kellyb66

I posted on here about 2 weeks ago that we just found out that my mom had lung cancer, which spread to her liver real quick. She came home from the hospital last Thursday and Hospice was prepared to come in. I decided Thursday morning that I would go ahead and go to AR from NC. My husband was going to drive me there and I would stay for as long as I needed. We got up Friday morning and we got to Winston-Salem and my grandma called and said she had just passed away. I was relieved that it had happened that way because I really didn't want to see her so sick, but of course you want to hold them, love them, etc. The last time I talked to her was on Wednesday of last week. We always told each other we loved each other. I am happy that she is not in any pain and she went very quickly. She just quit breathing. Thank you to the ones that responded to my post. I will continue to read your posts and pray for ALL of you. God Bless each of you. Kelly Brantley

Sandra, Thank you for the warm welcome. Kelly

Hi Judy, Again, good to hear from you. Yes, my mom is in pain. They are giving her morphine every 2 hrs. I think the reason they are giving her that is because #1. She is addicted to Xanax. 2. She was taking hydro? she was cutting them in half, but taking a lot of them. My grandma just told me about all of this. She says my mom is addicted to xanax so there may be some pain with that addiction....she has complained about her back hurting for several weeks. I guess hospice will give her morphine. I am still waiting to hear from my grandma on how it went with hospice today....I hope there is a little ray of sunlight to go with that. Thank you for your concern for my grandma. She is a wonderful lady. She raised me and my brother. She is healthier than most of her children and she is very active at 81. She has been blessed. I will keep you posted on her. Thank you. Kelly

Hi Ms. Judy, When the Dr. told my mom on Friday that she had cancer, he told her he would keep her in the hospital for a few days and then send her home with hospice. She has not done any treatments because they are just finding the cancer and when he told her she had cancer, she told him she didn't want to do any treatments and the dr. advised against doing the treatments. Now that was her lung dr. Two cancer doctors talked to her yesterday and they did not mention any treatment options to her. I don't know if that was because she said she didn't want any (I think she would be open to talk about it) or if they just think they will not help. My grandma was going to meet with three people from hospice today and then meet with the dr's again tomorrow so I will know more this evening and then again tomorrow. My brother said that my mom said she wanted to go to a nursing home because she didn't want to be a burden on anyone. I did get an email from my grandma this morning asking me to come home the 1st of April to go thru my mom's things. She wants me to get what I want first and I have aunts and uncles that are already acting like buzzards just waiting to land. This shouldn't be this way, but it is. I have felt better today. I went to church and cried my heart out. I guess it is something that we need to do and apparently it is somewhat healthy because I do feel better...don't know about tomorrow though. I go back to work so I should keep my mind busy. My grandma is having a hard time with this as well...as a matter of fact, she has an appt. with her heart dr. on the 11th of this month. I think she is going to need a nerve pill. Thank you, Judy.

Hi Randy & Judy, Thank you for responding to my post. Each one of you have helped me today and today has been a very rough day for me emotionally. I just talked to my grandma and she said that 2 drs. told my mom today that she had stage 4 cancer. They told her she would be bedfast when she went home, she would need someone to lift her, to turn her in the bed and to change her diaper. The dr. told my grandma that she had less than 6 months, but doubted she would live past 3. Not the news that I wanted to here. My brother and I have a pretty good relationship and I am going to have to depend on him to take care of everything if I am not there. I imagine that I will have to make that trip before long tho... I have a headache from crying for most of the day. I fell apart this morning and then my husband and I were coming home from Sam's and I lost it again in the car..I guess it is to be expected. This is hard. Randy, my grandma told me that they told her a person that was dehydrated did not feel the pain as much??? My grandma said if she took her home that she would become dehydrated and end up back in the hospital. It just sounds to me like the hospital doesn't even want her back...send her home to die with some morphine. I will check out the website that you gave me. Thank you both! Kelly

