Angie Daughter of Bill

Good to hear from you TBone! Enjoy a well deserved vacation!!! Angie

Jane Thinking of you as well! Prayers for you and your whole family! Angie

This is a guide for the men here. Now, you guys follow these quite simple rules and we will have NO problems!!! 1. The Female always makes The Rules. 2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. 3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules. 5. The Female is never wrong. 6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.) 7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.) 8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time. 9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female. 10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset. 12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset. 13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times. 14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp. 15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm. 16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining. 17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void! GOT IT????? Angie

Words that you or I would commonly use for one meaning, have a completely different meaning to parents in a family... AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again. BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 AM too. DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside. DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins. DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you from falling into financial disaster. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings. PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms. PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes. SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children. THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. VERBAL: able to whine in words. WEAKER sex: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out. WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house. WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".

Good one!! Glad you are joining us crazy folks here in the just for laughs forum. (ya' might want to watch out, our craziness can be contagious!!) Angie

Watch those 'wogs!! I had five to grow front and back legs. They were about as long as my seven year olds pinkie finger nail. Three little frogs escaped. We then got something to cover their "home" with. They were doing great until we left the "roof" off two nights ago. The other two frogs are gone. My little 'wogs are in a five gallon bucket with only about 3 or 4 inches of water...............so the critters can climb when they get all four legs. I still have 8 'wogs that have no legs yet. Hopefully, we can keep then confined until they grow a bit.

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. "Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really, really rich." ***POOF*** her rocking chair turns to solid gold. She smiles and says, "Gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." ***POOF*** she turns into a beautiful young woman. "Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh...can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. ***POOF*** there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak. He saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered!"

A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma's idea."

Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John Jones was married, and Joe Jones was single. The single brother Joe was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat. It happened that John Jone's wife died the same day that Joe's rowboat filled with water and sank. A few days later, a kindly old lady met Joe and mistaken him for John said; "Oh Mr. Jones, I am sorry to hear of your great loss, you must feel terrible". Joe smiled and said, "Well I am not a bit sorry, she was rather old from the start. Her bottom was all chewed up and she smelled of dead fish. Even the first time I got into her, she made water faster than anything I ever saw. She had a bad crack and a pretty big hole in her front, and that hole got bigger every time I used her. It got so I could barely handle her, but if anyone else used her she leaked like anything. The thing that finished her was four guys from the other side of town. They came down looking for a good time and asked if I could lend her to them. I warned them she wasn't so hot, but they could take a crack at her if they liked. Well, the result was the crazy fools tried to get inside her all at once and it was too much for her. She cracked right up the middle". Before he could finish the old lady fainted!

Thank you! Some of you suggested that I do what I had been thinking of. I just want to shake Dad and say, "Look, if we are going to fight this, then we have to give it 100% and let the doctors in on everything that is going on. The doctors can't help if we don't call. If we don't call your doctor, you could end up in the hospital.......or worse." I have not done this yet. It sounded harsh to me, but it's all I could think to do. Of course I couldn't get him to go to the doctor today. If he continues this coughing, etc., we will be making a trip to the emergency room. Five or six hours of waiting to be seen should teach him to call his doctor. Sharyn, I might have to resort to your suggestion..........crying.........it works every time. (Why didn't I think of that???? Dad hates to see me cry.) Thanks..........at least I know that I am not being paranoid and that he does need to get checked out. Angie

