Hi everyone,
On February 13th, my mom was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer~stage IV. She is 81 years old. She tried a round of chemo but became so ill that she will not take any more. Part of the problem, discovered later, was that when they took a biopsy of the liver, it failed to heal and there was internal bleeding involved.
The cancer is in both lungs, some rib bones, her liver, right hip and femur for sure. Suspected to be elsewhere as well, but being extremely claustrophobic, mom has refused to undergo anymore CT scans or other tests involving tubes of any sort.
Her oncologist in Phoenix gave her 2-4 months to live. We are now back in ND ~ her state of birth ~ where she iis in an apartment building with three of her sisters. I have taken a "leave" from my job and am living with her, going home to tend to my job for a few days every couple weeks. My husband is also across the state, so I see him a couple times a month.
Her disease is definitely getting worse. She is now on round-the-clock pain meds otherwise she would not be functioning at all. She just had five radiation treatments to hopefully ease the pain in her hip and leg. The last couple days an increased amount of weezing when she breathes is apparent. She has always been a hard worker and continues to push herself as much as possible, but shortness of breath, exhaustion, and pain make it hard for her to do anything for very long.
This is such a struggle in so many ways. I love my mom dearly, and these moments are precious to both of us. Sometimes it all gets the better of us, however, and tempers flare. Needless to say, I feel terrible about this. My profession calls for me to help others going through rough times, yet I don't seem to have the compassion and patience with my own mom that I can give to others.
I don't know what to expect. I read in here of others diagnosed with stage iv cancer who have survived for quite awhile, however, mom's disease seems to be progressing quite rapidly. She has opted to just let it take its course naturally and live until she dies. We have talked of hospice, but she sees that as something she will want "when the time comes down the road." My thoughts are that she could receive the benefits of that program now if we were a part of it. I know, though, that she has to be ready for it in order to accept their help. Sometimes I think she is still in denial about what's happening; other times she is so matter of fact about the progress of the disease that I am amazed.
I am here because I need to be in touch with others who have walked this journey. There is no hope for a cure here ~ not even a slow-down of the disease. I just need a community who has been there so that I can vent, question, receive feedback ~ whatever!
Thanks for "listening" and hanging in there through this long post.
Blessings and peace,