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Angie Daughter of Bill

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  1. Caren I am so sorry. I know those painful feelings all too well. I posted yesterday about how much it still hurts that my Dad is no longer with us and he passed in 2005. There is so much he will be missing in my girl's lives. All I can say is that as time goes on, the bad days seem to get farther apart. I wish I had a magic wand to take away the pain. Wishing your uncle and soon a speedy recovery! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie Hope you are feeling better soon! Angie
  2. Oh yes!!!! How could I forget Fay A????? It does help to read those posts but it's sad at the same time. When I was getting really teary eyed I came across the Just For Fun forum. The battle of the "Daves" brought many laughs. Those guys. I bet they are in Heaven still bickering. Sweet memories.
  3. We have the DARE program in our school also. Like Katie, my kids had it in 5th grade. Lots of information for the kids and myself too. I forgot to mention that a couple of years back we had a little girl who had a baby in SIXTH GRADE!!!!! In 6th grade I wasn't even thinking about "THAT". Not sure if I even knew about sex in 6th grade........that's been a year or two ago. Angie
  4. My Dad passed in March 2005. There are still times that I have a ""crying day." Today is one of them. It seems that if there is something else going on in my life, it magnifies my grief. My oldest daughter has to see a GI dr. tomorrow. She very likely has Crohn's disease. This is devastating to me as I have seen the effects of Crohn's on my ex. (Her dad) How I wish my Dad could be here for me during this!! This same daughter will graduate high school next year with an almost perfect 4.0 GPA. My sweet Dad will not get to be there to share this with her. She is going to do something GREAT with her life. I just know it.(She is much smarter than her mother and she is blonde at that. ) I wish he could see how her life is going to turn out. Then there is my youngest......going to be in 7th grade next year. The three of us miss him so bad!! Sometimes the pain is just as bad as it was when he first passed!! Is that even normal after so long?????? To make matters worse, I have been reading some older posts. My oh my how I miss seeing some of my old on-line friends!!! Dean Carl, Mr. Ry(John), Frank, Cindy oh, betplace.............Such great people who had to leave this world MUCH too early!!! Just having a really bad day I guess. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie
  5. I know that 8 years old seems young but let me tell you that this past year we had some boys in 3rd grade who got in big trouble for having Copenhagen at school. And yes, they were actually using it during P.E. As a dental hygienist I see LOTS of junior high and high school boys who use smokeless tobacco. For some reason smokeless tobacco seems to be the big thing with the kids now. They think it's not a big deal since they are not inhaling smoke. I of course show them pictures of oral cancer to show just how dangerous it can be. These days it seems that kids grow up so much faster than they used to. They are exposed to negative things at a much earlier age. Now, is it the schools place to do this educating about tobacco? Well, in my opinion, not really. The sad fact is there are many kids who do not have good role models and school might be the only place that they hear about the dangers of such things. Angie
  6. So sorry to hear this news. In my thoughts and prayers~~ Angie
  7. You are not a baby! From what I have witnessed treatments are tough. I pray that this new chemo will work magic for you and that you are feeling better soon. In my thoughts and prayers~~ Angie
  8. My old friend Becky!! I am doing good these days except for the fact that my oldest daughter will be a senior next year. ( I am already crying over that!) I probably never told you but you ALWAYS brightened my day with your posts to me and I am so thankful to you for that. So.......HOW ARE YOU DOING??? In my thoughts and prayers~~ Angie
  9. I am not sure if any of you oldtimers here remember me. It's been a long time since I have been on this site. Since my Dad passed it was really difficult to be around here. Actually, I am really ashamed of myself. So many were here to support me when I needed it. EVERY TIME!! No crying over spilled milk. I am doing much better and I am here to offer support, prayers and advice. It's so good to see that so many of you are still posting!!