Some of you please help me with this one. About six weeks ago, Dad started having really bad coughing "spells". I insisted that he go to his family dr. Well, sure enough, he had a pretty bad case of bronchitis. For the last four days, he is doing the same thing.......coughing like crazy, not sleeping at night because of the coughing, wheezing.......in general, not feeling well. I am CERTAIN that he has bronchitis again. (or maybe pnuemonia by now) I have tried for four days to get him to let me call his dr. Nooooooooooo, he doesn't want me to. He says that he has an appointment on Thursday of next week with his oncologist and we can "mention" it then. I think that is too long to wait. My Dad just doesn't take a "change in symptoms" seriously at all. I probably take them too seriously. I have been staying awake most every night listening to him breath and cough. At times, it is really scary. I might also mention that my Dad has not left the house for more than 15 minutes for the last four days. He normally stays out most all day. It is so frustrating. He doesn't want to "bother" the doctor on a Friday. Well, what about Tues., Wed., and Thurs.?? I try so hard to take good care of my Dad, but it is hard to do when he is so stubborn. I know I sound like I am talking about a child......I do not disrespect my Dad in any way. (I hope I am not coming across that way) At what point should I absolutely insist that he go get checked out?? And, how do I convince him to take a change in his symptoms seriously? I'm afraid that he is going to end up in the hospital before the weekend is over. Thanks! Angie

ALLLLLLLLRIGHT!!! See, all those prayers and a good radiation doc can do wonders. Your hubby is still on our prayer list at church. Soooooo glad that he is feeling better. Angie

Mo, I am not giving up on you, sweetie!! You are such a fighter. You can overcome this. I just know it. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Much love, Angie

O.K. David, did you find my last Valentine's Day card from my hubby?? Remember, I am a redneck from Alabama! Cute! Angie

Blonde moment forgiven!!! Angie

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!". Typical!

As Paul Harvey would say........here is the rest of the story. You see, surely this poor woman had many children. (her husband's fault of course) The poor woman had to nurse all of these children. (bless her heart, you KNOW what nursing a baby can do ) Now, this poor, poor woman is having to be the brunt of cruel jokes about her sagging b@@bs. ........and it's all her husband's fault anyway. See guys...........you just can't win!! No sense in even trying. (Although the visual on this one was hilarious!!) Good try though! Subtract two points for making fun of this poor lady.

I was thinking about TBone yesterday. Glad you guys posted about him. I will drop one of his sister's a PM to see how things are going. Angie

Elaine Shhhhhhhh.......never ever confess to blonde moments. (not here anyway) The guys will never let you live it down. I must say, I have blonde moments, and my hair is brown. Go figure. Angie

Elaine I think Frank meant that he was giving us girls 10 points for that one. (because there was 10 men that let go) THAT IS WHAT YOU MEANT, RIGHT FRANK?????????? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!! We are waaaaaay ahead now. Angie

Cute!!

Dearest Shelly I am so, so, so sorry! Please accept my sympathy. Much love, Angie Fellow LCSC members, I just got off of the phone with Shelly. I popped on the board this morning quickly and answered a few posts. I did not visit the grieving forum, but I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I called Shelly. That is when I found out about her father and that she had posted here. She asked me to let everyone know that she is doing o.k. She said that when she posted earlier, she posted out of anger. I do believe now that she sees that her father's pain and suffering are over with and that he is in a better place. However, her pain is still very real. (understandably so) Her father had a really rough time over the last week. Shelly and her sister were both there with their father when he passed. She is thankful for that. Let's continue to rememebr this family in our prayers.

Well, whatever you are up to, have a good time. See you soon! (I bet REAL soon! ) Angie

Ry I remembered the post about Sam. That was the first thing that popped into my head when this happened. That's all I could think about. One thing that really concerns me is that Dad's tumor is encasing the main pulmonary artery in his left lung. I have been fearful of a major bleed since this journey began. Geeeesh..........there are times that I get motion sickness from this rollercoaster ride. I am taking Dad tomorrow to see his Dr. We will see what happens. So far, it hasn't happened again. Only twice. Keep everything crossed that it is only low platelets or something that can be fixed easily. (Never thought I would be asking anyone to keep everything crossed that my Dad ONLY has low platelets ) On this journey, low platelets are just a bump in the road. Thank you all for your caring and concern. Angie

Dearest Mo So glad that we got some news from you. I hope you are feeling better REAL soon! We miss your beautiful soul when you are not here. Prayers for a speedy recovery. Angie