hope all of you are well.
  3. BGK

    My Mom

    So after a scary day yesterday my mom is in the hospital. Her calcium level was high ad her kidney function (left kidney) was too low. They have been give meds since last night to flush out the kidney's and pain medication. All is make her rest and feel less pain. I am happy to say that the meds are working and her kidney's are doing a lot better. A long haul.. But she is strong, and fighting her way through it. We all stand united around her. Hope remains strong. The doc said this is only a setback. We will be back on track soon.
  4. BGK

    My Mom

    Barbara, My mom's name is Barbara. And I live in Bergen County, NJ and work in NYC. So I take it as a sign of good luck that this morning when I read the post... I saw your name and where you are from. Thank you. I feel like sometimes I am living holding on for dear life and at other times I feel like everything is normal and then I quickly remember. Thank you. I will keep posting updates. It helps me a great deal to know that others understand without me having to explain too much.
  5. BGK

    My Mom

    First thank you all for all the useful information. I find it all extremely helpful. And your kindness is incredible. The update on my mom is this: She is getting an additional biopsy on her kidney to determine that this is one cancer we are fighting. The doc is pretty sure it is but wants to make sure. In addition that are doing a brain scan to check if it spread in that direction. Then we will meet with the doc to finally get a treatment plan. Which for now i believe only includes chemo. I do not live close by to my parents.. but have taking time away from work to be with them and help get a treatment plan going. I'm feeling a million different emotions... luckily I have a fantastic puppy whose 11 months old who I brought with me. He is incredibly healing for all of us. Dogs are just amazing. One of the hardest things that I am finding is that even though I have a fantastic support system of friends, they are all out a distance away... I find it weird that life goes on and doesn't stop. I'm not sure what I need. But it's hard to make people understand this unless they have gone through it. I find that the only person I really want to talk to is a close friend whose mom died of cancer. She gets it without me having to say a lot of words. I don't know if what I am even writing makes any sense at all... I am a bit wiped out this evening. Again thank you all.
  6. BGK

    My Mom

    Denise, Thank you for the HOPE! I really appreciate it. Best, BGK
  7. BGK

    My Mom

    Thank you everyone! Went to the doctor with my family earlier today and my mom was officially diagnosed with Stage 4 Squamous Lung Cancer. On Monday she is going to get a biopsy of her kidney to make sure that it's all the same kidney. Also, they will do a bran scan to make sure it didn't spread to her brain. Then Chemo will be assigned and it will begin. Has anyone every heard of someone in this stage 4 beating cancer or it going into remission. This is a scary time... I am trying everything I can. I know this came from smoking.. I am not at all harping on that.. but once in a while she still takes a few puffs... she had greatly cut down on it. This is something I don;t understand since I am not a smoker. But I need to get her into a support group and also she needs to learn other ways of coping with her life that are healthier. I don't want to tell her what to do, but do want to help her get as healthy as possible to begin the fight. Also has anyone ever heard that dairy is very bad for cancer patients? Sorry for all the questions and thoughts. I am in the middle of processing everything. THANK YOU THANK YOU all of you for being here.
  8. BGK

    My Mom

    My mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer that has spread. She is getting a lung biopsy tomorrow morning to determine treatment. I do not believe surgery is an option. Radiation and chemo more likely. I am frightened out of my mind but never show any that in front of my mother or my father. She is in a lot of pain after being misdiagnosed for 3 months. My brothers are here at my parents house as well. We all live out of state. I am planning on staying long term bc I can work form here if need be. I am 35 years old and I do not want to loose my mother. We are finally have a close healthy relationship. And I want her one day to be at my wedding and to be around when I have children. I found out the diagnosis on Friday. I sit with my mom while she feels a million different emotions. And I have no idea ho wto process this for myself. I breakdown in the shower... I have great friends... they are all out of town and I don't feel like talking all that much. They all know what is going on. I just want my mom to be pain free and have a good quality of life. I hope tomorrow will begin moving forward to find some answers. Can anyone offer any advice, hope, etc... I am a very spiritual person and do everything i can to help her and my dad. Thank you! BGK
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