  10. It seems so strange to be posting in the grieving forum.............seems almost unreal. One part of me knew the reality............that my Dad was getting worse and that I would soon lose him. Another part of me thought I would NEVER lose him...........that together we would beat cancer. I thought I woud share a poem that my oldest daughter wrote on the day that Dad passed on. Dad passed on at 4:30a.m. At 5:15a.m., my daughter handed me a piece of paper and asked me to read it. It was this poem. It came straight from her little heart. She always puts her emotions on paper. It just amazed me that 45 minutes after Dad passed, she came up with a poem. It was a great way for her to express herself. I think it has helped her to heal a bit. She also felt honored that I had the preacher read her poem at Dad's funeral service. Oh and by the way.......I need to explain one sentence in the poem about Sampson..........we used to have a bull named Sampson. He was HUGE!!!! (about 2100 pounds) My Dad and Brittney were riding around the pasture in a Jeep. They decided to stop and take in the scenery. Sampson walked over and started rubbing his head on the Jeep. He rubbed it so hard that it made the Jeep rock back and forth.............to the point they had to start up the Jeep and leave. It scared her to death!!!! Oh what precious memories!!!!!!!! Her is her poem.......... Papa, I loved you so dear. I loved you so sincere. You really don't know how special you made me feel everytime you grinned at me. I want to hold your hand, But know I know your with that great man in the beloved place. I've learned a lot from you in the past 13 years and here are just a few: I've learned to not go out in the jeep when Sampson is in the pasture. I've learned to be nicer to people when they are mean to you. But you taught one of the most important things in my life and that was when life gives you a challenge run at the problem with all your heart and never give up! That's everything you did plus a lot more and I really admire you for that. Love, Your A # 1 Buddy Brittney ************************************************************* Dad used to call Brittney his "A #1 Buddy" all the time, so she thought that would be the appropriate way to sign off. I hope you enjoyed reading the poem. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie
  11. Hello gang! This is my first time back on the site since I lost my Dad on March 16th. Thanks to TeeTaa for posting Dad's obituary for me. I just couldn't seem to make myself come here and type the words. It has been two weeks today since I lost my Dad. I am dealing with this the best I know how. Like my usual "in control" self, I threw myself into a small remodeling project. The room where my Dad stayed brought much sadness to me, my hubby and our girls. We decided to make it into a "kid's den" area. It has many bright and happy colors...........orange, lime green, hot pink...........it's very 70's retro looking. (All of the colors and furnishings were chosen by my 8 year old and 13 year old girls.) Now that the redecorating is done, I don't know what to do with myself. I spent so much time caring for my Dad, sitting with my Dad.........at times, for just a split second, I still find myself thinking that I will go and sit with Dad for a while. Then it hits me...........he's gone. I do find comfort in some things such as my Dad being at home when he passed. Dad didn't want to get hospice. He didn't see the need for all of those "strangers" coming in and checking on him. In his words, "I think you are doing a fine job with things." Also Dad was not in pain when he passed. The last three days Dad began to sleep longer periods of time. The night he passed, I told him at about 11:30p.m. that I loved him and good night. He was barely able to talk, but he managed to say, "Goodnight, hon. You're a good girl. I love you." Those were the last words spoken to me by my Dad. At 3:00a.m., my sister in law,who is an RN and had been staying with us the last couple of days, came in and woke me up. She said that Dad's breathing had changed several times over the last hour. She didn't think it would be long. Of course me and my hubby went to be with Dad. Dad was unresponsive to us. About 2 or 3 minutes before Dad passed, he had this huge smile come over his face. I believe that Dad caught a glimpse of Heaven at that moment. He took just a few more shallow breaths and he was gone. My loss was Heaven's gain. In the three or four days that followed it was like a whirl wind. Although Dad and I had gone back in December to pre-arrange his funeral, there were still many decisions to be made. The words for his funeral, the music, etc. One of the songs that I had played at Dad's funeral was "Wind Beneath My Wings". It was dedicated to my Dad from me. Dad was my hero and always will be. It is just beginning to sink in that I won't see his kind and gentle face again on this earth. That is really hard to come to terms with. I have not allowed myself to cry since the funeral. I have tried to stay strong for my girls. As I am typing this, the tears are falling. I think I better close and go have a long overdue cry. I thank each and every one of you who have supported my Dad and I during his illness and passing. I don't know how I would have made it without you guys. I am not leaving the site. Not now. It's just hard to come here right now. I might read, but not post too much for a while. Love to all!!!!!!!!!!!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie
  12. Bill First of all let me express how sorry I am that your wife is not doing well. I hate it for you and for your wife. About the Tarceva.......at one point while my Dad was taking Iressa, he considered hospice. His Blue Cross insurance was going to cover the Iressa and still let him get hospice care. We had to make several phone calls, but the insurance allowed it. In the end, Dad changed his mind and decide to do more chemo, so we didn't sign up with hospice. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie
  13. Elaine My goodness what an ordeal with your son!!! I hope he is recovering and feeling much better. I was going to post an APB for you if you didn't show up soon. I was getting worried about you. I hope that you are feeling good. I know the job situation with your hubby is terrible. Something will come up soon.........I just know it. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie
  14. Jim This news is just MIRACULOUS!!!!!!!!! There is no other word for it. You keep your positive attitude and your Faith in God!! If anyone can beat this monster, you can!!!!! I'm so happy for you!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie P.S. Grab that little shadow of yours and fuel up the boat..............it's time to fish!!!
  15. What a horrible ordeal!! I will be praying that this is an infection. I know the worst is the waiting. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie
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