Hi Ned, Thank you for the welcome. I will tell my mom what you said about the treatments and hopefully if the dr. does suggest a treatment she will decide to do it. I will keep you informed on what the dr. suggest.... Your dogs are beautiful. I am an animal lover...no kids...just 4 legged ones. Take care, Kelly

Hello Annie, Thank you for replying. I have not looked at the road less travelled but I will. My mom had several mini-strokes on Feb. 17th of this year, which was less than a month ago. 2 days later, her GP told her that he thought she had lung cancer that had spread to her brain so he wanted to do scans of the brain and lungs. They did those on the 19th and was told the dr. would have the results on the 20th, which was a Friday. She had to WAIT all weekend because they didn't get the results. She called the dr's office on Monday and all they would tell her was they had made an appt. with the lung specialist that she had seen last fall. I called her GP and said, "All I want to know is does she have cancer or not?" The nurse told me they were 99.9% sure she had lung cancer and the brain had come back negative. She went to the lung dr. on the 25th of Feb. and he told her from the scans that there were several spots in both lungs and on the liver that he thought were maligant, but he wanted to biopsy to be sure. She went back the next day to do the biopsy and because she was taking blood thinner meds, she had to wait 5 days to get that out of her system. So....this past Tuesday they go in to do the biopsy of the lung and they decided to do the liver instead because they were afraid to do the lungs. The surgeon told my grandma that there was cancer in the liver, which the lung spec. said they told him that as well, but he wanted to see the path. report and that would be friday (yesterday). So, I know what you mean about waiting....IT IS HARD and very frustrating. You are being told they haver cancer, but to hear it as confirmed is very tough. I was at work yesterday when I was told and I was not in a position where I could leave work. I held myself together and fell apart a little bit this morning in the shower. I feel it coming on, I cry and little and then I pull myself together. This is not easy. I know where you are at....my heart goes out to you. Kely

Annie, My heart goes out to you...I am in the same situation except I am 830 miles away. My brother and my grandmom will take care of her once she comes home from the hospital. They are going to have to let me know when I need to come home..in the meantime the phone is my contact with my mom. God bless you. Kelly

Hi Patty, Thank you for your words of encouragement and I am glad to hear that you are on your 29th month...there is hope. An Oncologist is suppose to talk to her the 1st of the week about treatment options. When they told her yesterday that she had cancer, she told them that she didn't want any treatments. I don't know if she will change her mind or not. She only weighs 72 lbs. I don't know if she could handle a treatment. Her Gp told me last June that she had a mass in her lung, but he didn't want me to tell her because she was very weak and very depressed. He was afraid she would give up. I came home with the news and told no one but my husband. The GP sent her to a lung spec. because of her lungs and all of a sudden her lungs are clear. So I questioned what her GP had told me. I called him 3 times and left a message asking him to return my call and to this day he has not returned my calls. I told this to my moms lung dr. yesterday and he said he would go back thru scans to see if he had missed something, but he has not seen the cancer until now. He said if it was there in June, it is not moving as fast as he thought it was. Again, thank you. Kelly

Hi. My name is Kelly. I am 42 yrs. old and I live in N.C. I found out yesterday that my mom has large cell lung cancer that has spread to her liver. The dr. said she is a stage 4. She is in the hospital in Arkansas where she lives. They will keep her for a few days and then send her home with hospice. The dr. is kind of baffled because he said that usually large cell cancer doesn't spread quick, but this has moved very quick. She had fluid on her lungs last fall, but nothing else showed up and then she began to have problems about 2 weeks ago and there are 2 tumors in 1 lung and 1 tumor in the other with spots on her liver. They couldn't do a lung biopsy because they were afraid the lungs would collapse so they biopsied the liver and it came back as cancer. I am 830 miles from home, afraid to fly and I don't know when to go. The dr. said not to make an emergency trip home right now, but he wouldn't tell me how long she had. He said he needed to get her maintained so she can stay at home. the last time she was weighed she was 72 lbs, which she has always been very small. My brother lives there and he will help take care of her, but I would like to be there as well...but I work.r I just need some advise. Thank you, Kelly